I get a lot of questions about getting rid of bad neighbors. Hell, I've had a few bad neighbors before, and it can become pretty contentious, so I do understand. While I realize some of you are probably tiring of my tendency to go over what is possibly a review for you, I find that if my last post on something was some time ago (years, even) that it is the best idea to talk some basics again. ;)
First and foremost, the best way to deal with bad neighbors is really to try to address the problem directly without being a jerk. For example, "Hi (neighbor,) I hate to be the one who's being rude if I am, but this place is so poorly insulated, I can hear (this is a common problem with apartments, so it's usually any number of things,) as loud as if you're in my place or even louder. I realize you're not trying to be disruptive, but can you please try to keep the volume down a bit?" If you think your neighbor might react rudely, you may be right. In college, I had 2 girls living above me who I spoke to several times. Finally, I spoke to the manager. And lastly I was smacking the ceiling with a broom handle while they stomped back on the floor and laughed. We both grew to hate each other, obviously, and one day, one of the girls was like "Fuck, I need something, I'll ask the crybabies downstairs." We're all about 20 or so at the time, in our first apartments, so like many young people, relationships changed rapidly. Which one of them this was, I can't recall, but as she's sitting in my livingroom and I'm finding what she needed (I think it was a cleaning item of some kind) she suddenly hears her roommate in the hall and heading up the stairs... "THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP, SLAM 'Oh my gawd, that fucking professor just gave me a mother fucking d on my paper, and he can fucking suck his own dick! Ha, ha? right?' THUMP THUMP THUMP BANG THUMP BANG SMASH 'I don't know what, maybe because I don't wear slut clothes,'" and as the other roommate (sitting in my apartment) hears this racket, she turns in horror to me and says "That's how loud we are down here? Oh my God, I just thought you people were being dicks!"
"No, actually we were not. And it's louder in my bedroom." I hear her roommate upstairs turning for the door. And I motion the girl in my apartment to my room and have her sit there. Deafening noises emit from the stairs right over my bed.
"Oh, Cat..." the girl said, "I had no idea. Hold on." And so she gets her roommate, and has her sit there, and in my bedroom. This other girl is looking at me like I'm the worst person she ever met, mouth all squeezed up like she sucked on a lemon, as the first girl (who borrowed the item) goes up the stairs, and then puts stuff down and calls (me actually) so you can hear her talk up there. I watched as this second girl, annoyed to have to even lower herself to being in my presence, suddenly had her angry expression also turn to horror. And then she apologized. A lot.
After that, the four of us (my roommate, me, the girls upstairs,) were friends. We assured them that banging and smashing during the day was no big deal. We were awake and most of the time it wasn't problematic. It was how bad the building was, and we understood. They agreed that if we were sleeping or needed some quiet time to not get angry if we asked it of them. To whisper or keep it really low, and we said we'd call them - no manager - or come up and knock. Hell they even told their friends to be "soft footed" on the stairs. So, in many ways this worked out well, but it did take some time.
I did that without spells (obviously) - I took care of my "neighbor problem," but keep in mind, I did have to speak to these people, I did have to understand that much of what they were doing wasn't intentional (hilariously some time later, we'd bash the ceiling with the broom and they'd stomp back as a side of camaraderie now,) and they had to understand where me and my roommate were coming from as well. That's not always going to happen for a lot of people. Your neighbor might not think you're being fair, they might get defensive, it might get worse. BUT, you should still try to address the problem ONE ON ONE with the neighbor, using a polite tone, without being accusatory first.
If this person is churlish to you, doesn't want to listen, etc, there are other steps you can take.
So...before you spellcast:
- Speak to your neighbors. Explain the issue. If it is a noise complaint, you might even offer to let them hear from your side of the wall/floor how loud they are. Try to be kind and patient, even if they are a bit defensive. If it's about something next door, explain your side of the story, but be open to hearing theirs. MOST PEOPLE if approached by you in a calm, patient manner are going to be willing to at least take notice of your complaints and try to make the situation improve.
