Hey there occulties,
Some of these are, sadly, repetitive, and I realize that, but I get them repetitively. ;) In an effort to stop repetitive questions, I'll just put them up here. Sorry for any review, long time readers. :/
Q: I had a reading from (some reader) about 2 months ago, and nothing [the reader] said happened as she said. Does this mean she's a bad reader?
A: No. People don't seem to realize that the future is relatively fluid. For example, if I tell you right now, if you leave your home at 3pm today, that at 3:10, a chunk of something falling off of a plane will drop from the sky, crushing you, then...well, you'll probably delay your plans, therefore negating all of my prediction. Certainly, if something falls from a plane onto the ground (just not upon you,) at 3:10, and you are made aware of it, that would lend some credence to what I've said, I still know people who would say my predictions are wrong.
That's a bit more cut and dried than relationships though, so let me give another example. Let's say a woman comes to me and says "I love this guy Chip with all my heart, but I do not feel as if he loves me back. Is he interested? Can anything happen?" So I look, and it seems that Chip feels some snuggly feelings as well, he's just incredibly shy and has a hard time expressing his feelings. So I tell the querent this, and she immediately goes into throwing herself at Chip's head. Well, Chip is shy, but that doesn't mean he finds her behavior attractive or inviting - in fact, her behavior puts him off and now he dislikes my client and avoids her. She reacts to his avoidant behavior by outright stalking him, and now he does not want her one bit. Had she merely been a bit more flirtatious (not at a level where she is just shy of full on illegal sexual harassment,) Chip would have probably opened up and there could have been a relationship. However, her exaggerated behaviors, her pushy demeanor, and many other factors have alienated Chip. That would not make my reading "wrong," but rather she took the information given, and she did not act in an appropriate way to draw her intended in. Had I never read her, she might have kept it at a level where he would have finally said something, or had she shown any social skills, he probably would have told her he "likes" her, too.
The future is fluid. If you do not like an outcome, ask what you can do to change it. If you like an outcome, ask your reader how to make it come to be. Do not just give yourself the idea that no matter what you do, this thing is going to happen, like it or no.
Also, don't be the dick that goes to a reader saying "Your reading was wrong." I don't really think people understand how churlish that actually is. It is a bit like going on a date with someone, treating them to the nicest time possible but not seeing them again, and then being told 3 months later that you're a stupid fuck for bringing them to that steakhouse, and it wasn't a super date anyhow, - and just saying that out of the blue. Look, if someone is not a right fit for you, or you feel they were off base, the proper behavior isn't to tell them later that they were inaccurate (that's like telling someone who took you on a nice date and was never rude to go eat shit months after the fact for no reason just other than you're a fucking asshole,) but rather you should just employ a different reader next time. Even the best reader will be wrong sometimes, and the person who is my dream client - someone I could read easily and I'm always right and who is a gem of a person to work for - is someone's nightmare client who they can't pick anything up on and who they hate interacting with. If that reader did their best and you weren't impressed, just employ someone new - it was probably mutual on both sides and the reader found your energy hard to read.
Q: Can spells do the opposite of what they were intended to do?
A: No, not really. When someone tells me something did the opposite (turned love to hate, money to poverty, success to failure, etc.) I know they don't understand spells. You CAN get a reaction from your work which was unexpected, but the ludicrous idea passed around that it will do the opposite of what was intended is not true whatsoever.
Since most of my questions involve relationships, let's start with love magic. If Sam loves Betty, and uses love magic on her, why would she be coarse or unfriendly later? Is that the spell? No, in fact, it might be that the spell either did not work (possible) or that it did not do what was hoped (partial manifestation,) and in the meanwhile, Sam acted an ass and alienated Betty in the process.
In the case of money, if I use a money spell to increase my income, and then I go spend tons and tons of money on things I don't need, I might find myself poor when my money spell only increased my monthly income by $500, but I'd spent ten times as much.
In the case of success, again - making bad business decisions does not mean your success spell will negate the effect of these bad decisions you made after said spellcasting.
If you truly believe a spell did the "opposite" of what was intended, it's time to stop blaming the spell, and start looking at your own actions. Sure, you might have experienced spell failure (that can happen) or even a partial result, but what did YOU do to make this situation happen? Think for a moment as if the spell had never been cast. How did your actions create this outcome? When I experience these problems - that is getting an outcome I did not spellcast for, - I look at my own actions first. Normally the main cause of my own problems is (surprise, surprise,) me. While that might upset some of you (that you might be the author of your own miseries,) I actually quite like it if the problem is something I've done or am doing, because I can control myself, and that's an easy fix.
Q: What do you mean when you say "have realistic expectations?"
A: Spells are a bit like putting the odds in your favor. So if we spellcast upon a set of dice that they will always make the number 7 when rolled together, you should notice more 7's coming up. While that may very well not do much for you personally (who the fuck cares if those dice make the number 7 when added together,) that could make a gambler who plays craps quite happy.
