The other day, I was reading someone's fantasy about a man who, despite having been gifted financially and in the looks department, had been felled by an "unfortunate" (implied: mystical and magical curse) health problem in his prime which destroyed him because he'd been unkind to women. Apparently "the cancer" took him down, which if you know about cursing isn't the way a death curse is apt to take someone down in the prime of life (because a car accident, random violence, overdose or something similar is much more likely to kill someone in their prime.)
OK, how many nice people do you know who have been cut down in the prime of their days? I know a few. I know people who, despite being lovely people who would give you the shirt off of their back and they had no money to give you that shirt, died. They are dead. They were incredibly lovely, kind, beautiful souls - people who, in life, were the most amazing and wonderful people. They're dead. They died before they probably even saw one frigging grey hair.
Now, how many shitty fucking people do you know who lived (or are living) despite being miserable, awful, selfish, mean, churlish fuckfaces? I know a few. I know people who, despite never having taken care of themselves, never having been very loving or empathetic towards others, never doing many things which we consider good or wise, have continued to persist well into old age (or lived to their 80's.)
I know you wish that bad people had bad things happen, and good people had good things happen and that all things were equal before our eyes...from OUR perspective.
But you're being stupid (probably) because humans, while quite intelligent COMPARED TO OTHER INCARNATE BEINGS, are still really really stupid when compared to something infinitely intelligent like the Universe/God/dess/Creator/Spirit/etc. You - as a primate who's ancestors got smart enough to put some clothes on at some point, and learned to make fires and shit, - are not the one who says what happens to people. This is why nice people die, and mean people live, and nice people live on too, and then okay people get to live to like 90, but then not that OK person, they get to die at 25 in a fiery plane crash. The reason all of those people's fates are completely NOT RELATED TO DIVINE RETRIBUTION is you are not the divine. You don't get to say.
Now, I know, we all wanna scare the newbs into being good. Lord forbid they might get "power hungry," and try to hurt someone,* by using all of this unlimited power of now finding out that being a sack of crap to others doesn't mean a lightening bolt will strike at them out of the sky for it, but that's not how we teach people in our "modern" world. People are only that dumb for a limited time, and your tall tales of "this bad person rotted away from the inside for being bad," are only really going to appeal to the naive.
The reason, so far as I can tell, to be a "good person" in life is not a thing to do with worrying about the finger of God crushing you if you're not. If I go through my whole life being a selfish shit, when I need help from the other humans of this world, I won't find myself surrounded by friends but by enemies - it's because, when I come to the end of my days, I want to be remembered well, or at least remembered (and not in infamy and hated,) by a lot of people. I don't know what comes after this life, I do think we're here to learn lessons, and to evolve our souls, but being "mean to women" or "being selfish with money" isn't going to mark you for destruction...
I think we can all agree - kindness towards others is good. This is helpful to our species. When we are kind to others, when we help others, this is beneficial.
I think we can all agree - generosity is a good trait. When we share what we have with others, we help others which is beneficial to our species, and therefore good.
Loyalty is good. Friendship is good. Laughter is good. Helping is good. All of these are good. Being courageous, honest, merciful, and fair are all good.
Being a jerk, being selfish, lying, being unfair, being cruel - they all can be very bad. If in excess in someone's personality, they can be horribly bad...but they are a product of self-preservation instincts. They are not there in you because you are trying to get into hell or because you're the devil.
That fictitious dude the forum poster thought up? He probably "was cruel to women" because of some horrible stuff in his past. Maybe his mother sexually abused him, maybe another woman made a fool of him and robbed him blind as a young man. I'm not trying to make excuses to why it would be "right" for someone to be selfish and/or cruel (people rise above rough circumstances all of the time,) I'm saying that if this person was real (instead of an amusing caricature,) he was who he was for a reason. In that, if we do not have some sort of "mercy" or "compassion" for his state, we are no better than him. We do not get to choose that he die some awful slow death for being a meanie. There are reasons he's a meanie.
And as much as we want people to pay for their "crimes" in this life that aren't illegal (rejecting us, being cruel, being selfish, abandonment, not helping us, etc.,) the truth is most of us would be pretty upset if suddenly asked to pay for ours. The truth is we all know some wonderful person (or maybe even an innocent child,) who died (sometimes horribly) despite leading a good life, and we all know bad people who lived very long. Stop trying to add a mythology here to reassure yourself that good people get good things and bad people get bad things. The reality, from what I can tell, is that you get a set amount of time (you don't know how long) and you should evolve your soul and your spirit. If you waste it on being petty and selfish, I don't think you will be destroyed for this. I think you've wasted your time if you do that, I think you will be lonely and unloved and that is a miserable existence, but I don't believe your creator hates you for it. Religion is a lovely thing - I'm a spiritual person, and I believe that my religion and spiritual beliefs have evolved me so that I want to give and want to help more than I ever did. However, I don't think that in the end, if you're a godless miserable fuck, that you will be much worse off than me, other than you being really confused about being dead (whereas I learned enough about death and being dead from the dead to not be so confused.)
I do think kindness and compassion for all things is right. I do not believe refusal to be one or the other will bring the ultimate outcome of you withering into a husk in your prime. You might, you might not. You could be awesome and die bad. Do what you can WHILE ALIVE to be a good person and the rewards IN THIS LIFE will be friends and happiness. I can't tell you what happens when you die other than I do believe there is an afterlife.
I know this was a rant, but just avoid the people who tell you suspicious stories about how people who were awful in life found a just end (that sounds divine or magical.) My experience is that this is not so. Nice things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to good people. It has always been this way. Anyone trying to sell you on anything otherwise is not doing you any favors. There is a real this life reward in being kind and good - it's the love of your peers.