- If the person is defensive, rude or unkind, speak to the manager if trying to reason with the other tenant has failed. Maybe the other person is someone who is dangerous (or seems so,) and you couldn't complete step one, maybe step 2 doesn't figure because you have next-door HOUSE problems, but if one and two are possible, try the manager. If the manager won't help, even after 2-3 complaints, you may need to cast a spell. They might be fully aware of the problem, if you're a renter, and have never given one damn about the previous tenants complaints either, if it is a structural issue.
- Consider complaining to the police if you are living next door, and all reasonable attempts have failed. Now, this is a mixed bag. Sometimes your neighbor may be dangerous, and this might not be an option. However, sometimes a complaint to the police will straighten out a problem, and quickly. Be judicious with this move.
- Assess how easy it would be for this person to move. Are they ill? Elderly? Would moving to another location come with more difficulty than it should? If it would be easier for you to move (especially in a renting situation,) consider if you would prefer to move to another location rather than constantly fight off a game of "Who is the bad neighbor now."
Now those steps should help you realize if you SHOULD cast a spell, but as an added advisory, if you're constantly mean, rude and pushy to whoever (especially behind their back,) consider if YOU are the problem. All too often I get people complaining to me about their neighbor, and when I've read their complaint and spoken to them, it's obvious to me that I'm the one speaking to the bad neighbor, NOT to the person who has a bad neighbor. ;) I realize none of us want the epiphany that we're the bad guy, but it happens...sometimes you are the bad guy. ;) If this is the case, - seriously - look into moving. That apartment I mentioned above? I lived there for almost 3 years, and everyone who took the place of the last tenant had to be re-educated how loud it was. I'm sure I was kind of the bad guy there. I didn't want to be, and surely my location was the cause thereof (it was basically under 3 different apartments in that place,) but I had to be realistic and remind myself that most of the people there were in no way trying to antagonize me intentionally....and believe me, when someone wakes you up after some dental surgery to screech about being wasted (and it's 2pm) and you feel like you're going to die, it's really hard to be a nice chick (and I don't know if I pulled being nice off that particular time, haha.) If YOU are the one who can't let it go, and if you're getting more and more aggressive and angry...well, go find a new place or accept the faults where you are. ;) Seriously, - you might be the bad guy in this situation. I know a lot of you won't heed that, but it's worth pointing out.
It also might not hurt to do something like working a honey jar to improve relations between yourself and your neighbor. Remember, sometimes the best way to a peaceful resolution is getting your neighbor on your side.
If you're still thinking "This person must move" and you've read the other blog posts I've put up on the matter, try the following option to see if it can help you - and before I read "I need a substitution for x ingredient or action," the rule here is that the substitution is to FIND A SPELL ON YOUR OWN WITHOUT MY ASSISTANCE WHICH YOU HAVE ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR AND CAN DO ALL OF THE ACTIONS TO. Long time readers will remember when I had to put this on every spell for about a year. New readers? Yeah, that's still the rule in effect. ;)
Possibly the easiest method I know is as follows:
You will need
Hot Foot oil**
Hot Foot Powder (cayenne, sulfur, kosher salt, if you want to make that yourself)
A red candle
A scrap of paper
A black Pen
A fireproof container (optional)
A nail, pin, or sharp implement to carve a statement into the candle*
Black electrical tape
Inscribe down (wick to base) the candle the command "(Name of person you want to leave)* leave (address) immediately!" Anoint the candle DOWN (wick to base) using seven strokes of your hand while envisioning your antagonists vacating the premises. Sprinkle the candle with Hot foot powder while you say "(name of antagonist), suffer, burn, and writhe - have no rest or peace until you move far away from (address,)" repeating this a total of 9 times while sprinkling the powder.
