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THIS POST IS ****FEATURED**** AND NEWER POSTS MAY APPEAR BELOW. :)
I've been reworking a new pricing system, and the bad news is prices on spell services will be changing (and not costing less, bleh, I'm afraid prices will be going up,) and it's looking like I'll have to do away with 30 minutes of free email consultation (because unfortunately too many people were abusive with that,) BUT before I am forced to raise prices and move away from free consultations, you can STILL GET THE OLD RATES UNTIL JULY 25th! :)
Please contact me if you're interested in services at my current rates.
DO NOT APPLY FOR SERVICES IF YOU ARE NOT READY TO MAKE YOUR PURCHASE ON OR BEFORE JULY 25th. All purchases made after that time are subject to the new price schedule.
Recently a client asked me if there was anything she could do about a malicious gossip who was ruining her reputation at work. Apparently the gossiping party liked drama or playing people against other people - I think many of us know the type: smiles in your face, compliments you, is sweet to you, then runs behind your back and tells people how you're somehow mean, dishonest, or etc. The gossip was ruining my client's reputation, and for no good reason other than the gossip felt like eliminating my client's presence at work (and her good standing with her employer) might get the gossip ahead in the work place. Ugh. :P
I had posted this spell some time ago about gossips. The linked spell is probably going to be enough for your average gossip, and you don't need to get too severe. That said, I do truly hate people who think calumny is innocent or harmless. Sure, I'll joke with old friends "let's have a gossip," but when I say that, it's usually "Let's share news about people we both don't get to see very much," and it's never "Let me make up lies and stories about someone so that you think I'm cool." A true gossip just spreads lies and half truths, and often so much to the detriment of who they speak of, that the damage can be irreversible.
If someone is telling lies about you to such an extreme that your job or marriage is in danger, you might also try the following:
You will need:
A personal item from the target's head (preferably focusing on the mouth, like a used napkin, or something with their spittle on it. Be creative - licked envelopes are very helpful here, as are old toothbrushes.)
An item to bore a hole in the coconut (such as a hole-borer)
The remains of at least one stinging insect or arachnid (I'm quite fond of wasps in this situation - please make sure this is dead, and don't get yourself stung. A dessicated remain of one of these found in a light fixture works great, but be sure the stinger is still on the animal.)
Inflammatory confusion powder
A black "Sharpie" marker
Glue (any old glue usually works)
Something to seal the hole with*
Four black candles - just regular taper candles or tea-lights work. If you can't find four SAME SIZED candles in black (this is actually incredibly easy, and you're being a bad rootworker if you can't find this...you need to be creative and a problem solver to be a rootworker, and yeah, I'm giving you a "look" right now, if you're like "Cat, I can't find this!! Wahhhh!!!" and no, it's not a nice look, hahahaha,) then use red candles, again in the same size and shape.
This isn't a nice spell at all. Be sure you're prepared to damage the gossip. Before you ask, yes you need the personal effect mentioned, and if you write me asking for a substitution, I will tell you to go pound sand up your butt...which isn't a substitution for the item from the head, but will at least teach you to stop asking me for substitutions when the substitution for any ingredient is to find a spell that you have all the ingredients to. ;)
Bore a hole in your coconut, and drain the milk from it. Using your sharpie, draw a face on the coconut to represent your target, using the hole you have bored as the mouth of the person's face. You don't have to be Rembrandt - a simple face with something that has an upside-down 7 for a nose and 2 circles with pupils for eyes, etc., will work just fine. On the opposite side from where you've bored the hole and drawn the face, write the name of the target, for example "John Q. Sample" and put their birthdate under it (ex. July 23, 1984.) If you are unsure of the birthdate, you can substitute this with the target's mother's full name (ex "born of Jane Q. Doe Sample).
From this point in my instruction, I will use "NN" to be significant of the target's FULL NAME. I will use YN to be significant of the petitioner's full name (person the spell is cast on behalf of, or yourself if doing the spell for yourself).
Take your tin foil, and tear from it a piece perhaps 4 inches by 4 inches (bigger as needed is fine,) so you have a square. Glue your witness item (the personal item from the head of your target - if you're using a toothbrush from this person, just a few bristles is great,) into the center. You may wish to allow this to dry for a bit. Once the glue has dried, using your sharpie, write, in a circle around the item, and as small as possible: "NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me" (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) "I send back at thee." Speak these words as you write them. Now fold your corners of your foil inwards, so that a reflective surface is against the personal item. Remember, I'm a Hoodoo, and fancy doesn't really mean much to me, but effective does, so I'm going to reassure you, even if it looks like you're doing a half-assed job of wrapping a piece of gum back up or something, your main aim is to get that reflective surface (the shiny side of the tin foil) as flat as possible (on your first fold in, folding AWAY from yourself) and as reflective as possible against the witness item...it isn't to make something pretty that your mom will want to hang up on her wall or something. ;) You are going to fold the other three sides in gently using the same folding AWAY from yourself motion until you have all the shiny sides of your tin foil folded inward.
Now, I've put some images here below, since I hate stupid questions and these tend to prevent those. ;) As you can see, I've folded a piece of tinfoil using the flat side, and using the corner. I personally prefer using the flat side for this method, but either works, just fold AWAY from you rather than towards.
Once you have folded up your tinfoil place this inside you coconut, saying "NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me" (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) "I send back at thee," as you do so.
Crush your stinging insect (again, this should be dead already, ahem, so don't be a big meanie and catch a fresh one only to complain it stung you when you smooshed it,) so that it is in small pieces and mix this into about 2 tablespoons of inflammatory confusion powder. Place this inside your coconut, saying "NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me" (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) "I send back at thee," as you do so.
Drop your pins, nails, and needles into the coconut saying, "NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me" (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) "I send back at thee," as you do so.
Remember, keep the image of your target in your mind's eye while you say your chant. If you're having a hard time keeping an image in your head of this person, you may want to place an image of them on your altar or work space.
*Now, seal the hole in your coconut. You might use a cork, you might use some wood glue mixed with a little inflammatory confusion powder...I even know another rootworker who seals nasty coconut spells with dog-shit mixed with a few other things, but I personally can't stomach that. ;) The idea is to keep that hole permanently (or nearly permanently) sealed. Tape will probably not work in this instance, so if you're totally lost as to what to do, cutting a small piece of wood, and liberally gluing it into place might do just fine. Let that seal set up - I'd let it set overnight, but as long as it's not going to fall apart, it's sealed.
Now for the fun part. >:)
Place the coconut on your altar. Have it so it looks like a head sitting up. If you need to prop it up (it might roll,) I recommend using some small stones - especially if you can get them from the target's property. If you can't get them from the target's property, find them either at a tavern/bar with a bad reputation (so any place known for violence, bad people, or lots of badness and debauchery,) or from a street on which traffic accidents are common...especially a crossroads with lots of accidents. Mwhahahahaha. If it won't roll, then don't worry about the stones to prop it up.