And that's coming from a very religious/spiritual person, so I obviously have some religion-beliefs I don't feel the need to slap you in the face with. Everyone can use my message. :P
+Still adding my 2014 posts. Sorry. December was overwhelmingly busy – I was working 14+ hour days at the job, which wasn't leaving much time for writing. :(
*This idea that "power hungry newbs shall wreak destruction everywheres" is pretty hilarious. By the time most people are capable of spellcasting at a proficient level, they have spiritually and emotionally evolved past "I wanna curse someone for calling me a bitch." If they haven't, they will always be this much of an asshole, and just scaring them in their newb days won't put them off of misusing what they know. If I teach 1000 people how to shoot, it doesn't mean all 1000 of them will become murderers - in fact, the same amount of psychos will exist in that number regardless of whatever they are taught. "Scaring people straight" does not, in my experience, offset any bad behaviors very long.
Hey there Occulties,+
I was recently inspired by a forum post in a facebook forum I belonged to, where a gentleman had posted a relatively nicely made tool he'd made "hadn't worked."
Now I put that in quotes not because I disbelieve the man (I believe it didn't work when he tried,) but more because I believe when it comes to magical tools, sometimes people do the same thing as clicking at a TV with a remote that doesn't contain batteries or an energy source, then complain the remote "doesn't work." ;) This is the same as those of you who light a candle or say what looks like an easy chant, then complain "it doesn't work" - it won't work if it has never had the energy to do so.
And, interestingly enough, one of the easiest ways to make something "magical" (albeit, you'll accuse me of pushing religion,) to work is to use something really really used. For example, the Pater Noster (Our Father) has been spoken so many times devoutly, that it does work for a blessing even if you don't believe - which honestly, I'd rather you say it with belief than none, it's just the words carry the weight of over a thousand years of faithful saying them with faith. ...Think of that like the battery that people all over the world keep charging. ;) It still works better if said with faith, but even the faithless can say it, and it may help...
That said, let's get away from prayer for a bit before all of my agnostic readers throw their hands in despair.
In Hoodoo, as I was taught and as I have learned, all things have an energy - living beings, parts of deceased beings, feathers, stones, roots, herbs, dirt, even every day items have an energy or a signature. Using the law of signatures as my base for my test (how does it grow? Where does it grow? What does it belong to? what is it near? what does it do? how does it effect humans? how does it effect others of it's kind? etc, etc,) I can often figure out what an unknown substance might do magically. For example, if we are trying to bring money to ourselves, we might use dirt from a bank for an ingredient. As all of these items have an innate or natural "charge" to them, we can use this power to bring forth that which we desire, when we combine items properly....but if we look at this like baking, just because I have all of the ingredients for a cake, this doesn't mean I know what amount to add to the cake, or what to set the oven to and for how long. ;) That knowledge comes with practice and effort. (See Why are practitioners such bags of dicks here.)
Oh, good Lord....I've suggested rewards aren't always immediate in spellcasting for yourself, and that some effort and practice is probably required. Everyone hold open the door to the Rant Room and let the "spellcast once for myself for a quick fix" people out of the room.
There, now that we're alone with serious students, back to my tangent. ;)
So, back to the gentleman who'd made a magical tool that "didn't work..." I'm of a mind that certain types of work - that is, certain paradigms, - are not necessarily good beginner work, and what he'd created would be a tool for that very type of not-the-best-for-beginners-type of work. In Hoodoo, I see this far less in the sense of "I went and bought this ancient tome, see, and then applied 14 hours of work to making this thing it told me to make, and jack shit happened." In Hoodoo, often if we apply focus of will, and a stillness of the mind, we're not so worried if we fasted for 14 days, didn't masturbate or have sex for another fortnight, and painted in the blood of 15 dead unicorns* to make some particular tool work. This means, while there is something to be learned, practiced, and wielded (that is, will,) we are also assisted by the natural energies within the ingredients we are using.** Rather than spending months or even years achieving some level of mastery just so as we can have a set of tools that works amazingly well (or a set of rituals that works amazingly well, see Frater Ashen Chassan's Ars Almadel experiments, here for example, and here,) it is my personal belief that Hoodoo employs what is, for the most part, easily accessible (except if you're an incredibly lazy or incredibly cheap asshole...and it even works for several cheap assholes,) Hoodoo can be successfully employed by beginners who focus their will and don't give into lust for results.
Once we use natural energies in each item as well as our own (remember all those times I said charge the candle, or envision x or y thing? This is what I mean when I say using your own will, or adding energy, etc,) in Hoodoo, we often achieve success.
Failure, however, is inevitable - not in all attempts at spellcasting, but in some. Even the most practiced master of the art will fail at times. I've mentioned before an incident where, in my younger days, I'd used Mars-based energy on a reconciliation (thinking that sexual passion would be a key element to bringing back the target,) only to discover I was involved in some fisticuffs action with the target instead (because Mars rules the grosser lusts which include wrath.) While this was not a failure in the sense of "nothing happened," and while this was not a failure in the sense that I never had the target come back to me (he did, in time,) it didn't really work as an effective reconciliation in the sense of "Wow, he's so sorry for his actions, and wants to be my baby right now." ;) I don't even view that as a failure, really. Something happened.
And maybe this is where you and I do not see eye to eye... To me, there is a sliding scale of success...or maybe it's a tree...or something. I mean there is the effect of "Nothing happened." Which is to say, after years of waiting (yep,) I can honestly still say at this moment in time that what I did resulted in no effect whatsoever. That's a definite fail.
