Hey everyone,
I hope you all had a lovely weekend, (and Monday, if that's even possible, haha), but even if you didn't, here I am with another installment of QUESTIONS YOU'VE ASKED ME, everyone's favorite type of article. I apologize if any of these are repetitive - I get a lot of similar questions, and I've been writing this blog for 16 years now, so it happens. ;)
Q: What is the best way to deal with an ex that you did reconciliation magic on, who came back - only for you to realize, you don't want them back, and you made a mistake? My ex won't stop bothering me now - HELP!
A: Honestly, what you should do is just tell this person while you were initially curious if it could work out, you're not interested in dating them again (or continuing to date them again, depending on the situation,) as you are now sure it could never work out. Being direct, and making it more "your fault" (example "I do not feel this will work, I am not interesting in pursuing a romantic relationship further," not "You're impossible to date, and I forgot what a jackass you are,") and not taking personal jabs at them is going to make most people just quit trying to be with you.
But let's say you've tried that (and if you haven't, try that first,) and this person just won't leave you be. What do you do then? Well, you can wait it out. Most people get sick of being rejected shortly, and just letting their desires for you dry up on their own is cheaper and requires little energy, or you could do work to make them lose interest, work to make them get outta your life (for example, you see them frequently as your paths cross,) work to totally obliterate those loving feelings in them for you (remember that this is permanent, though, and sometimes that isn't exactly what people want,) work to make them fall for another, - there are a myriad of solutions. I know someone will want to know what I personally would do, and I would say 9 times out of 10, I'll just let them get sick of chasing me around and being rejected - and I will be certain to flatly reject them outright, because like I'm always telling you all, clear communication is the key to most personal relationships (romantic or otherwise.)
I also get people complaining that an undesired ex is "social media stalking" them, although this person is not actively engaging them in any conversation, or trying to keep up a strong friendship. While this would bother me not one bit (really,) it drives other people bananas. Look, you're not obligated to remain social media friends with someone after dating. If it really creeps you out, remove them. If you really can't deal with an ex, you can even block them after so doing. I don't generally condone this (I enjoy being friends with the vast majority of my exes, and it's also proven to be beneficial that I stayed friends with them in more than one case,) but if someone is really making you creeped out, you would not be alone in unfriending/unblocking after a break. Some people have that as their standard.
Q: I have no real talents I can think of, and I have very little (to no) real education - can I benefit from success or money magic?
A: I suspect everyone has some talent, and even those that have very little have something they could do to make money (albeit it may be an undesirable job,) so I think technically, yes, everyone could make more money and more opportunities could arise for you, it just might not be opportunities that you personally want.
That said, I also think most of us (the vast majority,) have some talent that we could put to good use. Perhaps what is really needed here is a brainstorming session AND a bit more self-confidence....although I realize I sound like a Hallmark Card saying as much. ;) Maybe you're not made to be a surgeon or a ballet dancer (I certainly lack the grace and dexterity for both, in my personal opinion,) but you can still make a good living doing something that you have skill in. People skills and organizational skills are actually really valuable assets in business. If you have one or both of those traits, you can use them to your benefit. If you are good at fixing things or repairing things, this is also a valuable skill, and there are a lot of people who ARE NOT good at those things who would hire you for your skill. So what if you can't sing or you don't have the looks to be a model, and so what if you don't have a PhD - you can still be good at something, excel at it and make money doing it. :)
The protocol here for you if you feel like you have no talent, and you don't have an education is to think VERY REALISTICALLY about what you can do (so no "I'd be great as president of a foreign country that most people have never heard of!") and try to suss out an idea of how you can apply your skill set to a job - and trust me, you probably have a lot more skills and opportunities than you realize. Now, once you've done that and you have an idea of what you can do and would like to do, THEN do the success magic.
Q: How can I make an emotionally-remote person open up?
A: While I can't say this for certain - some people are naturally just more-reserved, - many people are emotionally-remote as a self-defense mechanism. So, while you could "open them up," and make them more emotionally-demonstrative, you might also open-up an emotional jar of cockroaches you never did want to open up. :/ If someone is reticent about their past, I understand a curiosity as to why this is, and possibly it is something that you should know, but in saying as much, it might also be something pretty deep that this person is uncomfortable sharing, and for good reason. I have heard before instances of someone telling their partner of a few short weeks that they were molested as a child, for example, only for the partner to bring it up without thought around others, or even make jokes about it. Ugh! So, this person may have told others of their experiences before, and had such action blow up in their face. It makes sense that, since so doing, they kept whatever made them "emotionally-remote" to begin with close to their heart.
Perhaps this person also had a long experience of people abandoning them, or not being emotionally-available to them in their youth. I mean, again, it's often a self-defense mechanism. This isn't something that will go away easily. You might suggest that they see a counselor if you feel it is impeding their well-being. You could do healing spellwork on them to help with this, and they may become a little less stoic if you do.
Because, lovies, here is the thing, - you can really really really really bring out something that someone can't handle (or you can't handle) if you just do work to make them open up to you emotionally (so be careful if someone is a bit stony and unemotional when doing that kind of work,) to the degree that I have seen people have to spend time in psych wards because someone who just wanted their boyfriend (usually, less-often their girlfriend) to unvault all of their secrets and tell them all and be so open with them and used spellwork to make it so.
