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Professor Hex, Scholar of the Strange and Mysterious Professor Hex offers so many links to so many cool and occulty sites, so you can always fill your daily quota of mysterious and occulty knowledge when you need to... Please vist his wonderful blog, and enjoy!!
Mountain Rose Herbs Super store for purchasing bulk herbal supplies, essential oils, and carrier oils - plus, if you like teas and herb teas, you will LOVE the tea selection!
Karma Zain's Spiritual Supplies Karma Zain sells some of the best Hoodoo supplies on the internet! So many readers and clients have come to me gushing about her products that I HAD TO add her in here because I know you will not be disappointed in her products!
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Hoodoo Roots - Spirtual Supplies and Services Dara Anzlowar offers some amazing genuine hoodoo recipes, readings/spiritual services, and also some downright brilliant advice on how to work your own spells. Recommended to all! :)
Rufus Opus: Head For the Red One of the best minds in the occult world today, in my opinion, albeit Hoodoo (what I usually discuss) is not his topic of choice. This gem was one I discovered thanks to a client and I strongly recommend his blog to all who are interested in things suchas working with angels, demons, Enochianism, Golden Dawn and talismanic magic (there really is a nice mash of brain food to be had). Great stuff!
My computer is dying or almost dead. It's hard to get it to work for 20 minutes or so. :P I'm trying to get a computer guy in here in the next day or two, which should alleviate the problem at least long enough for me to pay my taxes then see if I can afford a new computer after the government financially ass-rapes me as they so love to (if you are a business owner, you know my pain.)
I apologize to anyone who this technical issue has caused any problem or inconvenience to. It was in no way intentional on my part. :/
It's time for another wonderful installment of questions you've asked me.
Q: I broke up with so and so, and s/he was right about how I failed them. I totally want to make it up to them now, and I keep telling them that, but they won't listen. S/He tells me to stop contacting her/him and is trying to ignore me. How do I do a spell to make them listen to me? I know if they know I will do what they want, that I can fix this!
A: For starters, since the above person is so big on how they can listen now, the first problem is...well, that person just isn't listening. Re-read that question. How is contacting someone who asked you to stop contacting them listening to them? Because if you're listening to them, you're not hearing them. Nothing is absorbing. Want to be a good listener? Do as they ask. Stop contacting them. All you are doing by NOT hearing them is being disrespectful to their needs, and not listening to anyone but yourself (so not listening to them.) That's all you're accomplishing.
If you do not take the advice to stop contacting them and asking them to just hear you, all you accomplish is making yourself be remembered badly. You're the self-absorbed ass that just does not get it. Because you really don't get it. Until you stop harassing that person who has asked you to please stop, all you accomplish is pushing them farther away.
You just feel me slap you on the back of your hand? That's me trying to make sure you stop acting like a panicked child, and that you listen to me, and DO NOT send that text. Because you're a listener, right? If not, you just keep pushing that ex you "love" away, because you can't control your douchebag response.
You will not be forgotten, but you will be remembered poorly if you can't control yourself. Immediately stop stalking your ex. No more FaceBook/social media spying. No more texts. No more calls. No more asking through shared friends what so and so is doing. We've been over this in here before.
Now, if you can manage to stop panicking and acting like a frightened animal and accomplish the first step of "stop acting when you're scared, hurt, and panicked," you might yet salvage your relationship with that person. However, you have to forgive yourself for whatever you did wrong. Think you can do that? I don't care if so-and-so forgives you, because it's not relevant to whether or not you forgive you. You can say it is, but it's not.
Once you forgive yourself, you will begin to heal. When you are not crazy with pain and fear, you will be able to think tactically also. That's a very important thing when it comes to reconciliation - tactics are your friend. Crazy hurt people don't have tactics. People who have come to terms with what happened, have forgiven themselves for their mistakes, and who have a still mind do have tactics. Choose which one you want to be.
Then start with reconciliation spellwork when you're ready. I find reconciliation targets are so much easier to bring back when the petitioner (person for who the spell is cast on behalf of,) is not acting like an obsessive and insane person - and the target more willing to believe the petitioner has changed for the better when the petitioner isn't acting insane too. So...want to be heard? Calm down, collect yourself, stop acting out, and THEN do some spells. It should work if you can do that.
Q: Is there a "best time of day" to do spells?
A: I personally use planetary hours when I can. Since those are changeable by when the sun rises, I can't give you a time of day that will always work - you would need to calculate it. While I do know of systems where dawn, noon, dusk, midnight, etc are how people gauge what time of day to spellcast, I personally prefer planetary hours over that system.
That said, if you're new to spells, learning to actually cast a spell might mean you need to stick a pin in "time of day" questions until you've cut your teeth on some simpler spells and are a bit more acquainted with the process. Basically, you've got to learn to make the entree before you start worrying if you should add a dash of salt to it. ;)
Q: I found a cool tarot app for my phone. Do think this works?
A: Probably not. A few friends and I actually picked up a few of these, and while they might help you learn how certain spreads were read, I didn't find any of the readings on the mark for anyone - in fact some were so ridiculous it was almost humorous. The opinion was shared by the others who tried.
See, tarot cards are a tool, but not one, in my opinion, that's ready right out of the box. :P Would that it were so easy to have "seasoned" cards. And yeah, they need to get seasoned to work at the peak capacity for the owner of the cards, which means they are treated in a manner to make them attached to only you. My method for seasoning a deck starts with me taking the brand-new, never-used cards out of the box and shuffling. And shuffling, and shuffling, and shuffling. Then after they've gotten a good 30-60 minutes of it, I put them under my pillow. Then I sleep on them (which I will continue to do so for at least a year.) The next day I shuffle the cards or hold them whenever I get the chance which I continue to do for months. They need constant contact. However, after the first 7-14 days of just shuffling my cards and holding them when they aren't under my pillow, I will lie out my first spread. The first question is often one I know the answer to, though in subsequent spreads I'll ask things I'd LIKE TO KNOW the answer to. I check how accurate it is. I then go back to shuffling, holding, sleeping upon. So, at least every other day after I've laid out the initial spread, I use them to read. I should be using them every day but it's hard to come up with questions I need to know anything about. I will continue to work these cards for AT LEAST six months before I consider them seasoned, though generally I prefer about a year. During this time, absolutely NO OTHER HUMAN is to come in contact with this deck. Ever. When I've finished seasoning them, I can dispose of my "working deck" be that the one I am using for work (if that's the one I'm replacing) or for myself (if that's the one I'm replacing.)
