Something More People Need To Understand

Hi Occulties,

This post may initially be borne of frustration, but I hope it's helpful. It's stuff I wish more people think of or realize when dealing with myself and I assume this can be extended to other practitioners.

When I began writing this article I asked myself, what seems to be the biggest issues in my business is that people often forget...

YOUR PRACTITIONER IS A PROFESSIONAL, like a lawyer, a doctor, a plumber, an appliance repair person, an electrician, a hair dresser are all professional workers.

What does that mean? It means that your spellcaster/psychic's job is to provide psychic and/or spellcasting services for a price. They provide consultations for a price (or sometimes free with the implication there is a likelihood of a purchase to be made.) They do this because these are the duties of their job. It does not mean that they are a free cheerleader, that they work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, that they can drop everything they are doing to chat, or that they have an unlimited amount of time and energy to deal with every single thought that crosses your mind. They are not there to pick up your dog at the groomer, help you with a recipe for chicken soup, have a beer with you, or etc. As a professional spellcaster they are not going to fix your electricity or do your hair for you because you asked.

I am sure some of you still might not get it...

Well, it might surprise some of you to know I get along famously with professionals who perform certain services for me on a regular or semi regular basis. While I'd say I have an awesome relationship with my doctor for example (she and I crack each other up pretty much the whole time I'm in her office being treated,) I'd not say she's my friend. I quite like her, I'm sure in our outside of work job lives we could be friends, but she's my doctor, I'm her patient, and if I require her services I pay her well for them. I do not casually call her and go "Hey, Christine, I have a bit of a rash on my elbow, but I think it's because I was in contact with wool which you know the lanolin gets to me sometimes. If I come over with some beer and talk about what I don't like about my health for a few hours with you, will you check that out? Because I'd really like it. Hey, also I need you to look at a pill I found...think it's an amoxicillin I forgot to take, because..." You know, if I did that to my doctor, she'd hate my guts really fast. She certainly would not crack up when she saw me all the time.

Or lets take this to another professional who I see unfortunately too often due to the ineptitude of his predecessor, my present dentist. This fellow lived down the road from my family for some time so I have quasi-known him for years (though not well before he started fixing the egregious mistakes of his predecessor's bad dentistry,) from what I get we're of a similar disposition personality wise, we have a similar sense of humor. Again, I could see him and I being friends outside of a professional setting if such an opportunity arose. I cannot for the life of me imagine calling him up and going "Hey Darren, I know the office closed like 3 hours ago, but I just chipped a tooth, so can we set up fixing that immediately? I can't wait til your business opens. No, no it doesn't hurt whatsover, mostly cosmetic, but I'd rather not wait til Monday to call in even though it should be in the same condition then. If you're not willing to fix this right now, I'm sure you can analyze without seeing it how long it will take you to fix it, tell me when you have time, and also let me know the names of three dentists I could also see, and also tell me who distributes your dental supplies, and I also want to know which dental school you went to, who you learned under, and you have to do a filling free of charge while I'm there because I want you to prove you're for real." Once again, I don't think my dentist would like me much if I acted like that. Heck, he'd probably tell me to find a new dentist.

My point here is that at least 75% of the people contacting me are doing exactly what is being done in the 2 examples above...and the above is the result of someone forgetting that a friendly professional is still a professional. Or that it's both rude and absurd to make certain requests of someone.

"How do I know what's too much to ask of someone?" you inquire. If it falls outside of PAID services of casting a spell or reading, if you're demanding someone work outside of hours posted, if you're demanding an immediate repsonse, if you're demanding a service FOR FREE, if you're asking excessive levels of unpaid questions, etc, you're probably acting too much like the above examples.

To avoid this:
*Be courteous. Avoid being rude and demanding. Do not demand, but make requests. Most people are glad to take a bit of extra time with someone who is not demanding or who avoids becoming petulant when they are not immediately spoken with.

*Ask ALL questions prior to the spellcasting service. Read the Frequently Asked Questions Section before you ask a question.

*Remember you need to schedule an appointment with a professional, not just presume their schedule can be moved to fit your own.

*If your spellcaster or psychic is running their own business, show the courtesy of WAITING FOR A RESPONSE. I know I am not alone in this. It's SO RUDE to keep spamming someone for an email. If you called your ex 50 times a day til he or she changed his number, you should have learned how well the "annoy you into talking to me" method works. ;) Many of us don't have secretaries, or even anyone to help with email and other business concern, and it may take a few DAYS to get back to you.