It could also be that this person is not READY to be open and show their sensitive side because they just haven't gotten to the point that they feel that close to you. In these cases, try using love drawing magic and communication magic together to help speed this process. Again, you might be opening a jar of cockroaches you never wanted open, but that's on you. ;)
Lastly, keep in mind, some people are just wired to be this way. :/ Using work to make them more expressive and to tell you more of their secrets will not make you feel any closer, because nature made them an emotionally-remote douche. I've come across a few of these in my lifetime (both dealing with clients and in my personal life,) where there is absolutely no reason they "Shut down" and never came back...they were always shut down.
Q: I lent a friend money, I helped him out in many ways, and now he's being rude and abrupt with me and trying to end our relationship because he owes me so much - what spells can help me here?
A: Ah, I know this type too well. :P OK, the "normal" way I get people to pay back money-owed is through intranquility-style work (yeah, that's right, kids, it's not just for bringing back your ex,) but the type you have described to me is a poor candidate for that to be effective in many cases. You have a few options, but I guess my personal gold-standard would be to curse the person terribly until they repent and give me all money-owed (no one of this ilk is like to repay your favors which are not financial,) which might just mean they are horribly cursed, and let's be fair - that's pretty deserved from the sound of it. If someone borrows a ton of money, and then, ASSUMING YOU ASKED FOR IT BACK NICELY, they tell you fuck you and you're a bad person, then they are not a good person. If I lent you money, and asked for it back (I would not be rude,) I would expect you to just nicely tell me that you don't have it, and could I wait awhile longer, assuming again, that is the reason you won't pay. Heck, even if someone can pay you back and just doesn't want to (it happens), a little politeness goes a long way. To be fair, if I lent you, say, $500 (not a huge or small amount there,) and you said you'd pay me back in a month, then when that time comes, you just say "Cat, I don't have it," even if you gave me $50, that's in good faith that you can pay me back, and I'd still appreciate it a lot. I know people who would get mad and tell the friend that they loaned money to that this is unacceptable (and I get it, kids, I really do - I've totally been screwed over by someone who SWORE they were paying me back in full in a few days,) but remember, that defensiveness can actually be detrimental in getting your friend to repay you. Try remaining calm, and offering a payment plan if the money is dear. ALSO, remember my cardinal rule (which I've regretted the few times I've broken it,) of lending money - never lend anything you can't spare. :P
That said, there is always that douche canoe that just decides not paying you back EVER, and pretending that you're the bad guy (when you weren't even mean,) and ending your friendship is easier than paying you back. My first experience of this was in college where a friend of mine owed me TEN FREAKING DOLLARS (that's it!) and ended our friendship over that amount. I'd asked the day he got paid, very nicely, if he had my $10, and yep, he told me off. That was the inglorious end to a 4 year friendship. :P BUT, assuming the person who is being asked about had borrowed A LOT OF MONEY, then look, they never intend on paying you back if they are being rude and you've been nice about it, and if they are trying to end the relationship, then the sad thing here is, they have probably convinced themselves that you don't deserve to have the money anyhow. This means making them "Feel badly," isn't going to work in a lot of cases. The problem here is, a lot of people are just serial assholes. It's unfortunate but true. HOWEVER, if you use cursing to make everything blow up in their face until they pay you back, they are at least getting "paid" for not paying you back. I also think the energy of this kind of working actually motivates the person to do whatever you wanted them to (because subconsciously I think they pick up that they are being cursed until they do.)
For my more tender-hearted readers, you might also try suing this person civilly (I'm assuming it's a great deal of money) and using justice and court work to get the courts to award you (and mandate them) your money back. You can also try reconciling the friendship, but I would bet you a whole shiny new nickel that you're going to find they want you to forgive the debt to reconcile, ugh.
Of course, you can also use intranquility work to make them pay you back, just in my experience, this type isn't going to fold because they really don't experience guilt.
Q: I recently moved, and would like to make new friends, but most of what I can find is about hooking up, and I'm not looking for romance (or sex) - is there spellwork for this?
A: Yes, there is! :) I think if you look WAAAAAAY back in my archives, there are a few spells on the blog you can use, but I also find using sweet pea scent (so this isn't really a spell, but use it with intention and it sort of kind of is,) attracts people like flies - and no, not just for romance. ;) I'm also a HUGE FAN of Dara of Hoodooroots.com fame's "Magnetic Attraction" to attract friends (use it on an orange candle, and make the command to attract friends to you,) but failing that, even just plain old "attraction oil" will work. :) You can also work a honey jar (burning orange candles on top on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) and making yourself the target (so your name 7 times,) and crossing it with "Everyone is drawn to me, seeking my friendship," seven times. Also, if you use rose petals, swap them out for passionflower. I don't know why this is, but passion flower is actually better for friends than it is for passion.
It really is a common thing to be seeking, so don't feel badly if you want to attract new friends. People are social creatures, but not everyone is a social butterfly by nature.
Alright kiddos, that's enough for your old friend Cat today. If you need help (or want me to cast a spell for you, or do a reading for you,) you know where to find me!
~Cat
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