Tear all the edges off of the piece of paper you are using to make an approximate square (I rarely use a surface larger than 3 inches by 3 inches, and often closer to a 2"x2" - I'm from the USA, so metrically convert that if you'd like, and I'll keep my Imperial measurements, haha,) and inscribe the target's name 9 times on the paper using the black pen, for example:
And cross this with the command "Vacate (address) immediately!" written nine times. This makes something like a tic tac toe pattern or hashtag pattern.
If you have an image of your target, place this on top of the paper, and fold them together, folding this away from you in half, then fold away from you again to quarter the paper. Set your candle so this is over the paper. If you need to put your candle into a candle holder, place the candle into the holder, and the paper beneath the holder. If you have a free standing candle, put this into a fireproof container (I like using cake tins and pie plates filled with sand) and the name paper beneath the container.
Light the candle, and hold both your hands on either side of the candle, and say "Leave (address) immediately, (name of target), - move away, stay away, IMMEDIATELY, IMMEDIATELY, NOW, NOW! Begone from (address), go as far from there as you can, - do not bother me or my family ever again! I conjure you, (name of target), to have no rest, no respite, no peace until you leave (address,) and move as far from there is you can go!" Repeat this a total of nine times. Then say "AS IS MY WILL, SO IT BE!" Allow the candle to burn out (yes, you can drop your hands and walk away when done with the chanting part, and yes, people do ask,) and when it has done so, within the next 24 hours, wrap the name paper in some black electrical tape to cover it, and throw it into the center of a crossroads over your shoulder, walking through those crossroads without looking back.***
If the target does not move shortly thereafter or show signs of beginning to move within 28 days (that is, you see them packing boxes, and/or hear they have signed a lease elsewhere) repeat as needed. I would do the work on a Tuesday. I am not a moon-freak, but if you are, probably during a waning moon is best. :) If you love planet hours, use the hour of Saturn. You might also use a Saturday, Mars-hour, waning moon. Emergency trumps moon-cycle, planet hour, and planet day, so do not get uptight if you don't understand this or cant comply with the lunar cycle, day of the week, or planet hour for some reason.
Now, I do believe I've offered a similar spell before, so I apologize if it is a review. :P I always get the "But I can't do x thing!" complaint with the neighbor spells, and probably I should think up a bigger post with more of them. I do find a lot of people are most comfortable with candle magic - it's remote (that is you don't need to make your target come in contact with it) work, it's usually only a few supplies, and it's easy for beginners.
That said, do try to consider some non-magical options first. Dealing with "difficult neighbors" is so often easier to resolve when you just speak to the neighbors regarding your problems that magic might not be something you need to do. You judge for yourself though. :)
Hope this has been helpful!
ALL CONTENT EXCEPT WHERE NOTED IS COPYRIGHT ORIGINALNINJACAT, AND CANNOT BE USED WITHOUT MY EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION. PLEASE DO NOT PUBLICLY LINK TO, COPY AND PASTE, OVERTLY PLAGIARIZE OR IN ANY WISE USE ANYTHING ON THIS BLOG WITHOUT GETTING MY PERMISSION FIRST. Plagiarists are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (and also to the fullest extent of the spiritual/magical ability with which I can go after them.) Please keep in mind, I offer a reward to anyone who spots a plagiarist of my work, and you will be caught. :)
*Obviously someone (or, most-likely, multiple someones) will ignore the "Go find a spell you can do all of the actions to," instruction because they are the kind of person who feels that doesn't apply to them (and in saying as much, I really hope anyone like that steps on a Lego today.)
Having been writing this blog for over a decade (and, at this writing, still innocent of killing the willfully-incapable-of-following-instructions group, which is surprising to even myself,) I am going to offer this substitution for people who insist on using a glass-encased candle (which is fine if you can alter stuff without help, honestly) or who, in some way can't figure out anyone's name and have absolutely no ability (either for imagined reasons or for reasons of actual danger,) to do so, for example by doing something like checking the person's mail, or anything like that, and who will not heed the warning to not ask for a substitution, thereby getting themselves cursed to step on Legos for bothering me by asking such a question. ;) (MAY A PLAGUE OF LEGO-COVERED FLOORS BEFALL THEE WHILST THOU WALK IN SHOELESS FEET!)
