Cat's Rants - Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Yearly Reminder

Hey kids,

This is long overdue, so let's get on with it, shall we?

Please check your spam folder before complaining I haven't replied. Furthermore please give me AT LEAST TWO BUSINESS DAYS BEFORE COMPLAINING I HAVE NOT REPLIED. By the terms of service, I actually have FIVE BUSINESS DAYS, so imagine my surprise when i get complaints for a 18 hour reply wait. 

PLEASE USE EMAIL ONLY! Using any other chat service or personal message service or site outside of my email comes with a very very high chance I will drop and lose the thread, and frankly if you did not email me, that means you took that risk willingly. I have a lot of clients and need to keep all my correspondence in my inbox, otherwise I start losing replies left and right. I also don't check every site every day, and my phone is almost permanently on do not disturb because it sounds like a robot having an orgy with a tribe of crickets any time I take it off that setting due to all of the people texting and chatting me. 

STOP MAKING ME REPHRASE SOMETHING OVER AND OVER JUST BECAUSE YOU DO NOT LIKE THE ANSWER. My answer won't change, and I can rephrase whatever it is in many ways, as you are not the first of your kind and I doubt the last either, so I've dealt with this before.

I DO HAVE BUSINESS HOURS... I realize my clients are all over the world, but it's a lot to handle when people want me up at 1am because that's convenient for them, and then the next person wants time at 5am, and then the next at 10am and so forth. This is why I have business hours, - because I really need to try to have time to do stuff like sleep, and occasionally to hang out with Future Mr NinjaCat and all that jazz. So the next time you ask me if I can talk to you at ten at night (my time) don't be surprised when I say no. Keep in mind, I also don't work on the weekends (I cast spells, but it's my time off from directly dealing with clients outside of emergencies, so I don't do readings and I often don't do replies,) so please respect that it is time off and don't get in a fight with my inbox.

I ALREADY DO NOT MAKE MUCH OF A PROFIT ON SPELLS. For some reason, people don't seem to understand that not only is there a serious cost on supplies, the rent on my spellcasting warehouse (it's a huge storage space, lol,) plus the cost of transportation, electric, and then for my time doing the spell. On top of which a portion of clients do not seem to understand that asking for several free hours of emotional support and encouragement and explaining things over and over and over, means if you were in the least amount high maintenance, theres a chance I didn't even make minimum wage. On the other hand there's also a chance where if you were super high maintenance, I maybe netted pennies on the dollar on your case. This is how I pay my bills, so obviously this is concerning. Please try to reign in overuse of being able to contact me for free and whenever you need to by using this privilege as needed not just because you're bored.

LUST FOR RESULTS IS A VERY REAL PROBLEM - basically this is a form of obsessive anxiety, though fantasizing a lot about the future (which isn't necessarily unpleasant,) can also be a form of lust for results. Basically you need to keep your mind in the PRESENT - try to keep the situation and the people being worked (if applicable) out of your mind, stop worrying, and stop fretting. I find that keeping my mind engaged is the best thing to keep from engaging in lust for results. I do not social media stalk (if you do check up on someone's social media, you're almost guaranteed to be engaging in lust for results,) and that may work for you too, but if it does not, you need to find an answer to calm yourself and redirect your thoughts. 

DO NOT POST ABOUT UNMANIFESTED SPELLWORK ON WEBSITES, CHAT GROUPS, ETC! This just hurting your spellwork! You're literally inviting others to think your spellwork to death (lust for results) with you. 

AND STOP MAKING A "FAIL BY DATE," or "DEATH CLOCK" TO GET ALL PISSY OVER. Unfortunately time frames are not a solid date. Myriad problems can slow manifestation (usually 95% of the time, it's lust for results,) and if you mark a date and come to me exactly say three weeks after I cast your spell, you created what I term a fail-by date or death clock. Basically, you've put in your mind something to the effect of "This spell has to manifest by October 10th, or it didn't work" which sends the message out to the universe "Make my spell fail on October 10." Instead of keeping a date in mind, try to tell yourself something more like "I should expect manifestation in October." Or "Manifestation should happen in the Autumn." This way your not focusing on a particular date which can actually impede manifestation.

I CAN'T MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOU. Look, it's not up to me if someone is worth it, if you should give up, or what you should do. Truth be told, I deeply dislike about 80% of my clients' love interests and think they are jerks. 

LASTLY, THERE IS ONLY ME HERE TO DO THE JOBS OF SEVERAL PEOPLE. Please understand, I'm a human being, I have a life, and sometimes, after working 12 hours listening to people and working spells, I'm exhausted and I just want to have an hour to myself. I live at my job. Some days the only times I am not working, it's because I'm eating, cleaning, cooking, showering, using the bathroom, or asleep. So basically barely caring for myself and my household on top of work work work work work. Do not demand off hours readings, or time with me and then get mad if I say no. If I do, I'm truly busy or I'm burnt out and need an hour or two to myself. 