Now place your four candles at each of the cardinal points of the directions (North, East, South, West,) and most phones have a compass in them now, so this should not be difficult for you to determine. Make sure your candle is dead center between these candles. Light the candles in a clockwise motion. I usually start with the Eastern candle first.
Without burning yourself (seriously, be careful and don't stick your arm too close to the candle flames,) place your hands on either side of the candles so that your hands would be maybe 3-4 inches from the sides of the "head" and envision the coconut as being your target's head as you say: "NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me" (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) "I send back at thee." Herein add whatever else you feel needs to be added (that they suffer the torment they have brought you, that they be the victim of their own calumnies, etc, being as direct as possible. I like to cuss up a storm, so I might say "NN, as you have spoken ill at me, now your shit-covered tongue breaks out and is pierced with a thousand fiery needles. You stupid fucking cocksucking cuntfaced little liar, everyone sees you for who you are, and the more shit you talk about me, the more you are hated and reviled by all who but pass by you." Now, that's just me, I get pretty nasty. You add in what you want, just make sure it is full of venom! :) When you're done speaking, say ""NN, all words you speak against YN, all actions you take against YN reflect back on to you. NN all harm and darkness you would send at me" (or YN if for someone other than yourself,) "I send back at thee. Any time henceforth that I shake this head, your I enflame your brain with madness, and send all of your lies and calumny back at you that all who hear it believe it to be about you! As is my will, SO BE IT!"
Allow the candles to burn out. Shake the coconut with your hands whenever you want to give that person a good kick in the mouth. They will already be suffering for what they're saying, even if you don't shake it, but this will amplify the effect.
Now, I take no responsibility for whatever stupidity that you use this for, but I strongly caution against using this spell lightly, or against someone who is magically more adept than you are. It is not a nice spell. There are real consequences. Mis-use it at your own risk. I honestly would only recommend it's use if someone's calumnies against you are about to cost you your job, your marriage, or something equally as dear. It would be completely irresponsible to use it because someone called you a bitch or something. ;) Keep in mind to pick your battles wisely, and that it's often the best idea to use the least amount of force needed. You're going to do whatever you want to do, but as with all spellwork, I always recommend acting cautiously, wisely, and justly. Ethics are never a bad thing. If you're just really pissed right now, sleep on it, and see if you can go with the lighter working I linked to above first to see if that stops the gossip before you take out the big guns. Just a bit of friendly advice. ;)
If you need to contact me rather than leaving a comment, please do.
Now, I know I'm going to get some butt-hurt people, and so before I begin, I'm going to start with yes, I do understand it's hard to meet people sometimes, and/or yeah, sure I've heard "everyone's doing it." Good for everyone, and let me channel the spirit of everyone's mother into my person and croak out in true medium fashion "Well, if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you jump, too?!" Did I just sound like your mom? Good, I was hoping I did. ;) Because your mom has a point, and so do I - just because everyone does a stupid thing, doesn't mean you should, too. I do stupid things sometimes, and I don't want you to imitate my stupidity when I do those things. ;) So, can we all agree that going with the crowd is not a good reason for doing something? We can? Good.
Alrighty, so you may be angry with me for saying "You're asking for trouble" if you use dating sites and apps. I can already see the 10 people who had a good experience (out of the 2,400 in my Rant Room,) raising their hands to object. Well, you know, being a statistically insignificant percentage (and I'm not saying there aren't a lot of relationships that started on dating sites/apps, I'm trying to say "SUCCESSFUL" relationships from them are statistically insignificant, in my experience, and I DO deal with a lot of people in relationships, ahem,) does make you unique, and being unique is awesome, but if by the grace of God you managed to find and marry and be happy with someone from a dating site, then your relationship is like finding a unicorn, and good for you. :) It's the rest of you I'll be addressing here...
So, for starters, let's ask ourselves why do people use dating sites/apps?
1. They genuinely are introverted or lead some lifestyle which makes it difficult for them to be around others frequently, can't meet people, and this makes it easy for them to meet others.
2. They just want to get laid and are willing to ask anyone on the internet if that person is interested.
3. They just want to get laid and are willing to manipulate others into thinking it's love to get this sex from them, which they have found a treasure trove of endless "willing" victims.
4. They find themselves hugely unattractive, but like how they look (add number) years ago, and this is the easiest way to convince someone they still look that way before actually meeting them in person, then SURPRISE!!!
5. They are scary-ass desperate for someone to love them. Stalker desperate, maybe. In fact, probably. Avoid the desperate at all costs.
6. They have huge emotional problems which are easily concealed when they are not face to face with someone.
7. They have huge emotional problems which are only apparent after getting to know them for a few weeks...which is why they can't find a partner in their pool of friends.
8. They have some sort of ridiculously bad life issue that all of their friends know about, but strangers would not, but which would be a "deal-killer" for most of us. (I will also put that they might be married to someone and hiding that on a dating site, which I've unfortunately heard tell of in more than one of my clients' recounting of a bad dating site experience.)
9. They are badly socialized in some way.
10. Other (something bad, probably).
Now, of all of the above, only the first one is acceptable, really, when looking for a partner. ;) And, to be fair, this is a percentage of people who use these sites and apps - people who are not really super abnormal freaks. However, if you look at the rest of the reasons, more than one is pretty fucking scary and bad, others are "Well, if so-and-so and I were super close anyhow, maybe I'd date them" (but you're not close, this is a stranger) which probably means the largest percentage of users of these sites and apps are to be avoided.
So, - at least as I see it - when you use these sites/apps, you're basically inviting a large amount of people who are probably not good choices to choose you. You're inviting disaster.
But to add insult to that injury, from Erika's tale, you're also chancing that these folks might find out your personal info, and start contacting you via social media without your permission. In fact, some people leave phone numbers on social media. Imagine being a pretty attractive person (which she is,) leaving your number up where people desperate for attention or affection (I'm not saying she left her number up, just saying what if,) can get to it, all the while thinking you're available. Holy crap, talk about baiting your hook for stalkers. :P
Now, as someone who counsels people on relationships frequently, I assure you that my experience (even if vicariously through my clients and some friends, since I'm not the type of person who ever felt at all interested in using the internet to get dates from people I wouldn't know otherwise,) has been that dating site relationships tend to be very tenuous, and often one partner will engage a new partner on the dating site before leaving the last. It's sort of like a vending machine to some people. They get a bit bored with one, and go back and find a new one, assuming (probably not too wrongly,) that there is an unlimited supply of hopefuls. Or they find the person has huge and scary abandonment issues, socialization issues, stalking issues, or other emotional issues. Or the date that shows up is 20 years older than their profile picture. Or they just get solicited for sex.
This is unfortunate, but the price one pays for using the internet to get dates. :/ Don't get me wrong, I love the internet, but it's sort of like a scary dark corner at a carnival - sure you might find some awesome thing, but you're just as likely to get knifed by a carny if you're not careful...and when you use dating sites, you're doing the equivalent of getting fall-down drunk and taping $1000 bills to your head, and going in that scary dark corner with a carny, and then complaining you got knifed. :/
For every "success" story from dating sites that I've heard (which is now, after about ~15 years of hearing stories about them, and amounts to a grand total of FIVE out of at least a thousand,) there are far too many horrific stories (which the truly-horrifying must be at least a half of them,) and several incredibly disappointing or just mildly disturbing stories that often skew the person attempting to use these sites and apps emotional well-being for some time to come (a good percentage.)