In fact, realistic expectations are the key to success in just about everything. In the mundane world, there are those who think a skillful plastic surgeon will make them look great, and they end up looking like the Joker. The reason is often the client wants far more than modern medicine can give - the expectation is not realistic. If I'm 82, trying to look 22 is going to be near impossible, no matter how tight they pull my skin, and the more they pull my skin, the funnier my face will likely begin to look. While a skillful surgeon will warn you this will be the like outcome, there are those who won't listen and will pay the price. But, if I were 82 and I wanted some neck skin taken up, some jowls lessened, and to look younger, a skillful surgeon won't make me look 22, but he or she could definitely take many years off of my age without me looking like the Joker. The person with realistic expectations will look better - the person who is incapable of setting a realistic goal will look horrible.
Don't get me wrong - sometimes it's a matter of taking STEPS to get to that goal. When someone comes to me and says "Cat, I want to marry this person who is alienated from me, who won't speak to me, who may even hate me, and we've been contentiously broken up for 4 months, during which time I've been stalking this person, pleading with them, and sending them further away," I am going to tell that person that I can't help. You should not be even considering marriage until you're in a secure, happy, long-lasting relationship. Now, is it OK to want to reconcile this person? See if you can be their friend? Maybe even try to get in their good graces enough to be their girlfriend or boyfriend? Yes, that is a good FIRST STEP, and maybe, just maybe, you can reconcile this person and when things start to develop, you might think about marriage several months or a few years down the line. If you're already miles away worrying about marrying this person who would probably rather remove their own eye than be near you, however, you're the 82 year old thinking if you just pay someone to pull your skin tight, you'll actually literally turn 22 again...not even that you'll look 22, but that you'll actually BE 22. Your head is so deep in fantasy (and not because it's something you can NEVER have, but because you insist on speeding past steps you MUST TAKE in order to POSSIBLY have that thing,) that you're beyond anyone's help.
Some of you who are my long time readers may remember I had a woman some years ago asking if she could have a spell which would make her a surgeon. She had a GED but not even a high school degree achieved in the classic manner. For my international readers, a GED means you quit high school but took a test so you could get a high school degree after that. Many colleges will not accept these, not unless you attend a community college for a few years after that. They are often considered "less than" a high school degree (or at least were back in the day when I went to college, and dinosaurs still ruled the earth.) So, this woman wanted me to wave a wand and instantly make her a surgeon, and was absolutely affronted when I told her I could help her get into college for a pre-med degree, but she'd have to take all the course work in that college, then get her masters and finally her PhD, which would take some time. She is very much the same as these people insisting they wish to marry a person who'd rather eat glass and razorblades than date them, and that I must make this person want to marry them.
So, realistic expectations are you looking at your sphere of availability (that which you can have without magical efforts or without much stronger effort in the mundane than you currently apply,) and trying to reach just outside of that. If I can't have this fellow's love, but it's a matter of getting him to forgive me for some wrong, I start by working towards his forgiveness. I do not slap a marriage spell on him and assume that will do jack or shit. I am so many steps away from that, that to do a marriage spell on him would be relatively pointless.
Take your end desire - that is what you wish to accomplish, - and that ultimate want looks to be 4 or 5 steps away from where you are now, start with step one, not step 5. Keep your expectations as being not so far from where you currently are as to be millions of miles from you. With realistic achievements you can usually reach your goal, - AND keep in mind, you might get to "step 3" only to realize that you no longer want your original intended outcome (it happens more often than you think.)
Q: You said you would give some information on cursing some time ago - can you give me a few pointers? I am reasonably sure my target knows magic.
A: With a target who knows magic, my first advice might surprise you. If they are not an immediate danger - which is to say they are made of more hot air than they are spellcasting ability, - do not hit right away. Wait until they think that they are "safe." While I also don't brook disrespect well (and your antagonist will probably cluck about saying you did nothing to them,) when they have their defenses down (in other words, when they aren't praying and working and praying you don't hit,) and they think they are safe, you will take a much larger chunk out of them when you DO hit. Yeah, it involves you looking like an asshat and taking some abuse, and I hate that, too, but...the outcome is well worth it.
If you really have to hit RIGHT NOW, remember - cursing is often seen as a "you problem" - meaning, not too many of your friends (that cast spells) will want to put their hands on this problem and curse this person with you, - but you should, if you can, have your friends go after this person so they do not know who to reverse it upon (and most people are incredibly inept at reversing, so the not knowing who their antagonists are is very much going to confound them.)
