Hello my lovies!
It's time for another edition of questions you've asked me. While several (if not all) of these questions may be (and probably are) review for many of you, I do get them in my inbox enough even now for me to post them up for you again. :P If you have an original question or you have a concern, PLEASE let me know. While answering you one on one might be prohibitive on time, I'm usually more than happy to use it in an article, so if you're fine with that, let me know. :)
Q: I'm confused here - most workers I've spoken to say it's absolutely a bad idea to have multiple workers spellcasting on a situation, but then some say it's OK. If I've asked you or my worker if it's OK if I do (named spell) while they spellcast, they usually feel it's fine. What gives? Why is it "rude" or "dangerous" to have 2 or more spellcasters working on my situation?
A: In regards to it being rude, it is definitely poor form to have to professionals who are not co-consulting working on a problem. If I hire 6 lawyers for the same problem, and don't let each of them know they are all working together on this (because they don't even know each other,) I'm not only wasting their time, I'm wasting the court's time, and there is a lot of stuff being done multiple times, not necessarily more effectively. It also tells each lawyer (once they discover I've hired six for the same problem,) that I don't trust them to be competent in their duties. It actually says a lot of rude things to those I've hired without directly saying "none of you are competent or good enough to do this individually and I don't trust any of you." In reality, if you have a team of lawyers working on your case THEY ARE ALMOST ALWAYS FROM THE SAME FIRM AND WORKING TOGETHER, which, if you hire 3 spellworkers (with the intention to have them co-consulting, to which they agreed to co-consult,) they probably don't mind working as a team.
However, keep in mind, you DO NOT want the reputation of the client who runs all over the internet getting different workers on their problem. Most legit workers will not bother with you, and yeah, clients get reputations. There are a few people so awful, they are downright famous to spellcasters everywhere. Bad enough that several people are naive enough to believe review sites are helpful or real (and that gives your worker insight about you if it's your source for finding a worker,) but even worse when your name is already known and you have a bad reputation. At least workers don't post review sites about clients, and believe me, several of my readers would shudder in fear to see the most disreputable of the clientele some of us get if we workers reviewed clients online. So, there is a real risk of getting a bad reputation if you run all over the internet buying spells, and if you get that reputation, you'll only be serviced by people not doing the work (a.k.a., charlatans.)
In regards to it being dangerous, well it very well can be. Think of your case a bit like a medical problem. So, if you see 4 doctors, none of them aware that you are seeing all four, and take the medication each of them prescribes for your problem, understandably, you could die. Now, I've spoken with you all on this matter before, but it's basically that all spells have particular triggers. Let's say, for example, I do a spell to make your ex anxious and obsessed with needing to go back to you because you want him or her to come back and they've been digging their heels in hard about returning, despite admitting they still love you a great deal. Meanwhile you hire someone else and he or she does a spell to calm your ex, because he or she feels that part of the problem is your ex is too afraid of commitment. Maybe he or she does some love work, too, but he or she has used calming and healing and protective work, thus negating my trigger to send your ex back to you. While it's not "dangerous" there, it just rendered a ton of (expensive) work useless.
Some years ago, I had a client who was working with several people for the same problem/s she was having me work on. The problems were multiple here, but in brief, the client had several boyfriends, was working on all of them, and as best I can understand she had multiple workers on each man. So, while one worker would work a spell to make my client and boyfriend 1 be protected from outside influences and be the perfect couple, then another worker would cause lust in boyfriend 2 to have him chase her around, and then I'd be working this other fellow here to come back to her because he couldn't think to be with another woman. Well, guess what? Lawsuits, restraining orders, violence, OH MY! I don't know how many men this girl was seeing, but if one of her couplings was protected, as per the example, the other 2 were throwing themselves at her and getting angry and even a bit violent for being prevented from being with her. It was a huge mess, and the client would complain that her situation was worsening when she was the reason for it.
YOU SHOULD NEVER WORK WITH A WORKER WHO SAYS IT IS FINE TO HAVE OTHER WORKERS CAST SPELLS ON YOUR SITUATION WITHOUT CO-CONSULTING ON THE PROBLEM. While it may be a case of naivety on the part of the worker, because a lot of people starting out don't think about what can happen until they have a few spells they cast seem to go completely wrong for a client who's running all over the internet buying spells, you should still consider that the spellcaster in question is still too naive to know that multiple spellcasters WHO ARE NOT CO-CONSULTING can make your situation worse if they all spellcast upon it.
