Hey my dear Occulites,
Before you get into today's Q&A, I just wanted to let you know that "Neverfold.net" has hijacked my link (despite 5 requests to REMOVE IT,) and has put it on their gambling site. ;) Glad to know that not only are they using my copyrighted name, they are also trying to send gamblers to me. Please note: If you sell your house, family, or life to a casino so you can gamble more, I want NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! So, gamblers are welcome on my site, but degenerate gamblers are not. Past that, we're all good! :D
Alrightey, let's get to it.
Q: How many times should I cast the same love spell on a person, without them showing any effect, before I try a new one?
A: I think twice is the right number. Why 2 times? Because several of my readers are new to spellcasting and may or may not have messed up some part of the spell on the first try, making said spell flounder. Even at my experienced level, I often try the same spell twice... I mean, maybe I thought it to death, obsessed, or in some manner worked against my spell. Like you, I am only human!
Furthermore, if the target is effected, but the petitioner "messes up" and loses their target again through their own actions (stalking, coming on too fast, arguing, etc,) this is NOT spell-failure... In fact, this is failure on the part of the petitioner to change themselves in such a manner as to prevent the relationship from falling apart for the SAME REASON IT FELL APART IN THE FIRST PLACE!! That's not cool. :S If you came on too fast, or you obsessed, or you fought with your target, you need to address your actions as well as that of your intended's actions. Relationships are not just about one person, and if they are....a one sided relationship will fall apart quickly!
So if you "messed up" your manifestation with bad behavior, but had a good result from your spell before doing so, try the same spell again. It worked the first time. ;)
Q: I am seeking help for a "commitmentphobic" party, and...
A: Stop right there. ;) As a fellow commitmentphobe (who is still able to commit but fears the s*** out of it all the same,) I can tell you that commitphobes have only one true fear, and its not dating you (well, maybe - are you nuts?) Nor is that fear REALLY committing. In fact, commitmentphobia is more a fear of rejection than anything else. Sure, we commitmentphobes are usually (not always) outgoing, fun to be with, and whatnot, but in the end we fear settling or settling down because if that person REJECTS US FIRST, or dear me, we are going to just have made a bad choice, and all of that comes from the fact we let ourselves get duped and trust that person, etc, etc. See, it looks like a fear of commitment, but its more "reject this commitment before it rejects me." If you want a commitmentphobe, stress less on trying to get the commitment itself, and look more into seeking getting the TRUST of the person you are trying to get to commit to you. Once you have their trust, they will feel safer about taking the next step away from "bed buddy." ;) Well, a little love mojo doesn't hurt either...try going for the love spells to deepen the other person's feelings - not the stuff, neccissarily, to tie them down to you.
On that note, if you are someone who always chases the ladies and gents who are naturally polyamorous (that's not a commitmentphobe - its someone who always needs more than one partner,) then either change who you seek to date, or THEN use the spellcraft to get them to stick with only you.
Q: What, in your opinion, is the worst mistake people make with love spells?
A: Oh, dear, there isn't one WORST, more like a list of worst offenses. ;) So, let's start...
The main issue is that people refuse to admit to themselves or others that part or some of their actions were a part of the cause of the break. Nagging, whining, lying, cheating, constantly questioning someone else's love for you, obsessing, being posssessive, being selfish, being cruel, being argumentitive, unsupportive, etc...these are all things people do, and then act as if this was normal. NORMAL?! Listen, in super-small doses, its normal. If you can't recognize that your own behavior had a hand in the demise of a relationship, nor can you recognize you need to alter your own behavior to make a relationship work (within reason, of course,) then you are not going to be super-successful with spellcasting.
Another issue is the OBSESSIVE PERSONA... Oh, dear, I'm already terrified of you and we've never met. ;) The obsessive persona refuses to let go of the situation. This type of person is constantly "running into someone by mistake on purpose," constantly dwells on why, how, what, where, when the spell will manifest, is always going out of their way to find signs (often projecting a sign where there is none,) sets a "doom date" for a spell to fail (thus sending out the message you want the spell to fail,) and is just...well, overly obsessive. This is the worst thing you can do about any spell. Do your work, and let it go, and leave it OFF YOUR MIND.