Assuming you're hitting now, and going alone - IF YOU CAN, attack through the flesh. No, I don't mean stab someone. ;) I mean, find where they live, and make sure they touch or walk through something like Goofer dust. Send them a bill or a gift or something which in no way is traceable back to you (mailing a flier from a charity works nicely,) and make sure they touch this concoction named for them. This way, you've actually hit them physically... Think of it like... if I use remote work (like candle magic) where my target is not coming in contact with an item, then this is a bit like saturating the air with smallpox - but my target might have immunized him or herself against this illness, so my work will probably be ineffective. However if I trick through the skin, this is like me sending a blade or bullet at them. They might deflect it, but there is no "immunization" against what I am sending.
While I can continue to offer some hints here (several more,) I have stalkers on my blog (stalker-Jennifer, anyone? Oh, and Jenny, no, I'm doing just fine, but thanks for hanging out to see if misfortune has befallen me so you can write me some rude disgusting shit to me when and if it does,) and Lord knows I don't need a woman who's been stalking me for at least five years to get any bright ideas about what she can do to cause me misfortune so she can masturbate to my unhappiness. ;) I'm pretty sure it wouldn't get through, but no need to teach my own antagonists some new tricks.
Q: I don't like my best friend's boyfriend. He's a jerk. What can I do to make them break up or make her see what a jerk he is?
A: This is the part where you don't like me. Is your best friend happy with her boyfriend? Is it that you want to bang the boyfriend? Is it that you and the boyfriend don't get along, but she's happy? I mean, obviously, it's not any of your fucking business who this person dates, nor is it your place (especially when you're not romantically interested in either party,) to interfere here, so what's the real reason? I'm going with that either this boyfriend made your friend stop hanging out with you as much (so you're jealous) or he doesn't like you very much (you're hurt and insecure.)
If the problem is that your friend is spending more time with the boyfriend than with you, and you feel hurt by this, try speaking to your friend and saying how much you miss hanging out. It's not magical, but you'd be surprised how being clear about how you feel is likely going to do a lot more than lighting candles in the dark and chanting (and it will work faster,) if you're feeling abandoned or jealous. Do not accuse, do not tell your friend what he or she is thinking, but rather say something like "Look (person's name,) I really miss hanging out with you, and I feel as if ever since you started dating (boyfriend's name,) that we don't spend as much time together as we used to. I realize that there is a point in the beginning of a lot of relationships where you spend all of your time with your new squeeze, but I feel as if you aren't interested with keeping me in your life, and I'm kind of hurt. If it isn't too much to ask of you, can we please hang out a bit more, like we used to?" Something of that nature will probably solve the issue.
If the problem is that the boyfriend doesn't like you, and this is cramping your relationship with your friend, try working a sweet jar on him to make him warm up to you. Instead of trying to force him out of your friend's life, you're probably best off on becoming friends with him yourself. That way, if your friend is truly happy with this person, you're not interfering with that just because you're selfish. Instead you're trying to make sure everyone is happy.
And if you're really incapable of not micromanaging someone else's life or assuming your needs are more important than anyone else's, then go work some break up magic on them or something, and feel smug when your friend is sobbing their eyes out. I don't really recommend that route, but there are those of you who would do that regardless of my advice. ;)
Just keep in mind, whatever you do, that your not liking this person does not mean they are a bad person. It means you don't like them and you see their "faults" because your view is skewed to not like them. They may also dislike you in the same way and see your faults. If it's a matter of you both having to interact because you mutually love someone, it's often better to make peace with this person and try to like them.
Q: How are things after that fire?
A: Well, it was and has been worse than I'd suspected it would be. I never was able to take any break from work. The day after the fire (so less than 24 hours later,) I was still dealing with people who felt that someone not liking something on Facebook was a reasonable problem that meant more than me losing more than half of my earthly possessions. And the problem there was, I have never had a person to pick up the slack for me if I need a break, and I didn't then either, so I had to deal with it. Emotionally I was pretty traumatized, but I never had a chance to deal with my own trauma. I literally worked through it (as in I worked a full time job without having much time to worry about myself.)
That would be bad enough - and it was the cause of the insurance company who did not pay me until 2.5 months post fire, - but to add insult to injury, I have had people in my home literally non-stop. I hate people in my house when it's whole and not burned up, so that didn't change when it wasn't whole and was burned up. I hate people going through my stuff. Part of the process is people literally going through everything you own with a fine-tooth comb. So, I worked with horrible loud noise, constant disruption, no sleep (I was really stressed and had a harder time sleeping than I normally do, and I'm normally an insomniac,) no privacy, AND I couldn't stop working because I had to build the business back quite literally from nothing.
Meanwhile most of my close friends were going through their own shit at the time, so my emotional support from them was next to nothing, and I can't blame them for that. Horrible divorces, cancer, sick kids, financial ruin - you name it, the people I love were going through it. If anything, I felt bad a lot of the time because I was so exhausted from what I was dealing with, that I felt like I wasn't being a supportive enough friend to those I love.