As for you working alongside me (or your worker) - if you're telling me what you're doing, I usually know if it won't interfere. ;) It's like asking your doctor if it's OK to take Advil with your medication. Your doctor would know if ibuprofen is going to effect your medication, just like I'm going to know if that spell you're doing is going to effect what I'm doing. There is a good chance it won't be harmful, sure, but best if you run it by your worker if it's OK for you to do some work, too, and then specify what work you'd be doing. :)
Q: Why do you instruct people casting curses not to "openly or in any way visibly antagonize the target?"
A: The idea is that you should not in any way be connected to the downfall of your enemy, so that you are blameless. If I rarely if ever say anything negative to or about so-and-so, no one will in any way assume I had anything to do with this person's downfall or misfortunes. If I am constantly on this person's case, I could easily be seen as a key player in their problems, and, through this, create problems for myself.
But it is also wise to consider that you could easily be getting in the way of the spell. If, for example, I wanted an enemy to be publicly shamed, and within a social group I inhabit, my antagonism of this person could make them hang out with the social group less often, therefore giving my spell less chance to manifest.
Q: Someone told me that you said the most stupid question during a reading is "Does s/he love me?" - but why?
A: Usually the answer is yes the person loves the person asking me if they do, but it has no bearing as to whether or not they are coming back, what their next action will be, if they will do what the querent wants, etc. I love a lot of people I don't speak to by choice, because we were toxic to each other, - but I love them all the same. I love people I will never date again, though I give them friendship. Love isn't enough to make something work, and the person asking it knows fully well the person loves them, they are just asking (often several times) during a reading because they want to be reassured while they complain. Does so-and-so love me? Oh, s/he does? Then why is so-and-so blocking me on social media? Why aren't they taking my calls. Well, that they love you doesn't mean they want to speak to you right now, for example. Loving you doesn't mean they always like you.
So, it's a stupid question because it has very little bearing on the rest of the situation - USUALLY. If the person asking it, and the person it is asked about, did not love each other, usually a reader wouldn't be taking that call.
Readers understand that you're sad and that you're insecure, but if you have to ask that (and many people do,) try asking some helpful questions that are not basically "how do people who feel love for other people do things I personally find hurtful?" because that is a philosophical discussion. ;) Instead, ask HOW can I get so and so to communicate with me, or HOW can I change this situation so he or she will change his or her mind about not coming back. USEFUL questions will make that reading worth your investment!
Just bitching that someone loves you but isn't doing what you want despite loving you is not really effective in helping you change your situation....and I think that is why most readers (myself included) hate that question. Yes they love you, yes they are being mean to you - would you like it to change? Then stop dwelling on that they can love you and be mean, and ask how to change the situation to improve your life for the better.
Q: Is Florida water for cleansing and keeping spirits at bay?
A: While I'd actually say you could use it in a cleansing sense depending on the type of cleansing you're doing, or use it in a blessing, spirits LOVE Florida Water, so using it to banish them is about as sensible as turning on the brightest light possible in an effort to scare away moths and other insects.
Q: Is it wrong to ask for money or additional income from money spells? Isn't that evil and selfish?
A: No, not at all. There is nothing wrong with wanting more income, or needing some extra money this month to cover your bills, or hoping you can have dinner tonight. How is that "selfish?" When a homeless person asks me for change, I don't feel they are being selfish in asking me for my help so they can eat tonight. In many ways, you're just asking the universe for something very similar. There is nothing evil in wanting to live more comfortably, or wanting to pay your bills, and in fact, it's a normal, non-selfish desire to want to provide for yourself and/or your loved ones. Perhaps that's an opinion, but I hope it is one people share with me.
HOWEVER keep in mind that spells to increase income rarely make for windfall amounts of cash. I've said it multiple times before, but I'll say it again - you'll find an increase in your finances, but if you expect $10k overnight when you work at a fast food restaurant and have no education and no specialized skills, you're very likely going to be quite disappointed when all that happens is you get 50 cents more an hour (because that's about the limit your employer has for giving you a raise,) or you're offered a job that will make you $3k more per YEAR than your current employer gives you. :P Maybe you'll win $50 on a $2 scratch off, and that's a 25x return on your investment so the Universe will be satisfied it gave you a really nice return on your request. $50 isn't going to get you too far these days.
