I've seen the meme following around the internet that an askhole is a person who asks your advice and does the opposite anyhow. I get something similar to that in my inbox frequently from a few people.... So I sort of came up with something. Think of it as a play in 1 act. ;)
I was thinking of entitling it Grouchy Rootworking Asshole VS Ignorant Askhole, because I never said I can't be an asshole, too, lol, but felt this title worked better....and I stress 95% of those contacting me DO NOT fit the "askhole" profile, and can expect much gentler treatment. ;) Furthermore, I'm being gentle in portrayal of said askhole...this usually goes on for a few hours, and consists mostly of the person asking for my opinion, then telling me when they get my actual opinion that I'm wrong, regardless of anything I say to back up my own opinion. :P
Interview With The Askhole
Askhole: (Emails link and writes) "Cat I know that's a demon. Why would you tell people to work with demons. That's not safe."
Cat: "No, it's not safe for noobs to work with demons, and I'd not tell them to, but the spell you're referencing doesn't use a demonic spirit."
A: "Well what is it then?"
C: "I think spoke on that a few years back, did you read my article?"
A: "Not exactly, but I read this or that on a site that might be considered dubious, and I wanted your perspective. How about you tell me what you think it is."
C: "OK...well, here's 4 pages on my belief on the matter" (gives long essay) "so that's what I think that is, why I have that conclusion, and why my theory is one I reached through my own experience, and not just from an article where...judging from the content and style of writing, that person is bordering on hysteria who wrote it."
A: "Huh....well you're wrong. It's a demonic spirit."
C: "Have you ever cast a spell before?"
C: "This spell you're referencing? Done that one?"
A: "No, I never tried it."
C: "How many spells do you think I've cast in my life?"
A: "I don't know."
C: "Thousands, tens of thousands, maybe even over a hundred thousand? ...hard to say. But I'm glad you know better than me because you read poorly-researched information on the internet on some site. I've based my opinion on years of experience with using that very spell repeatedly, but I guess your whole 30 minutes of research on the matter before contacting me has made you far more of an expert on the matter. ;) Huh. Impressive. Anything else you can teach me? ;)"
A: "You don't need to be such a dick."
C: "Have you ever read anything I wrote?"
A: "Your emails."
C: *sighs* "Try reading things I've written online. I'm not well known for my patience with the willfully stupid or those who ask my opinion just to naysay me. You're welcome to your opinion on the matter, but I see no point in asking for mine just to say it's wrong."
A: "That's not very nice of you, and I'm not stupid, thanks. I merely wanted to know why you would tell people to work with a demon."
C: "If you've never read my writing, how do you presume I'm doing just that? I don't tell people to work with demonic spirits in anything I've published so far as I know."
A: "I came across a link to an article of yours about it, and so I did read that one article...well parts of it-"
C: "I see. So the very article where I describe in the comments what I just wrote you an essay about earlier. That one?"
A: "I didn't read the comments."
C: "Well, I've said all I have to say on the matter, then, and you just told me I was ignorant for having my opinion, so...that's a moot topic now. This is turning into a circular argument that's just getting contentious, and you want to think whatever you want to think. So fine by me. Done discussing it. Any more questions?"
A: "Will you call me stupid again?"
C: "Possibly, but if you have an open mind and are asking after my opinion to LEARN something, I probably won't."
A: "I see. OK, how long does (name of spell) take to manifest?"
C: "There is no blanket answer for that question. Can you give me more details on the problem? I don't even know the situation."
A: "Oh, so maybe if I used this other spell (link) it will work faster than the other one?"
C: "Same problem. I have no idea what the situation is or even if that spell would be one you should use."
A: "OK, so can you recommend a spell for me? My ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago. We're straight. That enough info?"
C: "The gay or straight part has little difference to efficacy of a reconciliation in most cases, but no that's not enough info for me to even start to recommend a spell-"
A: "Well maybe you need a reading then. What are the costs and what types of payment do you accept?"
C: "I probably don't need to do a reading, and you just asked me the first question in my FAQ, as well as the cost of something clearly advertised on my business site."
A: "Are you going to answer the question?"
C: "Sure...(gives current costs of readings and types of payment accepted)"
A: "That's too much money, and you're not even answering my questions, so I'm not interested."
C: "Cool. So please don't contact me again, okay?"
A: "Why, I did nothing wrong?"
C: "You just wasted a bunch of my time for no compensation so you can tell me you know more than I do, which is clearly not the case since you can't even locate a clearly listed price or question #1 in an FAQ. You obviously think you know everything anyhow, so it's not like you need my opinion or advice."
A: "I asked you some simple questions. You know, there is no need to be so rude."
C: "You're the asshat asking me for my advice or opinion just to contradict it, taking hours of my day up with no compensation for my time, and I'm rude?" (thinks) Hmm, I am actually a bit rude. Still, better than being an askhole. Have a nice day."
A: (sends 100 emails about what a bad person and big meany your old friend the NinjaCat is.)
C: (deletes all of these emails without looking at them.)
Hope this was humorous and educational AND that it didn't scare too many of you. I stress that 95% of the people (or more) who contact me, are not "askholes" nor do they need to worry I think so. Practitioners for hire can probably relate. ;)
iPhone pic w filter done by friend using Instagram, text added later by me. Please do not use or distribute w/o permission, even though I can't figure why you would want to. ;)
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