Hey there Occulties,
Wow, so did my house need a ritual house cleaning. :P No wonder I was having such a bad time of things over the past few months. I clean my ritual room out regularly, but I needed to cleanse the whole house in every room, every floor every spot, and...well, things sure seem better for me now that I have. :D The energy is much lighter and better in here, and the house is extra sparkly, too.
Anyhow, while I was suffering from my own issues here in the world of the NinjaCat (computers breaking, people acting insane, my naturally short temper not making that easier for me or anyone, trying to find passwords to accounts I haven't signed into for as long as I owned them because I just logged myself in forever, etc,) I did read lots and lots and lots of your emails and questions and etc. Not suprisingly, many of you had the same root problem in regards to manifestation. Want to know what it is?
Fear. Fear is a spell-killer...and...
Worry is a form of fear.
Anxiety is a form of fear.
Refusing to let go of a situation is a form of fear.
Spying on/stalking a target to see if they are affected is also often a form of fear.
I could go on, but I think I've hit the most common offenders.
I realize there are all other sorts of fear, but I'm not here to discuss your fear of spiders, your fear of dirty socks, your fear of hamster balls, or your fear of flying. I'm here to help you deal with the fears which are impeding your spells from manifesting.
So, when it comes to spellworking, what are the most common fears someone might have?
I guess, generally speaking, they are like...
"What if this backfires?" Spells do not do the opposite of what is intended. Someone might reverse the spell back onto you which means you get to experience whatever you sent out to another, but a spell to get someone to love you does not make them hate you. Furthermore, it is very rare someone is using spells, so it's unlikely if you've never known them to spellcast, that they are spellcasting back on you. So...this generally unfounded. The spell should not do the opposite of what was intended.
"What if this doesn't work/What if the Universe says no?" Admittedly, both are possible. The spell not working is more likely than the Universe stamping a big no effing way on your request. So, you can try again, and assume perhaps the fault was yours when casting the spell. Still people do fear (and I mean neurotically fear to the point of anxiety attack,) that this minescule chance of the Universe saying "NO!" to their request is going to happen, to which I say, it's also possible that I might lose my little toe because someone steps on it when I'm wearing open toed shoes while in a public place, but that hasn't stopped me from wearing open-toed shoes, and your fear of the Universe saying no to your request is about as valid as someone being afraid to wear sandals to Wal-mart lest some errant shopper remove a toe. It could happen, but it's not really worthy of anxiety because it's not nearly as likely as people like to project it as being. The biggest cause of spell-failure is the fault of oneself and not the Universe.
"What if this doesn't happen by the time I need it to happen by?" Deadlines cause anxiety. Anxiety is a form of fear. So...the best thing you do is to give yourself a comfortable amount of time in which to succeed if at all possible. Obviously, we are all going to have situations where something has to manifest by a very particular time, or it won't be helpful...such as court cases or paying particular bills. My best suggestion to you here is to remind yourself that your growing anxiety is going to slow that manifestation down (if that makes you more anxious, probably you're not so well cut out for spellcasting,) that you're doing everything in your power to put the situation where you want it to be, and that by having confidence in yourself and your spellwork, you are most likely to succeed. I have also found if you can manage to set a deadline without an exact date (for example, instead of "March 2, 2011," you might say "Early spring 2011," or "Early March, 2011,") you will do much better if you haven't set a date to make yourself anxious by. I do understand if you have an appointment to show up at court or a due date for a bill, this isn't alway possible.
"What if I make the situation worse?" While it's doubtful you will worsen the situation, you may fear being at fault for what happens in the future. My suggestion here is to remind yourself that if you do nothing to try to improve the situation, you are guaranteed to make the situation remain just as badly as it currently is. That makes your persisting in this crappy place that you don't want to be in to be entirely your fault if you do nothing to change it. Since spells don't backfire, we can, right off, assume that the opposite to what purpose the spell was cast for is not going to happen. The real risk is that we might learn what it means to "be careful for what you wish for, as you just might get it." Well, if you really want a thing, if you go after this desire in the mundane without spells, you're just as equally likely to be disappointed in whatever it was you should have been careful about wishing for as you would have been to try to spellcast to get this thing - that is assuming the outcome ends up being a "be careful for what you wish for," type of desire. ;) For example, if you always wanted the romantic attentions of a person who you found physically attractive, only to realize once you have their romantic attentions that they are a tiresome bore - well, spell or no spell, that person is boring to you, and would be boring to you no matter what. They are not romantically compatible. You were going to charm them one way or another, spell or no spell, to find that out. You won't make fake love or a love zombie, so don't get me going on that fairy tale. Their interest in you will pass, just as yours passed with them. You can always kill the spell you cast if you are really eager to get them out of your space. You wanted contact from a person, so maybe you cast a spell to get that contact and they didn't have anything to say that you wanted to hear. I will bet you $10 if you had called that person on your own without a communication spell, they would still have the same stuff you didn't want to hear to say to you. You cast a spell for a job you thought you wanted, and it ends up it's harder and more stressful than you'd realized. If you'd just applied and by chance gotten the same job, it would be equally difficult and stressful, spell or no spell. Disappointment is not a probability, but it is a possibility. However, in most cases, people are more afraid of turning love to hate, work to unemployment, communication to silence, etc.
