Cat's Rants - Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

On Doing Money/Prosperity Work (in Prep for a Forthcoming Money Spell Post)

Hey Occulties+,

Today I wanted to discuss doing work for prosperity, and some of the more common misconceptions I find people have about doing this type of work. Since I also need to get aboard the prosperity-spell train (I've been slacking in my own prosperity spellwork department, *sigh*) I can definitely say that right now I empathize with more than one person trying to do this work. ;)

So, let's discuss a few of the more basic problems/issues/misconceptions I have observed when working with people new-er to magic.

Doing a one-candle money spell once (and only once,) is unlikely (and almost guaranteed not to,) bring you an outrageously huge unending stream of income.

One of the more common misconceptions I see among those new to magic is that if you get a seven day candle dressed and blessed just right, or petition the "right being" (Mithras, Mercury, Jupiter, Cashlord*,) just that once, you're going to find a windfall amount of money headed your way.

In reality, you should see an uptick in finances (be that through more work, found money, a raise, etc,) but in all likelihood, it's not going to be outrageous, nor will it last forever. When I was doing a regular seven day candle on money about 2x a month, I was definitely making more money than I have without doing this service for myself, but I was also working a lot more. More work = more money. This is a pretty common finding. You might get opportunities to make money (which you should take so you can make money,) but it is often that the money is still being earned rather than found. This might mean more customers at your job. This could mean being offered time and a half to do over-time. I guess what I'm trying to impart is that it often does manifest as that you have more work to do (to earn that money.)

If you're seeking gambling luck, this can pay off, too, but keep in mind, if you invest $1 on a scratch ticket and win $50, you just made a 50x return on your investment. That might be all you make. :P It wouldn't be the first time I've seen that, and honestly, $50 isn't going to get you far in life these days. I have always strongly advocated towards seeking money through job prosperity and not through gambling. Rare is it (I've never actually heard of it happening) that someone wins powerball because they did a spell. :P

So you SHOULD see a positive rise in your finances, yes, but as far as it being a windfall amount? Meh. It could be a permanent change, like a raise, but "windfall amount" stories are often fictitious, and definitely so if you're just using a seven day candle once.

For the best outcome, you should be working on your money situation continuously, especially if using smaller and more mild work, like seven day candles.

Furthermore, if you're petitioning any saint, spirit, or deity for an income, that candle is an offering. You should be making frequent offerings if you really want that spirit/being/deity to smile upon you. Think of it like this... If you give me a cookie once, and only once ever, how likely is it that I will always come over and help you with every single problem you have? Not likely. Once the cookie is gone, and you keep asking me to do shit - without any further thanks or compensation, - I'm probably going to stop helping because I'm receiving no reward or recognition. Same idea. If you only give one offering once, or one episode of praise once, don't expect any being to help you past the once. :P

Prosperity work is best done before emergency situations crop up.

All too often, people complain that they are having a financial emergency, and they need money NOW NOW NOW. Well, sure, I've been there - I think most of us have, - and I can understand why you would think this way...but it doesn't escape the reality that the best time to do prosperity work is NOT when you're desperate for money.

Those of you familiar with my many long speeches on "thinking spells to death" (a.k.a. lust for results,) are probably more familiar with the idea of "If I'm obsessed with my love target, then my spell with either falter or take forever to manifest." Well, yes, of course that can be very true. However, I've said a thousand zillion times (not on the blog, but in life,) that I have a big ol' problem with thinking my money spells to death. Why? Because I need to keep doing prosperity work before emergency situations crop up, lol. ;) Instead of always remembering to do that, I have been known to start pitching money and prosperity spells out the moment I find myself about 2 weeks from starving or getting my lights shut off (well, not really...the electric company has yet to shut off my lights for missing one bill.) The end result is that I do, alas, often begin to panic as the due date for the bill nears. While I've some really nice friends who have gotten me out of a bind before (because I do tend to pay them back very quickly...like when I stop thinking my money spell to death because the bill has been paid and it manifests because I'm not panicking anymore,) I have definitely thought my money spells unto death...because I'm worrying the situation to death.

This is easily avoided. I could just be doing constant money/prosperity work rather than waiting until the last moment when the situation is dire and I'm all wound up about money... So, see, I'm a human like you, and sometimes wait to do things til the last moment (thus leading to panic and lust for results)...which I do not recommend that you or I wait until a financial emergency to start spellcasting for prosperity...so, I'm a bad role model in this way, lol. (I was not raised well in regards to money, never finding it to be an important thing, which is an unfortunate teaching which has dogged me my whole life, though it has made me a less avaricious person than most.)

However, even past the "emergency situations probably cause lust for results" issue, and the "it needs time to manifest" issue (really, you want to give yourself 2-4 weeks at least for manifestation of prosperity spells, generally speaking,) by avoiding ONLY using prosperity work during an emergency, and doing it frequently we ensure a constant money stream.

Look...having a LITTLE BIT OF MONEY, or even a BIG BIT OF MONEY isn't a CONSTANT STREAM OF MONEY. If I have $500 in my pocket, it doesn't take long to spend that. If I have $2000, it might take me a little longer, but, still, I can spend it. ;) My point isn't that I could have some amazing new shoes (only $900!) if I had $2k, it's that without a constant stream of prosperity flowing back into my life, I'm going to spend almost any amount I make within a certain period of time. Plenty of bills and charges are recurring. Food, shelter, heat, water - all of this costs money. If you constantly work for prosperity to come into your life, then you can pay these bills with ease. If you just wait until you're underwater financially, the life raft that sails over to you might not come in time, and might be overwhelmed by the weight of your own debt when it does.

Keep your "sphere of availability" in mind.

Ask yourself before you begin: "Where is this money (realistically,) apt to come from?"

Ask yourself before you begin: "Do you have the ability to take on new projects? Would I be willing to change jobs?"

I've discussed "monkey paw" outcomes before, but allow me to be very frank with you for a moment. Sometimes people ask for money, and their house burns down and it's the insurance money that they get. Sometimes someone could die and leave them money (and it's someone that they love very much.) Sometimes they could get permanently disabled in an accident and it's the settlement money.

I'm a big believer in NOT limiting your roads to manifestation too much, but there is nothing wrong with stipulating "This money must come without damage to people or property," or something similar. Now, what are your options for getting that money then? If you're limited enough (and the Universe is infinitely smarter than you, so I'm sure you're not seeing a few routes,) that might make it near to impossible to get large amounts. If you need $35k by tomorrow, and that's a years' salary to most of the people that you know, I suggest you start smaller. :P See, spells will take the path of least resistance to manifest, but if you're asking for something way way way outside of your sphere of availability, if you're also limiting paths of manifestation in regards to that outcome as well, you might be limiting your spells ABILITY to manifest. If I did a spell TODAY for $50k in 2 weeks, short of someone dying and leaving me that (in which case, it would be in escrow for months, as is,) I'm not apt to get it. I've a few friends who make a lot of money, but they are either not that giving (sorry, friends) or they aren't apt to just hand me a large amount unless they are dead because that's still a large amount. I'm not like to get that in 2 weeks. If I do, death and destruction ARE the only methods of manifestation that I can think of.

If you're jobless, you're better doing work to bring yourself a job and enough to pay the rent than you are attempting to go for large amounts. Remember what I said above, - this type of work is best done on a regular basis, not an emergency basis. As you continue to use prosperity work, your income will grow. As your income grows, you slowly make more and more until you reach a large amount.

STOP assuming it's a lottery win or gambling that will get you a large windfall.

I have no time for people who seek this sort of income, there is plenty of info on the internet why this is a failing proposition, and I won't entertain conversation about it on my blog (because I have before.) :)

OK, kiddos, money spell soon! :)

~Cat

Did you know I'm trying to fundraise so that I can write a book? Send donations here!

You can follow me on Twitter @CatAstrophied! :)

+Still adding my 2014 posts. Sorry. December was overwhelmingly busy – I was working 14+ hour days at the job, which wasn't leaving much time for writing. :(

*I totally just made up Cashlord. Pretty sure that isn't a deity or spirit.

COPYRIGHT ORIGINALNINJACAT.COM - Please do not share, copy and paste, copy in part, transmit, plagiarize or in any way use my work without my express, written permission. Copyright is so strictly enforced that I have scary lawyers and they love your money and are sue-happy. :P

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Questions You've Asked Me: January 2015 edition

Hey there my Occulties+,

Welcome to another exciting day at Cat's Rants.

Today, being relatively uninspired (well, I should say being stuck in a house with 2 people who emulate Mary Typhoid when sick - like coughing on their hand and putting it into a bag of chips and drinking right out of the container of whatever, - which isn't me being uninspired by this as much as frozen in abject horror at the likelihood of catching their horrid gastroenteritis,) I'm just going to post a little Q&A. :)

I know you all love Questions You've Asked Me, so let's get to it! :)

Q: If I used the wrong name on a name paper, will my spell not work? For example, if the first name and surname are correct, but the middle name is not, will this render my spell moot.

A: It could. I don't recommend guessing anything, and I recommend using only information you KNOW about your target.

For example, if I want to do a spell on a John R. Smith, and I decide his middle name is "Rambo," only to find out it's something much more common like "Robert" or "Richard," then this is a little like someone taking your social security number, changing a number, and assuming that's still going to be you. :P So, if you're suddenly getting mean letters from the IRS because your Social Security number is the one AFTER the one being used and they say "What the hell, close enough, pay so-and-so's taxes," would you agree to that? Here's another scenario. Let's say you are John Rambo Smith, and you have to go to court the same day as John Robert Smith - John Robert being a mass murderer. So, you, John Rambo, are there on a minor traffic infraction. Seeing as you're both John R. Smith, would you like to get the death penalty for a traffic infraction just because someone confused you two and said "Close enough, you're both John R. Smith, after all."