So, my dear ones, as many of you come to me looking for love, I will pass on the advice to only use dating sites/apps or date people who use them at your own risk, and I mean a real risk. If you'd stand on a busy street corner in the city with a sign around your neck that says "Please date me and maybe love me," (and some folks would totally be cool with that,) then you should try dating sites and apps, but if that sounds like a bad idea to you, maybe you should avoid that route. Statistically speaking, the vast majority of successful relationships spring from people who you meet through shared friends. If you're willing to take the risk of showing vulnerability and hopefulness in a den of folks where there are guaranteed to be a sizeable percentage predatory and mentally unstable people (and moreso than would be in the general population, because predators are attracted to places there is a good selection of prey,) then, by all means, take your chances using dating sites and apps.
There will be no open comments on this article. I don't want to hear your defensive argument how you're not a bad person or are the exception to everything I wrote (so don't email it either.) I'm sure you're the unicorn I spoke of earlier, and that's fine. Most of us aren't unicorns, and that's why I always tell friends and clients alike to avoid dating sites and apps at all costs.
You know, today was my friend Shea's birthday. She would have been 35. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her. As I'm sure many of you know through your own personal losses, it's very hard to lose someone you love so very much. The pain never really goes away - at least in my experience, - one just gets used to it.
Since she is heavy on my mind, and still so much a part of my soul, I would like to share a story about her with you. It's a spell story, and a funny one at that, because Shea did like spells. ;)
When I was maybe 22/23 and she was maybe 21 (yes, I was in college for five years, feel free to judge me, ha!), we were both into spell casting, but she was very new into it. I don't recall her as having a boyfriend at the time, and I'm almost sure she didn't have one. She had come to my house and asked to borrow one of my books on love spells, and I of course lent it, telling her not to worry too much about x or y instruction in the book (it was one of those "THOU SHALT NOT INFLUENCE OTHERS!!!!" types of titles, but if you ignored that and tweaked the spells a bit it wasn't so bad,) and gave her some advice on what she might try. She'd also borrowed a few others, but the love spell one is the only one I can remember what it was about.
As I remember it, she had been very vague about what she had wanted to do, spell-wise, or love-wise, and though I'd offered a few pointers, I could tell she was not going to give me a complete idea of her motives. And I remember it being summer, though I could be wrong, - what I am sure of is that it was during a break in college...summer or winter, I can't say, but I'll lean towards summer.
The phone rang in the afternoon, and since she and I spoke at least every other day, if not multiple times a day, even when school was on vacation (and these were the last of the days of the landline, and expensive long distance, lol, so that wasn't cheap!) I saw it was her on the caller ID, and of course assumed we were going to have a gossip. "OMIGOD, CAT, OMIGOD, I FUCKED UP!" she said into the phone.
"OH NO, WHAT HAPPENED!?" I replied, thinking maybe she was in jail, or something worse.
"You'll be mad..." she said.
"OMIGOD, SHEA, JUST FUCKING TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED, AND I WON'T BE MAD!" I yelled back (we yelled a lot when together, and swore a lot...can you tell?)
"Well," she said, "Remember I borrowed that love spell book you had?" I said I did remember that. "OK, and then I borrowed that [other book that escapes my memory which one it was]?" I said I did. "Remember how you told me that I would probably need to tweak the spells to get something good?"
"Well, yeah, sure, I remember that. Why, who are you love spell casting on? OMIGOD, is he like, some psycho, and like you only found out like when he got hit with the spell? Is there a psycho after you? OMIGOD! I will kill him! Who is it!?"
"No..." she replied reluctantly. "It's worse than that. See, remember you told me I had to tweak things? I did that, by like, mixing two spells, sort of. Like, I read in one book not to cast a spell on someone directly or it might be bad, so I really wanted my ex to call me, then I thought what if like he could run into me instead of call - that's okay too, but then I thought, 'What if I don't mention my ex BY NAME' because like, that's indirect and I have some exes, right? But like, I thought what if it was like I said a guy who has been with me before or liked me before or something, right? I mean, my ex is one of those guys because he did like me and we did fool around. Well, so I [did a bunch of stuff that I only remember her using rose quartz and some pink candles but which is far more complex than that] and then it happened."
"HOLY SHIT, SHEA, WHAT ASSHOLE DID YOU CALL OUT OF THE ABYSS OF YOUR FUCKING EXES?!" I cried.
"FUCK YOU, YOUR EXES ARE EVEN WORSE AND YOU DATE KEVIN AND YOU HATE HIM!" she countered.
"I BOTH LOVE HIM AND HATE HIM AND YES, SOME OF MY EXES SUCK BALLS! Now tell me what happened?! Who showed up!? It wasn't [guy who is still my friend who I'm kind enough to leave anonymous], was it?"
"Well, no, Cat, it's ALL OF THEM!"
"What do you mean, all of them?" I asked. You mean [guy who shall remain anonymous] did show up?"
"Oh, he fucking called, of course, yes. It's bad, though. So like, there's this kid, and like I made out with him in high school, and he's like, gay now, and he saw me out to dinner with my parents, and he's a waiter at that restaurant, and started hitting on me. I mean, he's fucking gay! He does not like girls, and he flirted with me. Like really flirted! And-"
"Shea," I interrupted, "omigod, a gay kid was hit by your spell, that's so funny. Maybe he's not so gay after all."
"NO! SHUT UP! I'M NOT DONE, BITCH!" Shea said, cutting me off. And yes, we called each other bitch, slut, and whore all the time as terms of endearment. "He is very gay, and I'm sure he's gay, but that's not all. So I ran into my other ex from high school at the mall, and he like, wanted to go out with me. And [anonymous friend of mine] called, and also [another anonymous friend] - because you know we made out, and then also..." Now, instead of labeling a few people just anonymous, I'll let my audience know, she listed several of our friends, most of whom had probably only ever shared a kiss with her, and went on to say... "It's every guy I've so much as ever smiled at since I went through FUCKING PUBERTY, and ALL OF THEM! ALL OF THEM ARE COMING OUT OF THE WOODWORK AND TRYING TO FLIRT WITH ME OR HOOK UP WITH ME! WHAT DO I DO!!!!???"
By this point, I was laughing. "Well, why don't you hook up with one of them?"
"You don't get it, Cat, I hate this! Most of these people are people I never ever ever wanted to see again! I don't want to touch any of these guys dicks! Not a one of them! A few of them, I ever forgot I made out with them or like, liked them because it was so not even something I wanted to remember."
"Shea," I said, "You asked for all of your exes to miss you. What on earth did you think was going to happen? You should have just named the one you wanted."
"But the book said that was bad, Cat. What do I do? Tell me!?"