Some people burn their deck and let the smoke go into the new one once they are done seasoning their new deck. I can see how this is a useful trick if you liked your old deck's energies, but if you've found your old deck is not living up to your standards, I'd not add it's smoke to your new seasoned deck.
In fact, I have found if I over-use a deck for my clients, it starts to feel "dirty" because too many of my client's energies have permeated my deck...but that does (at least for me,) take a few years for the deck to get "dirtied" to a point I can notice it...perhaps because I don't let anyone handle my cards even after the seasoning process is complete.
Now, don't get me wrong, in a live reading, you would momentarily handle my cards. Of course rare is it that someone is in my home for a reading. I do most of my readings via phone. So, in many ways, by less molestation of my deck by alien hands (by which I mean hands which aren't mine, and not actually extra-terrestrial's hands,) my deck lasts longer. At least in my opinion.
So, after that lengthy discourse on seasoning a deck, please let me know how you will season that virtual deck in your phone the same way so it has the same energies as a physical deck has, because, as I said, a deck of tarot cards is not really a tool I consider to be ready for real use out of the box. It can still be played with if you don't season it, and hell, I can read a deck of playing cards in a pinch, but there is no comparison to a seasoned deck vs an unseasoned one when it comes to accuracy, in my opinion.
Q: Who will be the more effective person in casting my spell - an expert or myself? (Implied: the asker has little to no experience in spellcasting.)
A: The expert. Always. Anyone who is an expert at a thing will always do a better job than a novice, and will always be the more effective at whatever they are an expert at than a novice could hope to be. Anyone who tells you otherwise is probably trying to sell you spell supplies. ;)
I love that people want to learn spellcasting, and I encourage you to learn to do it for yourself. I think it's great that you want to learn to spellcast and to be a master spellcaster. That said, I've answered this very question several times in here, and the answer remains the same. Experts are always better than novices. :P You having an attachment to the situation is actually often an impediment and not something helpful as well. Why? Oh, how many times have we discussed thinking it to death, kiddos? ;)
Q: I do my spells slightly differently than you - am I doing them right?
A: There is a possibility you are and there is a possibility you aren't. If you're unsure enough to ask me, my stock answer would normally be that I do things how I do them from 25ish years of experience in spellcasting telling me that's the right way to do those things. If you base your methods on a similar level of experience, by all means, do them your way.
I'm not against trying new methods, and have heard other expert magician's methods of spellcasting which intrigued me, and which I tried (Jason Miller, for example, taught me some very interesting methods of casting a circle which I'd not seen before, and which I felt were very effective, it's just as a Hoodooist, it's rare for me to use a magic circle,) but that doesn't mean I'd go and change how I suggest you do the same stuff. In fact, if I start suggesting you cast magic circles in here, the Hermeticists finally won me over to their team entirely and can claim me as their own, instead of just the peripheral dabbler in Hermetics that they know me to be.
So, while I try new stuff whenever I get a chance, I do actually try to post things which are tried and tested, things I'm experienced with using. My experimental stuff might be interesting to some of you, but I'd rather post what I have made work on more than one occasion. I find that's the best way to help my readers to be successful. If your method differs slightly from mine, then I suspect you have a good reason for that (like that's what you were taught and how you practiced for a few years, or maybe you've cut your teeth enough to start making your brand of spellcasting tailored to you.) If you're just tossing stuff together like a jackass, though, and you're a noob, you probably want to read my semi-recent post regarding faking it til you make it. There is stupid for the case of being willfully stupid, and there really is no excuse for that. Don't throw cherries on something because you, like, totally, like, felt, like, that was going to help (and yet when that ingredient has no basis in being helpful in whatever spell you're trying to accomplish, it probably, like totally, is like totally a bad idea and stuffs, and like and stuff,) because I assure you, it's normally hubris -and not divine inspiration- when I hear things like that, and hubris makes for one painful teacher. ;)
Q: I know you probably get asked this frequently, but what are the mistakes you see people making the most?
A: With their own spells it's going all over the internet to locate spells to cast (many of which are of a dubious nature at best) of varying paradigms - many of which are not based on real spellcraft and were made up on the fly by some over-excited noob, - purchasing worthless ritual supply, using "review" sites, thinking their spells to death in a group setting, trying to use St Expedite for love, using "fast luck" on reconciliation, and people saying they are past the beginner stage when they have only done simple candle spells. And, of course, thinking their work to death has to be repeated. Stop thinking your work unto death, people. Staaaaaahhhp!
With purchasing work it's: using "review" sites, listening to people as ignorant as themselves for advice on who to work with, not paying attention to how the worker they solicit gauges whether or not they can work with the client (if they accept anyone and anything, then you're probably dealing with a fraud,) not doing actual research (which means not using Google in this case, or at least only using it to find educational pages like Wikipedia,) on how certain cultures and paradigms cast spells (because if you're not clueless on how it's done you won't be so easily fooled,) being rude and ill-mannered to a worker, thinking super expensive or super cheap are going to net good results (usually neither - you want someone in the middle,) and that some people still actually think California Astrology Association is legit despite that being hugely laughable and obviously false. :)
Q: Wait...if tarot cards are as old as I think they are, why do you say the card of naked Ryan Gosling didn't come up?
A: Because I was making an attempt at being humorous. Also, if that card did exist, my drool would have already made it unusable. I would drink that man's bathwater. ;)
Hope that has been educational, my dear occulties, and I do hope to get a spell up for you in the next few days as promised on my Twitter. :)
I know I promised a Questions You've Asked Me article by today. It's even sitting here almost finished and I've not touched it. I was in fact chatting with RO today when I got some terrible news. A dear friend of mine had passed away.
I would not say I am often an eloquent woman, and perhaps no words I can speak on her behalf would do her justice, but I do know she would not care if I was inelegant, but would rather care more than I would just say how I cared, and mean each word, so Shea, this is for you.