Am I being ridiculous? ;)

We are named what we are named because that is a method of identifying us. Just like we have fingerprints, and government issued identification numbers, and DNA, and different facial traits, and different histories and etc. All of this little stuff identifies us. I do have friends who have the same name as many other people. This doesn't make them any less unique of a person, but, should I use them in a spell, I will want to be sure I'm identifying who I'm working with. It is better to PROPERLY name a person than it is to improperly name them. Use what you know. If that's only an initial in some cases, so be it. If you use the wrong name, then you're not working on the right person.

The one exception I might take here is using the wrong surname in a situation suchas working with a woman who has changed her maiden name to a married surname of a man she is or is no-longer married to (in some cases using that name instead of her maiden name.) While I personally believe it is BETTER to have someone's original baptismal name (or birth name, because not everyone is baptized,) when working on them, I believe names they have legally changed still work.

Q: What is a magic wand used for?

A: Most people (if not all) in Hoodoo do not use a wand. However, in some traditions, a wand is used a bit like a pointer stick. It can be used to "trace lines" (so basically to send energy from body, into the wand, to direct it into the making of a magic circle. I have known people to use this implement to literally draw a magic circle out in the dirt.

It is basically an item which energy is sent through, and it is used to direct said energy.

My personal view of it is a cross between a pointer-stick and a maestro's baton, but as an energy-directing device also.

If you want to Harry Potter it up, if someone is pointing the wand at another person and speaking a chant (assuming actual energy is being sent via will and energy transfer,) they are, technically doing the equivalent of pointing a laser at someone that actually does something - like if I pointed a laser at you and said "ashes" and it bipped out a laser that instantly incinerated you. However, if we go all Disney here, just waving it about and singing a song is not apt to turn pumpkins into coaches or get you all snazzed out in a 1950's looking ball gown. :P

As far as tools go, it's certainly something which has it's uses in certain paradigms, but it is like a conduit or a wire more than it is like a gun. The wand itself is a device to send the energy, but the energy comes from the mage, not the wand. While a well made wand might send that energy better (that's a huge argument for another day,) being a novice with a nice wand probably won't improve your magical ability from 0 to 100. Perhaps thinking of it a bit like a muzzle of a gun with the mage himself or herself being the rest of the gun might be a nice comparison. If the gun itself doesn't work right, having a nice barrel won't do too much.

Q: You've said "Some things aren't yours to have" in a few previous posts. Can you expand on this?

A: Yes. I think most of us get that if I'm holding a goose, I can't wish it into being a duck. A goose is a goose, and if I want a duck, I'll need to go get a duck. Just praying really hard that my goose turns into a duck *poof* will not make it a duck, and dressing it as a duck won't make it a duck. We all get this, yeah?

So, sometimes when people come to me, they say "Cat, I love Marvin Sugartitties so much - except he's dishonest, and uncommunicative, and he cheats, and he isn't funny, and I don't like how he laughs, and I think his mama is a bitch, and I think his dog is smelly, and I also hate his political views, but I love Marvin. Can you make Marvin sweet and honest, and communicative, and loyal, and funny, and laugh right, and make his mama be nice, and make his dog die or not smell, and change his political views?" Well, you should go back up to the previous paragraph where I talk about how a goose can't be a duck. Marvin's a goose, and you want a duck. I can't make Marvin someone he isn't, in other words. In fact, sounds like our theoretical example guy here isn't who the person wants to begin with. I get that "Marvin" is handsome or has attributes that someone likes, but if so many things do not make you happy, you don't want Marvin...you probably just want his body. So making Marvin something he isn't is not possible. In fact, if you work some love mojo on Marvin, he's just going to still be Marvin, except he loves you lots now. Love spells make someone LOVE you* - so it doesn't make someone an asshole, it makes an asshole feel love for you.

So making someone into something they aren't? That's an example of it's not going to happen. You want x but it's not going to happen...

I think most of you get that.

Now, I'm really bad at singing. I could take classes for years, but I'll never have a melodious voice. Ever. If I do work to try to become a singer, it's not going to change that I don't have a nice voice. Physically, I was not graced with a singer's voice. Even if I learn to hold a tune (also tone-deaf,) I will never sound like an angel. So, having an angelic voice? Not going to happen. I might become like Janis Joplin type of singer, but no one's going to think I'm say... Karen Carpenter in regards to having a lovely voice - no spell will change that. It's just how God made me.

I think most of you get that. Some limitations we are born with, and we will likely have regardless of how many spells we do. I'm short. Not growing anymore. I wear heels. I'm too old to grow taller, so that's as tall as I get. No spell will change that. I'm past the age of growth (positive growth, anyhow, lol, I could get fatter,) so no spell will make me taller.

So....we all get this right? But what's "Not yours to have," mean then? Is it the above? In some ways, sure. You're asking to change what is not yours to change, but that's not entirely what I mean by not yours to have. Sometimes, for reasons we can't gather, we don't get what we want. Maybe I'm in love with someone who's very compatible with me, who's not out of my league looks wise, who is a friend, who's a wonderful person, and no amount of spells makes him budge. And why? Because for some reason only the Universe/God/dess/etc knows, it's not mine to have. Maybe he has to marry someone else because something big has to happen. Maybe he needs to move to some part of the world that I am not meant to move to. I do think all things happen for a reason, and while it's a small percentile (very very very small) that we ask for something that SEEMS LIKE it should be easily within our sphere of availability, it's just not ours to have. The Universe sees your request and rejects it. It's a very small probability this will happen, but it does.

Q: I heard you like vodka.

A: You heard right. (Seriously, received an email with nothing other than this statement in it.)

Q: How long do you believe is too long to work on a problem? Is there a time limit where you should just say "Well fuck this, I've worked too long on this issue and there's been nothing to show for it!"?

A: Being of a great deal of Irish and Scottish heritage, it's not in my nature to give up easily or be a quitter. Heck, I'm even related to Robert the Bruce, and I tell myself the story of Robert the Bruce and the Spider when I'm ready to give in. So...for what it's worth, I understand not wanting to give up on something. However, I also believe that being an idiot is basically defined by doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. So if I cast the same love spell over and over, and get no result, I'm not being smart.

For that reason, I suggest changing your tactics. There is not just one love spell, or one trigger that works to induce feelings of love. Try more than one. Same with money spells, legal spells, job spells, curses, controlling spells - all of these use different elements, different triggers...and maybe you need to cleanse the situation and try again, etc, etc. Change your tactics, adjust your plans, and you might find you're gaining more traction in the situation than you were before.

However, if you've thrown everything and the kitchen sink at a problem spellwise, and it's been so long that you can't even remember what it is that you were wanted (what was your need or desire to have thing thing based on) to begin with, it might be time to give up...or maybe even just "put it aside" for awhile. I don't believe that 10 years of dedication on getting something, when you've tried everything and hardly made a dent, is helpful to you. While I can't give you a set frame of time where if you've not gotten something you want, you should just say "Fuck this," and walk off, I do think it's reasonable to frequently assess (say every 2 months,) why you want this, how far you've gotten in getting this, and how important it is to you to have it. Is it taking over your life? (if so, that's bad.) Are you obsessed with having it? Do you really NEED this to be happy. It's okay to give up on something, you know. You can probably return to it at a later time. If it's valuable to you, it will still be valuable to you. Taking a break from trying to get something you want can be HEALTHY and HELPFUL.

Further, assess what obstacles are there. Maybe I wanted x job, only to realize I need a degree that I don't have. I didn't realize this before when I'd started working, and now I have come to the conclusion that I do not want to return to school. There's nothing wrong with saying "Well, x obstacle came up, and I feel that is more than I wish to overcome - it's too much to ask for me to get what I want."

In love matters, if someone's married and had some kids with someone else since you've been together, do you really love them to tear their family asunder just so you can selfishly have them? I don't think so. But then you probably won't listen to that. ;)

I guess, in short, it's not mine to tell you when it's time to give up. If you're asking yourself that, then it probably is time to give up - and it's at least time to reassess if it's something you still want for yourself. There is no time limit, as far as I'm concerned, but if something is never exactly where you want it to be, you've tried everything, and you're getting sick of trying, ask yourself honestly "Is this worth it, or should I give up?" If you're ready to give up, then stop spellcasting to that end.

Sorry if this was a brief one, folks. :) Hope you enjoyed it and it was educational. I will try to get another QYAM out next month.

~Cat

Did you know I'm trying to fundraise so that I can write a book? Send donations here!

+Still adding my 2014 posts. Sorry. December was overwhelmingly busy – I was working 14+ hour days at the job, which wasn't leaving much time for writing. :(

*Love spells can't make someone compatible with you, but they can make someone feel more lovey towards you. I do not believe in "love zombies" and if it was never compatible, it will just fall apart eventually, no matter how many love spells you do.

COPYRIGHT ORIGINALNINJACAT.COM - Please do not share, copy and paste, copy in part, transmit, plagiarize or in any way use my work without my express, written permission. Copyright is so strictly enforced that I have scary lawyers and they love your money and are sue-happy. :P

Q&A: Love or Reconciliation?

Hey Occulties+,

This just swam into my inbox. I thought it was a good question, so I'm putting it here. I've paraphrased and changed names to protect the querent. Thank you for letting me use this, person who asked said question. ;)

Q: About 7 years ago, I broke up with a man who I was very much in love with at the time. We fought for a year or so, but then reconciled as friends. I did not want him back at that point. We stayed in touch, talked maybe every 2-3 months, and about 2 years ago, we ended up making love while really drunk at a friend's wedding. It didn't turn into a relationship, and we stayed (very casual) friends. However, around Halloween, I started thinking I might want to get into a relationship again. He's single, I'm single, and I just think we could really make it work this time. If he's interested in the same thing as me, he's great at hiding it. I think he might have some sexual attraction but I do not know. I know he loves me as a friend. Should I use reconciliation? Love? Lust? What are your thoughts?

Q: While you don't specify if there were things he might not forgive you for regarding the previous relationship, I'm going to operate under the assumption that all is forgiven. If it is, then do not worry about reconciliation or return to me work. If you worry there might be some lingering resentment from the past, you might do some simple candle work like a reconciliation seven day vigil light dressed and blessed to that purpose.