"Um, enjoy it? I'm enjoying it, and it's not even happening to me," I giggled. "Anyhow, I told you that book was over-cautious. You can always do a work-around. Why didn't you just call me and ask me what to do?"
"Because I didn't want you to know I wanted [whichever ex this was, but it's not the first one I said should remain anonymous.]"
At this point, I was laughing so hard I was almost crying. "Shea, I don't care who you want to hook up with. This is me you're talking to. Anyhow, you should just let this keep going so you learn your lesson. That's what I'd do. It will wear off, but the experience will teach you what it means to mess with this stuff and not do the instructions right."
"CAT! BUT THE ONE I WANTED WAS NOT EVEN EFFECTED! WHAT THE FUCK!"
"Well, maybe he will be, so you don't want to crush the spell just yet," I offered, "and anyway, like I said, things blowing up in your face can be a good learning experience for you."
So, as I remember, things did calm down in a week or two, and I believe the young man who she initially had hoped to attract did offer to take her out, but that is the story of the time Shea refused to name names in her spell casting and brought back 70% of the people she so much as ever kissed into her life for the next 3 or so weeks. The moral of the story is: Stop being indirect, just ask for who you want when you're spell casting OR don't complain when you get bombarded by bad choices (er, I mean people) you made out with while drinking. ;)
As an amusing side-note, some years later, I'd asked a friend who owed me a favor to set a light for me for attraction. I'd needed to borrow a bit of money from an ex who had since married and who was just a friend, but who was more apt to lend the money if he thought I looked cute. I wasn't looking to do the nasty, just hoping if I was super cute to him, he would be more apt to lend the large-ish amount I was requesting. It did work, the guy lent the money, and seemed to appreciate that I was cute, but didn't come on to me... However outside of him, when my friend set this light, the next thing I knew, it seemed like every other guy I'd so much as just smooched (some of whom were/are happily married,) that I was still in touch with in some form (mostly facebook friends only,) was suddenly coming on to me. ;) When I told Shea this, she was like "I hope you're enjoying it. Not fun, is it!?" It was actually hilarious, lol, but I suspect she felt vindicated, as I did more or less insist she just let her "calling all my exes" spell wear itself out. ;)
Happy Birthday, girlie. I miss you tons. There is nothing in this world that can ever take your place in my heart.
Many of you ask me why it is that you didn't think of doing x spell before y event happened...well, since that's a questions with as many answers to it as there are people asking it, I can't help you there.
What I can help you with is the following bit of advice...and some rambling on, too. ;) Basically, the problem you're running into is that you're not prepared. It's like if you find out that have 4 months until your school reunion when you find out about said reunion, don't get angry that you aren't getting results on your weight/flabbiness problem when dieting and working out for only 2 weeks before your reunion. ;) Giant bill you have to pay in 2 months? Better save up for it for those 2 months rather than complain two days before it's due that you forgot to save. :P OR maybe if you regularly saved your money, and worked out on a regular basis, neither would require you to do anything that isn't something you do all the time as is. :P
And the same can be said with spellwork. I've heard RO talk about "Kingdom Maintenance" and there really is something to that phrase. This means you're working some love mojo or protection mojo or some money mojo even when you don't need this stuff. Why? Because you WILL need this stuff. It's so much easier to keep things on an even keel than it is to throw all the spells you can think of and the kitchen sink at something when it goes tits up.
Want to attract people to you and be charismatic? Do attraction work on yourself regularly. Want to always have a bit of extra money? Do a money spell once a month at least. Worried about your interfering in laws? Do some protective work on your marriage regularly. Want to keep business steady at your small business? Do work on a regular basis to attract customers. And when (and if) you do hit a snag, you won't suddenly find yourself in such an emergency. If you're already doing well business-wise, one bad month of business will be a lot easier to deal with than if you were not doing so well before the bad month, for example. If your mother in law suddenly decides she hates you and wants your husband to hate you, too, you're already protected to some degree by the work you have put on your marriage.
Being prepared can mean using regular spellcraft to keep your life at it's best possible place. Doing something as simple as setting seven day lights in a non-emergency situation (perhaps you'd just like extra money, extra success, etc,) and doing this on a regular basis will make it much easier to correct the larger problems that arise in life when they arise.
***The only substitute for any item or action you can't find or accomplish doing is to locate another spell you have all the ingredients to and can complete all the actions thereof; I do not locate spells for you to use - Google is a fantastic method to locate this on your own (try "Cat's Rants" and then what you want to locate); I do not give out free spell-tutoring, that is a paid service; please do not leave your personal problems as comments BECAUSE THE COMMENTS ARE FOR CLARIFICATION AND DISCUSSION and NOT A PLACE TO DISCUSS YOUR PERSONAL LIFE...and SURPRISE, there have been comment guidelines for years! :) ***
Hope you like the new notice above, as it's to underline that there really is such a thing as a stupid question or action, especially when it's that some people are not following posted guidelines and things I repeat ad nauseum. Well, now those people have no excuse, but I'm sure the assclowns and askholes will ignore it anyhow, so let's just hope it deflects a few. :)
Also, while it's a bit off topic, putting things in freezers can freeze things in their place, otherwise known as preventing things from moving out of your life. While sticking lovey things in the freezer is bad (because it can make love cool off,) sometimes, depending on the type of maliciousness of someone, it also holds an asshole/jerk/enemy in place and they won't knock off acting like a jerk to you. :/ So, be careful with overuse of the freezer. Some of you just think it's like a wonderful place to toss any spell in there, and it really isn't. Case in point, sticking a hot-foot spell in the freezer is like hosing down a birthday cake to wash it off - you won't clean that cake, you'll just destroy it, and the same goes for hot-foot in the freezer. Basically, you're keeping the bad neighbor in place, while cooling down that hot footy feeling. :/ Please use your melons when placing spell remains (and by melons, I mean think with your head, and I didn't mean place the remains with boobs or inside cantaloupes or honey-dews or etc.)
HOWEVER, since it's popular lately, and I apparently have some scaredy-cats who can't bear the thought of going near any place their bad neighbor/tenant/coworker might see them approach, I figured I'd help all of you out with perhaps the most simple (and surprisingly elusive to many) method of removing nasty people out of your life or job.
The easiest method is to get a prepared 7-day candle, or prepare your own using quality-recipe products using an oil, a sprinkle of sulfur, a sprinkle of cayenne powder, and a sprinkle of salt, on a red candle, and then use it as per the instructions (if none are included, see chant*,) placing a picture of the person or people under the candle. If you don't have a picture or personal item of the target it may not be as effective. You can also make a name paper like this (in our example, we'll call the target Jane Doe, but you can replace this with the target's name)
If you want the whole Doe family gone, assuming Jane is the head of the household, you might put Jane Doe and Jane Doe's Family, Jane Doe's Family, The Doe Family of 84 Sheepdog Street, etc. However, if Jane is married to Mr Doe, and Mr Doe is named John, you might put this as Mr John M. Doe's family/household, etc. Really, if you can find a name that covers the group of people you're working on, then it's good. For example, as America is/was a patriarchal type of society, if it's just Jane and her husband, you can put Mr and Mrs John M. Doe (because that implies Jane and John Doe.) If, also, all you need is Jane to leave (and you assume her children and/or other family members will follow,) you can really just say "Jane Doe." See, if she's the only legal guardian, those kids are going to follow. ;) If you don't know the family's name, you can use Residents of 84 Sheepdog Street (of course replacing with your target's actual address.)