The above is the tip of the iceberg, but I think I hit some of the more common fears in most types of spellcasting...but, of course, the most common offenders on the fear-sphere are those with love and reconcilation problems. I've found people fear losing a person they already broke up with (um, you already lost them, so no need to fear, it's happened,) they fear the spell won't manifest, they fear they won't want what they asked for, they fear change in the situation (this is recon people mostly, and the funny thing is that they fear change since the last change was the break up which was painful,) they fear the passage of time, they fear the spell won't manifest how they want it to (like it will manifest in some really off way,) they fear the spell will "backfire" (someone could reverse it back onto you, but this is incredibly unlikely and spells do not "backfire," on their own,) they fear those they perceive as rivals, they fear those they perceive as enemies...I could keep going, but I won't bore you. Their fear often fuels their anxiety and neurotic worry. Their anxiety and neurotic worry (thinking the spell to death, anyone?) generally kills their spell or slows manifestation.
If we were to take a glance into my inbox, we could see all levels of fear. I'm going to give some examples of things I've seen...
For example, if I say to a certain type of person, "Oh, it will take probably about 4 weeks," this person contacts me on exactly the 28th day, generally to the minute I said "about four weeks." I swear some of you sit there with a stop watch. ;) About four weeks could actually mean like... 31.45 days. It could mean 26.8 days. "About" doesn't mean exactly. About means approximately. About does not mean "up to" it means "approximately." Ah, the time anxiety people... They are their own worst enemies. Until you relax and let the energy go, and give up your fear of time passing...you're likely to keep waiting, and generally because you're doing that to yourself. It's horrible to watch these people keep lengthening their own wait, but if you're constantly (and I mean more than like...every 10 days,) checking the time against how long you think you should be waiting, you're probably slowing manifestation.
Another type of issue I find is someone who is so afraid of their spell having some negative effect (generally one which is terribly unlikely,) that they begin assuming everything "bad" in their life is because of the spell. The winner (if there is such a thing,) of the award of "projecting my fear of something bad happening because of my spell, even if it's obviously an unrelated event," goes to the girl who asked me for a reconciliation spell, then in the middle of my casting said spell, told me her dog had died and it must be the fault of my spell. If you're wondering, the dog was very old, and eff no was my spell the cause if the dog's demise. In this case, the person's fear of something bad happening is likely slowing the spell energy's manifestation. (This same person also accused my spell of making her fat, and accused my spell of making her not sleep.)
There are the people who are so anxious about the spell beginning to manifest, that they shoot it in the foot. For example, one person told me they had broken up with an ex about 8 months. Finally, they began to see some manifestation around the 6th month of their spellcastings (which given what I know of the situation wasn't bad for a newbie spellcaster.) When the target was like "Hey, I miss you!" this person was all over them and asking when they were moving back in. They were so scared "that the spell would end and everything would turn back to what it was the instant manifestation started, so I figured, better get this 'in the bag as fast as possible,'" that this person scared the target off by being "too much too soon." (Thanks JF for allowing me to share this, btw.)
I've seen people fear any sort of uncomfortable situation to the extent that they will avoid the target, or avoid an interviewer, or avoid a boss because they are afraid the person might say something they don't like. In doing this, they also avoid what positives may come of having contact with that person.
Many people have reported regular social networking/Facebook spying, where they will look on someone's page to confirm or refute that someone is seeing someone else or communicating with a possible rival or doing anything at all. :P Fear-based spying. Awesome. And what happens when someone says "Hey, I see you visited my profile 361 times in the last 3 days...can I ask why?"
The list is endless... The point of my lengthy discussion on fear? Where is it getting you? It's giving you a longer wait on spell manifestation. It's stressing you out needlessly. It makes you behave unreasonably. It can keep you up nights. It's making you worried about events that might not happen. It's hurting you, it's hurting your spell...and it's not making things better for you.