I'm going to operate under the suspicion that the problem here is that you're not on his mind romantically. When he saw you at the wedding, he either found you to be an easy mark for sexual activity (sorry to say it, but exes often are,) or perhaps alcohol did arouse some old romantic feelings - however, now you're not going to be on his mind much because you're not in his life.

I recommend using Come to Me products, something to make him more talkative (Dara Anzlowar's Talk to Me formula is very good,) and to go after making him feel romantically loving towards you. Some additional mild lust work DEFINITELY wouldn't hurt here (men often are led by their penises - sorry, guys, lol, but girls often are led by their coochies, too, hehe,) but I suggest using more ROMANTIC love type of workings than sexual as I feel that if you're too strongly sexual, you're more apt to bring about a sexual relationship rather than the romantic relationship you're seeking.

Remember, with any target, don't suddenly become all smothering. Be open to their advances without being too overwhelming. Desperation is the world's worst cologne, and people can smell it all over you if you smother someone the moment they pay attention to you. Be flirtatious if he flirts, but otherwise be friendly, light, easy to approach.

Hope that was educational, kids. :)

~Cat

+Still adding my 2014 posts. Sorry. December was overwhelmingly busy – I was working 14+ hour days at the job, which wasn't leaving much time for writing. :(

Book Review - Seven Spheres by Rufus Opus

Hey Occulties,+

As promised, here is my book review of Seven Spheres by Rufus Opus

Five-stars*, highly-recommended! A useful primer not only for the Hermetic magician, but for any student of the occult.

Written in an affable and perspicacious tone, Seven Spheres adeptly describes the influence of the seven traditional "planets" of the occult (Sun, Moon, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, Saturn,) and how, through ritual and practice, the student can use each to positively impact their own lives. The rituals are easy enough for the beginner to use, while being powerful enough for even the most practiced magician to find useful as well. The final chapter on talisman creation and maintenance gives invaluable information not only for those who would create a talisman but for those who have purchased such an item (and who often are unaware of the proper protocol for using such items.)

Hermetics can be, in my opinion, a confusing paradigm for many beginners - it's hard to know where to start, and many of the traditional grimoiric texts are medieval or ancient and difficult for a modern audience to digest. While there are a few books out there which offer a very thorough description for the modern reader, they are perhaps too thorough or too traditional, and might "turn off," a contemporary seeker. Instead of suggesting 200 pages of diagrams, months of tool-creation, or weeks of fasting and prayer, Rufus Opus gives his readers instant access to starting full initiation into the seven spheres (planetary influences) of the Hermetic and magical world.

As a long time fan of RO's blog,** I had high expectations of this book, and was not disappointed. I recommend this book to all. :)

~Cat

+Still adding my 2014 posts. Sorry. December was overwhelmingly busy – I was working 14+ hour days at the job, which wasn't leaving much time for writing. :(

*RO should have written this with ink made from the blood of the "legs" of Abrasax, so I should technically remove 2 stars for him using normal ink and shit. I also asked him to rub my copy on his mystical chest hairs but he didn't. I did not subtract a star for that, either, because apparently I'm a nice person sometimes. Also, if you're incapable of understanding this asterisked paragraph is humor, go punch yourself in the crotch for lacking a sense of humor.

**Rufus Opus has a blog which you can access here.

On "Divine Retribution"

Hey Occulties,+

The other day, I was reading someone's fantasy about a man who, despite having been gifted financially and in the looks department, had been felled by an "unfortunate" (implied: mystical and magical curse) health problem in his prime which destroyed him because he'd been unkind to women. Apparently "the cancer" took him down, which if you know about cursing isn't the way a death curse is apt to take someone down in the prime of life (because a car accident, random violence, overdose or something similar is much more likely to kill someone in their prime.)

*sigh*

OK, how many nice people do you know who have been cut down in the prime of their days? I know a few. I know people who, despite being lovely people who would give you the shirt off of their back and they had no money to give you that shirt, died. They are dead. They were incredibly lovely, kind, beautiful souls - people who, in life, were the most amazing and wonderful people. They're dead. They died before they probably even saw one frigging grey hair.

Now, how many shitty fucking people do you know who lived (or are living) despite being miserable, awful, selfish, mean, churlish fuckfaces? I know a few. I know people who, despite never having taken care of themselves, never having been very loving or empathetic towards others, never doing many things which we consider good or wise, have continued to persist well into old age (or lived to their 80's.)

I know you wish that bad people had bad things happen, and good people had good things happen and that all things were equal before our eyes...from OUR perspective.

But you're being stupid (probably) because humans, while quite intelligent COMPARED TO OTHER INCARNATE BEINGS, are still really really stupid when compared to something infinitely intelligent like the Universe/God/dess/Creator/Spirit/etc. You - as a primate who's ancestors got smart enough to put some clothes on at some point, and learned to make fires and shit, - are not the one who says what happens to people. This is why nice people die, and mean people live, and nice people live on too, and then okay people get to live to like 90, but then not that OK person, they get to die at 25 in a fiery plane crash. The reason all of those people's fates are completely NOT RELATED TO DIVINE RETRIBUTION is you are not the divine. You don't get to say.

Now, I know, we all wanna scare the newbs into being good. Lord forbid they might get "power hungry," and try to hurt someone,* by using all of this unlimited power of now finding out that being a sack of crap to others doesn't mean a lightening bolt will strike at them out of the sky for it, but that's not how we teach people in our "modern" world. People are only that dumb for a limited time, and your tall tales of "this bad person rotted away from the inside for being bad," are only really going to appeal to the naive.

The reason, so far as I can tell, to be a "good person" in life is not a thing to do with worrying about the finger of God crushing you if you're not. If I go through my whole life being a selfish shit, when I need help from the other humans of this world, I won't find myself surrounded by friends but by enemies - it's because, when I come to the end of my days, I want to be remembered well, or at least remembered (and not in infamy and hated,) by a lot of people. I don't know what comes after this life, I do think we're here to learn lessons, and to evolve our souls, but being "mean to women" or "being selfish with money" isn't going to mark you for destruction...

I think we can all agree - kindness towards others is good. This is helpful to our species. When we are kind to others, when we help others, this is beneficial.

I think we can all agree - generosity is a good trait. When we share what we have with others, we help others which is beneficial to our species, and therefore good.

Loyalty is good. Friendship is good. Laughter is good. Helping is good. All of these are good. Being courageous, honest, merciful, and fair are all good.

Being a jerk, being selfish, lying, being unfair, being cruel - they all can be very bad. If in excess in someone's personality, they can be horribly bad...but they are a product of self-preservation instincts. They are not there in you because you are trying to get into hell or because you're the devil.

That fictitious dude the forum poster thought up? He probably "was cruel to women" because of some horrible stuff in his past. Maybe his mother sexually abused him, maybe another woman made a fool of him and robbed him blind as a young man. I'm not trying to make excuses to why it would be "right" for someone to be selfish and/or cruel (people rise above rough circumstances all of the time,) I'm saying that if this person was real (instead of an amusing caricature,) he was who he was for a reason. In that, if we do not have some sort of "mercy" or "compassion" for his state, we are no better than him. We do not get to choose that he die some awful slow death for being a meanie. There are reasons he's a meanie.

And as much as we want people to pay for their "crimes" in this life that aren't illegal (rejecting us, being cruel, being selfish, abandonment, not helping us, etc.,) the truth is most of us would be pretty upset if suddenly asked to pay for ours. The truth is we all know some wonderful person (or maybe even an innocent child,) who died (sometimes horribly) despite leading a good life, and we all know bad people who lived very long. Stop trying to add a mythology here to reassure yourself that good people get good things and bad people get bad things. The reality, from what I can tell, is that you get a set amount of time (you don't know how long) and you should evolve your soul and your spirit. If you waste it on being petty and selfish, I don't think you will be destroyed for this. I think you've wasted your time if you do that, I think you will be lonely and unloved and that is a miserable existence, but I don't believe your creator hates you for it. Religion is a lovely thing - I'm a spiritual person, and I believe that my religion and spiritual beliefs have evolved me so that I want to give and want to help more than I ever did. However, I don't think that in the end, if you're a godless miserable fuck, that you will be much worse off than me, other than you being really confused about being dead (whereas I learned enough about death and being dead from the dead to not be so confused.)

I do think kindness and compassion for all things is right. I do not believe refusal to be one or the other will bring the ultimate outcome of you withering into a husk in your prime. You might, you might not. You could be awesome and die bad. Do what you can WHILE ALIVE to be a good person and the rewards IN THIS LIFE will be friends and happiness. I can't tell you what happens when you die other than I do believe there is an afterlife.

I know this was a rant, but just avoid the people who tell you suspicious stories about how people who were awful in life found a just end (that sounds divine or magical.) My experience is that this is not so. Nice things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to good people. It has always been this way. Anyone trying to sell you on anything otherwise is not doing you any favors. There is a real this life reward in being kind and good - it's the love of your peers.

And that's coming from a very religious/spiritual person, so I obviously have some religion-beliefs I don't feel the need to slap you in the face with. Everyone can use my message. :P

Rant over.

~Cat

+Still adding my 2014 posts. Sorry. December was overwhelmingly busy – I was working 14+ hour days at the job, which wasn't leaving much time for writing. :(

*This idea that "power hungry newbs shall wreak destruction everywheres" is pretty hilarious. By the time most people are capable of spellcasting at a proficient level, they have spiritually and emotionally evolved past "I wanna curse someone for calling me a bitch." If they haven't, they will always be this much of an asshole, and just scaring them in their newb days won't put them off of misusing what they know. If I teach 1000 people how to shoot, it doesn't mean all 1000 of them will become murderers - in fact, the same amount of psychos will exist in that number regardless of whatever they are taught. "Scaring people straight" does not, in my experience, offset any bad behaviors very long.