Now, turn the paper so the names are now running vertical, and write across the paper 9X (in the same method as above, repeating 9x, once per line): "Move away" or "Leave the area immediately" or "Remove yourself from this place permanently" etc.
Allow the candle to burn out completely. Place this paper where it will not be found in a crossroads. I've found even tossing this into a corner trashcan will work. If you seriously are so worked up about someone finding it, get a small bottle, and toss it into a river. Walk away without looking back.
And you're done remotely hot-footing someone. :)
If you're wondering, no, it's not the new spell article, I just got sick of the "How do I remotely hot foot someone?" questions I keep being plagued with. :)
***A possible chant you might use is "(Full name of target,) get away, go away, leave (this place OR address) immediately! Flee from here, run from here, take yourselves away from me. Pull up your feet, pull up your roots, remove yourself/yourselves from me permanently, to quiet the burn in your foots. As is my will, so be it!" Please feel free to make up your own chant. I do not have saved ones. ;) I USUALLY speak to the candle in free form, and nope, it usually doesn't rhyme. If I'm using sacred chants or words, it's traditional and/or something a bit more ceremonial than Hoodoo. To make up your own chants, remember to speak in the present, and avoid the use of negatives (no/not/never.)***
I know, I know, why am I doing this again? Because I have to. Please feel free to laugh, to shudder, or to go "Wait, I didn't realize this!" ;) Enjoy...because I'm sure I just offended some people. I wish I was sorry about that. :/
Q: Where do you buy sulfur? I have looked everywhere! I swear!!!!!!!
Q: Will you give me free answers to every question I have about spells or my situation?
A: Well, I actually sell that service. It's called spell-coaching. I don't do it for free because my experience is that people abusively expect me to work 12 straight hours for free answering every question they ever had, even if it's been answered in the Questions You've Asked Me archives.
Q: Why are you not rich and famous?
A: I don't want to be famous...with "rich," I'd say there's a limit to getting money wherein one finds they have no real friends anymore. Financial security sounds nice, but I don't really want to have so much money that I no longer can trust anyone is my friend. I'm rich with people who love me, as cheesy as that sounds.
Q: Why did you decline to let me hire you?
A: Probably because I felt you had egregiously misleading ideas of what a spell could achieve for you, or you clearly lied on your application, or perhaps it's because I felt that you and I wouldn't get along well. There's a multitude of reasons. However, in my business FAQ I clearly state to not ask me this question, and mostly because I don't like to make anyone feel upset that I said no. People get very touchy about this. :(
Q: Will you choose a perfect spell for my situation for free? And then tell me how to do it? And also give me free spell advice?
A: I sell that service. It's called spell-coaching.
Q: Can I use a filthy rotting used-condom in this spell?
A: I would not recommend you use rancid semen that's been stuck in a condom for I-don't-want-to-know-how-long. Unless I (or the author) specified using freshly gathered (as in you JUST GOT AHOLD OF IT minutes ago!) semen (which one usually soaks into another thing when that is stipulated,) the proper method is to gather dried semen from a rag, cloth, or tissue which does not have any of your cervical or bodily fluids or semen on as well.
If you have a condom over a day old, please throw that out. That will get rancid and nasty. Ew.
Q: Can I use a used tampon or maxi-pad?
A: Gather it quickly, clip out some of the batting or cotton, dispose of the rest. Better to handle when dry if not your own tampon. If it's your own tampon, you can "Milk" it as soon as you remove it by squeezing it into a cup and letting it dry. If you want to save the blood and it's your own, get a small bottle (like a mini-liquor bottle) and have your own freezer. Place the fresh blood into the bottle and keep frozen at all times, otherwise it will go bad and stink and be as bad as the rancid condom mentioned above. You *might* be able to do this with semen, but not having a set of testes, I can't say I've harvested my own semen after jerking off. :) I also do not hold on to fresh semen of others, and never have. Sorry, it's just not my thing. :/
Let us never discuss this again. *barfs*
But semen and vaginal secretions and period blood? All useful when dried. Why let that stink anything up when you don't have to? Especially if you're gathering from a target, you normally will prefer it dry, and do not bother keeping it fresh unless the spell stipulates FRESH semen or FRESH bodily fluids. ;)
Q: You said I need a hair from the head or the hat band, so does that mean I can use something else?
A: No, if I directly said what you had to use, then you need that particular item.
Q: Can I put cumin in hot foot?
A: I wouldn't suggest it, and I wouldn't use your hot foot if you replaced an ingredient with cumin.
Q: If you are so in love with Ryan Gosling, why aren't you married to him?
A: I don't know as I'd like him, just parts of him. That said, I prefer to lust from a distance. Just because someone is sexually attractive to me, that doesn't mean I need to put that notch on my bedpost. Most of what I say about Mr Gosling is for humor purposes, but, Mr Gosling, if you're reading this, feel free to buy me a drink anytime, and I'd never spellcast to make that happen...because I don't need it that much, but you're still f*cking beautiful, and I wouldn't say no to a free vodka if you offered. :)
Q: Can I tell you how you're a bad Catholic?
A: I'd rather you didn't. Most of those who do are merely ignorant on folk Catholic practices around the world, but if you're such a good Catholic, you might want to drop the sin of pride by telling me such a thing...or not. Whatever you want to do. I'm not your judge, not being Christ or God or any saint by any stretch of the imagination.
On a personal note, I find people like it when I don't give them unsolicited religious speeches, which isn't surprising, since I don't care for them myself. If someone wants my view on religion, then they can ask, but until that time, I try to keep it to myself. Except the one time a friend of mine asked when Lent was over and I made fun of him for being a "heathen agnostic," and then he made fun of me for being a "Lent-loving-Catholic," and then we both laughed at each other (and he offered me a dessert since I gave them up for Lent,) - since we both have this thing called a FUCKING SENSE OF HUMOR it was hilarious. :) I don't care that he or you or anyone else is or is not any religion. Give me the same respect about not caring about my beliefs unless you are curious about them rather than trying to correct me. Namaste, bitches. :)
Q: What if I hate Catholics and Christianity?
A: I don't care, just so long as you don't give me a lecture about either. We don't need to discuss religion, or saints, or Christianity, or anything of the sort. In fact, if you have angry feelings about those things, we should avoid the topic altogether so we can be respectful of each other's beliefs or lack thereof, right? Right.
Q: How can you tell if you were cursed 1000 years ago?
A: I have no intelligent answer for that...um, perhaps find a past life coach? Honestly, you've been dead so many times if it was a millennia ago, that I'm going out on a limb here, but I think you're gonna be OK. Most spells don't even last a year. :)
Q: If spells don't last like a year, then will it wear off and everything goes back to how it was and then it's like it never happened?