Yes, years, because I've had incidents where I didn't learn of the effects til more than a few years later, and it ended up that I had a pretty resounding impact, actually, I just didn't get what I want in the way I wanted it. :P So, technically I was successful (I had one guy suicidally in love with me who never told me, and was "outed" by his friends years afterwards for example,) but whoever was impacted didn't make a move where I could see it. Sometimes it's that I didn't see my opportunities until the hindsight I had was 20/20, either. Like "Oh, if I had just done this or that thing when the opportunity presented itself, I'd be $35k richer right now. WTH, why didn't I grab that opportunity? Hrm..." I did go over this in another article to some degree (about trying to find opportunities) so we've actually touched on this subject before...
But let's go back to the proverbial success tree...success being the branches, fail being the roots..
So, as far as I can tell, results (so types of success) from spells fall under the following categories:***
1. TOTAL AND COMPLETE SUCCESS! Good job, you got everything you hoped for and basically in a relatively predictable way. No surprises here. You wanted x job, and got hired for x job. You wanted y person, and y person came to you like they'd loved you forever.
2. Somewhat unexpected success! Good job, you got everything you hoped for, but, as I often remind my readers, it came to you in some manner you didn't entirely expect it to. ;) Maybe you didn't get a promotion at your current job (like you suspected you would when spellcasting for a higher paying job,) but instead got a much better job at a different firm. Maybe the police didn't arrest your neighbor for being...well, a criminal (as you suspected they would when you cast a spell to get that person out of your building,) but instead your neighbor got evicted by the landlord for non-payment of rent. Maybe your ex didn't text you when you discovered they wanted you back but rather ran into you at the convenience store and blurted out that they love you.
3. Wholly unexpected outcomes that were eventually a success. While this is similar to #2 and #4 on this list, it is not entirely the same. For example, let's say you want to reconcile an old partner. Initially, after the spell is cast, this person argues with you a lot or acts distant. About 2 months after the work, the person tells you that they'd had so much animosity towards you that if it had never come out, they could not reconcile with you, and they DO reconcile with you. OR, let's say you spellcasted for a better and higher paying job (not specifying you remain at the same job.) About 2 weeks later, you're fired for some totally bullshit reason from your current job. When you apply to a few places thereafter, you are met with animosity or coldness from prospective employers. Just when you're about to give up, your old friend Zeke calls from the opposite coast that you live on (or maybe from the mid-west, wheresoever you have a friend named Zeke, heh,) and you dish that you've lost your job and everything seems bad. Zeke mentions he still has some connections where you live and makes a few calls. Voila! You are given a better job with better pay as opposed to the job you were fired from.
4. "Monkey's Paw" success. Among the occultists I know, a "Monkey's Paw" effect is getting what you want in an undesirable way, and is the meaning of "be careful for what you wished for, as you just might get it." It references a famous W. W. Jacobs story. Sometimes the outcome is that you never wanted what you asked for to begin with - you get the job you requested only to find out that you despise the job and everyone who works there. Maybe you ask for the love of a person only to discover that they are obsessive, possessive and abusive (and now quite ardently in love with you.) Or perhaps you ask for money, and your house burns down (but the insurance pays out nicely.)
5. Something definitely happened. This is the most common type of "failure" which is actually (in my mind) a success. You made an impact, but perhaps not to the level or of the kind that you desired. My "Mars for reconciliation" episode mentioned above could be filed under this (I got a reaction from the target, and he WAS sorry for his behavior later which led to some reconciliation, but admittedly I wasn't looking to get into a physical altercation with a man I wanted to reconcile.) More than one attempt at magic tends to find itself filed under this header - we use something we are sure will work, and, while it has a noticeable effect, it's as if it falls short of our goals - rarely (well, perhaps when you get out of the neophyte stage is it rare,) is it as silly as "Let's use the God of War for reconciliation" type of outcome (because as a beginner/intermediate I tried a lot of weird things experimentally without considering some things I now would see as obvious mistakes,) and more commonly, it's a matter of seeing a noticeable impact from what we've tried to achieve with spells without getting what we want.
6. Total and complete desirable impact with missed opportunity (success, but you didn't grab the opportunity.) Sometimes, because we are humans and believe ourselves far smarter than we really are, we just miss something. ;) For example, you spellcast for certain traits in a lover rather than a particular person only to realize you started chasing anything that showed interest and missed the best one for you. OR you spellcasted for a good new job, and once you turned in a bunch of applications you took the job that, even though you felt a better fit at a job that paid $2 less an hour, paid the most, only to realize the slightly-lower-paying job was your dream job. Sometimes you even work to reconcile someone only to be too proud to do so when the opportunity presents itself. :( This isn't a spell-failure, it's human failure. On the positive, your spell totally worked! On the negative, you're probably going to have to try again because it worked and you didn't grab opportunity by the nutsack when opportunity's nutsack was out.
7. Hidden success. I'd mentioned above that there have been times in my life where I only found out a great time later that I'd been entirely successful in my work. While I find this more often when cursing (because I don't poke around to hear about someone's misfortune, as it is my belief that this is counter productive to the curse working,) I've also had the experience where I'd made someone suicidally in love with me (according to mutual friends years later,) when all he ever showed me of that was that he tried to steal a kiss (he had reasons for holding back which were quite good, but if I'd realized how I'd tortured the young man at the time, I'd never have let it get that far.) Sometimes we are all far more successful in our workings than we realize, though some people might also categorize this as #5 above.
And failures are basically under the following categories:
1. Spell failure, no obvious reason. Sometimes you do everything right, and as far as you can tell, nothing happens...while this might fall under 6 or 7 on the success list later (sometimes even a 5 on that list,) there will always be those incidents which NOTHING HAPPENS, and for no real understandable reason, no matter who you ask...though, if it's not under the success list after a few years, it's probably because one of the reasons 2-4 below...