If I never told you that I knew you felt things more deeply than most of us, I'm sorry. It's one thing I always knew about you. It's something I always loved in you, and will continue to, always. You never once made me doubt you were on my side, and you always seemed to understand everything I told you. I have had some true friends, but only a few, and you were one, and one of the shinier gems I've found in this world.
Your love of anime, our shared fear of spiders (including the one that held us hostage so we could not ever get to graphic design class - ew furry jumpy spider!!!) all the times we got dressed up in my formal dresses and pointed and laughed at anyone who dare point and laugh at two ladies dressed so fine and so fabulously are all things I remember about you fondly. There were drinks, there were boys, there was late night dancing, and we were never too far off from our next adventure. I know there were sad times, times we cried or felt like giving up, but my memories involve wild shenanigans and so much laughter that the sad times are more of a shadow than a memory.
You are irreplaceable, indescribable, and so wonderful. I can never be thankful enough for having been someone important in your life, because knowing you has been a gift.
On an old photo in facebook, maybe a year or so old, you call me your beautiful angel. It would seem you got that one thing backwards. You left me first, so it is me who has a beautiful angel, and that, my beloved friend, is you.
Rest well, Shea-Shay. I love you more than words can express.
"But when you come and all the flowers are dying
If I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an 'Ave' there for me
"And I shall hear the soft heel tread above me
And all my rest will warmer, sweeter be
For you will kneel and tell me that you love me
And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me." -from Danny Boy
Since it will be asked of me, the above was taken when I was 22-23, and Shea is 21. We're at a bar called Jigger's that went out of business a long time ago but which was a truly kickass establishment. While I'm sure we probably are both drunk or getting there, it was a dark bar, and every picture of anyone I have seen from that place or personally have had for myself, everyone's eyes are as big as dinner plates. At Jiggers, they served strong cocktails in pint-glasses, so no one really had to do more than drink there. Your liver started crying the moment you started down the stairs. ;)
For those of you who know the day I had yesterday (entire-day-wasting-assclown-applicant,) this post is probably one you knew was coming. I think I actually post about one of these articles per year, lol. For those of you unfamiliar with me, or my work, etc., this might be helpful if you're looking to work with a professional spellcaster. Certainly, the professional spellcasters I know would probably like you to read this and keep it in mind. ;)
1. Be honest. Be forthcoming (not TMI level - we don't need to know sex positions you and your ex liked, but we do need to know some details,) about the problem. While there is such a thing as too much unneeded information (it really doesn't matter what outfits you both wore each day, or that his dog's name is Tiddles and you think that's adorable,) there is also way too little information. If you wrote me 2 sentences on what you want my help on, then I probably can't diagnose the situation well. There isn't one reconciliation spell for all problems. There isn't one love spell. There are thousands if not millions if not billions and or trillions of love and reconciliation spells. The same thing goes for money spells, controlling spells, curses, and move your neighbor spells. If you have a love problem, not all love spells will be suitable. Without having discussed the problem with you, I can't know which one/s to apply. The same is true for money, cursing, job spells, and basically any spell you can think of.
2. Read all the information the worker asks you to read before contacting them to see if you can hire them for work. Check out their frequently asked questions section. It's incredibly time-saving when all that information I spent hours writing out is something I don't have to rewrite personally for someone. I know my peers feel the same way. It also helps me know who is a responsible and trustworthy person - people who read directions, and help themselves are responsible people. People who don't follow basic (sometimes mandatory) instructions are the people who park in handicapped zones and block fire hydrants and then blame others when they get ticketed (so they are self-defeating assclowns, that make society worse for others.)
3. Remember there are a lot of people who do the same jobs we do, or who pretend to do the same job we do (the second kind is the fake kind.) ;) We are not going to be familiar with every business selling spells, ritual items, or occult-related-items/services, nor will we know their owners. So, if you had a bad experience with a place called "SomeonesSpellSiteThatSellsSpells.com," there is a chance that another worker knows nothing of that business. HOWEVER, if you come in hollering about being scammed by this person and that person, what often goes through a worker's mind is NOT that you've been scammed - it's that whatever happened to you (scam or not,) you're volatile, you may be impatient, you're eager to bad mouth anyone, and you are probably a risk as a client because, with an attitude like yours, we're probably going to pay for the previous person's mistakes with you - IF we accept your business. Furthermore, we may very well know who you speak of, we might be friendly with that person, which has it's own consequences.
I guess, to dumb this down (it needs to be) if you tell your new lawyer, all lawyers are lying, cheating, fakes - think they want to help? If you tell your doctor that all doctors you know are lying quacks and know nothing about medicine, think they want to help? If you go to McDonald's and tell them all the people who ever waited on you got complained about to the manager, think they want to wait on you? If you go into an architect's office and tell him or her that you've never seen a building designed right and from what you can see, his/her work could easily suck as well, think they want to help you build? The answer is no, all those people find you rude, and scary. They don't think you want to challenge them in a good way - they think you're contacting them to take out an old grudge on someone else using them as the substitute for that someone else.
And keep in mind, clients get reputations, too. If you're always acting awful to your workers, if you run all over the internet getting readings and spells from everyone, if you post on- or use- spellcaster review sites...you probably are already known, and not in a good way. For fictional and example purposes, let's make up a shop called "Brother Smyth's Handmade Ritual Wands and Bowls - if you post a review like "Brother Smyth was OK, he's pretty nice. I waved his wand that I bought (price was a bit high, I think, because handcrafted copper and semi-precious gemstones over organic applewood that's been chanted over 78 times, and inscribed with hermetic sigils burned into the wood at the right hour of Venus on a Friday when the moon is in Scorpio isn't really worth $309, right?)-" *Cat's note- that would actually be a fair and low price, at this writing, IMHO* "-but even right after waving it in the air, I didn't instantly get my ex back. I also tried holding it and wishing on it. Nothing. So, he's nice but his stuff isn't effective."
