Hello occulties!
It seems its time for me to repeat myself repeat myself repeat myself repeat myself repeat myself repeat myself for the thousandth time. Maybe I'm just rephrasing so those who ARE NOT TOO LAZY TO READ THE ARCHIVES might actually catch on to what I'm saying. ;) Hey, sometimes you just need something rephrased.
This is aimed at helping those of you finding your work floundering for reasons which are painfully obvious to some more experienced spellcasters, as well as those of you who are finding your work floundering for reasons which may be less obvious even to the experienced. Alrightey, let's get this started...and with what I presume my long-term Occultey-readership already has heard 1,345,862,348,941 times in here. ;)
*The petitioner (person casting spell,) dwells on the problem frequently, often analyzing it over and over to try to figure out the motives of those involved in the situation they are spellcasting on (generally social situation,) or analyzing all events around them in hopes of a sign.
How many times do I have to tell you to stop thinking the spell to death and let it go and do its work? How many metaphors must be used and how many parables and how many examples must be made before you learn this? This is the question I think that, should I get to meet my maker upon my death (no, not my mom and dad, to you wise-acres in the Rant Room,) will be the very one I ask, because, damn, I really want to know. ;)
Some of the signs you may be engaging in this sort of behavior, if you're the petitioner (person requesting the spell, which may or may not be the spellcaster,) include (but are not NEARLY LIMITED TO,):
*Engaging in frequent sessions of analyzation of the situation, actions, people involved, post-spellcasting. This does not mean you ask yourself BRIEFLY if this or that may be an effect of the spell (for example "Wow, Frank is really warming up to me - I'll bet that's my love spell working!) but more like "Why is Frank nice to me right now, and then he seems a bit stand-offish and shy, and hey, did he just crack a joke at my expense, and why did he give me that look the other day or was he looking at that other person, and then wait is he dating the other person, and was he always sort of flirting with me, or is this just Frank when he's friendly, and hey, do I feel effected by this spell, is it just hitting me, and doesn't Frank often go to Biff's Bar and Tavern on Monday and if so, why isn't he here right now - is it because I've been showing up here, or is it...." Yeah...that's a run on sentence that isn't going to stop. I know, because I read it every day in my inbox for pages at a time. ;) JUST STOP. What was that smack on the back of your head? That's me, I've developed the power to hit you through your monitor each time you start getting your spell OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder, that is,) and freaking the f*** out like this. While I don't literally have the power to hit you through the internet, I am working on it, but...digressing back.
*"Stalking" the spell target (this includes things like constant checking of Facebook, MySpace, Friendster and other social sites, Googling, data mining services, as well as traditional stalking methods,) in an effort to gauge if something his happening/changing. This is DIFFERENT than running into someone and noticing changes. This is more like obsessively watching your target for any change in their lives and personality, especially when being done covertly. For example, if Janice loves Karl, but Karl doesn't know it, and Janice has cast a spell on him, checking his Facebook page every day and grilling a shared friend several times a week about Karl and what he's doing would be mildly stalking.
*Losing faith in your own actions/spell. While this is a sign which crops up in other self-defeating behaviors, I've observe, ESPECIALLY AMONG THOSE WITH PRE-EXISTING MENTAL CONDITIONS (and I mean, like tolerable ones, not grand-mal, lock you away psychological conditions, but like moderate depression, anxiety, etc, - even medicated problems,) this becoming a huge issue where the petitioner second guesses everything and begins especially to "pick on" themselves for past actions made during the spellcasting process or immediately previous to it. For example "I always thought Darla was flirting with me, but now, perhaps, I was just fooling myself and she's always a flirt," or "I really shouldn't have said that to George the other day - now he'll never talk to me, spell or not!" While obviously we are all going to make mistakes or be critical of ourselves from time to time, this goes beyond seeing a past mistake and is more like an attack of the "Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda"s complete with beating oneself up emotionally.
*Attacking the spell target verbally/emotionally/physically due to a percieved lack of movement in the spellwork. This is common with reconcilation and love spells - the petitioner, being frustrated, becomes angry and lashes out at the target, believing this person to be their antagonizer for not reacting "fast enough."
If you find yourself engaged in over-analyzation, long bouts of self-pity, long bouts of thinking how the spell will manifest or how it will fail, self-blame, target-blame, and stalking, then...well, you are filthy sick with the thinking it to death and not letting it go behaviors. Seriously.