On Failing

Hey there Occulties,+

I was recently inspired by a forum post in a facebook forum I belonged to, where a gentleman had posted a relatively nicely made tool he'd made "hadn't worked."

Now I put that in quotes not because I disbelieve the man (I believe it didn't work when he tried,) but more because I believe when it comes to magical tools, sometimes people do the same thing as clicking at a TV with a remote that doesn't contain batteries or an energy source, then complain the remote "doesn't work." ;) This is the same as those of you who light a candle or say what looks like an easy chant, then complain "it doesn't work" - it won't work if it has never had the energy to do so.

And, interestingly enough, one of the easiest ways to make something "magical" (albeit, you'll accuse me of pushing religion,) to work is to use something really really used. For example, the Pater Noster (Our Father) has been spoken so many times devoutly, that it does work for a blessing even if you don't believe - which honestly, I'd rather you say it with belief than none, it's just the words carry the weight of over a thousand years of faithful saying them with faith. ...Think of that like the battery that people all over the world keep charging. ;) It still works better if said with faith, but even the faithless can say it, and it may help...

That said, let's get away from prayer for a bit before all of my agnostic readers throw their hands in despair.

In Hoodoo, as I was taught and as I have learned, all things have an energy - living beings, parts of deceased beings, feathers, stones, roots, herbs, dirt, even every day items have an energy or a signature. Using the law of signatures as my base for my test (how does it grow? Where does it grow? What does it belong to? what is it near? what does it do? how does it effect humans? how does it effect others of it's kind? etc, etc,) I can often figure out what an unknown substance might do magically. For example, if we are trying to bring money to ourselves, we might use dirt from a bank for an ingredient. As all of these items have an innate or natural "charge" to them, we can use this power to bring forth that which we desire, when we combine items properly....but if we look at this like baking, just because I have all of the ingredients for a cake, this doesn't mean I know what amount to add to the cake, or what to set the oven to and for how long. ;) That knowledge comes with practice and effort. (See Why are practitioners such bags of dicks here.)

Oh, good Lord....I've suggested rewards aren't always immediate in spellcasting for yourself, and that some effort and practice is probably required. Everyone hold open the door to the Rant Room and let the "spellcast once for myself for a quick fix" people out of the room.

There, now that we're alone with serious students, back to my tangent. ;)

So, back to the gentleman who'd made a magical tool that "didn't work..." I'm of a mind that certain types of work - that is, certain paradigms, - are not necessarily good beginner work, and what he'd created would be a tool for that very type of not-the-best-for-beginners-type of work. In Hoodoo, I see this far less in the sense of "I went and bought this ancient tome, see, and then applied 14 hours of work to making this thing it told me to make, and jack shit happened." In Hoodoo, often if we apply focus of will, and a stillness of the mind, we're not so worried if we fasted for 14 days, didn't masturbate or have sex for another fortnight, and painted in the blood of 15 dead unicorns* to make some particular tool work. This means, while there is something to be learned, practiced, and wielded (that is, will,) we are also assisted by the natural energies within the ingredients we are using.** Rather than spending months or even years achieving some level of mastery just so as we can have a set of tools that works amazingly well (or a set of rituals that works amazingly well, see Frater Ashen Chassan's Ars Almadel experiments, here for example, and here,) it is my personal belief that Hoodoo employs what is, for the most part, easily accessible (except if you're an incredibly lazy or incredibly cheap asshole...and it even works for several cheap assholes,) Hoodoo can be successfully employed by beginners who focus their will and don't give into lust for results.

Once we use natural energies in each item as well as our own (remember all those times I said charge the candle, or envision x or y thing? This is what I mean when I say using your own will, or adding energy, etc,) in Hoodoo, we often achieve success.

Failure, however, is inevitable - not in all attempts at spellcasting, but in some. Even the most practiced master of the art will fail at times. I've mentioned before an incident where, in my younger days, I'd used Mars-based energy on a reconciliation (thinking that sexual passion would be a key element to bringing back the target,) only to discover I was involved in some fisticuffs action with the target instead (because Mars rules the grosser lusts which include wrath.) While this was not a failure in the sense of "nothing happened," and while this was not a failure in the sense that I never had the target come back to me (he did, in time,) it didn't really work as an effective reconciliation in the sense of "Wow, he's so sorry for his actions, and wants to be my baby right now." ;) I don't even view that as a failure, really. Something happened.

And maybe this is where you and I do not see eye to eye... To me, there is a sliding scale of success...or maybe it's a tree...or something. I mean there is the effect of "Nothing happened." Which is to say, after years of waiting (yep,) I can honestly still say at this moment in time that what I did resulted in no effect whatsoever. That's a definite fail.

YEARS!!!?!?!??!

Yes, years, because I've had incidents where I didn't learn of the effects til more than a few years later, and it ended up that I had a pretty resounding impact, actually, I just didn't get what I want in the way I wanted it. :P So, technically I was successful (I had one guy suicidally in love with me who never told me, and was "outed" by his friends years afterwards for example,) but whoever was impacted didn't make a move where I could see it. Sometimes it's that I didn't see my opportunities until the hindsight I had was 20/20, either. Like "Oh, if I had just done this or that thing when the opportunity presented itself, I'd be $35k richer right now. WTH, why didn't I grab that opportunity? Hrm..." I did go over this in another article to some degree (about trying to find opportunities) so we've actually touched on this subject before...

But let's go back to the proverbial success tree...success being the branches, fail being the roots..

So, as far as I can tell, results (so types of success) from spells fall under the following categories:***

1. TOTAL AND COMPLETE SUCCESS! Good job, you got everything you hoped for and basically in a relatively predictable way. No surprises here. You wanted x job, and got hired for x job. You wanted y person, and y person came to you like they'd loved you forever.

2. Somewhat unexpected success! Good job, you got everything you hoped for, but, as I often remind my readers, it came to you in some manner you didn't entirely expect it to. ;) Maybe you didn't get a promotion at your current job (like you suspected you would when spellcasting for a higher paying job,) but instead got a much better job at a different firm. Maybe the police didn't arrest your neighbor for being...well, a criminal (as you suspected they would when you cast a spell to get that person out of your building,) but instead your neighbor got evicted by the landlord for non-payment of rent. Maybe your ex didn't text you when you discovered they wanted you back but rather ran into you at the convenience store and blurted out that they love you.

3. Wholly unexpected outcomes that were eventually a success. While this is similar to #2 and #4 on this list, it is not entirely the same. For example, let's say you want to reconcile an old partner. Initially, after the spell is cast, this person argues with you a lot or acts distant. About 2 months after the work, the person tells you that they'd had so much animosity towards you that if it had never come out, they could not reconcile with you, and they DO reconcile with you. OR, let's say you spellcasted for a better and higher paying job (not specifying you remain at the same job.) About 2 weeks later, you're fired for some totally bullshit reason from your current job. When you apply to a few places thereafter, you are met with animosity or coldness from prospective employers. Just when you're about to give up, your old friend Zeke calls from the opposite coast that you live on (or maybe from the mid-west, wheresoever you have a friend named Zeke, heh,) and you dish that you've lost your job and everything seems bad. Zeke mentions he still has some connections where you live and makes a few calls. Voila! You are given a better job with better pay as opposed to the job you were fired from.

4. "Monkey's Paw" success. Among the occultists I know, a "Monkey's Paw" effect is getting what you want in an undesirable way, and is the meaning of "be careful for what you wished for, as you just might get it." It references a famous W. W. Jacobs story. Sometimes the outcome is that you never wanted what you asked for to begin with - you get the job you requested only to find out that you despise the job and everyone who works there. Maybe you ask for the love of a person only to discover that they are obsessive, possessive and abusive (and now quite ardently in love with you.) Or perhaps you ask for money, and your house burns down (but the insurance pays out nicely.)

5. Something definitely happened. This is the most common type of "failure" which is actually (in my mind) a success. You made an impact, but perhaps not to the level or of the kind that you desired. My "Mars for reconciliation" episode mentioned above could be filed under this (I got a reaction from the target, and he WAS sorry for his behavior later which led to some reconciliation, but admittedly I wasn't looking to get into a physical altercation with a man I wanted to reconcile.) More than one attempt at magic tends to find itself filed under this header - we use something we are sure will work, and, while it has a noticeable effect, it's as if it falls short of our goals - rarely (well, perhaps when you get out of the neophyte stage is it rare,) is it as silly as "Let's use the God of War for reconciliation" type of outcome (because as a beginner/intermediate I tried a lot of weird things experimentally without considering some things I now would see as obvious mistakes,) and more commonly, it's a matter of seeing a noticeable impact from what we've tried to achieve with spells without getting what we want.

6. Total and complete desirable impact with missed opportunity (success, but you didn't grab the opportunity.) Sometimes, because we are humans and believe ourselves far smarter than we really are, we just miss something. ;) For example, you spellcast for certain traits in a lover rather than a particular person only to realize you started chasing anything that showed interest and missed the best one for you. OR you spellcasted for a good new job, and once you turned in a bunch of applications you took the job that, even though you felt a better fit at a job that paid $2 less an hour, paid the most, only to realize the slightly-lower-paying job was your dream job. Sometimes you even work to reconcile someone only to be too proud to do so when the opportunity presents itself. :( This isn't a spell-failure, it's human failure. On the positive, your spell totally worked! On the negative, you're probably going to have to try again because it worked and you didn't grab opportunity by the nutsack when opportunity's nutsack was out.

7. Hidden success. I'd mentioned above that there have been times in my life where I only found out a great time later that I'd been entirely successful in my work. While I find this more often when cursing (because I don't poke around to hear about someone's misfortune, as it is my belief that this is counter productive to the curse working,) I've also had the experience where I'd made someone suicidally in love with me (according to mutual friends years later,) when all he ever showed me of that was that he tried to steal a kiss (he had reasons for holding back which were quite good, but if I'd realized how I'd tortured the young man at the time, I'd never have let it get that far.) Sometimes we are all far more successful in our workings than we realize, though some people might also categorize this as #5 above.