To translate that to what a worker or someone knowledgeable about the occult sees when they read that review, "I purchased a quality handmade item from a reputable occultist. I have no idea how to use it. I probably use a screwdriver to unclog my toilet and a plunger to put in screws, because that would equate my level of ignorance with occult tools. I paid a lot of money, and so since I can't properly use this occult tool, I blame someone else for my own ignorance on how magic or the occult works, and I'm going to ruin this small business's reputation. If you help me, I'll ruin you too, because I'm a thoughtless, ignorant knob." Now, the fictional Brother Smyth? He already knows who you are now. You reviewed a one-of-a-kind item, but your codename on that review site would not have helped, because he probably makes 2 sales a day at best. He might have shared your real name and contact info with others so they don't suffer bad reviews from your ignorance, and you just lost a good deal of real occultists who will sell you items or services. The fakes will still "help" though. Those "review sites" are public, and so...you just committed a huge faux pas.
Real spellcasters? We don't make tons of sales a day. Ten new spell sales a week would be so epic for me, that I'd probably have to shut down new orders for a week. If I handmade you an item described like the above, it's probably one-of-a-kind, so I'd know who you were. Also, the review you wrote (to other people probably as ignorant as one would have to be to think you wave a wand in the air and make wishes to use it,) will now impact that person's business forever. This fictional guy? He's making items that probably took him several days to make. He did it using traditional methods, using lots of prayer and using all his energy - and you just shit all over it to people, several of whom are likely as ignorant about how this stuff should work as you are, and called it ineffective. That's his sole source of income, and because someone ignorant can't properly use a tool, they gave him a poor review because he can't make a fictional wand that grants wishes just by waving it (no one I know can, because you don't use a wand like that.) Since a wand is just a tool, if it's not wielded by person who knows how to use it, it won't really be that effective. Even the finest ritual items and tools need will and intent, and the wisdom to be used properly. So basically, that review was like if you could take down the entire line of Craftsman tools just because you reviewed to a group that you bought a hammer from them once, swung it around in the air, and a new house didn't build itself when you did. Soooo, after that explanation, do you think a real occultist wants to work with someone like that, and do you understand why someone who behaves like the above fictional reviewer gets a bad client rep? ;)
4. Avoid the spellcasters offering health-related or body-related spells. This is a huge legal death zone (as in it's a very slippery-slope legally,) and I don't believe that I know anyone (at this writing) who is reputable who would take a chance and offer it for sale. Further there are no clear skin spells I know of, or boobs and dick growing spells I've ever heard of, lol, though they might exist. If a spellcaster is offering to make your skin clear up, your boobs or penis grow, your hair turn another color, or for you to lose weight, there is a strong chance they are fake. If they are selling you a full ritual (for any purpose, not just health) for under $20 (and I don't mean they will set a light which means light one candle,) they are probably not doing anything for you either. My materials cost way more than $20 just to do a full ritual. ;) So, avoid those spellcasters, but remember if you ask someone like me for a weight-loss spell, I'm probably going to tell you to go to the doctor and ask for diet advice, OR I'll say "I've found reducing my food intake and being more active helps me lose weight, so there's my weight-loss spell for you, and it's free. Exercise, eat less, and abracadabra, you will slowly lose weight." ;)
5. Remember, we work long, long hours, and deserve compensation for our time. At least 4-5 times a year, I get someone very inconsiderate in my inbox who demands I spend hours of free time helping explain how to cast spells to them - to be their own personal free spell-tutor. The thing is, that's a paid service. It costs money for a few reasons: 1.) I don't have unlimited free time. 2.) I don't particularly enjoy repeating simple basic concepts over and over especially when I've publicly explained several here. 3.) I don't do my job for free because I deserve to be compensated for my time like everyone else. 4.) I have people who can, will, and do pay me to do exactly what you're asking me to do for free, so I work for them instead. That's not an all inclusive list, but I think you're getting the point. ;) So, if you've just kept someone a few hours in consultation, and then decide you're not going to pay, you've just done the equivalent of getting your hair dyed and cut and not paying the hairdresser, or the same thing as getting your tooth filled and not paying the dentist, or even asking a specialist to come in and look at your mold problem, and then not paying him or her for the 2 hours spent on your house.
Every block of time you spend "chatting" with a professional spellworker or occultist that you are not compensating them for is a form of theft, IMHO. If my clients will get about three hours of my time typing (just includes the time I spend typing) for each spell they purchase (so this is their support and instruction and me answering their questions during the manifestation phase, - part of the spell price,) and you just had me spend 3 hours with you so I could discuss your problems with you when you didn't buy anything and have no intention of paying me for that time...do you think you're being abusive? Because you are if you don't intend to pay me or the person you're speaking with for those three hours. See number 3 for your new reputation. ;)
I know everyone wants something for free, but everyone also wants to be compensated for doing their job. Keep that in mind, be polite, don't take up a lot of your wouldbe spellworker's time, and we won't mind spending an extra five or ten minutes helping you, often for free. ;)
6. Remember, don't ask a question if you don't want the honest answer. If I'm in a reading, and you ask me if someone's ever coming back, and the answer is no? Don't kill the messenger. The answer was no, I was honest. Get a second opinion or pay someone to tell you what to hear, but don't blame me if what I picked up was the answer you didn't want to hear. That goes with spells, too. Do you REALLY want to know if I think a spell can make you a surgeon when you don't even have a high school degree? The answer is no, one spell can't do that. ;) DO NOT attack a worker for being honest to you. There are people out there that will tell you ANYTHING you want to hear, but if it sounds too good to be true, there is a good chance they are lying. I've had to tell people with problems that really did not seem so bad, but that I felt like I'd be ineffective in getting them what they requested (I just picked it up,) and couldn't help them for that reason, so it's not often even personal if someone tells you that they can't help you.
I hope this list has been helpful to clients and workers alike.
As I've said a trillion times (and even used an auto-responder to reinforce this,) for several years, that misscat@ email is just an email for forms to use to arrive to me. So when you write something to me via that email, you get a spam back telling you to fill out these forms if you want me to read your mail. If you don't fill out the proper form to contact me, you won't get a reply from me. I get a lot of email at this "misscat@(mywebsite).com" that never ever filters into my proper email. I delete it. People who don't follow instructions are no one I need to spend time with, so if you're waiting on a reply for an email you sent through misscat@ don't wait because no reply is on the way. I'd change it, but TypePad (the company this blog is published through) won't allow me to put a URL for my contact email so you can use the right contact page. Sorry. :/
If you sent me something via misscat@ and then didn't fill out the right forms, and are waiting for a reply, then stop waiting, because you'll never hear from me. ;)
Sometimes you want to know if I offer services. Yep, if you go to http://originalninjacat.com you'll see I've been offering services for ten years now.