However, I could not express much of this, lest it be seen as "malingering" because apparently, if you don't immediately pull yourself up by your own bootstraps within 30 minutes of having most of your life ripped away and being thrust into what you would personally consider the worst level of hell, and then be told you'll be living this way for the next 3-4 months, then you're malingering.
Seeing how few spell supplies I even had left post-fire, spellcasting wasn't much of an option for me in the sense of trying to make things financially right...unless I wanted to fix a love-affair, or curse someone, neither of which really helped me because my love life was sound, and the only person worth cursing wasn't my primary concern at the time. The fire took a lot of my stock. :P
But the short answer is...now that most of the rebuilding is done, and I have this nifty cashier's check that is truly not enough to cover my loss, but better than the $0 I lived on for so long, - a check that I desperately needed months ago, - I'm finally doing much better, thanks! :)
Q: You've said before that "controlling methods" or "intranquility" might be a bad way to reconcile certain personality types. Can you expand on that?
A: Certainly. Basically, when you are working on a person, you must first take into account their personality - what makes that man or woman tick. If it's a person who tends to be combative and push back when told or commanded to do something which they do not want to, then you will find yourself having less success with controlling methods. If you tell your old friend Cat, for example, that if she doesn't eat her Brussels sprouts (EWWWWW, I HATE THOSE!) you won't give her dessert, ima gonna throw those sprouts right at your head, and cut myself a slice of cake. ;) Now, perhaps another person will begrudgingly eat said vegetable while eyeing the tasty dessert you made, but someone who won't be bossed (or reacts poorly thereto,) is not apt to be a good candidate for control work. They will subconsciously pick up the command (which is not to say that they will EVER consciously know what you did,) and they will become resentful, bitchy...even if they respond as desired.
With that in mind, if I COMMAND this person using controlling work to return to me, if they do return (because you can command return but not reconciliation,) you are not like to get their forgiveness, but you may find them in your life again. If you feel just having them in your life gives you enough influence to make that reconciliation happen, then go ahead and try. If you just need them present and listening to you, you might even effect the desired change. KEEP IN MIND, however, if they are the type who reacts poorly to being bossed, you may just be complicating the situation more. It is probably better with this type to warm up their emotions towards you (or cool down their anger, which ever suits better,) and use straight reconciliation type products as well (as opposed to commanding, or follow me boy/girl, etc,) to soften them, and encourage them to forgive you. They will not subconsciously feel bossed, rather, you are more apt to calm them, and give them insight into logically working out (as their feelings have softened) that it would be best for them to reconcile to you, rather than to make them feel bossed and combative for having subconsciously picked up on being commanded.
Now with intranquility, you would have to consider how much guilt is going to make a person react to what you want. Some people are not going to react no matter how guilty and sorry they feel. In fact, they may begin to resent the person they feel guilty for hurting rather than seek to reconcile with them. Guilt and regret are not powerful triggers for everyone, and if you're not very knowledgeable about who you're working on, you may just be pushing them farther away.
Working on another person may require you to have some insight on basic human psychology, as well as working knowledge of who your target is. You can keep throwing everything and the kitchen sink at them (well, magically, ) but if you find control and/or intranquility is not netting the desired result, change tactics.
Q: Why isn't this easier? Why isn't this like Harry Potter where I wave a wand and say words in Latin or something and instantly it happens?
A: Because anything worth having is earned - either through a lot of hard work and study, or just a lot of hard work. If it was as easy as stealing a magic wand from someone and saying a few words out of a dusty tome - if that instantly made you a master of the craft, - that would certainly make for some very Hollywood-worthy mishaps, like someone crying that they turned their boyfriend into a dragon, he ate his parents, and now he's wanted for murder. Fortunately for all of us, God coddles the stupid but rarely does the Almighty give the stupid much power (there are, of course, exceptions,) and he coddles the weak and lazy just enough to ensure they no longer die and starve to death like nature originally intended for the weak and lazy, but they also can't wield any real power, which, in so doing, saves the rest of us from becoming victims of their stupidity - at least to the level which we could if they had unbridled magical ability merely for stupidly stumbling upon a tool used in magic.
Also, it's because Harry Potter is a book or a movie. Entertainment barely mimics real life. When and if you get old and mature enough to realize this (probably because you work in an industry being portrayed in a movie or book, and it's being portrayed VERY VERY WRONG and not in any way it actually works or is,) you will stop thinking storybooks and special effects and such are real, and enjoy things like Harry Potter for what they are - something made to entertain people, not to educate them.
It's an answer a lot of dreamers don't want to know - learning to practice magic, to cast spells, and to be successful so doing requires HARD WORK, A LOT OF PRACTICE, A TON OF STUDY, and MORE HARD WORK AND RESEARCH.
That's all for now, kids. Hope to have some more new posts up soon! :)
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