And failures are basically under the following categories:

1. Spell failure, no obvious reason. Sometimes you do everything right, and as far as you can tell, nothing happens...while this might fall under 6 or 7 on the success list later (sometimes even a 5 on that list,) there will always be those incidents which NOTHING HAPPENS, and for no real understandable reason, no matter who you ask...though, if it's not under the success list after a few years, it's probably because one of the reasons 2-4 below...

2. It's not yours to have. We can't have everything we want in life. Sorry. I can't sing a note, and even if I trained my voice for years, I'd still not have a great singing voice. It's just how God made me. I'm fine with that. Also, I really love Ryan Gosling's body...I don't think that's mine to have either (though, Mr Gosling, you're free to prove me wrong there at any time.) I will never be tall. I'm terrible with math, so I'll probably never be a five-star mathematician...but I think MOST of us can understand basic limitations like this.... HOWEVER, sometimes we just don't see that what LOOKS like it could be ours can't be ours. Maybe it's a job, maybe it's someone you know, maybe it's a lot of things, but for whatever reason, the Universe has decided that which you seek is not yours to have at this time.

3. You fucked up the spell. You didn't focus, you didn't let go of the spellwork, you thought it to death, you obsessed, you worked against the spell energy, you did something wrong while casting, you did something wrong after casting, you didn't do the right things before casting...honestly, this is one of the more common reasons for failure. The remedy? I guess, if you still want that thing, try again. ;)

4. You suck at spells. I'm just going to come out and say it - some people are just not at all capable of spellcasting, and will never be more than meh at doing it. That's a smallish percentile. The next group is a group of people who have to work really really really really hard, but after lots and lots of practice, they become somewhat competent at it (and never amazing or even good.) That's a reasonable sized percentile. The next group is a group of people who definitely have to put a good deal of work in, but the effort pays off, and they are quite good. That's also a reasonable sized percentile. Then comes the naturals...they are good to start with, but need to work to be amazing. That's a smallish percentile. Look, I have a bachelors degree in fine arts - do you know how many impressive artists there are who will never be masters at it? A large percentile. It's the same idea. Find any vocation which requires practice, study, and skill, and you will find only a small percentile become true masters at that skill, while some people - no matter how much study and practice they put in, - are never going to be good at it. Spellcasting is no different.

So, we've gone over successes and failures, and I can honestly say a good 75% or so of spells (aimed at a realistic end - not at turning oneself into a werewolf or winning lotteries,) will fall under the success part of the tree in some way or another...at least in my experience. With failure - I've said it a thousand times, the most common reason for failure is lust for results/thinking the spell to death, and it's entirely avoidable. :P

HOWEVER, I don't think failure is always (or even often) a bad thing. I've learned from every failure or every not-stunning success.

Remember, people give up because of SLOW PROGRESS, never realizing that slow progress IS STILL PROGRESS. Maybe that failure is part of you still making progress on the situation. Did you really want what you started spellcasting for? If you don't get it immediately, will you just NOT LEARN ANYTHING AND GIVE UP? If you will, then I highly suggest you go to some sort of place where they put a crash helmet on you and nice people help you get dressed. You aren't capable of achieving anything in life (because nothing worth having is effortless,) and might as well give up on trying to get anything or lead a life. :P Or you're a product of the internet age, and you should stop reading my blog because no one instilled beliefs in you like "hard work and effort pay off." I'm sorry you have bad/incapable parents/teachers (but very capable enablers, apparently,) then, but I take no responsibility for you being so stupid/inept/lazy. :(

For the rest of you...failure is not a shameful thing, it's a learning opportunity. Remember above where I said "grab opportunity by the nutsack?" Why aren't you? Even if you don't achieve what you set out to achieve (be that being with or being reunited with someone, or a desired better job, or more money, or revenge on an enemy, or even just to have more friends,) with spells, what did you learn by NOT getting what you wanted? OK, past that x spell didn't work. ;) WHY did it not work? Or why did it not work HOW YOU WANTED IT TO. Did you do everything right before? Did you stop thinking the work to death (or never start)? Did you cut corners with your spellwork? Can you direct your will? What were the planets doing when you spellcasted? Look at all the reasons FOR failure, and you will learn from failure.

And also those "successes that don't seem so successful," (for example "something happened, just not what I'd wanted,") are also some of the most amazing learning experiences out there. So, I didn't reconcile my ex to the point he wanted to reunite with me, but now he's not against being my friend...what did I do wrong there? Was I not using enough sexual element? Was it not enough romance? Why is he afraid to come back to me? What are the psychological and social elements which might hold him back? These are all valuable questions to ask when, if you find in a few months, there isn't the desired result.

Until you're willing to accept failure (or half-assed success, heh,) as part of the learning process in casting spells for yourself (and you will "fall down," and you must get up and try again, just like when you were learning to walk,) you will never become competent at spellcasting. The easily discouraged do not win any awards in life, and people forget that someone who is an expert at something has failed to do whatever they are doing now a number of times before they got to where they COULD DO that thing. This is no different. If you cast spell and see SOME impact, congratulate yourself for doing SOMETHING. Try again.

So there you go. That's my rant on failure. ;)

Best,

~Cat

+Still adding my 2014 posts. Sorry. December was a busy month and yet low-paying and discouraging. I have no excuse for myself other than working 14 hours a day every day for less than a dollar (gross not net) an hour makes me really not want to add 2 extra hours in unpaid. I need compensation for work that I do to stay motivated, just like most living things. :/

*I've never actually seen any suggest painting in the blood of a mythological animal, to be fair - this is merely me being sort of sarcastic. Sex and eating regulations are sometimes suggested in varying grimoiric texts, however.

**This is why I tell you not to buy that cheap, shitty, machine made crap that pretends to be traditional formulas. Mineral oil and/or baby powder are not substitutes for real ingredients.

***If I can be wholly honest here, I don't actually limit success or failure to those following 11 categories, but, because a broad view is usually the best for the sake of teaching, it's pretty helpful, and includes the more popular reasons.

COPYRIGHT ORIGINALNINJACAT, NO COPYING, PASTING, SHARING, USING, OR PLAGIARIZING. If you want to use my work in any way, get express written-permission.

10 Things You Should Really Stop Doing (or you should at least consider not doing when dealing with occultists.)

Hello Occulties:

Soooo, I have a few articles on their way out, one is going to be a book review, there is a money spell en route..so, get excited for the 14 days of posts (which may technically be 14+ posts not on 14 different days...sorry about that - work really hella sucks in December.)

The following are things just so many people who write me need to stop doing:

1. Calling every practitioner of magic a "witch" and/or assuming "witch" isn't an offensive word to several people.

There are a lot of words today that don't mean what they once did. For example, if I say your party was a festive and gay event, I would no longer mean that it was decorative and cheery as much as I would PROBABLY be saying that it was both festive and also chock full of homosexuals. Gay no longer means what gay meant for centuries - now it almost exclusively is applied to people who sexually and romantically appreciate people of the same biological sex.

Or, if you see two people of color calling each other a bad n-word (it rhymes with bigger), you might not be as offended as you'd be if Princess Ginger McWhitey (that's me in this context, spat out the same word. Sometimes certain types of insulting words can be used by people if they use it ironically, like you calling me Ginger McWhitey the soulless ginger is far more hilarious if you're also a ginger.

Witch is sort of like both of the above. For example, it really DOES NOT mean what it once meant as "wise one" to most people. AND if you're a practitioner of magic, calling someone else who practices magic a "witch" in an ironic and humorous sense (assuming you're friends,) can be completely fine, whereas if some stranger calls you a witch, it's a bit offensive, really. I realize some Wiccans want to reclaim the word and refer to each other as so, but I don't call Muslims and Christians "Jewish" because they are all Abrahamic religions, and that would actually be more apt than calling all practitioners of spells "Witch."

Witch has grown to mean a lot of ugly things in the modern world. You're free to reclaim it for yourself if it makes you feel exciting and sexy or something. As for me, if you call me a witch, I think you were too afraid to call me bitch, or you are just really really bigoted against my spiritual beliefs (and ignorant, to boot,) and/or you think I'm a Satan-worshipping baby-killer. :/ Or maybe it means you think I'm a Wiccan? I know a lot of Wiccans who don't like the term witch, and a lot of neo-pagans who don't like that term either, but I'm neither Neo-Pagan nor Wiccan (many practitioners aren't,) so this is an inappropriate term to use even if not being used in the offensive manner.

2. Putting a "k" at the end of the word "magic."

NO ONE put the k on "magic" to separate it from card tricks and illusions. A man named Aleister Crowley put a k on his brand of magic to separate what he did from work of the Golden Dawn. In fact, Crowley had magic and magick - and they were 2 types of magic which he separated by varying points.

Magic is an anthropological term - you'll find it in totally real anthropology books and everything, and spelled right. You can spell it right. That k has been going out of style since the 1990's...it's not going to come back all retro just because Llewellyn publishers still uses it...and were the ones who widely promoted the lie that the k is to let all the people we pretend are too stupid to know the difference between magic and illusions are on to which one we're discussing. If those people are so ignorant, you're going to have to explain the k, too. Sooooo, let's just start spelling like we all graduated first grade, OK? The leisure suit isn't coming back, and that k isn't coming back in style either. If you're younger than 35 and still pinning it on something, it's ridiculous. If you're over 35? Well, I guess old bad habits die hard. ;)

3. Telling your practitioner (and/or yourself) that you're "not obsessed."

Please. I'm obsessed with normal things all of the time. :P 2 months ago, I got obsessed with the color blue, and now I have like 5 blue outfits...or is it 7. I just wanted everything to be colored blue. Before that it was orange, then purple, and I've always been into red...so, I mean, we're all "into" something and it can (and often does,) border on obsession. There's a reason that I can tell you so much about the French Bourbon dynasty...it's because I got obsessed with it and read everything I could to the point that I would have needed to learn French to learn more.