2. It's not yours to have. We can't have everything we want in life. Sorry. I can't sing a note, and even if I trained my voice for years, I'd still not have a great singing voice. It's just how God made me. I'm fine with that. Also, I really love Ryan Gosling's body...I don't think that's mine to have either (though, Mr Gosling, you're free to prove me wrong there at any time.) I will never be tall. I'm terrible with math, so I'll probably never be a five-star mathematician...but I think MOST of us can understand basic limitations like this.... HOWEVER, sometimes we just don't see that what LOOKS like it could be ours can't be ours. Maybe it's a job, maybe it's someone you know, maybe it's a lot of things, but for whatever reason, the Universe has decided that which you seek is not yours to have at this time.
3. You fucked up the spell. You didn't focus, you didn't let go of the spellwork, you thought it to death, you obsessed, you worked against the spell energy, you did something wrong while casting, you did something wrong after casting, you didn't do the right things before casting...honestly, this is one of the more common reasons for failure. The remedy? I guess, if you still want that thing, try again. ;)
4. You suck at spells. I'm just going to come out and say it - some people are just not at all capable of spellcasting, and will never be more than meh at doing it. That's a smallish percentile. The next group is a group of people who have to work really really really really hard, but after lots and lots of practice, they become somewhat competent at it (and never amazing or even good.) That's a reasonable sized percentile. The next group is a group of people who definitely have to put a good deal of work in, but the effort pays off, and they are quite good. That's also a reasonable sized percentile. Then comes the naturals...they are good to start with, but need to work to be amazing. That's a smallish percentile. Look, I have a bachelors degree in fine arts - do you know how many impressive artists there are who will never be masters at it? A large percentile. It's the same idea. Find any vocation which requires practice, study, and skill, and you will find only a small percentile become true masters at that skill, while some people - no matter how much study and practice they put in, - are never going to be good at it. Spellcasting is no different.
So, we've gone over successes and failures, and I can honestly say a good 75% or so of spells (aimed at a realistic end - not at turning oneself into a werewolf or winning lotteries,) will fall under the success part of the tree in some way or another...at least in my experience. With failure - I've said it a thousand times, the most common reason for failure is lust for results/thinking the spell to death, and it's entirely avoidable. :P
HOWEVER, I don't think failure is always (or even often) a bad thing. I've learned from every failure or every not-stunning success.
Remember, people give up because of SLOW PROGRESS, never realizing that slow progress IS STILL PROGRESS. Maybe that failure is part of you still making progress on the situation. Did you really want what you started spellcasting for? If you don't get it immediately, will you just NOT LEARN ANYTHING AND GIVE UP? If you will, then I highly suggest you go to some sort of place where they put a crash helmet on you and nice people help you get dressed. You aren't capable of achieving anything in life (because nothing worth having is effortless,) and might as well give up on trying to get anything or lead a life. :P Or you're a product of the internet age, and you should stop reading my blog because no one instilled beliefs in you like "hard work and effort pay off." I'm sorry you have bad/incapable parents/teachers (but very capable enablers, apparently,) then, but I take no responsibility for you being so stupid/inept/lazy. :(
For the rest of you...failure is not a shameful thing, it's a learning opportunity. Remember above where I said "grab opportunity by the nutsack?" Why aren't you? Even if you don't achieve what you set out to achieve (be that being with or being reunited with someone, or a desired better job, or more money, or revenge on an enemy, or even just to have more friends,) with spells, what did you learn by NOT getting what you wanted? OK, past that x spell didn't work. ;) WHY did it not work? Or why did it not work HOW YOU WANTED IT TO. Did you do everything right before? Did you stop thinking the work to death (or never start)? Did you cut corners with your spellwork? Can you direct your will? What were the planets doing when you spellcasted? Look at all the reasons FOR failure, and you will learn from failure.
And also those "successes that don't seem so successful," (for example "something happened, just not what I'd wanted,") are also some of the most amazing learning experiences out there. So, I didn't reconcile my ex to the point he wanted to reunite with me, but now he's not against being my friend...what did I do wrong there? Was I not using enough sexual element? Was it not enough romance? Why is he afraid to come back to me? What are the psychological and social elements which might hold him back? These are all valuable questions to ask when, if you find in a few months, there isn't the desired result.
Until you're willing to accept failure (or half-assed success, heh,) as part of the learning process in casting spells for yourself (and you will "fall down," and you must get up and try again, just like when you were learning to walk,) you will never become competent at spellcasting. The easily discouraged do not win any awards in life, and people forget that someone who is an expert at something has failed to do whatever they are doing now a number of times before they got to where they COULD DO that thing. This is no different. If you cast spell and see SOME impact, congratulate yourself for doing SOMETHING. Try again.
So there you go. That's my rant on failure. ;)
+Still adding my 2014 posts. Sorry. December was a busy month and yet low-paying and discouraging. I have no excuse for myself other than working 14 hours a day every day for less than a dollar (gross not net) an hour makes me really not want to add 2 extra hours in unpaid. I need compensation for work that I do to stay motivated, just like most living things. :/
*I've never actually seen any suggest painting in the blood of a mythological animal, to be fair - this is merely me being sort of sarcastic. Sex and eating regulations are sometimes suggested in varying grimoiric texts, however.
**This is why I tell you not to buy that cheap, shitty, machine made crap that pretends to be traditional formulas. Mineral oil and/or baby powder are not substitutes for real ingredients.
***If I can be wholly honest here, I don't actually limit success or failure to those following 11 categories, but, because a broad view is usually the best for the sake of teaching, it's pretty helpful, and includes the more popular reasons.
