Hi Occulties,
As we continue on with our series, let’s hit this revolting piece of garbage with a little bit of truth…
Misconception: Love spells don’t work, and when they do, they make the relationship cursed and it can never be happy again, plus it’s evil to make a person love you anyhow!
Reality: People are not always compatible with the person they want to be in a relationship with, and let’s not forget, a large number of people refuse to address the problems that led to a relationship falling apart (to make needed changes to have a healthy relationship,) or they do not want to see that the person they claim to love isn’t really the person they perceive them as. This means a lot of people complain that this must be wrong, when in reality, they are merely experiencing that they should have been careful for what they wished for (a person’s love,) and now find themselves regretting having it! In other words, they have a fantasy of what the love of this person would be like and it isn’t reality.
Let us first discuss that fantasy rarely if ever matches reality. When we first find ourselves attracted to a new person, we often project this fantasy of who we want them to be, who we hope they are, onto them, and everyone is acting as their perfect selves if they too are interested (probably you aren’t even sure if this person farts yet, but I assure you that they do,) so this is a very exciting and fun stage, but as you come together the cracks in that perfect veneer do begin to show and you start seeing the bad and ugly and annoying parts of a person…and fantasy gives way to reality. My mother always said you need to love someone warts and all - meaning the awful stuff too - and you know this is true. If you only want the good and can’t bear any other part, you do not love this person…at least not enough to be compatible with them. I’m not saying you should tolerate abuse, but rather they will enjoy hobbies and foods you do not. They will be annoying sometimes, and they will be selfish sometimes, and lazy sometimes and maybe pick their teeth at the dinner table and if that’s enough to make you feel like you can’t love them through that, the problem isn’t spellwork. The problem is you don’t really love them, at least not enough to be more than friends.
Sometimes the physical chemistry - that is, that sexual attraction to another, - is so strong, that we confuse this overwhelming urge with being in love, especially when we are young. Unfortunately, in time, the same cracks in that perfect veneer show and someone comes to me telling me they want so and so to stay but they don’t like (here say all this person’s personality quirks,) so I need to change that and keep them invested in my client. Again, this is not being in love nor will a love spell change this person into who you believe you love into the person you want them to be.
And like I always say… just because a jerk loves you, it doesn’t make them not a jerk.
And you know, just because you love someone, it doesn’t stop you from being a jerk, either. All of us, myself included, can be awful to our partners. I’m not saying we should be but rather that everyone is sometimes. We should strive not to be awful, and we should always work on ourselves…but there is no healthy relationship that never ever suffers a conflict throughout its duration, except maybe in a novel. At this writing, there’s a wonderful fellow Jimmy_on_relationships who is on several platforms but I will link to his Instagram here. He, and many other relationship coaches, relationship therapists, and the like are all very helpful in helping you and your partner work on and overcome toxic behaviors, because…
Even if you use spellwork, continuing to engage in toxic behavior patterns will continue to erode the relationship. Love spells don’t create an infinite dose of Molly in the other party, but instead create a period where during their influence you can nurture a relationship into being or into healing so it’s whole again. It’s not the spell’s fault if you refuse to address the toxic behaviors that keep destroying the relationship.
Basically, love spells aren’t responsible for you having emotional issues, confusing infatuation with love, having unrealistic ideas of love, or having misguided ideas like everyone expresses love how you do. Feelings of love and affection don’t fix people, they just help to create or mend relationships. They also don’t create compatibility when it doesn’t exist.
So they do work and quite well, but people misunderstand that love doesn’t fix a number of issues, and even given an opportunity to fix their issues, continue to not work on them.
And love cannot be falsely created…affection, infatuation, desire, cameradierie…these all can be instilled, but while these are the seeds of love, if no love can exist, love will not grow, so technically you can’t force anyone to love anyone, but those proverbial seeds do often blossom into love. The idea that love magic creates a synthetic love though is a misunderstanding. Love is both something which grows from the rockiest and most inhospitable environments, but also something which too often withers before reaching maturity, - that’s not spellwork, as much as it is the nature of love.
~Cat
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