To successfully spellcast, you need to have courage to cast the spell, courage to make the wanted changes, and the faith that it will happen.
I don't know if this was helpful or just me ranting on fear and anxiety since I have the misery of watching it slow and impede spell manfestation on a daily basis. I do hope it helped (my theory being if you realize your fear isn't helpful, and the possible source of your fear, you can begin to overcome it,) and if it didn't help, at least I got the lecture out of my system so I could go forth and write non-lecturey or less lecturey things. ;) Seriously, I could not make an article until I vomited forth this lecture. I kept going back to how useless fear was in everything I wrote (it was like a bad penny that kept coming up)...and in articles where it was rather unrelated to the spell I was discussing. Apparently the chorus of "Cat it's been 2 hours since I received a text message - is my life over?" got to me and I had to spew a lecture.
So...at the least, I feel better. ;)
~Cat
You know the copyright notice - no copying and pasting, and no copying.
I also have contact guidelines.
And if you have a lot of occult questions, this is generally the best place to look first.
Hamsterball pic by Xsamix, Atrax robustus spider via GNU, scared face guy from the free domain.
Hey Cat!
Thanks so much for this post, I know this is not the 1st time you have told us this. But its a good reminder. Well thanks again! have a great day!
Posted by: Christine | November 23, 2010 at 02:46 AM
I know, I have to repeat myself a lot. ;) Many people won't even look off of the front page because that takes too much effort. ;)
Posted by: Cat | November 23, 2010 at 08:48 AM
Hey Cat, thanks for the lesson about the need to kick fear in the butt. Fact is, most of us need a refresher course now and then. ;-) I'm somewhat new to this blog and haven't read everything on it, so this post doesn't feel repetitive at all, and in the meantime, I am thoroughly enjoying making my way through your writing!
Posted by: Annemarie | November 23, 2010 at 07:41 PM
Great post Cat! It was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time. Thanks!
Posted by: Denise | November 24, 2010 at 02:14 PM
Hey, Cat. I have never purchased a spell from you before; only a reading, about three years ago (LOL). But I love your blog--it's a wonderful resource, entertaining and informative. I don't always agree with everything you say, but I respect you for your integrity and always sticking to your guns. You are trustworthy; a lot of people think trust is just about being honest, but it goes beyond that...it's also about being dependable, holding yourself accountable ('cause after the age of 18, no one else will! Mmm, learned that the hard way), and even setting personal boundaries and maintaining them. You are a terrific role model in all of those respects.
So, today--on Thanksgiving ;)--I just wanted to thank you for keeping up your blog and for going the extra mile to help and educate people.
BUT...I do hope that you take care of yourself, too. I have no doubt at all that you're constantly interacting with fearful people...and it has to have some effect on you, eh? If someone is coming to you for any reason other than wanting to invite something new into her life, she's already feeling the fear.
Anyway, I'm glad that your house feels better and lighter now. :) And I'm glad for everyone that you aren't intimidated by fear (and that you must have way more patience than most of us will ever get a chance to see or understand). And I'm grateful that I can read this blog whenever I feel like it, and count on it to teach me all sorts of neat things and make me laugh. Hope you are having a lovely Thanksgiving with your family, and again: THANKS!
Posted by: Sam | November 25, 2010 at 09:56 PM
There are numerous reasons people scare themselves. It's definitely irritating to have a ton of folks thinking it's my job to make them stop scaring themsleves when they all come at me at one time, but there's a pretty constant level of 3-4 people at once in my client list giving me that trouble, so at that level, I'm accustomed to it.
So, no I wouldn't put scared people as the biggest effect of me in regards to my job.
Someone feels fear when they contact me. That's either a backwards compliment or an insult. I'll have to think about that. ;) I should hope no one is afraid when they contact me.
If you meant people feel fear when they cast a spell, then... While I might understand newbies feeling some exhileration, feeling fear of the spell is going to harm the spell. It's like driving a car - the first few times you get behind the wheel, you might have some nerves, but if you still have that feeling once you've become acclimated to the process of driving and operating a car, you probably shouldn't drive. ;)
What in particular do you disagree about with me?
As for Thanksgiving...I hate the holidays but unfortunately for my enemies, I made it through turkey day just fine. ;)
Posted by: Cat | November 28, 2010 at 02:15 PM
Great post cat! another learning today.
Posted by: Flight Lessons | June 03, 2011 at 01:56 PM