I know that many of you are not trying to get on my case, or trying to be high maintenance, and honestly, if it wasn't over half of my current clients engaging in several of the above behaviors without realizing some not only violate my terms of service, some not only hurt their active spellwork...but they are also delaying responses, costing money, and etc, I figured it was time to remind everyone, that if we all just keep using email and not using my time up to ask if it's okay to bring your dog to the vet when your target lives a mile from your vet (yes, bring your dog to the vet,) business will run smoother, replies will come faster, and if you stop lusting for results you'll even get those results faster.

~Cat

Friday Night Special (I'll extend it into Midday Saturday for the Late Posting) 7-Day Love Spell Casting

Hey Everyone,

Sorry for the late post. My readings sale has been INSANE (or, I should say, I've been non-stop doing readings all week, which I love doing! :) While the readings' special extends to the end of Mercury Retrograde, this Friday, my special is....SEVEN DAY SPELLCASTING FOR LOVE AND/OR RECONCILIATION. Normally an average of $325, currently a FIFTY DOLLAR DISCOUNT at $275. Apply here - please just realize I CANNOT ACCEPT ALL REQUESTS. So, if you can't bear to hear no, but you want Chris Hemsworth to be your love slave (don't we all!) then it's likely I can't help. :P If you want your ex to contact you again and be seeking reconciliation, or if you want that cutey who works at the coffee shop around the corner to take notice of you and ask you out, then I probably can help. 

And, exciting news, I will be doing a week on discussing love spells in honor of my parent's 50th wedding anniversary (yep, still married,) this August 2.

~Cat

Now it's the Friday special - 30 minute readings

Leaving in 30 mins...

Hey everyone,

Sorry about not posting a new spell article this week. I managed to hurt my back about five days ago, and sitting in this chair for longer than 30 minutes was unbearable. Theoretically since I have a laptop, I can go anywhere, but with a husband and a bird, this is merely a theory. ;) My laptop stays on the kitchen table (we eat in front of the TV like a normal 21st century couple, ha ha,) because then it has less seeds in it, isn't taking up valuable coffee table space (Mr NinjaCat could not spare me much space, ha ha,) and well, it is what it is. I felt fine sitting anywhere but a hard backed chair, but unfortunately that meant not posting as much, and in a few cases, briefer replies than is normal. I am feeling better now (much better!) and being as it is so hot and the table is right next to the window, it's actually kind of nice sitting here. 

BUT, that is not why I'm posting right now. At the suggestion of Mr NinjaCat, the day of a weekly special should be, in his mind, on Friday. So, sure, let's try it and see if it is successful. :) 

30 minute readings are a ridiculous $50 DOLLARS but only for TODAY, July 19, 2019. That's TWENTY DOLLARS OFF of the regular price. That's insane!

So, if you want $20 off of your 30 minute reading, purchase today (we can schedule the reading at your convenience,) and you got it. :) Contact me for an invoice and scheduling. 

And I promise, now that my middle-aged back (which sadly is not what it once was,) is healed, I will get you a fun article. Maybe a Questions You've Asked Me article, which tend to be a favorite of many. :)

~Cat

Super Savings Sunday - 2 Hr Reading (to be split up as you like)

Hey everyone,

Trying something new. If it works well, I'll keep it going. I'm going to try featuring ONE ITEM each Sunday at a discount - the sale extends only to that item and only for the day of Sunday (so no, you can't express interest and then pay me Wednesday and get the sale price, ha ha). 

This Sunday, you can get $45 off of the 2 hour reading pack (spend 2 straight hours on the phone with me if you want, 4 half hours, 2 sixty minute readings, or even 2 half hours and one hour...all up to you.) Instead of the normal price of $195, for today only it is $150. Get it while you can. The offer ends at 11:59 EST tonight! :)

Contact me if interested!

~Cat

Rootwork Box Could Be a Thing

File this one under - I am not sure if this is a shit idea or a good idea. ;) I would love some opinions. 

As many of you may know, I am a TERRIBLE mailer. Does this or that have to go out in the mail? Oh noes, you know I am going to take awhile there. :P Or, at least, I used to. ;) Because you know who is really good with the mail? Mr NinjaCat. If I pack everything up (never a problem,) he is willing to stand in line and pay postage and do all that stuff that makes me go "When in the feck do I have 40 minutes to get all dressed up and whatnot, and then still mail stuff? That's ridiculous! Who has time for that!?" Who has time for that? Mr NinjaCat has time for that. ;)

So an idea came to me....right now these monthly boxes people get (think like Birchbox or Lootbox, or they even have things like Bird Box for birds,) are a really big trend. And if I had, say, at least 5 people interested in something, I could create a box for SPELLCASTING. I could do this with a monthly theme, so love drawing, money drawing, blessing/cleansing, cursing, etc, and this could even help people grow a nice little collection of oils and herbs and tools that they can use for different workings. Much like Ipsy or similar, these would probably include less than a full size item (half sized, excluding candles,) just for shipping and costs reasons. FURTHERMORE, it could help people who sell occult products send their products to a larger audience. It would basically be 4-7 items all relating to a specific type of spellwork, and which can be used together with a spell which is included, or can be used separately with some instruction on what each item does and how it can be used.  