What can you do?
LET IT GO. Listen, sometimes its best to think of a spell like putting an order in for say, food, at a restraunt. Presumably when you sit down, check the menu, and put out your order, you then relax for a certain period of time while the kitchen makes up your food. Do you go back into the kitchen and start saying "Are those beefsteak or vine tomatoes?" and then do you go and look at the cook and wonder "Gee, he looks ticked at me right now, is it my wanting to know what tomatoes they're using," and then look out to your table and wonder, "Will they mess with my food? I better sit here and watch them cook," then demand to stand in the kitchen being an obstacle to the very food order you made, picking, asking question, obsessing the motives of the line cook making the sauce, etc? Do you? Do you? Well, why in the eff are you doing this to your spell? Its what you're doing. Wouldn't most normal people sit down at a table and just wait for the food to come out to them? In spellcasting the most expedient way to get your spell to manifest is to send the order out (by casting the spell,) and then to wait, even with some mild level of anticipation, I'm sure (we're hungry when we're at a restraunt though not usually anxious and annoying the s*** out of the wait staff and kitchen because of this,) then recieving the ordered item in a regular amount of time. If you're interfering intentionally in a restraunt situation, it makes sense to you that your order would be held up, and perhaps not as good as you'd like, right? Right? Well, then why do you think its different with a spell? ;) You're using not letting something go, thinking it to death, and bad behavior to slow the manifestation and clog the path of manifestation...and...well, you're doing it to yourself. You need to take a few steps back from the situation, and involve yourself in other things to get your mind off of the situation until you can cease obsessing and cease antagonizing the spell energies.
*Despite frequent spellcastings, there is no movement in the situation being spellcasted upon.
While this may be caused by the above discussed first issue, often this also means the petitioner is taking the wrong approach to the problem (ie, they need to use a different spell or a different "plan of attack," to tackle the problem) OR that the spell energy needs to be let go to do its work. In these situations, I'd recommend taking a 2 week break from spellcasting to allow the energies you've raised to begin to work. If nothing begins to manifest after a short wait, attempt a different type of spell to help fix the situation. For example, if casting a money spell and not recieving any increase in income, try casting a road opener/blockbuster spell to clear any possible obstacles keeping the increased income from manifesting into your life.
*It should be remembered that often with love and reconcilation spells, we also can observe the target HOLDING BACK showing the petitioner his or her feelings. This is because humans are raised to not show these feelings easily (doing so is often seen as a sign of weakness,) and also because, especially in reconilation cases, the spell target may be leery of allowing the petitioner to know they have changed their minds regarding their feelings for the petitioner.
*It should be remembered in cursing situations that, should the petitioner have open emnity with the target, or even have a target who, despite cordial behavior, is aware that that petitioner has a reason to dislike them, that the target is apt to hide their misfortune, bad luck, etc from someone like the petitioner who might take advantage of this weakness, so...sometimes the petitioner does not see the full effect of the curse until after its fully manifested. :S
*While the you had an exact idea of how the spell was apt to manifest, you realize its not manifesting that way, and find yourself worried its going to flounder.
Repeat after me: "While I have complete trust that (name spell's purpose or name spell here,) will manifest, I do not know how or why that will come to be. I have faith in that the spell creates the desired outcome, the path to it is not mine to decide."
Ooooh, you just admitted that you do NOT actually know for sure how something will happen. You don't know if Jack will come back with giving you a phone call first or if you'll run into him on the way to getting some fuel at a convenience store! You've admitted that you believe your money spell will bring more money, but that you don't know if that's going to manifest as a higher paying job or a fortunate lottery ticket. Wow, I'm proud of you! You're on your first step to competently understanding spell manifestation. You put the order in - how or why the order is filled is revealed to you when that order is received.
This means if you're getting freaked out that Barbara hasn't called you yet, you're not putting any faith or trust in the spell energy. This means if you're upset that Dean hasn't yet started to have bad luck with his business despite the curse on it, that you're entirely faithless to believe that it won't happen.
Your sign your causing your spell problems? You don't have faith. You also believe (perhaps wrongly,) that you are the all-knowing all-seeing eye in the sky who knows exactly how the spell will manifest (how you think it SHOULD MANIFEST IN YOUR HUMBLE OPINION,) and not having faith in the spell being able to do its job any other way than what you wrongly are presenting is the only way/right way. ;) What?