COPYRIGHT ORIGINALNINJACAT, NO COPYING, PASTING, SHARING, USING, OR PLAGIARIZING. If you want to use my work in any way, get express written-permission.
Hey there, Occulties,
Since I've definitely signed myself up for more work than I ever should have with 13 more posts (well, 12 after this,) all having to go up on or before December 31 (all while working 14 hour days, because I just am a glutton for punishment,) I had a few days to think on it, and I figured I'd like to have a chat with you all about someone I think is absolutely awesome. No, Rufus Opus, this is not the review of your book which is also forthcoming, but you're awesome, too*
As some of you might know, Saleos (sometimes referred to as Sallos, or Zallos) is one of the 72 spirits in the Ars Goetia. Maybe you've met him. Maybe you haven't. But I have something to say about him, and I will address it directly to him, as it really IS long overdue that I give this fellow a PUBLIC and glowing review:
My dearest Duke Saleos,
You are amazing. You've helped me, you've helped my clients, you love vodka, and wine, and engineer infatuation between men and women like the true master engineer of love that you are. You're everything I ever wanted in a spirit (I also love vodka and helping people fall in love with each other.) It has been an honor and continues to be an honor to work with you.
You have helped me grow as a magician, you have been patient, you have been kind... You even have a great sense of humor, which I was a bit surprised to discover. :)
If anyone (who was seriously interested in conjuring,) asked me who to work with for love, I'd recommend you. I'm pretty sure that goes without saying. You get the job done right - which isn't always "two days later" (and I respect that most highly,) because fast isn't always lasting...and what you create is more often than not, quite lasting. I look forward to further adventures with you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you Duke Saleos!
I cannot praise you enough, and will continue to do so. May we work together for many years to come.
*RO would be even more awesome if he published a book which was bound in the hide of unicorn nipples, inked in the blood of his enemies, and smoked with demon farts, but he still hasn't published a book like that, so he's only 99.9% awesome, and I told him this very thing yesterday. :P
****Added 10/10/15 - I am glad to talk about SALEOS (I didn't misspell his name) with people practiced with evocation if you would like to know my experiences. I welcome discussion with those who have successfully practiced evocation. :) If you're a dabbler, if you refer to him as Sallos (when he's listed as Saleos, Zaleos, and Caleos in the varying sources that I am familiar with - not to mention, I've spoken to Saleos himself,) or if you tell me he is your only hope and you really really really want your ex back/someone to love you, but you've never cast a spell, then I do not teach evocation, and I am not interested in the discussion. Ask me a stupid question, and you will get a contemptuous answer. I teach ROOTWORK not spirit conjure. Sorry to be such an asshole, but this post has been an ASSHOLE MAGNET and after almost a year of fucktardedly stupid questions, the answer is, YES, I LOVE SALEOS AND HE IS AMAZING, but NO, I do not think he's your only hope if you never cast a spell before, and frankly, successful evocation takes a long time to learn. I don't teach it, either. ****
Text is copyright me - no copying, copy and pasting, etc., images in this article from the free domain. If you dispute they are from the free domain and they are yours, please contact me and I will take them down.
This is probably a rant, but here goes...
I could never pick out one thing that annoys me most about working with clients, just like I can't say I can pick out the things I like best, either. Both are incredibly varied. ;)
However, the most current trend in my inbox at this writing seems to be the "I'm incapable of ever seeing anything in a positive light," trend, a.k.a. "I am worried over the most trivial of contrary events, so God forbid anything actually scary should happen during this manifestation phase" problem. Therefore, I give this offering unto my reading public in the hopes that someone, - anyone - will learn through me what I had to learn through experience. And that is the following:
ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES! You know that stupid phrase, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade?"( Yes, I know I usually say "If life doesn't also hand you sugar and water, your lemonade sure is going to taste like shit," but just stick with me here.) I'm sure you've all heard it, and if you haven't, well...it basically means if you get stuck with a situation you find to be less than optimal, use what you DO HAVE to make something good out of it.
Is your reconciliation target acting distant? Well, let them be distant. One thing I've learned in life is that smothering anyone you have romantic feelings for (or even just friend feelings for,) is the surest way to kill a flame of love, friendship, or desire. When you get punched with "feeling like the target is ignoring me," then why not roll back with "Go out and be seen having a fabulous time without the target"? I dunno about you, but when I see people having a fabulous time without me, I feel a little left out. I might want to join in. That might cause me to warm up to someone, so that I can get in on the fun next time. :P
And that's what I mean when I say, "roll with the punches." It's up to you to make the best of what you've got. Magic might be working for you, but if you don't work with it, and don't learn to work with what IS going on, don't expect it to manifest spectacularly every time. You need to be capable of working with your spellwork instead of freezing up every time something you don't expect happens.
USE YOUR MIND TACTICALLY RATHER THAN WASTING YOUR ENERGY ON USELESS WORRY. Remember that time I told you that worry is the most useless thing that ever existed (although Kanye West may actually be more useless, and also I'm pretty sure tits on a bull are AT LEAST equally as useless as worry,) and you were like "O, really, Cat? But if I don't worry, I will totes like not see a bad thing coming!" and then I told you that you were wrong? (Note: if you ever contacted me there is a 9 out of 10 chance we had this conversation.) So, if you don't remember that, or if it never happened that we did have that conversation, allow me to say it, briefly, here...