Sometimes you want advice on spellcasting. If it's not directly relating to an article, and/or is much more than simple clarification you might want to purchase spell-coaching, which is me being your own personal tutor and helper learning how to cast that particular spell you wanted to cast, and yeah, it's a paid service. Please see my website to apply. Sorry, I don't have several unpaid hours to teach people spellcasting, but if you want to pay for my hours, I do have time for you. ;) If you're sad, I have this huge blog full of free spellcasting info (and even some relationship advice for my love addicts,) which is totally free of charge for you to read. I spent a lot of time on it, and I hope you enjoy what I've offered the public for free. However, if you would like something more specialized, that does cost money. :P
Sometimes you just contact me to see if you're an exception to one of my rules. No one is an exception to my rules. ;)
Sometimes you just want to write me in code. If u spel lik dis, u shld not xpect a rply. I do not speak text or bingo fluently, but then, no one over about 17 should. Write your words out like a grown person, please.
If you want to follow me on Twitter as many of you asked, follow me @CatAstrophied
*****THIS POST HAS MOVED DUE TO AN UNAUTHORIZED LINKING - Original date 12/15/13 - if you're using my links, please be sure you have my permission. If you don't have my permission to use my links, I will continue to change them until you get permission or get that you won't be getting permission. ;) Thanks! ****
Over the years, many of you have asked me where I get my super awesome "made at the right time, to exact specification" pentacles from the Greater Key of Solomon. While I've had more than one source, I have REALLY REALLY enjoyed working with RO's pentacles. He sent me a Jupiter pentacle, and 2 Venus pentacles recently. The day I received the Jupiter pentacle, I made 6x the sales I have been making recently. The specific Venus pentacles I purchased from him work sooo well, I'm surprised he's listing them for general purchase! I highly recommend these products to everyone (example pictured.)
If you're interested in purchasing your own, please click here!
As some of you might know, in many cases, I'm all for "faking it until you make it," to some degree. All of us our beginners at some point, and many of us will be book-taught or classroom-taught on some subject with our first moment of real-life application of said knowledge happening after the beginning of our cerebral-learning period. For example, if I wanted to repair a step on my stairs, I might first read a chapter in a book or an online how-to before I attempt to fix that stair. OR, I might just pull up the cracked/broken step, measure a board, cut it, and nail it where the broken step was WITHOUT consulting a book. I think many of us can agree there are things in life which might be done better WITH INSTRUCTION that can also often be competently done (albeit perhaps not the best done,) without.
So, using the example of the above "bad stair," what if I decided, with little to no woodworking experience, to rip down the whole stairway and replace it with a brand new stairway, made by myself, entirely by making it up in my head and applying my own knowledge of what this looks like by watching Mr NinjaCat's having made stairs and nothing else. (See, I've even seen someone do it before.) I have to be honest here...if I did that, I sure as hell hope none of you would use my stairway...or you'd probably be dead of a broken neck in my basement (the only stairs I can think of in my house that I could pull off or replace without gutting the house.) Sure, I understand to make 2 same size boards run diagonal at the same angle (being the same length,) and cut the same in a stair pattern. I understand where the boards go. I have seen this. However, with no help, I'm sure it would still be deadly. Or at least it would be ill-advised someone use my "Hahaha, I faked being able to be a carpenter long enough to nail this shit together and to my house" stairs.
OK, I know, I know, stairs are not the occult. They are not spellcasting. You want to know what in the sam-hell my stair talk has to do with spells. ;) Well, over the years, I've watched people do the equivalent of trying to do more than build a staircase without ever having done woodwork or carpentry, but even go so far as to comparatively attempt to build a HOUSE without having ever so much as built a spice rack, much less having the knowledge to make a broken lamp fixed in regards to spellwork. Guess what? Your honey jar? That's about as complicated as fixing a single stair, just replacing a board. That's good beginner work. HOWEVER, that super "easy" looking spell you found? To make it work, you better have the skill, or you might hurt yourself and others. :P Yeah, no, you can't just throw in that God or Goddess or spirit from x pantheon that you have a passing fancy for in with this being that you're calling in this spell. No, don't mix Erzulie and Oshun. That's naive and ridiculous. Uh, yeah, no, you've just told me I'm related to Woden and Jesus Christ - don't even cast spells, much less write books (true story, right now the craziest person with the least amount of magical ability possible, who used to tell me the craziest shit about magic that has nothing to do with real magic is right now a published author, and before you say "wasn't that a long time ago?" I assure you it was 4-5 at most that she was saying such nonsense - so make your book purchases carefully, too.) ;)
But humorously ignorant people aside, and obviously spiritually-and-magically-inept newbies trying to overdo it aside, my point here is that it's BETTER for you as a spellcaster to learn how to do the complicated-stuff right, rather than assume you have some natural gift for this type of work and it will all just come to you - you know you're an expert, after all, because you did a single candle spell once. :P I have a natural gift for this type of work and I've been studying the occult for 25 years, which is basically saying since I started going through puberty. I also had an interest in it as a wee one and still, even with my natural gift, I had to put my hours in studying and practicing. I studied, practiced, studied more, practiced more, etc daily for years (and I continue to practice and/or study on a daily basis,) to be where I am now. There is no class that will make you instantly-gifted. There is no such thing as graduating a class and becoming an able spellcaster or worker who could consider him or herself even "intermediate" level at working. There are a few OK classes out there - don't get me wrong - but when I graduated first-year spanish back in the seventh grade, there is no way I'd have been able to speak fluently to people down in Uruguay with my limited Spanish-language skills, and I took that class 5 days a week. How many times do you take your class a week? Is it at least 5 hours of class a week with homework that takes a few hours? Because if it's not, you're not even learning enough to be a first year "magic student" if such things existed. Let that absorb for a bit. :)
Or...let's think on how long it took you to learn arithmetic. Were you capable of doing division on fractions (with no calculator, of course,) by age eight? If not, why? I mean, you'd been learning basic math since at least first grade. Isn't that at least a whole year to learn elementary knowledge? And you were studying for hours a day then, which is more than your magic class you're taking now - you must have had some pretty "advanced" math skills if you had that many hours of learning and your magic class is going to make you advanced in as many hours.