A: Well, the idea is to create a permanent condition or to create an opporunity. So, if I cursed you to lose an eye, and your eye fell out, it won't grow back a year later or magically reappear, no. However, if I do a spell to make your ex come back, and you're still a rotten shit to that person when they return, and they leave again? The spell worked, they came back, and you chased them off. It's not an armor against stupidity, unfortunately.
So, if you work against the spell, or you continue to create a bad situation for yourself, the spell will not work infinitely, no. For example, if you really want a job, you get that job, then you never show up for it, you won't get paid for working that job, and you'll lose the job.
No opportunity is permanent, and spell influence often begins to wear down over time, so the idea is to "strike while the iron is hot."
Q: Are you this bitchy in real life?
A: Sometimes. I tend to react poorly to willful ignorance, freebie abuse, and willful stupidity. Also, I hate when someone asks my advice or my opinion so that they can tell me it's wrong. However, my main problem is that sarcasm translates horribly in type, and that I work with sensitive people. I actually get a long with a lot of people, and surprisingly several of them tell me I'm actually nice. Yep, I'm shocked, too.
A: Yes, I will always be sad that she was stolen from myself and her loved ones so senselessly and so young, however, I'm feeling much better than I was right after it happened. You might say I've come to terms with it. I'm sort of disturbed you'd keep asking me this, though, since it's incredibly insensitive.
Q: I have never dated someone but want to marry them - is there a spell for that?
A: I strongly suggest having a committed relationship with someone. It's very emotionally immature to assume you could be married to them, even if you're friends right now. You need to try a romantic relationship on before you even contemplate marriage. I mean, when I was 14, I used to dream of stuff like that, too. Luckily, I started actually dating people, and realized great friends do not always make great romantic partners. Please try DATING SOMEONE FOR A LONG WHILE before considering marriage.
Q: Is there a spell to make bitches want to fuck me?
A: With that sort of language and attitude, the only females who will likely offer are the kind you pay by the half-hour for sexual acts, - spell or not, that's what you can find with your shit attitude. I'm sure they are happy to take your money right now. :)
Q: Will you cast a spell for me for free?
Q: Will you answer one psychic question for me for free?
I hope this has been educational, and yes, I've heard all of this in the last month. :/ So, while I hope many of you are laughing, I do hope some of you did find this educational...because some of you needed the education.
On a brighter note, I've had a lull in paying business (or I should say business I can accept, since it's so much "free" questions and/or unrealistic requests,) that I've had some time to work on a spell article for you all. Hope to have it up soon! :D
I'm getting really geared up for Lent to end, because I promised not to eat sweet foods all through Lent. Goodness...only 1.5 days left, and I can eat chocolate and Reese eggs! *drools*
However, since I know April has been a pretty cruddy month for all of us (or so my own life and my inbox would tell me,) I figured I'd give everyone one of my favorite quotes to set your Easter weekend off right. :)
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 9
You might recognize the title of this article as something your mom (or anyone else,) might have said to you when you kept bothering a scab or wound. It's true...if you fuss with a wound, pick at it, keep bothering it with your dirty fingers, it takes longer to heal, and can even get infected. I think most of us old enough to be reading this here blog understand this.
So, why do you keep bothering that situation you're working on with spells (especially that love situation)? Are you worrying at it? Are you checking the social media of others involved? Getting lots of psychic readings? Keeping yourself up at night trying to figure out what is going on? Do you often worry on your next move? Do you worry why it's not knitting together as it should?
Well...then, my lovely, stop picking at that. Apply the treatment, and let it knit together as fast and as well as it can by leaving that situation alone after that, OK?
Time again, for a Questions You've Asked Me article. :D
Q: I have found a dead bird in front of my house. I think I'm cursed. I also had a spider crawl on me, so I must be cursed, right?
A: I often get mails about an unfortunate dead bird (who probably ran into the window and broke its neck,) at least 2x a month, and usually the person decides this means a curse, and not just that a bird ran into a window thinking the reflection meant it wasn't a solid surface. I find that most often (in fact, in every case where I've been presented with this scenario,) that the bird died of the afore mentioned accident, or otherwise disease, OR was the "gift" of a neighborhood kitty (or your own kitty,) and that this is in no way a spell. Also, if you notice crows, or saw a bat flying, or had a spider crawl on you, this is almost always not a curse on you. What is happening is that an animal happened to be in the same place as you. Now, as someone who lives in a rural area, if I thought I was cursed every time I saw a crow (a flock of them live right near my house), a spider (I hate spiders in my house, but again, lotsa spiders around here,) a dead bird (um, have indoor/outdoor cats, always have,) or saw a bat in flight at dusk, I'd already be institutionalized. ;) Instead, I realize that I share this planet with lots of other creatures, and some of them die (and I see their remains,) some of them try to live in my home, and some even crawl on me and scare the crap out of me when I'm watching Netflix at 1am. (You know who you are, bad spider!)
I hate to say this, but almost every single person who ever asked me if they were cursed was just imagining themselves cursed, did not at all describe the behavior of a cursed person, and was often a bit...er...paranoid. I will say if you think you're cursed, it's at least a 95% chance you are not...because that suits the numbers in the amount of people who've asked me in 10 years if they were cursed to the small tiny number that actually were.
Q: I was told to look for pictures in the drippings of my candle wax when using a free-standing candle. I can't see a picture, though, I think maybe this is a lima bean exploding? What does that mean?
A: Whoever told you to project that a sign will come out of your candle wax every time you cast a spell is a silly bear who probably wants to either sell you something, or does not understand how wax sign works. I've been over this before. ;)
So, when you get wax sign, it looks like something - the image will pop out at you immediately. Like, you walk over to your container where the candle has burnt down, and you go "Holy crap, it's shaped like a person!" or "Holy crap, that looks like a bunny!" (Here, can you see the shape that looks like an Easter bunny?)
How this is NOT done is by looking for a sign. See, it's not a Rorschach test. You are not seeking an image. If an image pops out at you the moment you come over, then yeah, that might mean something. If you're sitting there trying to decipher any possible image (which generally would be doing nothing other than projecting a sign where there is no sign,) don't expect your "findings" to be valid indication of any sign.
Remember what I always say about signs. If you seek signs, you project signs where they do not exist.
Q: What is the strongest spell for (named desire)?
A: The question as stated actually makes me shudder, lol, and also illustrates the querent's ignorance in regards to spellcasting in general. (Sorry, I had to say it.) :(
I'm sure I've actually gone over this, but for the last few months, I've been inundated with several questions JUST LIKE THE ABOVE from people who are too new to spellcasting (that's most of you,) too lazy to do their own research, too emotionally traumatized, too mentally unwell, too-willfully-ignorant, or are just self-entitled askholes lately, so let's go over this again. ;)
There is no "strongest love spell" that will suit all love situations. There is no strongest money spell that will suit all money situations. Heck, there's not even a strongest best curse, strongest best reconciliation spell, or any strongest type of any spell.