Worry is basically you plotting all the ways you can fail, and then getting excited about failing. I mean, you're actually getting a thrill on the idea of failure, which is why you keep engaging in worry. I'm not really sure how that's helpful. Imagine if you got in your car right now, put on your seat belt, and the moment you put on that seat belt, you thought of all the ways it might fail, or maybe how it could malfunction and slice you in half, and while you turn on the engine you think of how the car could explode, and then you think of how another car might hit the back of your car as you pull out into the street, and...
You don't do that, right? I mean, if you're thinking of every awful thing that could very well happen at any moment, you have a problem called an "anxiety disorder." Most of us, however, would put on our seat belt (not out of fear of dying or getting a ticket, but out of habit,) start the car, and would maneuver ourselves around in the vehicle while staying aware of the other drivers and traffic. So, if someone pulls out in front of you unexpectedly, you hit the breaks, or steer a bit to the right to avoid them - you do NOT fail to adjust what you're doing merely because something unexpected happened (so that's panic,) but you tactically adjust your own vehicle to avoid disaster.
How is life any different? What makes you think spellwork and your own actions and opportunities during the manifestation phase are any different? If you sit there, paralyzed by fear and panic and worry, imagining terrible outcomes for your spellwork, how are you going to be able to adjust your own actions tactically to be most beneficial to your situation, and how will you find the opportunities the spell is making for you?
SEEK OPPORTUNITIES. There's also an old joke that goes like this... A man is standing on the roof during a torrential downpour, watching the neighborhood flood. He prays "Lord, please help save me from this terrible flood. It has already reached past the first floor of my home, and is climbing closer to the roof." Just then his neighbor comes up with a boat, and says "Bob, get in the boat and I'll take you to higher ground!" The man says "No can do, I'm waiting for God to save me! I'll just keep praying." The neighbor shakes his head, and drives the boat off. About a half an hour later, with the water now climbing up the edges of the roof, another neighbor shows up with a life raft, paddling furiously. "Bob," he says to the praying man, "Get in, and we'll get out of here!" The praying man looks up and says "No, no, the Lord will save me, I just need to have faith in Him," and goes back to praying. About an hour later the water is almost up to the man's waist. He's standing on his tip toes when a helicopter soars overhead. "HEY, DOWN THERE!" an army man says to the praying man on the roof. "Grab this rope and I'll save you! You don't have much time!" The praying man looks up and says, "No, the Lord will save me! Thanks anyhow!" And waves the helicopter off. Anyhow, the praying man drowns, and when he gets to Heaven, he says "Lord, why did you not save me?" and God replies "Well, I did send a boat, a raft, and helicopter - what else did you want!?"
It's a given that people miss opportunities...of course some make opportunities that don't exist as well (I actually term those as "flopportunities" because, generally, you're not really going to succeed, you just are going out on a limb, and are about to flop right on your face, metaphorically.) ;) But let's focus on those who miss opportunities. Why is it that something HAS TO happen in the way you believe it should? Are you more invested in HOW it happens and WHY it happens, or are you more invested in the thing you want happening? In the above, Bob wants to be rescued from a flood, but he's too invested in HOW he gets rescued. He's not at all thinking about saving himself, he wants God to come down and lift him physically out of the water, therefore missing all of the opportunities God is sending to rescue him.
So, you want a job selling cars, and you do a spell to get a job selling cars. If you *think* you prefer Jimbo and Sons Ford and Mercury, and you apply there (despite that you cast a spell for THE BEST CAR SELLING JOB SUITED TO YOU, and not specifically for Jimbo and Sons' employment) does your spell "fail" if Jimbo rejects your application, but Benson's Hondas wants to employ you? I do know people who will literally tear their hair right out and scream "MY SPELL FAILED!" the moment Jimbo rejected their application. They will not seek another opportunity, they will not assume another one exists, and they will decide magic doesn't work.
FAILURE IS POSSIBLE, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S PROBABLE. One of the things I see all too often is that someone is faced with what I like to term a "trivial contrary," OR what they see as a "huge red flag of danger," the person in question immediately panics, rather than seeking an opportunity or tactically maneuvering themselves so that the situation does not up-end their spellwork.
Now, what is a "trivial contrary?" This is most often just not getting the expected response (generally something small,) or encountering an event that seems contradictory to your desired end (but doesn't have to be,) which is not alarmingly contradictory, just..well, not in sync with what you expected.
If things don't visibly seem to be going your way, why is it that you need to immediately assume it's going to fail? Doesn't that kind of propel you towards failure? If I'm in love with a male friend of mine, for example, and he doesn't show me the affection I want him to, should I assume my spell isn't working? What if he's just not telling me because he's insecure? What if he's not telling me because I've rejected him in the past? What if he's not telling me because he worries we'd make a bad match? None of this means my spell isn't working, it means my target is holding back. If I just assume everything is a lack of results or isn't working, I'm blinding myself with lust for results. But let's throw a more "alarming" kind of "trivial contrary," into the mix... Let's say I've texted my target, asking him if he would like to go grab a beer. Historically, my target likes beer, and likes having beers with me, but he replies with "Not tonight, maybe another time." DID MY SPELL FAIL? OMIGOD OMIGOD NOTHING IS WORKING! CAT REASSURE ME! Oh, sorry, I was channeling one of my clients for a moment... Well, that's definitely not fun. We'd all like it if our target responded with "I like beer, and drinking beer, and the chance to get drunk with you," but it's not always going to pan out like that. So, if that happens and I wait a few days, maybe I find out that my target's mother had been in surgery that night, or he had to stay late at a meeting or a class, or he just had other plans which were of greater importance than getting a beer with me. Maybe the target will ask me out for a beer a few days later. :P
My point here is, why are you so frazzled over the little stuff? Too many of you are. It's not always going to work where you won't have trivial contrary incidents during your manifestation phase. Panicking never helps, and assuming the worst doesn't either. Even if your spell IS NOT WORKING or DOES NOT WORK, no one is dead or dying. You can cast another spell. So, roll with the punches, seek opportunities, and don't sweat the small stuff...you'll be successful more times than you're not if you take this advice.