Now, some of this will require me investing money into the idea, but if I had enough interested parties, I could send out a monthly spell box. That is great for someone who is learning how to cast spells or who wants to grow their collection of ritual items....

But then, I thought "Well, the problem there is that a part of my audience is only worried about one problem, and have no real interest in becoming a practicing occultists once they solve said single problem."

So am I going out on a limb with this idea? You tell me. 

~Cat

Update on the Book

As many of you know, myself and Mike Cecchetelli are coming out with a book...any day now. I know it's coming soon because we discussed things like end papers and whatnot like ten days or so ago...and yet I still don't have a solid release date other than "any day now." 

However with that in mind, I'll probably have A LOT of business when this comes out, and that might be difficult. With my current work load and so many people acting ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY INSANE (clients, client's targets, just people in general) in the last few weeks, I've been considering downsizing how many people I take on as clients after January 2017. I have other obligations (a class, I want to write another book, I have a personal life - you know, the basics,) and I'd like to have the time to enjoy/engage in those obligations. So, part of that will involve me taking on less client work for awhile. I'm not totally ready to downsize my client-work-load yet, but in the next few weeks I will be. 

So, an advisory....if you're really invested in having me work for you, read for you, or engage my services, NOW is the time to ask. When I start getting slammed with work because of the book's release, I'm going to start reducing how many people I will accept for new work. 

As far as the book, I will definitely let ALL OF YOU KNOW the moment it is released. Mike's been hyping it, I've been hyping it - it's basically all you ever wanted to know about love and seduction spells, especially in the Hoodoo tradition. I know it will be popular. :) And again, release date? Any day now. 

Best,

~Cat

Business Stuff Questions I Found Interesting

Hey there occulties,

A prospective client sent me the following questions and I found it interesting enough to share, to which this person agreed (of course, I'm keeping them anonymous,) as I thought it was one of the more insightful consultations I've had. The prospective client is in italic type, I am in regular type. I've also discarded the personal questions about the person's problem for obvious reasons... it has just been a long time since someone asked me so many creative questions that I thought I'd share. ;)

I saw you were offering a month of work for a discount. Can this be used to get multiple 7-day castings at different times?

At this writing (12/5/16) I am actually offering a deep discount on the month service, but if someone wanted to pay the month-fee at any time for five weeks of spellcasting spread out, I'd gladly work that deal out with them, yes. It would be a huge savings for people who like me to do lots of spells for them. For other people, one round is enough and the problem is taken care of, and then I don't hear from them for like 2 years until they need my services again, haha. ;) For them, five weeks of spellwork is probably not a super investment. 

Is there a fee I can pay monthly to keep you on retainer? For example, if I paid for seven days up front and then didn't need the service now, could I just pay a maintenance amount?

There would be no maintenance required. I offer what I refer to as "pre-buys" which means a week worth of work at discounts all of the time. So long as the transaction was less than 5 years ago, the money is always good. I don't need you to pay a maintenance fee like a bank would. Just like you could buy a month of work and spread the work out over time (and not for a greater cost to yourself,) so can you pre-buy a week of work. While 7-day spellcastings are my basic package, I've even had people purchase this and have me do a few individual spells instead of the full 7-day package. 

I realize nothing can be guaranteed and that some expectations would be difficult to fulfill, but if someone offered you a large amount, say $2000, would you be willing to take on a case you normally wouldn't?

Probably not. I mean, I like money as much as the next person, but if I feel I can't be successful, my best answer is "I can't help you." I don't do this to be mean, or even because I want more money - I do it because I don't feel I can be of help. 

If you retire, what would you do if someone had money "on retainer?" For example with my 30-day hire question, what if you retired and 2 weeks of service were left? 

I've thought of retiring from the for-hire business more than once. I've been doing it for over a decade, and it's a difficult and draining job. :P That said, I would never reject my clients, students, or anyone with money on their account, even if I stopped taking new sales. I've made several good friends over the years at this job - clients - and I would never want to turn them away if they need my help. If someone had money invested in my services, I would provide these services, even if I'd entered into a new industry and was no longer offering services to the general public.

Are you going to raise your prices after your book comes out?

Probably not. I am hoping the book can actually allow me to cut back on the amount of active cases I take on, though. Right now, I work at least 12 hours a day every day. 