Okay, spells take the path of least resistance to manifest. So, on some problems, perhaps its easiest for the spell to take an obvious path. For example, if I cast a job spell, presumably I will put in an application and get a good job. This is the likliest road to spell manifestation, right? Well, what if my car breaks down on the way to an interview, and a fellow working in the same building as my interview helps me, drives me to the building, and I have a horrid interview. Well, but I really wanted that job! Oh s***! My spell, its failing its failing, whine, whine... Ah, well, either way...I keep applying to jobs, losing faith the spell is working when...2 weeks later the nice fellow who gave us a ride to the interview that was horrible offers a great position in his office - it seems our small talk regarding going to an interview for x job had piqued his interest and in doing so, landed a great job (far superior to the one intervied for at the other office,) with great pay... Huh...that's not the likliest path to spell manifestation....and weirdly, if you think about it, the going out for interviews got the job, albeit indirectly and...
See, path of least resistance. While this is usually is the Occams Razor (the most likely answer is usually the right one,) of spellcasting, where we can see the likliest path and can reasonably assume this is how a spell is apt to manifest, becoming adherent to the idea that it MUST manifest in a particular presumed way is injurous to spell energy. Why? Because we are creating our own obstacles/blockages by trying to force the spell to manifest as we assume it should. Lets go back to our previous example of the job spell which manifested as the job being recieved from the good samaritan who drove the person to a failed interview. Imagine in that scenario that the person with the bad interviews and who had not yet received the job had avoided the call from the good samaritain or had avoided contact with them, simply because they felt the person had nothing to offer? Imagine, if you will, that because the spell had taken so long to manifest, that the petitioner of that example had started only answering and returning calls from sources he or she suspected would bring the desired manifestation. There is no way the petitioner could have realized the good samaritain might have had a job opening - why bother returning the call? The petitioner may have decided the spell "failed" simply because the petitioner was too hung up on their perceived idea of how the spell would manifest.
How do you fix this? First, keep an open mind, second, admit you do not decide HOW the spell manifests but rather you are making an order for the END RESULT, the manifestation, and third, do not get disheartened when the most-likely SEEMING manifestation is not occuring.
*Rationalizing obsessive, pessimistic, or negative behavior patterns as "normal" and "to be expected," despite the fact that most people do not have to obsess, freak out, or be pessimistic, and are more than capable of enough self-control to not indulge in bouts of "why me?"ings, or "its natural I feel bad so let me wallow in my own self-pity for hours at a time," etc.
That should be self-explanitory. If you're claiming everyone is like you, you're mistaken, and you're rationalizing your behavior is actually you encouraging yourself to keep it up because its easier for you, you're comfortable with failure (its what you're accustomed to,) and you're now encouraging it.
By rationalizing negative and unhelpful behaviors, you are only showing others that you are married to your own misfortune (comfortable with it,) and are encouraging it. You can say you have faith, you can claim you think positive, and even convince yourself that you have done all the right stuff, but if you've come to a point where you are like "Oh, who isn't heartbroken when someone you love doesn't return your affection," is your excuse for shooting your recon spells in their figurative feet repeatedly, then...well, your rationalization is your sign to you that you either enjoy being miserable and in the state your in (you're used to it and its comfortable,) or that you feel you deserve what you're getting (or conversely that you don't believe you deserve what you requested.)
Listen, I do understand sadness, frustration, anger, pessimism - its natural when things are not going your way. Yep, sure. Okay. I do understand that it can be difficult to overcome the desire to sink into the "Swamps of Sadness," and allow yourself to be overtaken by these feelings, but if you can't accomplish at least being secure that your spell is an action which will take you from this state of sadness, and use that as your reason to cease being a plaintive or faithless creature, then...I've no idea what to tell you. This is sadly where the most-intelligent and learned of petitioners seem to find themselves failing. They rationalize that there is some impossible level of obstacles or behavioral techniques required to make a spell work. They claim that perhaps conveneint coincedences (how most spells manifest) are just that or else someone could show them data showing otherwise. They bemoan that less that 1/5000 chance that the Universe may say no to the request, therefore the falliability of spellcraft must make it not workable. They engage in bad behaviors frequently, then say its not for lack of faith or positive thinking. Goodness, the saddest thing is if you apply their behavior to any other situation be it relationship or business, say, their behaviors and actions would be their own downfall. It would be obvious to even them in those situations.