THE MOST-LIKELY SOURCE TO DISCOVER IF YOU'LL BE SUCCESSFUL IS JUST LOOKING AT YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR. If you ball up in fear the moment anything happens, you'll probably fail. If you suspect the worst anything anything "contrary" happens, you'll probably fail. If you worry a lot, you'll probably fail. If you are prone to panic, you'll probably fail.
Pretty easy, huh?
I hope this has been educational, kids. :)
PS- One of the best parts of writing this article was that in less than 4 hours after posting it, no less than seven people came in complaining about trivial events that were "worrisome" to them, and wanted me to reassure them. *facepalm*
ALL CONTENT EXCLUDING IMAGE COPYRIGHT 2014 ORIGINALNINJACAT/CAT ASTROPHIED - can not be used, copied, pasted without the author's express written permission. Image collected off of facebook - if that's your property and you want me to remove it, please just ask. I thought it was hilarious. :/
For those of you who know the day I had yesterday (entire-day-wasting-assclown-applicant,) this post is probably one you knew was coming. I think I actually post about one of these articles per year, lol. For those of you unfamiliar with me, or my work, etc., this might be helpful if you're looking to work with a professional spellcaster. Certainly, the professional spellcasters I know would probably like you to read this and keep it in mind. ;)
1. Be honest. Be forthcoming (not TMI level - we don't need to know sex positions you and your ex liked, but we do need to know some details,) about the problem. While there is such a thing as too much unneeded information (it really doesn't matter what outfits you both wore each day, or that his dog's name is Tiddles and you think that's adorable,) there is also way too little information. If you wrote me 2 sentences on what you want my help on, then I probably can't diagnose the situation well. There isn't one reconciliation spell for all problems. There isn't one love spell. There are thousands if not millions if not billions and or trillions of love and reconciliation spells. The same thing goes for money spells, controlling spells, curses, and move your neighbor spells. If you have a love problem, not all love spells will be suitable. Without having discussed the problem with you, I can't know which one/s to apply. The same is true for money, cursing, job spells, and basically any spell you can think of.
2. Read all the information the worker asks you to read before contacting them to see if you can hire them for work. Check out their frequently asked questions section. It's incredibly time-saving when all that information I spent hours writing out is something I don't have to rewrite personally for someone. I know my peers feel the same way. It also helps me know who is a responsible and trustworthy person - people who read directions, and help themselves are responsible people. People who don't follow basic (sometimes mandatory) instructions are the people who park in handicapped zones and block fire hydrants and then blame others when they get ticketed (so they are self-defeating assclowns, that make society worse for others.)
3. Remember there are a lot of people who do the same jobs we do, or who pretend to do the same job we do (the second kind is the fake kind.) ;) We are not going to be familiar with every business selling spells, ritual items, or occult-related-items/services, nor will we know their owners. So, if you had a bad experience with a place called "SomeonesSpellSiteThatSellsSpells.com," there is a chance that another worker knows nothing of that business. HOWEVER, if you come in hollering about being scammed by this person and that person, what often goes through a worker's mind is NOT that you've been scammed - it's that whatever happened to you (scam or not,) you're volatile, you may be impatient, you're eager to bad mouth anyone, and you are probably a risk as a client because, with an attitude like yours, we're probably going to pay for the previous person's mistakes with you - IF we accept your business. Furthermore, we may very well know who you speak of, we might be friendly with that person, which has it's own consequences.
I guess, to dumb this down (it needs to be) if you tell your new lawyer, all lawyers are lying, cheating, fakes - think they want to help? If you tell your doctor that all doctors you know are lying quacks and know nothing about medicine, think they want to help? If you go to McDonald's and tell them all the people who ever waited on you got complained about to the manager, think they want to wait on you? If you go into an architect's office and tell him or her that you've never seen a building designed right and from what you can see, his/her work could easily suck as well, think they want to help you build? The answer is no, all those people find you rude, and scary. They don't think you want to challenge them in a good way - they think you're contacting them to take out an old grudge on someone else using them as the substitute for that someone else.
And keep in mind, clients get reputations, too. If you're always acting awful to your workers, if you run all over the internet getting readings and spells from everyone, if you post on- or use- spellcaster review sites...you probably are already known, and not in a good way. For fictional and example purposes, let's make up a shop called "Brother Smyth's Handmade Ritual Wands and Bowls - if you post a review like "Brother Smyth was OK, he's pretty nice. I waved his wand that I bought (price was a bit high, I think, because handcrafted copper and semi-precious gemstones over organic applewood that's been chanted over 78 times, and inscribed with hermetic sigils burned into the wood at the right hour of Venus on a Friday when the moon is in Scorpio isn't really worth $309, right?)-" *Cat's note- that would actually be a fair and low price, at this writing, IMHO* "-but even right after waving it in the air, I didn't instantly get my ex back. I also tried holding it and wishing on it. Nothing. So, he's nice but his stuff isn't effective."
To translate that to what a worker or someone knowledgeable about the occult sees when they read that review, "I purchased a quality handmade item from a reputable occultist. I have no idea how to use it. I probably use a screwdriver to unclog my toilet and a plunger to put in screws, because that would equate my level of ignorance with occult tools. I paid a lot of money, and so since I can't properly use this occult tool, I blame someone else for my own ignorance on how magic or the occult works, and I'm going to ruin this small business's reputation. If you help me, I'll ruin you too, because I'm a thoughtless, ignorant knob." Now, the fictional Brother Smyth? He already knows who you are now. You reviewed a one-of-a-kind item, but your codename on that review site would not have helped, because he probably makes 2 sales a day at best. He might have shared your real name and contact info with others so they don't suffer bad reviews from your ignorance, and you just lost a good deal of real occultists who will sell you items or services. The fakes will still "help" though. Those "review sites" are public, and so...you just committed a huge faux pas.