Q: Does the particular shade of color of my candles make a difference?
A: I think so. A deeper (as opposed to lighter) shade of pink is more sexy and romantic than a pale pink in effect of energy. A yellowey-orange as opposed to a middle orange or red orange is superior for communication and friendship. I do not use pale violet for anything, though I presume it would be good to use with Goddess/Moon style workings.
Try to use a shade most suitable to your working, especially if it is a secondary (a primary color which is red, yellow, or blue mixed with another primary color, again - red, yellow, or blue to make a second color), or tertiary (a secondary color mixed with a primary to make yet another color) and unless you are specifically seeking pink, grey/silver, or light blue avoid colors which are not pure hues (not mixed with black or white) if possible. Tints (colors with white added) are not always as effective, in my opinion, but again, if you're trying to use pink (white and red) or light blue (blue and white,) you're specifically looking for a tinted color in that case, and that advice may not always be true.
I hope that helps, and that I was not more confusing. ;)
Q: I've seen you complain that people are overly-communicative, and so now I fear that I might be that way to my worker. Can you elaborate?
A: Sure. Basically, first understand that I learned spellwork and did all my own spells without anyone to cry to pretty much for the entirety thereof, so you're approaching someone who, through most of her experience, had no one to comfort, console, help, plan, direct, get any advice from, etc, so I already view the availability of speaking to your worker as a luxury I would never know. I would think - perhaps erroneously, - that most workers have a similar experience. This means when someone is plaintive that something is working slowly, I am concerned on the level of being a merchant and worker, of course, but on the other hand, it's often NOT working slowly, and what this person is doing is trying to get some reassurance, which becomes HUGELY IRRITATING when it happens frequently. Allow me to give an example.
Cat: So, don't contact the target.
Client: Did you mean I can't call so and so?
Cat: Yep, a call is contact.
Client: Does this include texts?
Cat: Yes, this includes texts as they are a form of contact
Client: What about commenting on their social media
Cat: That is also definitely a form of contact.
Client: So I can't contact the target?
Cat: Right, as I said, don't contact the target.
Client: But I haven't spoken to (target) in four days! Why do I deal with this? Is this normal? Do people really go for four days without speaking to the person that they love?
Cat: Yes, all of the time, and often without being upset about it. I have been in relationships where it wasn't abnormal to speak maybe once a week. I wasn't alarmed.
Client: But (target) used to speak to me every day!
Cat: Yes, because you lived together. Just don't contact the target.
Client: Are you sure?
Client: Are you sure you're sure?
Client: Cat, are you sure about that don't contact the target thing?
Cat: (doesn't reply)
Client: Cat? Why haven't you replied
Cat: You've been asking me the same question that the answer doesn't change to for the last 3 days. Don't contact the target. Don't contact the target. No, there is no exception, don't contact the target.
Client: You're mean. :(
Cat: You do realize I have 50 other people to talk to and I'm repeating myself to you constantly, right?
Client: Oh. So I can't contact the target yet?
Cat: No, don't contact the target.
Client: Does it normally take this long?
Cat: five days is not long
Client: What is a long time?
Cat: Multiply your current wait by 8. That might be a bit long.
Client: 13 days?
Cat: Multiply don't add. 5 * 8 = 40 days.
Client: Can I contact the target? At 40 day's wait?
Cat: Why don't you let me know if it's been 40 days and we will look into it.
If you think this can go on forever, it does. It's a huge waste of my time, and it's very annoying. It lets me know the client is thinking the work to death, that they have no respect for me or the rest of my clients whatsoever, and that they think whining will speed the work up, as if I'm the work and annoying me to death will change the outcome. It won't.
Then there is this:
Client: Cat, do you think (target) is difficult/special/strange, or that my situation is difficult/special/strange
Cat: I've seen similar many times before. I don't think so, no.
Client: Why would (person) do this? Why would this or that happen? How do spells work? How can I do this?
Cat: (3 pages of reassurance and explanations,) so I hope that puts your heart to rest.