But why is that? Well...because without diagnosing the situation, without seeing all of the obstacles to manifestation (or trying to,) without choosing the best triggers for manifestion of the desired outcome, without taking into account all people who may be involved, without assessing the reasons this condition to be changed exists, and without taking into account several factors, one cannot choose the BEST spell for one's situation.
So, if you broke up with someone and want them back? Yep, the previous sentence is not enough information to know what spells would be best-suited to bringing back your lover.
Can't find a job? Well, without knowing why that is (are you unqualified? Is it a shrinking job sector? Are you living in an area where your desired profession is not in demand, etc) you won't be able to figure out which is the best job spell for your situation.
Want the best break up curse there is? Well, do you care if both parties of that couple get into legal trouble for having publicly had a physical altercation where both assaulted each other? Because that is a very good possibility if you use some break up curses as opposed to other break up curses.
Without extensive knowledge of the issue, there is no way someone can give you the BEST spells for your situation, and there is NO SUCH THING as a one-size-fits-all-problems-of-this-very-general-kind-of-problem spell. The only way to find the BEST spell is to look at the problem individually, and to judge how to change the situation to your (or the petitioner's) liking by using triggers which will bring about this desired outcome
So, there is no very general purpose, one size fits all for every similar problem, that's the strongest spell there is for that very-general type of problem, OK? Don't ask. The problem needs to be diagnosed and treated, much like an illness. :P
Q: I've read that you've said everyone has "noob-moments," yourself included, so can you tell me one?
A: I can and I will. :) Many years ago, when I was still but a girl and a still yet somewhat of a noob (hehe), I decided to use a spell where I would bring back an ex by trying to use his passion for me. I used A LOT OF RED, and A STRONG MARTIAN (Mars) INFLUENCE. Annnnd I kinda sorta didn't think about how like Mars isn't just about sexy-type passions, it's also a lot of war, and fighting, and anger is a passion, too. Yeah, no, I was thinking more about that man's sexy-lusty feelings for me, and not so much about the fact that we were FIGHTING ALL THE TIME ANYHOW!
(Yes, I'm using capitals to yell at my past self. Don't judge me.)
I started this spell on a Tuesday night, it was a relatively simple-set-up candle spell type of spell, used Mars symbols, herbs relating to Mars, the word passion, other sigils that meant passion, and of course this spell just went FAST. All spell-candles immediately melted like butter. I was done getting ready to go out in the maybe a half an hour to an hour it took to burn out. So, I think to myself "Cat's gonna get some! And he's gonna looooooove me!"
Anyhow, I didn't expect it to manifest immediately, but felt it would manifest quickly.
Days later (I think it was like 3-4 days later at most, - I may be misremembering as this was well-over a decade ago, and it may be the same night,) I saw my target. He was with a shared friend, and the shared friend and I were talking. Meanwhile, my target was SO RUDE, saying anything snarly and awful that he could during mine and our shared friend's conversation, and trying to pick a fight. Since I was young, and a bit thick back then (ask a few people I used to date, lol,) and not known for taking hints, I just kept talking to the shared friend while this guy who was my target acted the asshole. Finally, I had enough, and I was like "(Target's name,) what the fuck!? I'm seriously just like, talking here. Why don't you leave!?" Our shared friend (a female) was very upset and started to cry, fearing what would happen next (oh, and she was also drunk, lol.) The target says something really rude like "Whatever, cunt!" And I took his drunk ass by the shoulder, turned him around and nudged him towards the stairs, with the words "I said, just leave!" Unfortunately, in his drunkenness, he was clumsy, and he slipped down the stairs, grabbing my ankle, and this grab brought me tumbling down the stairs, too. Well, I'd had enough, and so I started swinging as we were rolling down these stairs to the bottom. When I started, he started swinging, too, all the way down the stairs, and out into the street below. He denies the ankle grab was intentional, and those present had said to me that it looked entirely intentional.
This was the time I beat the ass of a 6'3" man (I'm 5'2 2/3") who was a semi-pro running back, definitely not weak, to my 105 lbs when soaking wet tiny self. I beat him up in front of everyone on a Friday night, on the most popular party street of my college's town, so that pretty much everyone who went to my relatively-small college watched as he had his ass kicked by a little girl, and then, when I bested him (you bet I made him admit he was beat before I let him go,) he went running home crying, screaming "You bitch, you cunt!" the whole way, and sobbing. He later denied he even fought back, to which I showed him my bruises. Yes, we're still friends, lol, though we were not for awhile after that.
I can't remember if I ever got into a physical altercation after that (at least never for any other reason but self-defense, and even then I'm unsure I did fight ever after that,) but seeing as I was 20-21 when this happened, and about too old to get into fights anyhow, and that I don't think I'll ever best that (OMG, that guy was a foot taller and totally muscular, and I BEAT HIS ASS!) I have often said that this was the moment I retired from fist-fighting. I'll just never do better than that.
However, as you can see, I had used WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH Mars energy, and it would seem the passions that I enflamed that night just happened to be the passions that were our anger and resentment towards each other, combined with our desire to fight each other physically - a desire we both wisely had repressed until my asshattery and over use of Mars' influence opened that up in both of us. Mind you, this guy is super super nice, this is entirely out of character for him (and totally was at the time, too,) he doesn't hit girls (never heard of him doing it before or after,) and I'd still, to this day, tell you that he is a big sweetie. Oh, and that I kicked his monkey-ass! I made him my bitch in the street! Hells, yeah! (I'm proud of it, hehe.)
Oh....and you should know...this was the third time a Mars-energy-laden spell ended up being "passionate" in a war-like way for me. Also, it was the last time I ever did use Mars for passion...at least in such a strong way.
Wasn't I a silly noob? (Who also kicked ass!)
The noobishness here is that I was blind to how over-use of a Mars influence could easily turn into war and fighting...when Mars is the God of War. :P Yeah, oh, and third time's a charm, because the previous 2 times to this episode that I'd used a lot of Mars influence on a love sitch, it ended in a shoving match, each time started by the target.
I will say this one "failed." I didn't reconcile the guy with that spell. It did produce an effect, just obviously not a reconciliatory one. So, second noob problem? I used Mars-energy (Mars being the god of war) for reconciliation (reconciliation should not be equated with war.) What a dummy I was sometimes, huh? ;)
Q: Can I use a used cigarette butt for a personal item?
A: Yes, definitely. I tend to use these mostly for things which involve getting a person to speak up, or getting a gossip to have their gossip turn against them. If it involves speech, or the mouth, it's a wonderful personal item. It can be used for other uses as well, but that's my primary use of this item.
Q: If I crack an egg for cooking purposes, and it has blood in it, is this a bad sign?
A: If you've not used this item ritually, it's probably not anything mystical whatsoever. It's just gross. :P What happened is that egg was probably fertilized before it got in your fridge. Ick. However, if you are concerned, you should try taking a spiritual bath for cleansing off bad energies. If you continue to experience bad luck, you may want to try spiritually cleansing your home with a floor wash (many can be used on walls as well,) and taking a cleansing bath for 7 straight days.
