Hey Occulties,
DAMN, it's colder outside than my attitude is at a party full of people I hate, and that's mofuggin cold. So, today since I posted a luv spell yesterday, comes the obligatory lecture about love and relationships because so often I find it isn't the spell isn't working, it's the petitioner working against the spell, as many people (even me at times,) can get very overwhelmed by emotions and stop being sensible.
So, since yesterday's spell was to attract a specific person to you, why would this spell flounder - what behaviors or actions could cause that, and how can we address that so it doesn't happen to us.
For starters, make sure that the person is SINGLE. There is nothing right about dating someone who's with someone else (I mean, if it's a true open relationship then the other partner knows all about you and you're not going to be intruding on their relationship, but if it isn't, then...) and if you're a woman, even more people are going to judge you. It may be sexist, but it's how it is. But past the morality of them not being single, remember, if they cheated on their spouse or partner to be with you, they are almost guaranteed to cheat on you, and any coarse behaviors they showed towards that partner are apt to be aimed at you if their former partner leaves - and a lot of the time, they had no intention of leaving that person as is, and don't, which brings up the next problem. Even when you do a love spell on someone to make them come to you, they might already really like you in a romantic way, they may see you a bit more, but if they had no intention of leaving the person they are cheating on, then you will only accomplish seeing them more. So, one problem you may run into is your target isn't single and just getting someone attracted and desirous of you doesn't mean that they will leave their partner even if they act on those feelings.
If you did not know and just discovered your erstwhile partner was never single, it doesn't change the above, either.
Next, be sure this person is someone who would be sexually attracted to you. No, I'm not saying you're ugly. I know plenty of heterosexual people who get crushes on gay guys and girls and then think magic will fix that, as well as many gay folx who get crushes on heterosexual people, and so on and so forth. If you know the person has a preference, you are not doing yourself any favors by throwing yourself at someone who is not capable of feeling sexual or romantic attraction. Years and years ago, I knew someone who was deeply in love with a gay gentleman, and while he wasn't out of the closet, short of making out with a man in public, he was every gay stereotype there is, but she would not admit to herself that this was very likely so, and that woman threw everything magical at this guy to no avail, so save yourself the energy and heartache, and remember, it's not your fault or theirs that the attraction can't be consummated, but it's best for you both to let the crush go.
Also DO NOT STALK YOUR TARGET and do not smother them!! I don't understand why people think they are being slick or attractive by blowing up someone's phone or stalking social media, or any other stalkery smothery behaviors, but this is going to discourage your target's desire as strongly as pooping your pants while they are kissing you probably would.
When the person begins to respond to the spell, do not become overwhelming and smothery either! AND DO NOT bring up some past thing this person did the moment you begin to reconcile. If you really need to discuss this with them, then you need to wait to be back in a secure relationship or wait for them to bring it up.
And speaking of reconciliation, many of you neither know how nor how often to apologize. Apologies are generally given once, and you should not repeat them over and over. Be sure you take ownership of the mistake and the resulting problems or hurt it caused, and from there either try to suggest something to improve yourself, or say "I will do my utmost to avoid this mistake in the future." Example: "Hey, I'm really sorry that I got drunk and stole your moped and drove into a cave of polar bears at the zoo which destroyed it, but I want you to know that I'm so very sorry for the hurt and expense I've caused you, as I was totally wrong. Please accept this financial reimbursement for the full amount of a new moped and know I hope this makes up for what I've done and helps you to know I do not want this incident to harm our friendship." It is NOT: "Sorry I got drunk and stole your moped, but admit that I drove it straight into a den of polar bears was freakin classic! I mean here's a few bucks for your crappy bike - mopeds are so lame so maybe you can get a real motorcycle this time." Never deflect blame when apologizing. Own what you did.
But don't repetitively apologize because all you do is remind someone how much you hurt them. Say it once. One. Time.
I think that's all the classic "stop fcking up your own love spells" problems that aren't lust for results or someone making a mistake doing the spell....
I'll try to be back a bit later with another spell for you all. :)
~Cat
PS- I remembered one. No one wants to date a martyr or a slob, so clean yourself up and stop being so negative because I promise you, neither tends to appeal to a prospective partner.
Comments