How often, every day, do you think about pigs wearing human outfits? I mean literally a hog dressed in a suit and tie. Not how many times did you think about it yesterday? Was it zero times? OK. How many times did you think about anything relating to the situation you're spellcasting on yesterday? Now, how many times did you think about your car when you weren't driving it? How many times did you think about cleaning the floor? How many times did you think about the first Indiana Jones movie (Raiders of the Lost Ark)?

See where I'm going here? All sorts of things you NEED to think about you probably think on less than you think about your situation you're spellcasting on. So, SHUT THE FUCK UP (AND/OR STOP TYPING) ABOUT NOT BEING OBSESSED. Why? You're obsessed.

Every time someone lies to me about being obsessed, I hurl them to the back of the line for being delusional (and because I only have so much patience with which to deal with the delusional,) about their own situation.

So, for what it's worth, I get it. You ARE obsessed, but is it to an unhealthy degree? If you're lying to yourself about being obsessed, it probably is. If you justify your obsession to yourself, you're definitely past a point where it's healthy (for example: I'm only obsessing because I have only 25 years more left to live - or I assume that's the minimum, - and it's NOT ENOUGH TIME!!!!!) If, however, the idea crosses your mind in passing a few times a day? That might not even click on the obsession scale. Do you think more on what you're going to make yourself for dinner than you do on your spellwork? Then you're probably doing just fine, nothing to worry about. ;)

4. Attempting to micromanage any situation via spellwork.

This is a fictuituous recreation of something I see in my inbox daily:

"Hey Cat, this Zebadiah. So, I was just wondering, you know, Hermoine and I have totally been getting along OK and all, but like, last night she totes didn't want to cuddle and she was like 'Oh Zeb, I have a headache,' and I totally think it's because like, she sort of hangs with this girl, Euphingea, (Effy for short,) and like, Effy doesn't like me much. Effy is still freaked out I think because she saw me and Hermoine like totally not getting along at Jimbo's Halloween party, and she always tells my girl that she doesn't need to put up with a guy who might have like 6 beers in 3 hours. While Effy really hasn't said anything I KNOW OF to my girl since like the Halloween party, I just don't want to take any chances. I mean, maybe it's Hermoine's job that's stressing her out, and I think it's like a week before her periods, so she, like, gets emotional sometimes and doesn't want to cuddle, but seriously, let's get to work on Effy. While we're at it, let's totes make Hermoine less stressed about her job, and..."

Wow. Do you think Zeb chooses his girlfriend's outfits out every morning, tells her what make up to wear, what she can find funny, what foods she likes... I mean...fawwwwwwwk!

Zeb, LET GO, brother!

I understand wanting to make sure your spell has worked and that it has some supportive work going if you're unsure if the result is tenuous. HOWEVER, controlling every element of the problem isn't going to actually help - it makes manifestation and continued positive results more difficult to achieve.

Not only are you being obsessively controlling (obsession is bad, m'kay?) you're also constantly pulling the situation back psychically to interfere with it. Visually speaking, this is a person who lets a bowling ball roll down the lane, then runs beside it gently tapping it to keep it centered...thing is, by the time it reaches the pins (manifestation) it's been slowed too much by the person who won't stop interfering. :/

Let's go back to our example. Perhaps "Effy" isn't really against Zeb. Maybe she had something negative to say that once, but know she's encouraging her friend. If he works to remove Effy from his girlfriend's life, he's doing himself a disservice. Remember - the spells are cast to create a desired end - constantly interfering to micromanage how this comes about is NOT often going to speed results or make things easier to manifest. At some point you WILL need to let the spell go and do it's work.

5. Defending stupid/self-defeating decisions/behaviors to yourself.

The other day (and this will seem off-hand, but allow me to go on,) I was unfortunately on that really shitty site that pretends to be worthy of a news-source, aka The Huffington Post (my IQ drops several points every time I read an article on there, but I recover in a few hours/days,) and I saw a woman saying "Take pictures of yourself now, instead of saying you're too fat to be in pictures, because that mythical time you'll be thin again will probably never come."

What? So, you're not advocating anyone try to lose weight, you're assuring them, "Hey, stay fat, because I know you won't ever work to lose weight or look good again, and accept that you hate how you look and what it does to your self-esteem." And yeah, unfortunately that was the context of the article.

For 95% of overweight people, losing weight is not impossible nor is it some unicorn you'll never catch. It does require exercise and diet which isn't fun, but it is possible. The author showed a picture of herself. If she ate right and exercised for a year, she'd probably have a model's figure - she was "big" but not absurdly so. Unfortunately taking 30 minutes to sweat at least five days a week and not eating as many cookies as she does right now was apparently a HUGE PROBLEM for her. Now, let's ask ourselves....if the same woman was told she needs to watch a 30 minute program (sitting on her butt,) five nights a week, plus she has to eat an extra meal five times a week and that THIS would help her lose, let's say, thirty pounds, do you think that would have been too hard for her to handle? Would that have been a mythical time in her life because it was too hard for her to schedule? Nope. But the opposite? NO, she can't do that! It's a mythical unicorn outcome! Thirty minutes DOING SOMETHING!? That's totally too much to ask - even if she can make that time for the TV, she can't make that time for anything else! NOT eating too much! TOO MUCH TO ASK! She CAN eat too much, but eating less is not OK.

So, while I embrace the idea that we should be with the ones we love (in photos/not in photos) regardless of temporary physical appearance (hey, maybe you ingested too much holiday cheer, maybe you couldn't miss the Worldwide Bratwurst Eat-off, or maybe you just got a bad haircut) and that we should enjoy life to the fullest even when we're insecure about what we look like, I also embrace the idea that if you don't like something about yourself and you can CHANGE IT, then you should CHANGE IT.

How is it any different when you defend a stupid action with "I panicked, so it's OK," or "I have a broken heart, so it's OK," or "I like to drink until I say really shitty things to people, but it was just the alcohol talking, so it's OK," or "I was just really on the edge about work, so screaming 'fuck you, you piece of shit,' at my reconciliation target for a half an hour was totes OK." No. No, none of it is OK. Do not defend your bad behaviors, your laziness, your refusal to change things you can change - maybe the action is in the past, but your ability to change the future STILL EXISTS and it starts with you changing the bad actions and behaviors that brought you to where you are now. There is no defense for what you're doing, you're merely justifying those behaviors/actions to yourself in an attempt to encourage yourself to stay where you are - a place you claim makes you unhappy - rather than to work at getting what you want. Stop that. If you can change something about you that you don't like - if you can change something about your life that you don't like, - start TODAY and RIGHT NOW about changing it. I wrote this nifty article on the value of choices...start there.

Disengaging from stupid decisions and behaviors IS RARELY EASY, and can be an addiction to stay in the cycle we feel trapped within. You WILL have to make a step to change your behavior or to stop that little self-defeating voice that says "accept that we can't change this" but you can do it. Maybe you don't want to exert the effort, but if you want change, you are required to make an effort...which is something that scares a lot of people. It's why we convince ourselves to stay where we are (it's comfortable,) rather than break away from that to change our lives for the better.

Changing your life with spells doesn't mean it's effortless - you still need to use effort. You still need to check your own behaviors and what caused you to get to the place you are now that you don't like. The longer you defend self-destructive/self-defeating/stupid actions/decisions/behaviors, the longer you will persist in a place you do not want to be.

6. Worrying/scaring yourself/etc.

Since I have discussed this way too often, I won't bother going over it AGAIN.

7. Mixing paradigms like a neophyte.

Ever seen this? "Hi, My name is Bunny Starfucker, and I'm a Gypsy Voodoo Wiccan Starchild Hermetic Gnostic Pagan priestess of Greek Santeria!" or similar.

OK, so that doesn't exist but I'm sure you have seen someone saying shit like that. You want to know what I, your dear friend Cat, is?

Hi, I'm Cat. I'm trained in Hoodoo, which I consider my area of expertise in the occult world, specifically more with a NorthEastern flavor, which some people have told me is similar to Pow-wow, but I've definitely learned from SouthEastern, Southwestern, South American, and European Catholic sources. My secondary study is Hermetics with a focus on conjure.

I also have education in varying magical platforms (from minimal to extensive, depending on the paradigm,) but do not profess to be a priestess of 10 traditions, because that would be utter fucking bullshit.

Sooooo, if you're a "Hoodoo Wiccan Gypsy Fairy Dragon Goetia Scarlet Maiden of Santeria" you're probably a whole lot of nothing. ;) It's sort of like taking every single bit of food in a refrigerator and just mushing it together and assuming it will fuse into a super food instead of a disgusting, inedible bunch of shit.

I'm not saying that traditions can't find fusion, because they can, but it takes a MASTER or an ADEPT to do this fusion...some dabbling assclown who calls burning candles "tons of experience" (setting lights is namby-pamby beginner stuff, guys and gals,) someone who has to constantly refer to books as a reference because they haven't reached the point where they can work on their own INTERNAL SET OF KNOWLEDGE (that's going to take years, and it's an earned thing,) is not going to be the person doing any intelligent fusing. People who toss Erzulie and Oshun into the same pot are not actually doing anything brilliant...you can't just mix and match cuz you "felt like it." There is a logic, and there is working intelligently, and until you get to the ADEPT STAGE you should not be tossing around all sorts of cultures and paradigms because you'll probably just hurt yourself (or accomplish jack shit.) It's sort of like me building a house out of Play-doh AND cement because Play-doh is kind of like cement, right? Derp.

8. Harassing or being rude to disincarnate beings.

I will never really understand why people (generally drunk people, which lends at least a bit of insight) find it so entertaining and wise to harass the dead, or -even worse- the NEVER INCARNATE (that means this being was never human or in a physical body,) but then are SO SHOCKED when something starts fucking with them right back.

