I was having this conversation with a few people in the last week, so I figured it might benefit my readers as well.
So when you cast a spell, - especially on another person - you are going to have the greatest amount of impact if effecting this person on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL. The human brain is set up to give a greater amount of attention to any thought or memory with great emotion attached to it.
For example, if you wanted to command me to do a thing, and this thing was that you want me to say the word "Fuck" a lot (apparently you've been working this one for years, haha,) you could use commanding spellwork to send this, but keep in mind, when you do so, this is not attached to any sort of emotional response (probably,) to the command so I will not retain the influence as long as I would if you attached emotion to it. For example, "Cat, every time you hear the word fuck, you become intensely angry," would last longer as an influence as I would begin (emotionally) to associate the word "fuck" with great anger while you worked on me, so even after your spell's influence had passed, I'd still react inwardly to your influence having been conditioned to feel anger (an emotional response) when hearing someone say "fuck."
I find this is often why people have a hard time with straight commanding work, but don't be disappointed if you feel that this means your current work on commanding another will fail. Consider the type of command* - is this something where you need another to take a simple action, or something which will not require a change in behavior? If yes, then you should try a spellcasting method that is a quick influence. If I need so-and-so to pay me back, I might use the command "(name of target), repay all of your debts to me," until this person has repaid me. If, however, the target has continuously stolen, borrowed, etc, and now I have a problem where they are not only in debt to me but incurring injury, I might instead go a bit darker - perhaps "(Name of target,) a deep feeling of fear encompasses you, and makes you restless and deeply morose, every time you hear my name and think of the debts you have incurred with me. Terror destroy your mind until you have paid for everything you have taken from me." Fear is a very strong emotion, and has a tendency to grow. Not only are you trying to command a repayment, but you are attaching a STRONG emotional response so that the target is encouraged to repay everything stolen and borrowed, while simultaneously being conditioned against future borrowing and theft - and with a more long-lasting influence.
Keep in mind, spell energy is made so it completes the task given. It will fade. This is why I always say to work on your problems in the mundane, so that they don't crop up in the future. If you need to reconcile an ex, but the problem was your difficulty in communicating your feelings, you might bring back the ex, but if you are still verbally constipated and emotionally absent when they do return, you may very well leave again in a short while. You're influencing the person to come back, but if the problems that caused the split aren't addressed, the situation falls apart again.
That's interesting with break ups, - remember, this person who is being "forced" (in some cases) to return (the target) has already been emotionally conditioned against returning to an ex (in general), being with the petitioner (because this person hurt them enough for them to break off the relationship and there will be pain and anger associated with the petitioner in the target's mind, which are VERY STRONG emotions,) so part of the work is often calming the target, warming those love emotions (love is a strong emotion, too,) but you're working against another whole set of memories with strong BAD emotions attached to them, so...that is part of the reason reconciliation magic can be so difficult.
Perhaps I'm just rambling, but hopefully this is some help - for the longest lasting influence when working on others, attach a strong emotional response (preferably one that suits your outcome,) and you will have a spell that really helps change the situation permanently. If you just need a quick action taken, or a short term goal, being more clear and concise in your command (and not worrying about emotions,) often will suit that working better.
Hope that wasn't too much rambling and made sense. :)
*command is being used rather broadly, I admit. The command is often written on a name-paper in Hoodoo, but there are just as many times when it is more or less spoken and not written. If I were straight-up using commanding work on you to, say, eat too much icecream, I might literally be repeating this command over and over while working you (say like using a photo to work you,) and it would be a certain phrase, like "Your name, all you desire is to eat as much ice cream as you can even past the point of feeling sick," and repeat that over and over. I might write that on a name paper 9 times over your name. I may take a few actions. If you do not understand what I mean when I say command after this, I suppose let me know. ;) Those of you who have been spellcasting for more than just a spells will probably understand what I am getting at.
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