So, if you have a glass encased candle, you're going to want a Sharpie, in black. Write that command down (wick to base.) See how easy that was? Wow, I bet you feel silly that you almost asked. :) If you really want to get fancy, glue a picture of your target person on there, and write that down so it goes over their photo. Yes, use the Sharpie. Obviously you can't anoint the outside of a glass-encased candle, so set the candle as I've gone over in the blog, and sprinkle the powder into the mouth of the glass chimney very lightly while saying the command as noted above nine times.
Now, if you truly lack the self-reliance or confidence to get a name of a target (which I realize some of you are not courageous or problem-solvers, so you wouldn't be the first one with this "complaint," - and there will even be a very small amount of you with understandable fear in confronting your antagonist,) Write "All current residents and lessors of (address) vacate the premises immediately!" It's not going to be as effective as actual naming of your target, but then you don't have to come out of hiding and risk someone knowing that you had the audacity to find out the name of your own antagonist. Look, I get it, some people are actually dangerous. Most aren't, and if I'm being fair, most people who are so loud and rambunctious that you think your ears will bleed right off your head are going to sleep at some point (which is probably the only time they are quiet) so a quick peek at their mail won't be difficult if you wanted to snag a name...but look, that will work. The SOLE TIME I ever heard of this being ACTUALLY NECESSARY was when a crack/gang house moved in 2 houses down from my client's house. Basically, they were partying 24/7, and people were carrying guns. Seeing as I have heard tell of this a singular time after over a decade of serving the public and writing this blog, I am sorry if you are in that predicament. If it's any consolation, know that right now, there are 10 people reading this article who are afraid to speak to someone who wears boots in their house when they get home, or who likes to play piano concertos half the day, or who dared to have a toddler or child who's as loud as can be, and it's a little noisy, - and they think they have it as bad as you. See how much more strong and courageous you are, person dealing with dangerous people? You actually are the strong one. There are people who are scared to talk to someone who won't turn down a TV, or who likes to turn up a country-music station every day at 5pm, while you have gang-bangers going in and out shooting off guns at 2am, or some toothless scary people who are currently cooking meth who will kill you because...meth. Yep, seriously. So, take care of the crackheads/meth-heads without endangering yourself, and know you're a tough cookie, or hide out because you're too shy to ask someone take off their boots and you think it's scary. Whatever reason you need for this substitution. ;)
With the chant, name the person as "resident/s of (address)" - it really is that simple. Again, you want a name, but this will do.
**There is a A LOT OF FAKE SHIT out there. DO NOT buy your condition oils from cheap sellers, or people great with AdWords. At this writing, basically the ONLY person I know selling legitimate formulas - that is nothing synthetic or cheap or not just completely fake, is linked. Time may pass and this shop may no longer exist by the time you are reading (I am writing this in May 2016.) I do know a few shops great with AdWords and the products are sub-par or even downright not real formulas. Condition oils do need to be made by hand, not by machine. Please purchase wisely.
***A common question - one I don't entirely understand its source but have still gotten many times over the years, - is can you EVER look in that crossroads again (or at that spot again.) The idea of not looking over your shoulders as you walk away is to show determination. Obviously, if you pass through that crossroads the day after placement, you will probably be well-advised to look both ways before you cross. ;) That is fine. The idea is to throw the item into the crossroads, and keep going as if you don't care and did nothing and you are satisfied it is placed and your antagonist is going to pay for what they have done. If you truly hate the idea of leaving plastic tape over paper in a crossroads, and you lie awake at night wondering what if someone peels the tape apart and looks inside, instead do this. Mail this to a friend, and ask this person to just throw the item in a crossroads for you somewhere away from your hometown. Yes, you will probably have to tell them why they need to do this for you, but at least you are less apt to risk your "victim" ever discovering there is a name paper in a crossroads with their name on it. ;)