"But Cat!" you say, "So I drank a whole liter of scotch, and peed on a grave and then danced in my pee, and called the dead person beneath me a bunch of really bad things like a goat-fucking crack-whore who liked to bathe in the blood of dead chipmunks, and then challenged that dead person to make themselves known since they were obviously a big pile of shit. I mean, it's not like they did anything when I was there! I just wanted a reaction. And sure, weird fires have started breaking out in my home, some scratching noises in the wall, and my kid has a bite mark on their ass from no known source. It can't be my bad behavior causing that!"

O, rly. *rolls eyes*

See, I think you deserve everything you get if you disrespect the disincarnate like that.

More realistically, it goes something like this: "So me and a bunch of friends were trying to contact (named spirit/not named spirit) and nothing was happening, right? So my other friend was like 'I don't even think this is real. Nothing is happening. It's bullshit that this/these (spirit/s) can even do anything anyhow.' So we all went home and now weird shit is happening at so and so's house, and..."

Yeah, again, why are you trying to contact this or any spirit? Please tell me you have a reason for this other than you're bored. If you do have a real reason to contact the dead or never incarnate, you might EDUCATE YOURSELF on how this is done...suchas The Art of Calling Spirits into Crystals, and so forth...not just fucking with the disincarnate because you're bored.

If you mess around and act churlish to those lacking a body out of boredom you are no better than someone who goes to, say, a maternity ward or a coma ward or an old person's home, and starts harassing the patients, then cries when something bad happens. These beings can ignore you (just like maybe a coma patient isn't responding,) or they might just decide you're awful, and come after you (imagine someone waking up from a coma to beat the shit out of you and make a hat out of your ass-cheeks for waking them up.)

9. Reusing name papers.

The vast majority of the time, you're supposed to actually deploy these someplace. I'm sure there is some exception somewhere to some rule, but let's just say it's a small exception. If you're not deploying your name paper and reusing it, there's a 999 chance out of 1000 that you're doing it wrong. Stop asking me if it's OK to reuse them. Do you reuse toilet paper? Ugh, I shouldn't ask. I bet some of you do. :P

10. Attempting to get free psychic questions answered (for example "I just wanna know, is s/he coming back - tell me and I'll buy a reading!")

When anyone has been a professional reader for longer than 2 days in a row, they've heard every trick in the book. Stop trying to do this because all it means is you're a cheap, freebie abusing asshole and a terrible person for even attempting to get a free reading question done.

I do hope this has been educational, my dearies. Back tomorrow with some goodies! :)

~Cat

All the above is copyright OriginalNinjaCat.com and cannot be used without my express written permission.

Mama Cat's Pearls of Wisdom #31: The Value of Choices

Hey Occulties,

I want you to know something...

Everything you have or don't have is because of you. Right now where you are is a result of the choices you made. Maybe something that happened today was the result of a choice you made YEARS ago, and maybe another thing that happened today was from a choice you made less than a minute ago, but wherever you are, it's because of your decisions and your choices. While I'll give you that accidents and health issues and birth deformities and birth locations happen - guess what? From the moment you exited the womb, you started making choices, and by the time you were a teenager, you had enough control to seriously say "this is now all on me - this isn't my parents, this isn't my teachers, this isn't my friends making decisions - it's me." Everything that has happened to you since is a product of YOUR CHOICES AND YOUR ACTIONS (or lack thereof).

Maybe you thought you were doing the right thing, and found out you were wrong. Hey, my life is just one giant string of "It sounded like a good idea at the time," so I hear you on that. Maybe you listened to some bad advice (I have,) maybe you fell in love with a shitty person (I have,) maybe you decided to drink too much and were unimaginably hurtful to the love of your life...but you made those choices to take that advice, to persist in your pairing with person, to drink too much...

So everything right now that is happening to you is because of you. Own it. Be responsible. It isn't going to feel great all of the time (because I don't know about you, but saying "I was wrong to trust so-and-so, but I did, and this is my fault," can really suck, and I've said it,) but it won't feel bad all of the time (because saying "Wow, I'm so glad that I learned how to change a tire on a lark, now we're not stranded on this dark highway, and I've saved the day," can really feel great.)

The moment you take responsibility for YOURSELF, and stop blaming others for where you are now is the moment you can begin to change those things in your life that you do not like.

Most of us want more money, a better job, financial security, someone who loves us, people who understand us, a comfortable home, etc, - and this is all fine for you to keep wanting this, or a better version of this, but you MUST keep working to get there, and you must keep making decisions and taking actions which may or may not positively impact your journey to getting and keeping all of these desirable things.

When you work out, you must keep working out to stay fit.

When you get a paycheck, you still have to go to work the next week to get another paycheck.

When you tell someone that they matter, you need to continue to show them that you feel that way.

All good things in life need to be nurtured and cared for - there is no "press a button once, and it falls into place" outcome.

So remember that when you begin your path to learning magic. There is no "one last spell that fixes everything permanently in my life." Even if it's just one spell you cast, you're still going to have to make decisions and take actions to keep that end result what you want it to be, because life is an endless river in which you are paddling and if you do not make wise choices, and good decisions, you might end up shit's creek without a paddle.

Best,

~Cat

All content on this site is copyright OriginalNinjaCat.com and cannot be used in any form whatsoever without my express written permission. I STRONGLY go after anyone who violates my copyright.

All Hail Saleos!

Hey there, Occulties,

Since I've definitely signed myself up for more work than I ever should have with 13 more posts (well, 12 after this,) all having to go up on or before December 31 (all while working 14 hour days, because I just am a glutton for punishment,) I had a few days to think on it, and I figured I'd like to have a chat with you all about someone I think is absolutely awesome. No, Rufus Opus, this is not the review of your book which is also forthcoming, but you're awesome, too*

As some of you might know, Saleos (sometimes referred to as Sallos, or Zallos) is one of the 72 spirits in the Ars Goetia. Maybe you've met him. Maybe you haven't. But I have something to say about him, and I will address it directly to him, as it really IS long overdue that I give this fellow a PUBLIC and glowing review:

My dearest Duke Saleos,

You are amazing. You've helped me, you've helped my clients, you love vodka, and wine, and engineer infatuation between men and women like the true master engineer of love that you are. You're everything I ever wanted in a spirit (I also love vodka and helping people fall in love with each other.) It has been an honor and continues to be an honor to work with you.

You have helped me grow as a magician, you have been patient, you have been kind... You even have a great sense of humor, which I was a bit surprised to discover. :)

If anyone (who was seriously interested in conjuring,) asked me who to work with for love, I'd recommend you. I'm pretty sure that goes without saying. You get the job done right - which isn't always "two days later" (and I respect that most highly,) because fast isn't always lasting...and what you create is more often than not, quite lasting. I look forward to further adventures with you.

YOU
ARE
MY
FAVORITE
GOE
TO
WORK
WITH!!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you Duke Saleos!

I cannot praise you enough, and will continue to do so. May we work together for many years to come.

Yours truly,

~Cat

*RO would be even more awesome if he published a book which was bound in the hide of unicorn nipples, inked in the blood of his enemies, and smoked with demon farts, but he still hasn't published a book like that, so he's only 99.9% awesome, and I told him this very thing yesterday. :P

****Added 10/10/15 - I am glad to talk about SALEOS (I didn't misspell his name) with people practiced with evocation if you would like to know my experiences. I welcome discussion with those who have successfully practiced evocation. :) If you're a dabbler, if you refer to him as Sallos (when he's listed as Saleos, Zaleos, and Caleos in the varying sources that I am familiar with - not to mention, I've spoken to Saleos himself,) or if you tell me he is your only hope and you really really really want your ex back/someone to love you, but you've never cast a spell, then I do not teach evocation, and I am not interested in the discussion. Ask me a stupid question, and you will get a contemptuous answer. I teach ROOTWORK not spirit conjure. Sorry to be such an asshole, but this post has been an ASSHOLE MAGNET and after almost a year of fucktardedly stupid questions, the answer is, YES, I LOVE SALEOS AND HE IS AMAZING, but NO, I do not think he's your only hope if you never cast a spell before, and frankly, successful evocation takes a long time to learn. I don't teach it, either. ****

Text is copyright me - no copying, copy and pasting, etc., images in this article from the free domain. If you dispute they are from the free domain and they are yours, please contact me and I will take them down.

Questions You've Asked Me: End of 2014 Edition

Hey occulties!

You knew this was coming. Perhaps you knew because I'm uncreative, and I tend to enjoy these types of posts, or perhaps you know it was coming because you reading right now personally asked me so many questions last week in an email (that I've not replied to,) that you KNEW I'd have to post all about it. ;)

Either way, let's get crackin'! The first one IS a repeat, but a useful repeat. ;)

Q: I can't stop thinking my work to death - I've tried everything! How do you stop yourself?

A: I don't always stop myself. ;) I'm big enough to admit it - I can totally think something down to nothing. Sometimes it's because I'm SO EXCITED to get something I want, and other times it's about money...which, it's like I've told some of you, if I have a big bill and I'm just SURE I won't be able to cover it, I get increasingly aggravated, and then my money spell won't manifest until after the bill is due...even though I KNOW I'm the one making that so, I can't seem to move myself around it. :P

HOWEVER, I do have a few tricks I use for avoiding lust for results/thinking the work to death...

1. I avoid my own triggers. For example if it's a personal relationship I'm doing spellwork on (not necessarily romantic in nature, but any personal relationship,) I will often stop listening to music, because I tend to think of my personal relationships when I listen to music. Some people find watching TV to be a trigger. Others feel long car rides are difficult (I suggest a book on tape - er or I should say on your device/cd player, lol, whatever is read aloud, - when driving as it will engage your mind.) Whatever your trigger/s is/are, look for a solution to avoid those triggers.