Client: But why? WHY WHY WHY WHY?
Cat: I explained why.
Client: is there any hope?
Client: I had a thought today, I'm dying!?
Client: I had a dream last night!!!!!!
Cat: Look, you just need to relax and let things happen.
Client: I saw my ex's very common name on movie credits - IS IT A SIGN!?
That also goes on for weeks. And surprisingly, it's not actually my job to reassure you or deal with constant kvetching about your situation. Let's compare this to something else.
Patient: Doctor, what should I expect post-operation?
Doctor: Well, you're going to have tenderness and swelling for about 3 weeks. Over the counter medication should help.
Patient: Doctor is my body weird? Will I heal weird?
Doctor: No, you seem pretty average. I'm not worried.
Patient: I'm tender!
Doctor: Yes, as I said you'd be.
Patient: I have swelling!
Doctor: Yep, very normal.
Patient: I'm dying! I think I am rotting! Oh my God I HAD TO TAKE A MOTRIN! WHY!
Doctor: All very normal. You're not dying!
Patient: I had a dream I died! Is this scab a sign of gangrene! Do you know the capital of Luxembourg? My cat is named Mittens - is that weird! Can I call you at 2am!
Patient: I still am tender like 2 days later!
Patient: Is healing itchy!?
Patient: It's still red three days later!
Doctor: Yes, I told you it would be like this for up to 3 weeks. You have no gangrene.
Patient: Call me so we can talk?
Patient: Is it OK to pick this scab?
Doctor: Don't pick the scab
Patient: Can I pick it a little?
Doctor: NO, don't pick the scab.
Patient: I had a dream I died again. Am I dying?
And again, yes, this is no exaggeration. Even if you THINK it's important, it probably isn't. I've had 10 page emails over a 2 line text that had no deep meaning. I've had full novels written on someone's demeanor during a 60 second conversation. I've been told I'm supposed to reassure someone and give them a pep talk (actually that's not my job,) and then gotten a lot of shit from that person when I was like "I just tried twice to reassure you and pep you up, and you're still negative and draining, so deal with yourself, because 2 times in one day when it's not my job to do either was enough."
What your worker is there for is to cast your spell, answer a few questions about the spell, and give you directions. However many people get confused and think the worker is their best friend or something. It is not their job to think positively for you, it is not their job to "unscare" you when you worried yourself into a panic, it is not their job to reassure you and hold you and pet your head, and it's not their job to basically answer long philosophical discussions on spellcasting. You didn't hire a slave. You hired someone to cast a spell for you. That MOST workers don't mind a bit of reassurance and a few pep talks during the manifestation phase is true, but you should not ever be emailing someone frequently to complain.
If the spell doesn't work, most workers will ask a few questions to determine a possible reason, and you may even get a free redo...but if you cried, and whined, and complained the whole way through, you thought the work to death, and you probably annoyed the shit out of your worker...that's what overcommunicative clients do, and since you killed your own spell AND annoyed your worker to death, good luck getting anything redone for free. :P
PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE VAST MAJORITY OF CLIENTS ARE NOT THESE PEOPLE. I love most of my clients. They don't bitch a lot, they are patient, and they don't go out of their way to take up a ton of my time over trivial concerns or "I thought a thought today" type inquiries. They are strong people who have the emotional wherewithall and the intelligence to take care of themselves. But if you see yourself in any of the above examples - STOP BEING THAT PERSON. And you know why? BECAUSE WE CAN ALL BECOME THE WHINY HELPLESS PERSON, AND EVERYONE HATES WHINY HELPLESS PEOPLE. Get ahold of yourself, and try to stop being that person. I can become that person. That girl over there can become that person. This guy over that way could be that person, but we should all strive not to be. Yeah, if you have a valid problem or concern, have it addressed. If you're just contacting someone over every trivial thought, action, problem, etc...you're being unhelpful, annoying, and you're probably killing your spellwork, too. Simple as that.
If you don't want to be annoying, exercise self control, stop boiling yourself into a panic attack, and have the maturity to deal with trivial occurrences.
That's all for this edition of Questions You've Asked Me. I ***MIGHT*** be running the Questions You've Asked Me Contest next month, so stay tuned.
As always, all content on this blog is copyrighted and can't be used or reproduced without my express permission.