HOWEVER, it's probably just a bad egg. It happens. :/
Q: Will you ever write a book?
A: I'd love to. What needs to happen is that I need to take a sabbatical from work to do that, and have enough money for said sabbatical. ;) I do have a few half-finished manuscripts, but after writing the same stuff over and over, it gets a bit tired to write about it in my spare time in book form. Sooooo, if I had like 3 months off of work? You bet I would write a book! :D
Q: Why are you such a bitch sometimes? I mean, someone who helps people should never ever be bitchy or angry or react sourly to anything or anyone, regardless of that person or thing's behavior, right?
A: Hmm, why is it I get to be a bitch sometimes? It's probably from dealing with people who assume I should do my job for free, people who don't follow posted protocol (and get offended or contrary when asked to,) or who spend 5 days telling me I'm a cunt because I refused their case, or maybe it's because I also have a life outside of my job which, just like yours, gets pretty shitty sometimes.
So, let me ask you - why are you such a bitch sometimes? Feel free to let me know. :) I think we're all bitches and assholes and jerks and fuckfaces and assclowns now and again...myself included. If you can't bear that I have imperfect moments, or that I might react with hostility after being antagonized for several days, then you shouldn't expect me to be understanding when you have your imperfect moments. We're all human beings...except maybe that guy in the corner...he might be a pod person. (That pod person thing was sarcasm.) ;)
Oh, and I answer this one a lot. Really, everyone, is it such a mystery why I might be dark, snarky, or react in anger when mistreated? I'm not a robot or a pod person. Please stop pretending to be surprised when I am a human like you who has friends, a family, problems that aren't your business, problematic clients, problematic wanna-be clients, a life outside of work, and who likes to be paid to do her job, and etc. I'm a human and not infallible. Accept it, please.
Hope that was helpful! It would be really nice if some of you took the time to do things like read the Questions You've Asked Me archives. Please check that out before contacting me. :)
If you receive contact from a female seeking reconciliation help or readings within the next few months with the initials RP, please contact me. I'll give full details of this individual (so you can make sure you're not endangering yourself by taking her business,) a person who, ever since she couldn't manage a sensible discussion with me, has been sending me incredibly rude emails after my refusal to let her hire me, and refused to give "free" assistance (because things I get paid to do are things I don't do for free, lol.) It's unfortunate, but because she couldn't manage to act sane, I've had to call the police and alert them that she is obviously mentally unsound. She's sent me nothing but insults and rude language, which, to be fair, is quite the over-reaction for my saying no, I can't be of service. :P
If you are a potential client or a blog-reader seeking my assistance, and do not want to appear in a post such as this, do not call me names, harass me, email me rude shit over and over when I've asked you to stop contacting me, or take it to such a level that I have to alert the police about your behavior. I get about 4 of these crazies every year, and my way of dealing with them is to make sure no other professional spellworker or reader is forced to deal with them. :P
While this post was originally intended to be temporary and only up for 2 months, I'll be leaving this up permanently to warn all other workers, as this individual has proved to be the third most mentally-unsound person I've ever dealt with...which is saying quite a bit. :(
THIS IS MY INBOX ALL DAY TODAY (I'll spare you some of the more graphic ones, but this is what my inbox looks like. My commentary below):
From: r*** p********
Sent: Thursday, April 10, 2014 12:51 PM
Subject: Your bipolar
Your not God girl drama queen bye bye
This is interesting, (it's oft repeated by her,) as I've never told her I'm God, that I want to be God (I don't,) nor have I been the melodramatic one. This is still going hours after I posted this, and I'm not at all acting insane. Also it's "you're" not your. I don't have a bi-polar, nor do I show signs of being bi-polar, but the author of the above is showing signs of mania.
Being as I'm in my mid-thirties at this writing, I'm also no longer really able to be referred to as "girl." I'm a woman.
From: r*** p********
Sent: Thursday, April 10, 2014 12:59 PM
Your a rude Bitch u wish u was God don't text me fuck you girl your biplar for real
Again, the author above does not understand the difference between "your" as in this is your sock, and "you're" which is a contraction for "you are." I'm not being a rude female dog in heat, and I'm not texting her. In fact, I don't have her phone number, so I couldn't text her if I wanted to. She doesn't have my phone number, so she also is incapable of texting me.
Since my initial isn't "U," I'm going to assume this means "you," in this context. I do not wish I was God, and again, I've never given any impression that I wanted to be the Almighty to this person. I can't say I've even said anything that would give anyone the impression that I want to be God when speaking with this individual. I really have no desire to have THAT MUCH responsibility, including the responsibility for making this seemingly-unsound person.
I'm not the one being rude here...so she's projecting. To be fair, I'm more worried for this person's safety than I am offended.
And again, I show no signs of mania or cycling, so I'm not bipolar. My name is also not Biplar, so I'm not sure why this keeps getting thrown on me.
Since I'm not a lesbian, and even if I "switched teams," I'd not pick a mentally ill woman for a partner, I do decline the offer to "fuck." I've absolutely no attraction to this person.
As for the "bye" theme...er, I asked her to stop contacting me more than 24 hours ago. I think she's the one that might need to go "bye." Again, I'm not really clear on how I need to be told bye-bye...already said that to her. :(
I really don't understand why she is so devoted to repeatedly telling me off for having declined to be of service, because I'd not do a service for free that costs money. I don't understand how it's offensive of me to refuse to do my paying job for free. I do actually wonder if she punches people in the face for not having a product in stock or something, because this is an overwhelming amount of unsolicited rapidly-sent rude emails over my declining to be of service. Wow.
Well, I'm assuming the police are speaking with her now, and I really hope she gets the mental help she desperately needs. If any of you pray to St Dymphna, please light a candle for this person. I already have. Poor thing really needs to get some professional psychological help. :/
I'm sure, fellow readers, practitioners (and those who fear they might become a featured "no hire") that you can now understand how this person made an appearance on the blog. :( It takes someone lacking any manners or sanity to get featured. The last one decided I'd tell her to tie coffee to herself, and called me a c*** merely for asking for clarification on what she meant by other workers had misled her....so you need to really be bad for me to say anything. :/
UPDATE 4/12/2014 - So this person emailed me 2x at 1am to tell me off again. Obviously, I wasn't awake to read that, but I'm letting everyone who offers services or even writes a blog...if it's initials RP and a female, please contact me so you can IGNORE this person if she shows up in your inbox... She's going to stalk and harass if you don't. :( I will happily pass on the details in a private message if you need them.
Everything is abusive language, delusional accusations, and always about how I'm apparently "bipolar" which I don't think she understands what that is. I'm not showing signs of mania. I've not even responded in days, so I'm not sure what's setting her off...if it's this post, the post is not coming down (no one deserves to be treated in the manner she's behaved towards me, so it's a warning for others,) and I've saved all the emails for anyone who wants a look (privately.) Anyhow, off to forward this stuff to the police. :/