Could you spell several words over ten letters long by age eight? Did you know what to defenestrate is? (It's to throw someone out a window.) If you just learned that now, why? I mean, you've been speaking English all of your fucking life, right (er, let's just pretend you have, heh)? Oh, because they didn't teach you in school? But there are all sorts of places to learn words, so why didn't you know that one? I mean, here you are, an adult, and you don't know all the words in the English language? Why? If you had so many hours to learn them, and whole parts of school were dedicated to broadening your vocabulary, why are you unfamiliar with words like verisimilitude and why do you not know "redundant"* doesn't mean really mean repetitive but superfluous? Because if your magic class can make you an expert or advanced or even an intermediate magician, then years of vocabulary should make you like the English language dictionary, and you should be familiar with what all common words (even commonly misused ones) mean - because if one class makes you an expert, then, why aren't you? ;)
The point I'm trying to make IS NOT that everyone here reading is a meat head. ;) It's actually that regardless of who you are, to become an expert magician, you will PROBABLY need about 10 years of work at least. AT LEAST. No single class is going to change that unless the class is so frequent that it's like taking a college level course, and even then, you'd only be "This Professor's Magic 101" level because magic is such a gigantic topic that you won't be "Ceremonialist 101" or "Hoodoo 101" in almost every case of every class I've seen out there. Your "100-levels" (in the USA 100-200 level courses are your university basic levels for Freshman/1st year and sophomore/2nd year, where you need to take several each year to get to your upper-level learning,) would need to be you taking a few of these classes every day, assuming you had the basics (a grade school k-12 education,) every day for at least the previous 6-7 years before arriving at magic school. Oh, and lets assume you have live time in the altar room with the professor at least weekly, too.
Oh, you didn't have any of that? Oh, it was a thing where someone sent you a mail every week? OK. That's fine. It's a good starting point. But just because you graduated someone's class, that doesn't mean you're even near my level of knowledge or the level of knowledge of several of my peers. You're still a beginner.
Can we agree on that? I know some online teachers won't, but the rest of us? Can we agree that if you study something a lot, you'd at least need a few years studying it and practicing it before anyone even thought you were out of the beginner stage?
I say this because recently I've been getting a lot of this in my inbox: "Hi Ms NinjaCat, I've been practicing spells forever, am an expert and gifted, and I want a giant fix-everything spell. I'm not afraid of calling spirits. I worked with Hecate a few times. Oh, and I like Isis." OK, so you read a few books once? ;) You're not an expert. Readers, can you identify how easy it is to see this person is not an expert?
If you were an expert, you'd know there is no such thing as a giant fix-everything spell. While I can assume you might have worked with some God-heads, I also don't believe you can just splat in some Grecian or Egyptian deities willy-nilly and call that "calling a spirit." If you've ever called an inhuman spirit, and not had a pants-shitting (or nearly-pants-shitting) experience, then you're in for a surprise when you really do call one. If you can control it. If you understand the dangers of that (cuz if you don't, don't call me crying at 3am that something disembodied keeps biting you.) And you've "worked with" Hecate and Isis. Define this to me. Did you do a regular devotional to either? Daily? Weekly? Did you have an altar set up to leave offerings to either? Did you regularly pray to either? What was your relationship with these beings?
If your answer was "None really. I called them using this Llewellyn book to watch over my love mojo on this one case, and in the other to make sure I got this specific job, but I followed the instructions, and my spell worked and stuff."
So, if I go back to the beginning of my article with me trying to build stairs. The person who "read a book" and "called Hecate and Isis" comparatively just ripped the stairwell off, cut some boards kind of right, nailed other boards to them, and now I have a deadly, crooked, creaking, about to fall off and fall-apart staircase. But you're an expert staircase maker, because you read a book once, right? Right. That's what many of you self-professed "experts" (and no, not you real experts, haha,) in my inbox are doing magically. You're inept, you're obviously not an expert, and the worst thing you're doing is faking to yourself that you can do this. No, some light candle spells and a honey jar is not expert work. Throwing in cherries because it "felt right" when cherry bark, and cherries are not at all correspondent to your working is not you being inspired by spirit. It's probably you thinking you're so magical that you fart fairy dust. I'm a pretty magical person - I don't fart fairy dust (unless I eat 2lbs of glitter, and then it looks like fairy dust,) so I'm pretty sure you don't either. I'm psychic, I've studied psychicism, and I can tell made up crap from real experiences...if you haven't ever experienced psychicism or studied it, you do a bad job trying to pretend you have. Like if 5 disembodied voices/beings follow you around 24/7 and you see them 24/7, you might want to consult a psychiatrist, not a psychic.
"Fake it til you make it" is meant for people who are on the precipice of being what they want to be. It doesn't work it for someone who has a high school education and is doing nothing more than dressing as a brain surgeon and telling themselves they are one, and operating on people. Nope, "Fake it til you make it," might apply to the resident learning brain surgery - the one who did years and years of school and study to get there, not to the person who saw a Hollywood movie where people did brain surgery. So "Fake it til you make it" does not make a noob who has done a few honey jars and single candle spells into an expert. Reading a book once won't make you an expert. Taking a class once won't make you an expert. You can't fake that much - you're too ignorant. We all would be too ignorant with so little learning and practice under our belts.