2. I keep my mind engaged in "thinking" tasks, and avoid "mindless" tasks as much as possible. For example, working for a client involves using my whole brain to focus on their problem. Sweeping my floor is a mindless task - I use hardly any brain...and if I were to engage in sweeping the house for a half hour, I could totally see my mind wandering to whatever I'm spellworking on (if I feel attracted to analyzing it.) Of course we can't totally avoid "mindless tasks" (as a pet owner, there would be pet-hair tumbleweeds in my house if I did not sweep at least daily,) but we CAN try to stay on top of those we need to do (like simple house cleaning) to avoid these tasks building into requiring a few hours at a time to accomplish them. ;)

3. I throw myself wholeheartedly at someone else's problems. You know who has problems? Everyone you know. Find someone who needs your help, and go out of your way to be helpful (without being creepy.) ;) If a friend is getting divorced or maybe another friend is uncertain about their job, I go out of my way to listen to their problems and try to help them solve said issue (in a non-magical fashion.)

4. I think it to death before I work on it. If I really believe if I don't get a chance to over-analyze the situation, that I'll keep coming back to it in my own mind, I'll spend the next 48-72 hours doing nothing but thinking about it. By the time I start my spellwork, I've so thoroughly exhausted the topic to myself in my own mind, I'm really not so eager to over think it.

5. I tell myself to "knock it off" when I find myself engaging in lust for results/thinking the work to death (and surprisingly "knock it off, Cat," actually works.

6. If I'm really married to the idea that I must, must, must, must think the problem/spell/situation to death, I will give myself 15 minutes every other night to think as much as I want about it.

7. I practice what I call "Stillness," which is basically quieting the mind. First I find a focal point, usually outside (looking out a window,) and then I tell myself nothing from the future can effect me at that moment, nothing from the past can effect me, and nothing presently will interrupt or disturb me, clearing my mind as I say these things. It brings a complete sense of peace. The longer I can stay in this state, the less wound up I am about anything whatsoever.

Q: I am worried about fire safety - can I use battery-operated lights in my spellcasting?

A: This was recently on a forum I was reading, and I don't agree that this is an effective method. If you want to use fake candles, they are certainly nice for mood-lighting, but they are not representative of fire, nor do they function in the same manner a candle does -at least how I work.

Before anyone groans and said "So-and-so says it's OK!" I assure you that I tried this out this summer with an LED fake candle. It did not show any impact. The argument I hear for this is that it's "the light" which is the gift, but in the traditions I work in, that's not entirely accurate. If you want to leave a little blinky light out as an offering and it works for you, go ahead and try.

HOWEVER, your best bet for fire safety (and not pissing off entities/ancestors/beings/the Universe who want fire, and not a low level LED glow,) is to stop worrying so much about FORM (that is, appearance) and worry more about function. Your best friend is sand. Go purchase several pounds of sand in burn your candles in a sheetcake tin or pie plate full of sand. Have a seven day, glass-encased candle? Put 2 inches of sand in a metal bucket, then place the name paper and then the candle into the bucket. Fill with sand until it reaches about the brim of the bucket. I've had these candles explode and continue to burn safely even after explosion, with no noticable heat coming off of them.

If you're more worried about something being pretty rather than it working well, I'm not the right person to learn from. ;) Also, those crappy LED fake candles are plastic and spending another 4 million years not decomposing whereas the candles you use are not going to create their own landfill. If you're earth friendly at all, you want to avoid using LED candles as an "offering" or in place of a candle.

Q: Why are so many practitioners/blog-writers/writers/occultists such a bag of dicks when I ask them questions? (Implied: These people should be so grateful for anyone's attention as to be ready to answer 5 hours worth of questions, not limited to going over the most elementary facets of spellcasting, merely for being asked to.)

A: Believe it or not, 99% (MAYBE 98%) of all people on this planet, including magic dabblers, are incredibly ignorant when it comes to the occult to such a level that it would be like me asking you over and over and over again why food rots when left out of a refrigerator and/or without being sealed, and then being dumbfounded by mold and maggots and bugs and etc, as if decay, and flora and fauna that loves old food never existed. Or...perhaps even like me being horrified that ice can melt when put into a drink...just literally shrieking as it disappears in my drink, and asking you HOW CAN THIS BE?!

And see, we, the authors and experts of the occult, know this is so. This means if you ask me a "simple question," then...well, it's not. Imagine, right now, that a two-year old asks you, "Can you explain to me the meaning of romantic love, and why it isn't always returned?" And then explain that to a child of those years in terms that they clearly understand - be sure to be deep, cover all psychological, spiritual, emotional, behavioral, and biological reasons in most currently held cultures. Or, perhaps something you're more familiar with - ever been to the doctor or the dentist, and they start speaking doctor or dentist to each other, and you're not really sure what they are saying? That's how occultists speak to each other.

And the truth is, I have cohorts even I don't bother debating with when I have an opposing view. I have peers (who I love and adore who are amazing and intelligent) who I avoid debate with not out of ANY LACK OF EXPERIENCE, but because they will come back with references, ten Google links, a college thesis paper they wrote, words from a long-dead guru, a note from their doctor, fifteen passages in ancient Hebrew, twelve in Coptic, and 2 books that are so rare, only three copies exist, and they are one of the people who helped translate that text in a museum. They do that to newbs, too...if they were patient enough to reply. ;) I'm happy with experience being the teacher, lol, so after I get a reading list (should I want to refute their opinion, I must first read this whole reading list,) I generally think "Hmm, I work 14 hours a day. This one book looks interesting but it will take me four months to read it, so I'll just go back to debating them in four months when I have." ;)

HOWEVER, the thing is, none of you get that it's not a quick answer. For it to be a quick answer, I should not have to tell you how to anoint a candle. I shouldn't have to tell you what colors correspond to Thursday or which planet rules Wednesday. I shouldn't have to tell you how to work around lunar correspondences, I shouldn't have to tell you why Return To Me is different than Reconciliation...this is all super basic shit. You should know what day, you should know what time is best. You shouldn't have to ask dumb questions like that unless you're such a neophyte that you don't know.

So, you're a neophyte...nothing wrong with that at all! We all were at one point. The difference is, the people you're talking to right now? The "modern experts?" We all were neophytes in a time where we had to put our own experience and study (of these inanimate objects called books, more often than not,) in, our own work - we didn't have anyone at your disposal to help us, really. We earned where we are. There were teachers, but they had to be sought out, and then, if we were lucky, if we'd earned it, they'd teach us. By the time we could ask others, we were far enough along that no one would even expect us to ask "What day do I start this? Like a Saturday or some shit?"

Now, go back to "Why are you all such a bag of dicks about questions?" Well, I don't think any of us would be that at all if you paid us for our time like we used to pay (and still pay) for our research materials, or if you tried to learn for yourself instead of trying to use us as free encyclopedias. Put in your work, pay others for theirs. You'll find people are a lot nicer. ;) The benefit you have IS that you can get stuff I NEVER could have gotten my hands on in my neophyte days. Don't abuse the help of others, and WE WILL HELP, and GLADLY SO. But come in with a list of 200 questions, expecting all the answers for free (or that we will write spells out for free,) and you might make someone act like a bag of dicks. :/

Aaron Leitch (who is actually a super nice guy) says it pretty well right here. ;)

Q: I'm confused - why is real spellcasting nothing like what I've seen in the movies/on television?

A: You're probably under the age of 15 (in which case, you might need parental permission to read my blog,) or suffering from impaired intelligence if you actually think most things on television or the movies are true-to-life. Lawyers laugh at lawyer shows (as a lawyer's kid, I also laugh at how inaccurate these are,) cops laugh at cop shows (wholly inaccurate again,) doctors laugh at doctor shows (stupidly inaccurate,) and occultists laugh at shows with magicians/witches/spells in them... It's not that I don't find entertainment with magic as part of the plot ENTERTAINING sometimes, but I know that it's entertainment. If you're familiar with Indiana Jones movies, that's about as accurate of a portrayal of archaeology (which it's hugely inaccurate of a portrayal of archaeology,) as movies and dramas and comedies and tv shows are accurate to the occult.

Some shows are a bit closer than others, but they are all part of a fantasy concocted for your entertainment...just like in most romance movies, the characters would be creepy and obsessed assclowns - not objects of desire; or "poor" people live in these luxury houses and apartments that most of us couldn't afford, etc., etc., etc. If you think Hollywood depicts real life very often, you're very young, and/or very naive, and/or not too bright. Even the "based on a true" story stuff is usually so far off from the true story that it's arguable that it's based on anything true. :/

Q: You give pretty good love advice - what's the best you got?

A: If you really ever loved that person and they loved you, they are almost guaranteed to come back at some point, regardless of spellwork. I've had people I never cast a spell on come back to me 5-10 years later. Obviously, death and disaster might prevent that, but the good ones come and go a few times, in my experience. I wish someone told me this when I was a younger woman, as it would have saved me staying up late torturing a few people til they came back (with spells! mwhahahahaha,) but I see now that the ones I just let go even came back. There is a beautiful passage in Corinthians, and it's very true: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." Also, the Beatles said it well with "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Basically, even though it seems like things are irrepairably lost to you, wait awhile. It might be a very long while. You might forget how much you cared. It often comes to you at some point anyhow, if you earned it, and if you loved it enough (again, barring death or disaster.) So...it's okay to let someone go. Maybe the time is wrong for you to be together right now. Don't fear you won't see them again. You often will, and they will love you and miss you when you do.

People have come back to me and said surprisingly loving and beautiful things to me when I'd written them out of my life. They've proven to me that love is a pretty unshakable bond.

Or maybe that's just a load of sugary horseshit for everyone but me. Can't say. If that sounds like a load of platitudes, then the second best advice is "For fuck's sake, stop calling your ex, stop texting them, and fucking calm down. Desperation is the world's worst cologne and your actions and behavior stink of it. Until you stop reeking of desperation, don't expect anyone to come back - just expect everyone to be repelled." :)

Alrighty, kiddos - that's it for this edition of QUESTIONS YOU'VE ASKED ME. New article shortly (seeing as I have 16 days to finish 13 more articles, I definitely can't wait too long.) ;)

~Cat