Real spellcasters? We don't make tons of sales a day. Ten new spell sales a week would be so epic for me, that I'd probably have to shut down new orders for a week. If I handmade you an item described like the above, it's probably one-of-a-kind, so I'd know who you were. Also, the review you wrote (to other people probably as ignorant as one would have to be to think you wave a wand in the air and make wishes to use it,) will now impact that person's business forever. This fictional guy? He's making items that probably took him several days to make. He did it using traditional methods, using lots of prayer and using all his energy - and you just shit all over it to people, several of whom are likely as ignorant about how this stuff should work as you are, and called it ineffective. That's his sole source of income, and because someone ignorant can't properly use a tool, they gave him a poor review because he can't make a fictional wand that grants wishes just by waving it (no one I know can, because you don't use a wand like that.) Since a wand is just a tool, if it's not wielded by person who knows how to use it, it won't really be that effective. Even the finest ritual items and tools need will and intent, and the wisdom to be used properly. So basically, that review was like if you could take down the entire line of Craftsman tools just because you reviewed to a group that you bought a hammer from them once, swung it around in the air, and a new house didn't build itself when you did. Soooo, after that explanation, do you think a real occultist wants to work with someone like that, and do you understand why someone who behaves like the above fictional reviewer gets a bad client rep? ;)
4. Avoid the spellcasters offering health-related or body-related spells. This is a huge legal death zone (as in it's a very slippery-slope legally,) and I don't believe that I know anyone (at this writing) who is reputable who would take a chance and offer it for sale. Further there are no clear skin spells I know of, or boobs and dick growing spells I've ever heard of, lol, though they might exist. If a spellcaster is offering to make your skin clear up, your boobs or penis grow, your hair turn another color, or for you to lose weight, there is a strong chance they are fake. If they are selling you a full ritual (for any purpose, not just health) for under $20 (and I don't mean they will set a light which means light one candle,) they are probably not doing anything for you either. My materials cost way more than $20 just to do a full ritual. ;) So, avoid those spellcasters, but remember if you ask someone like me for a weight-loss spell, I'm probably going to tell you to go to the doctor and ask for diet advice, OR I'll say "I've found reducing my food intake and being more active helps me lose weight, so there's my weight-loss spell for you, and it's free. Exercise, eat less, and abracadabra, you will slowly lose weight." ;)
5. Remember, we work long, long hours, and deserve compensation for our time. At least 4-5 times a year, I get someone very inconsiderate in my inbox who demands I spend hours of free time helping explain how to cast spells to them - to be their own personal free spell-tutor. The thing is, that's a paid service. It costs money for a few reasons: 1.) I don't have unlimited free time. 2.) I don't particularly enjoy repeating simple basic concepts over and over especially when I've publicly explained several here. 3.) I don't do my job for free because I deserve to be compensated for my time like everyone else. 4.) I have people who can, will, and do pay me to do exactly what you're asking me to do for free, so I work for them instead. That's not an all inclusive list, but I think you're getting the point. ;) So, if you've just kept someone a few hours in consultation, and then decide you're not going to pay, you've just done the equivalent of getting your hair dyed and cut and not paying the hairdresser, or the same thing as getting your tooth filled and not paying the dentist, or even asking a specialist to come in and look at your mold problem, and then not paying him or her for the 2 hours spent on your house.
Every block of time you spend "chatting" with a professional spellworker or occultist that you are not compensating them for is a form of theft, IMHO. If my clients will get about three hours of my time typing (just includes the time I spend typing) for each spell they purchase (so this is their support and instruction and me answering their questions during the manifestation phase, - part of the spell price,) and you just had me spend 3 hours with you so I could discuss your problems with you when you didn't buy anything and have no intention of paying me for that time...do you think you're being abusive? Because you are if you don't intend to pay me or the person you're speaking with for those three hours. See number 3 for your new reputation. ;)
I know everyone wants something for free, but everyone also wants to be compensated for doing their job. Keep that in mind, be polite, don't take up a lot of your wouldbe spellworker's time, and we won't mind spending an extra five or ten minutes helping you, often for free. ;)
6. Remember, don't ask a question if you don't want the honest answer. If I'm in a reading, and you ask me if someone's ever coming back, and the answer is no? Don't kill the messenger. The answer was no, I was honest. Get a second opinion or pay someone to tell you what to hear, but don't blame me if what I picked up was the answer you didn't want to hear. That goes with spells, too. Do you REALLY want to know if I think a spell can make you a surgeon when you don't even have a high school degree? The answer is no, one spell can't do that. ;) DO NOT attack a worker for being honest to you. There are people out there that will tell you ANYTHING you want to hear, but if it sounds too good to be true, there is a good chance they are lying. I've had to tell people with problems that really did not seem so bad, but that I felt like I'd be ineffective in getting them what they requested (I just picked it up,) and couldn't help them for that reason, so it's not often even personal if someone tells you that they can't help you.
I hope this list has been helpful to clients and workers alike.
Plagiarism is bad, and I will prosecute it to the fullest extent of the law. All information and images (unless otherwise noted) are the property of OriginalNinjaCat, copyright OriginalNinjaCat, and can't be copied, copied and pasted, used or transmitted without my permission and proper attribution.