I'm not trying to be discouraging - I want people to learn to cast their own spells, I want them to learn about the occult; - but for goodness' sake, if you're not an expert, don't pretend to be one. It actually makes you less of a moron to admit you're just starting out, or that your skills are novice. It helps you for you to admit to yourself that you still have lots to learn, because then you won't have as many problems that the grossly hubris-tic students of the occult often have (see above, pants-shitting spirit-raising,) when they didn't expect said problems. :P People would rather teach a person who wants to learn, not the pretend know it all (see above, I'm related to Jesus and Woden?? no, that's stupid.) I would rather you start out with "I know nothing. I did a few candle spells once, so I have that much experience under my belt, but when it comes to setting up an altar to a deity, I'm kind of clueless," than pretend to be an expert. It's very visible when you're not. :P
There is no shame in being a beginner. None. We all had to be beginners once. We all had the NOOBIEST NOOB MOMENTS. Right now, any real spellcaster or magician who's the real-deal has more than one "NOOBIEST OF THE NOOB" stories - I know this, because I've exchanged a few, and some of them are downright scary and hilarious at the same time. Now, I understand - if you were 18 and just starting out on your higher education, you'd feel no shame saying "I'm going to college/university to learn meteorology," but if you didn't get that interest until you were 30, would you tell people you were a meteorologist because you're an adult and don't want to be thought of as a novice? I mean, you have no school in it, but you like to watch the weather. Yeah, so you're not a meteorologist...not even close. ;) That's what you're doing when you pretend to be an expert, or even intermediate-, spellcaster and you're not. It shows. You're not faking it til you make it. You're being an assclown. No expert ever got to be an expert by not ever being a beginner. There is no shame in being a beginner. There is no shame in being annoyed that getting past the beginner stage is a longer time-investment and greater effort than you'd hoped. ;) There is no shame in falling on your face because you attempted something a bit more advanced than you were ready for - the shame comes when you don't admit you made the mistake or when you pretend you're some sort of expert that you're not - especially if you then mis-teach others with your NON-expert advice.
So, I guess my long, rambling diatribe is summed up best with be happy to learn, know yourself, and try to avoid putting on airs. If you get to the beginner stage, you'll wow the noobs. If you get to the intermediate stage, you'll wow the beginners. If you get to the advanced stage, you'll wow the intermediates, and if you get to the expert stage, you'll be wowing everyone. It's an earned thing. It takes work to get there. But even the fact that you're investing the time and effort to try to start at the beginning to learn this stuff? That's something to be proud of. If being an expert in anything was so easy to learn, it wouldn't be a valuable thing to be an expert, so be prepared for a long road of study and practice...and start "Faking it til you make it," when you're really close to being able to do whatever, you've put your learning in, you've applied your knowledge, but this is the first time you've PRACTICED something is when to "fake it." However, if you have to look everything up in books, can't tell me 10 uses for just the color of gold in spellcraft off of the top of your head in under 20 seconds, or what Monday is useful for if using days of the week, etc - you're not outside of the beginner, or perhaps even noob, stage. It's just what it is. Sorry if that's disappointing, but anything worth having (including having the "expert" title in a field of knowledge) is something earned through hard work.
Sorry for rambling on and on,
*While some people do use this as being repetitive, suchas "Cat said spell so often, the term became redundant" the actual meaning:
1. surplus to requirements; unnecessary or superfluous
2. verbose or tautological
3. (Business / Industrial Relations & HR Terms) deprived of one's job because it is no longer necessary for efficient operation he has been made redundant
4. (Engineering / General Engineering) (Electronics) (of components, information, etc.) duplicated or added as a precaution against failure, error, etc.
[from Latin redundans overflowing, from redundāre to run back, stream over; see redound]
Q: I've heard people do not use pure essential oils, but dilute strongly with another oil to avoid skin irritation. Is this true? If so, what oil do I dilute with?
A: Well, to be fair, the main concern many people "diluting" their own brand have is cost-savings, and not skin irritation, because even a half ounce of 100% pure essential oils is not cheap - not to add the smell would likely be mighty powerful. That said, while, arguably, something like Cleo May is more of a "magical perfume," most oils are anointing oils and not meant to be worn like a perfume. Would you dress yourself in Black Arts oil? I should hope not. I don't even handle my Black Arts oil with my bare skin, and NOT because I'm concerned about skin irritation. ;) So, many of the ritual oils for love smell nice, but technically they probably aren't meant to be a perfume, but an oil for ritual work. HOWEVER, some of these essentials cost their weight in gold, AND they smell super strong. Diluting the smell can be essential to one's nose. If you're selling the item, skin irritation is a concern. Someone's always wearing the love stuff as a perfume (usually without putting it on with any focused intention like they should be,) so many manufacturers of the good stuff will formulate it to smell yummy and be skin-safe.
As for what people use... if I am using a carrier oil, it's something which will have a corresponding vibration with what I'm trying to accomplish. For example, I use mineral oil for dark work. I have used hempseed oil as a carrier for money work, and it worked nicely. I know some people use almond oil with a preservative. I've used grapeseed oil with a preservative. Jojoba is a favorite of some people with love work. You want a low-or-no-scent oil for your carrier oil. I do find olive oil smokes A LOT, and so if I'm going to use it (I usually won't,) I will use it with peace or blessings spellwork.
Q: I was told to do a ritual bath, but I really don't want to get out of bed at dawn and/or throw my bathwater outside. It's a deal killer. What can I do?
A: While I would go so far as to say the argument would be if you didn't care enough to do those things, then you don't want the very thing you'd be bathing to bring to you (or to be rid of the very thing the bathing is taking off of you,) I'd also say if you can even take a ritual bath at any time and you let it go down the tub drain, that's probably better than doing nothing. :P Again, you should really do it as prescribed (ritual bathing is super awesome,) but just taking the bath itself is SUPER HELPFUL.
Really the tub water isn't so bad. I have stood in a large washbucket in my tub before -and it was easy to carry, just a few gallons of water. You can also make the bath in a bowl (I do it by using a tea-ball to hold the herbs,) and bathe using a cloth dipped in the solution. That way, you're not carrying a laundry basket of bathwater outside when you're done. ;)
Q: Tell me something super secret about spellcasting only you know!!!???!!!1!
A: I should probably add a "ZOMG" on that. ;) Hmmm, I assume (perhaps wrongly,) that this isn't something you want to know that only I know, because that would be a personal thing. ;) However, I can tell you something probably not that many people that are not you know. :D Rice paper dissolves in water. It's incredibly useful for influencing people. For example, to influence a lover, write a command in blood (generally from the right index finger,) on rice paper. Dissolve this in the lover's drink, and have them drink it to try to sway them to do as you say. Keep repeating as needed. Rice paper is sometimes used on cake's for decorative purposes, so it's entirely edible.
So this has been a question in my inbox, therefore I decided to show some images and I hope this is helpful. :)
Start by punching 5 holes in the top of a candle with a sharp object. For dark work, I use an old screwdriver. For positive work I use a knitting needle, seen here above.