Then there is the "Too fast, too soon," people. Listen, you aren't likely to have a full on great commitment overnight - even with the best spell, love takes work to keep it working. Stop being so rushed! Anything worth having is earned through effort and perseverance. (Oh, dear the "give me everything with no work whatsoever," people just left the Rant Room. Good.)
I guess that's my top 3. ;)
Q: How do I decide between the use of pink candles or red candles in love spells?
A: Pink usually denotes romantic and tender love; red is more for sexual and passionate love.
Q: I have tried not obsessing about my ex/intended/spell, but I can't seem to! What do I do?
A: My first recommendation involves keeping your mind actively engaged in thinking tasks, where it is difficult to allow it to wander to the "what if"s and daydreaming, and needless worry. You might try actually relaxing, too. You know, just vegging and reading a good book. ;)
If all else fails, you may have a psychological issue with obsessing, or just a bad habit with it (not all things are true isses of a psychological nature!) Start by writing out all of your fears, and worries, and then, when done, x-ing out all of this, ripping it up, making a coffin (a shoebox works,) and burying it, preferably in a graveyard. Then try making a bath where you've put 1 cup chamomile, 1 cup lavender, and 1/2 cup epsom salt. Soak in it. You will feel better.
If that doesn't work...well, you have to do some work to heal yourself of your obsessive issues. Some of it might be magical, some may be medical. :S
Q: When do I know when to give up on getting what I want, or my spell working?
A: We all know I do not subscribe to the "git ova it," school of thought. The more you tell someone to get over it, the more they cling to the person or thing they are told to get over. :P Instead, I use this as a gauge - if you can say yes to any of the following, its time to move on:
*Has your desire to be with this person taken over your life to such an extent as damaging personal relationships with others, or with harming your work performance?
*Are you considering harming the object of your desire because you feel they "must" come to you and be yours, or "pay" for not coming to you? (For example, "Love me, or else!")
*Is the object of your affections someone who was and still is married or engaged to another person?
Q: Will you tell me which spell best-suits my situation?
A: I put this here, because, once again, I am not the freaking blog-google. Sorry. Most of my love/recon spells say what their uses are for, and from there, you should be able to decide if it suits the situation. If you have questions on a PARTICULAR SPELL, please just contact me and ask.
Otherwise, no, I will tell you what TYPE of spell would be best for your situation, but I will not sit here and go over several spells to pick one for you...and inevitably if I did so, most of you would not want that spell and tell me to look again! (I know, its happened several times before, hahaha.)
Q: Is it bad to do a love spell on one person, and then date/sleep with another person?
A: I'm sure I'll catch several levels of hell for saying my real opinion on this, but... In most cases, it would just depend. What do I mean? I mean, if you go out and seduce your intended's best friend? That would hurt your chances with your intended and your spell.... If you go out whoring famously where your intended sees this? That could hurt your spell. If you go out on dates? That might not hurt your spell...it depends on how clandenstine the public part of the date is, and how much of a kiss and tell your date is.
However, past that, if your intended is no where to be seen and would not likely know of your indescretions with others, I don't think it will effect the spell at all. If anything, it will relieve some of your worrying and waiting for the spell to manifest, and you're not a monk/nun, so go out and get some lovin...and use protection when you do. :)
One thing? The other person you used for your own amusement is apt to be ticked off if you didn't let them know they were just a "bed buddy."
Q: I want this person, but I want them to be more honest, want commitment, like cookies, enjoy doing sports (which they hate,) lose some weight, and...
A: You're not in love with that person, just in love with the person you want them to be. I recommend casting a spell to bring the person with the PERSONALITY you love to you. :)
Hope this was educational!