You are required to have faith the spell will work, to acknowledge you can't predict how it will manifest - your power is the desired outcome, and it is required of you to put that order in and relax ENOUGH to let the spell work. This doesn't mean you can never feel sad or you can't ever have a moment of doubt. Yes, you may have a bad day (don't we all,) but you don't use every opportunity to complain and why-me and have a wallow in the pigsty of self-pity...because, frustration is normal...we may be disappointed now and again, but rather than catalogue these events as reasons for "hey, this is why nothing ever works for me," (the reason nothing works for you is that you have affirmed repeatedly to yourself that it never will and therefore drawn that outcome to yourself, by the way,) try having some faith. Things look like they aren't working out as you'd imagined (you have no control over the path to the outcome, just what the outcome IS,) does not mean you're not getting what you want. You're frustration at the wait? Normal! But using frustration as an excuse to develop an Eeyore complex and drive yourself down the "nothing ever works for me" street, and engage in self pity and ridiculous behaviors? Eh...that's where it stops being so normal. Try adopting a positive attitude, not just claiming you have a positive attitude because you managed to make yourself think you did for five minutes today. If you're really so stressed out by your situation as to not be able to overcome this sort of behavior you may need to do healing work on yourself before continuing with spellwork or even may need a psychiatrist... I mean, if you really think your problems are bad, I can guarantee you'd rather have your problems than someone elses. ;)
Often, the best solution here is to cast a spell for something you're not wild and crazy to have, do your best at that spell, and go back into engaging yourself into whatever other spellwork or situaiton you want to. 9 times out of 10, you'll forget about that spell you cast, only to have it manifest quickly. When it does, there is that postive surge of surprise that wait! Spells do work, and S*IT! good things do happen to you!
NOT-SO-HONORABLE MENTIONS:
You're likely causing your spellwork problems if you're
*Spying on or stalking your target
*Using frequent divination to gauge how the spell is going
*Frequently discussing the spellwork with others
*Crying, acting irrational, being defensive/hurtful towards a target of a love or reconcilation spell
*Acting against the spell (ie casting a job spell and not applying to jobs, contacting a target first when the spell mandates the target makes the first contact, etc)
*Visibly antagonizing a curse-target
*Engaging in frequent analyzation of HOW the spell might manifest
*Seeking "a sign" to the degree of projecting that everything is a sign
*****
While this is in no way a final or complete list of how to cause your spell problems through bad behaviors, I hope its been educational. ;)
~Cat
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Awesome post. I'm booking marking it for future "Swamp of Sadness" days that I sometimes encounter. Quick question....do you think active spells can be salvaged (so to speak) if one trips up and has a "poor me, my spells ain't workin'" moment?
Posted by: A | October 19, 2009 at 09:44 PM
We all have a MOMENT, the key is not to have a marathon. ;) The spell probably doesn't need salvaging unless you've dived into the proverbial swamps of sadness and camped for awhile. ;)
My recomendation is first to just to pull yourself back from the bad behavior, and stop doing it. Once you've done that, try to stay on track, and just let the spell do its work.
If there was marathons of bad behavior, recast the spell or do some supportive spellwork about a month from the spellcasting of the first spell, just to add more energy to the spellwork and help it have the strength to manifest.
I mean, I can't say if you go out of your way to work against your spell (like stalking the target, lol,) that's going to not effect the outcome or strength of the spell, but if you had a sad day or a negative day, you should be fine. The issue is allowing the spell to do its job - and usually it will do just fine so long as the petitioner did not beat the hell out of it. ;)
We all have the bad moments - even me. As long as you don't have lengthy times where you're beating the heck out of your spell energy. Just recognizing what you're doing usuall is enough because you sort of put yourself back on the right path.
As I said - bad moment - probably OK
Marathon of badness...not OK. ;)
~C
Posted by: Cat | October 19, 2009 at 09:54 PM
Thanks for the answer. I tend to have angry/anxious days every once in a while more than sadness really (methinks it's actually PMS rearing is ugly head!). I really have to rein it in sometimes, but for the most part I think I'm ok. Thanks again for the answer :)
Posted by: A | October 20, 2009 at 01:51 AM