*DO NOT assume it's "no big deal" to ask for free work. While you might get (using a dentist example above) that it's rude to think someone would repair a broken tooth off hours, it's just as rude to ask for free psychic reading questions when your reader is not on the clock. People repeatedly try to sneak these in. None of you are as slick as you think you are either. ;) It is asking for free services and incredibly rude. It is also rude to assume anyone wants to work for a few hours for you for absolutely no compensation. If you're asking enough questions that your worker will need hours to respond in writing, you should probably offer to pay this person for their time.

*Don't tell someone to prove themselves via free services. It's one thing to ask how long they have been practicing or offering services, wholly another to demand free work so they can "prove themselves" which applied to basically any other service would get you laughed out of that person's office for merely requesting such a thing.

GET THE HELL OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
I can't say this or explain this enough. I won't even bother everyone else here with repeating what this is.

On top of the above (see the linked text) you also need to keep in mind to STOP acting out unhelpful behaviors. For example if someone you acted towards your "beloved" as you do towards me, I'd leave you in a heartbeat. :/ Being overly worrisome for example is a HIGHLY UNATTRACTIVE trait just in a friend...and if you think your attitude only comes through to me, you're mistaken.

DOES HE/SHE LOVE ME IS AN INCREDIBLY ANNOYING AND OFTEN-MOSTLY-POINTLESS QUESTION, so could you stop asking it over and over? It might not even have anything to do with whether or not that person will come back. In fact, I love a few of my exs and have no intention of lowering myself to ever speaking to them again. ;) I suppose it's valid to ask once, but asking it over and over often has less to do with what you're really curious about like if that person is coming back, if there is something you did or said that you can fix, etc. I get everyone wants the reassurance of "I love you" even if given through a third party such as myself, but hearing it once should suffice.

IF YOU CAN'T EVEN MANAGE TO GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING YOU NEED A PSYCHIATRIST NOT A SPELLCASTER OR PSYCHIC. I realize when you're very emotionally distraught, your worst side can come out. We all have a bad day or a bad moment. However, if your every waking moment is full of worrying, self doubt, crippling fear or etc, YOU need to "man up" and see someone who is a professional who deals with emotional problems to get some help, especially if your condition isn't improving in a few weeks. A spellcaster or psychic is likely not also a certified therapist (although it isn't as rare as you think, as I know more than one person who does both,) so you need to see the proper professional to deal with your issues and not depend on the person who casts spells and does readings for a living.

EVERY TIME YOU JUST WANT YOUR SPELLCASTER OR PSYCHIC'S OPINION ON A TRIVAL POINT YOU ARE TAKING UP (usually unpaid) TIME. What's trivial? "Cat, so and so texted me today, and they said "Hi how are you?" but I didn't feel that was very lovey - what do you think? Also I saw so and so in the store and I think s/he was looking at me but I am not sure. What do you think that means? What is your opinion on if I wear a cleavage shirt or do you think I should be more modest at my business meeting? Why do you think the modest shirt? What is your opinion on this dream I have and why do you feel that way?" Honestly, if it's not a "Super huge deal" or if it's a lot of questions, I think you should pay for my (or your reader's) time to ask those questions. Just because you're bored and curious doesn't mean I (or your reader/worker) have unlimited time to answer everything that crosses your mind. Within reason, a few of these are not a huge deal, but often the people who ask them, ask several of them, and frequently. My opinion is asked over things like should you get a blue or red car when you're paying me to help you with your new bakery business...and the car is a personal not business vehicle. :/ I think I went over this in the above on my first point, but I can't drive it home enough.

Anyhoo, sorry for the lecture. I hope this reminder post give me time to do less "Hey Cat, I thought of my ex boyfriend wearing a birthday hat at my cousins 12 birthday party, is that a sign?" question answering and more writing for all of you. ;)

I apologize if I unintentionally offended anyone but the above needed saying.

~Cat

Comments

Well said, Cat! :)

Posted by: Zoe | April 13, 2012 at 11:27 AM

Hey Cat, if you've already written an article about "How to get the best out of your spell caster" a link at the end of this article might be a good place for some folks to start. :)

(I done googled and came up empty.)

Karma Zain's got an FAQ type post up now too, so maybe there's something in the air. I know folks have been acting extra specially last nerve trying around my way these days too.

Anyway, hope you have a great week.

Posted by: bosco | April 17, 2012 at 02:11 PM