Sprinkle lightly with proper herbs (this will depend on what sort of spell you are trying to cast.) Add 1-3 drops each of the ritual oils you're using for your spell. Hold the candle and try to envision what change you desire it to bring to your life, trying to mentally send this into the candle, and/or say a prayer or statement of your intention while you keep the mental image of what you want the candle to accomplish in your mind's eye.
You've now blessed and dressed a seven day candle for yourself. You may pat yourself on the back if you'd like. :)
PS- Don't forget to make a name paper, and to say a chant when the candle is lit. A simple all-purpose candle burning chant you can use would be "Candle of power, burning bright, create my desires for me tonight. Candle's flame, candle's fire, bring to me that which I desire:" (herein state what you want.) "This spell shall not reverse, nor place upon me any curse - as is my will, so be it!" and then allow the candle to burn out.
Every time this time of year rolls around, it seems some nasty behaviors start. So, if you're a client working with a professional spellcaster, please keep in mind the following points.
1. Remember your worker has a life outside of work, and during this time of year, we might be out buying gifts or making holiday plans, too. This is true any time of year (well, perhaps not the holiday plans, heh,) but it seems quickly forgotten in December. I find many people "forget" my business hours (and ask for readings at ridiculous hours,) or that wouldbe clients find no problem getting angry with me for not being around on a Saturday night at 10p (which is my day off, and definitely outside of regular business hours.) While I'm sorry so many people have their schedules mixed up this time of year, I'm in the same boat. ;) I have guests, I have to get to the post office, I have to remember to cook a double recipe of cookies, etc etc. - AND I need to work 12 hour days five days a week just to get everything done at this job. So, while I feel you on the "compressed time schedule being stressful" part, that doesn't mean I can just change my schedule (nor should you expect any professional spellcaster or professional anything to do so,) to work around your current schedule. Further, I might have limited times for availability merely for having to take care of my outside-of-work life. Getting mad at your worker (or me if that's one in the same) for having a life out of work isn't helpful to anyone. :P
2. Your late payment could mean that bill we can't pay, or that gift someone isn't getting. Also, this is definitely NOT the time of year to try to get free services. Many professional spellcasters are far from rich, and this time of year, the offerings get even more spare as people spend on gifts for their loved ones rather than on services. With the knowledge that many of us professionals are already working with a fraction of our usual payments, it's key you bring payments in on time, and also don't waffle about, wasting time for things you have no intention of paying for. Every spellcaster I know groans every time we get an email implying we're to teach - for free, of course - some ridiculously complicated spell to a person who thinks a one candle spell is enough practice to be an "intermediate spellcaster." This is almost always accompanied by some indignant drivel about how could we be so money-hungry and fucked-up as to imply we should get paid to do our job, which includes paying for private-tutoring on how to cast spells. My goodness, some of the high and mighty bullshit I've read would make some of your heads spin. Apparently I'm Judas, Hitler, Rasputin, and Saddam Hussein all in one because I have asked someone who took 45 minutes of my time up to please compensate me for the time I'd spent DOING MY FUCKING JOB FOR FREE if they wanted me to continue instructing them on how to cast their own spell. Furthermore, "setting lights" costs money, and people will just ask for someone to "set like five lights" for them. Hmmm, so you wanted me to spend $25-$30 on you during the spare-est time of year when you've not bought anything since July? I don't think so. ;)
3. The person responsible for keeping holiday depression away is yourself, and not your worker. I see this all too much: "I just wish so and so were here for the holidays, and if s/he isn't, I will be too depressed to go on." You know, speaking from experience, I have a few holidays with several bad memories attached. I don't flip out every year and force myself to re-experience them. Christmas has some wonderful (got a train set as a kid! got drunk and got rug-burns when my then-boyfriend and I got Christmas-smashed on asti and booze! got an iPad!) memories, and some awful (Christmas throwdown, the early 2000's "poor Christmas," let's break up on Christmas,) memories, too. Pretty much every holiday I can think of that people really celebrate (so not just get a day off of work, but get together and celebrate,) has both good and bad memories associated with it. The way I manage to just EXPERIENCE THE HOLIDAY, that is, rather than RE-EXPERIENCE A GOOD OR BAD HOLIDAY EXPERIENCE, is to reasonably assume each year that experience will be different, and to just deal with it as it happens. This is really easy. For example if I know my friend Billy-Bob (who doesn't exist, but for example purposes,) who I've seen every Christmas for the last 20 Christmasses won't be around this year because he had a debilitating stroke, and no longer lives locally, NOT DWELLING ON HIS ABSENCE will prevent me from making myself depressed. Or, if I had a particularly fun Christmas with an ex (and, gentlemen, a few of them were very fun, and thank you,) but this year is looking boring and not full of sexy fun-times, I can still be happy by trying to keep Christmas fun with the people who will be around.
If none of you got that, it's a pretty direct bit of advice that a holiday is fun regardless of who's there, if you just try to make it fun. If the holiday carries a bad memory (and hey, I have some shitty Christmasses-past myself,) then try to embrace the positives and enjoy it as much as you can. That's how to keep away the holiday blues.
4. Avoid booze-fueled diatribes... Tis the season of office parties, and I find sometimes also those of booze-soaked nonsensical rants in my inbox. No, not from me. ;) I enjoy a good Stolichnaya but if I'm drinking more than 2, I'm not working. ;) If you've imbibed too many holiday spirits (see that pun I made there?) perhaps you should make sure you stay OFF your smart phone and avoid contacting your ex, your ex before your ex, your significant other (if you're thinking of saying anything very controversial or rude,) and your spellcaster until you've sobered-up.
5. Keep in mind, many people are stressed during the holiday season, and for that reason try to give everyone a bit more patience. I remind myself this very thing every morning. I remind myself this when I got to a restaurant, or a shop, or call customer service this time of year. Why? Because so many people are on edge or cranky from their stress. I find everyone appreciates it - I know I do. ;)
***Photo credit - I found this roving around in memes on facebook but if it's yours and you want credit, or if you want me to remove it please let me know! I will give you credit and/or remove it immediately upon request. I think it's hilarious and adorable. ;)***