Do you ever offer in-person services?

Rarely. The person would have to live nearby to me for me to do that. It's not that I don't want to help, but travelling long distances can be difficult. 

What would you say your biggest weakness is?

I'm a horrible mailer. Horrible. I have one bill I don't pay online for this very reason, and I'm lucky since that's a payment I drop off. :( So, when I need to mail things out to people there is often a lot of issues with that. :P This is why I rarely sell material items. I've had a few people ask me if the post office blew up or something, because I'd not mailed something out to them for a few weeks. :P

If I wanted you to work for something until I got the desired end, could I pay you a weekly fee?

Yes, I've been willing to do that before. It is actually cheaper to purchase a 30 day hire than pay me on a weekly basis though. I actually work 35 days on a 30 day hire, doing five weeks of work. 

****

Anyhow, I thought it was interesting. Most people want to know if I really really really believe I can get so and so back, or do spirits come out of my mirrors at night, or do I shoot fireballs out of my eyes. ;) This, I thought, was relevant. Anyhow, I will get back to typing up that controlling spell article, as I know many of you are getting excited for it. :) 

~Cat

 Added bonus... This prospective client literally asked "Can I pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today?" To those of you who think I have no sense of humor? I totally laughed. ;)

 

I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday for a Hamburger Today!

Ah the holidays. I get a crappy birthday, a crappy Christmas, and all throughout it I get "I can pay you (some future time completely in opposition to the contract I signed when applying where the client agrees to where they say they are ready to pay now.)" This is always said after I've spent up to an hour with the person in consultation.

And the worst part? My payment processor gives you an option where you can delay you paying through them, while I get the full amount. :/

So, despite not wanting to do a sale for awhile, I said to myself "Cat, this sort of bullshit must be because of the holidays." Then I realized I can even make it sort of evil, and make it not a sale, hahaha, at least not for the people who will gladly pay me in some future time for something today! gag

So here goes - if you are ready to pay at the time your consult ends (or within an hour of said time,) I will take 10% of the price off of any service purchased. All that is required of you is to pay your bill in a timely manner (like the bill says - due upon receipt.) Now, if you're going to wait any longer than an hour? No penalty is assessed. None. You just pay full price, as in the price listed on the invoice. That doesn't help you or harm you. So long as you do not have a mis-used consultation fee, you're never penalized. Obviously as stated on my site, a misused consultation fee is applied for anyone paying over a certain amount of days past the end of the consultation.

Therefore, if you want TEN PERCENT OFF OF THE TOTAL PURCHASE PRICE OF ANY SINGLE DANG SERVICE, from NOW until 1/1/17, all you need to do is pay me within an hour of the end of your consultation (and I'll send the invoice immediately.) I'm merely rewarding the responsible. :)

OK, off to finish a few writing projects. :) Hope this helps some of you financially, and to those it won't? I mean, I know, you'll gladly pay me Tuesday for a hamburger today. ;)

~Cat

Thank You!!! :)

Hey Occulties,

While I'm sure this will read as a ton of platitudes, I do realize sometimes we all need me to point out something nice (you know that isn't like my previous post where I want to punch UPS in the balls.) ;)

This month has been pretty amazing with manifestations. A lot of stuff I did in May sort of paid out slowly and I wasn't pleased with that. I had a lot of complaints because in many cases it wasn't messy love work, and it should have been happening a lot faster. So, every day in July - and I mean every single day, - I get someone thanking me, and telling me I got them exactly what they wanted. 

This might surprise you, but I don't usually know if I hit my mark until someone orders from me a second time. People don't update me more than maybe one out of every ten times when they get what they want. They'll sometimes complain practically daily until they get what they want, but never tell me I got it for them until they need something new. This month has been different.

And that means a lot to me. I work REALLY HARD at this job, with my average business day going 12-14 hours. There is only one of me, and that's why you wait 6 days to hear from me sometimes, because 10 other people are on a crying jag, and I have to write up 2 articles for this or that, and also I have to go buy this, that, and the other thing which involves a 10 mile journey, half of it on foot, etc etc. So every time someone thanks me it makes this job worth it. And this is a high-stress job, so even one person telling me I got something they've wanted for so long to come into their life can make the worst day ever into the best day ever. I can't please everyone - some people are never happy with anything anyhow, - but if I can change even one person's life for the better, that means the world to me. 

So thank you to everyone who updated me in July to tell me that you have exactly what you asked me for. You've really made me a lot happier than you realize. It's not easy to wait for manifestation, and I understand this entirely because like many of you, I've had to wait for a spell for something I wanted VERY VERY DEARLY to manifest into my life, and during my wait I was anxious to have what I wanted (which, yes, I'm admitting I also get lust for results sometimes, haha.) So many of you are a gift to work for, and I appreciate it so much that you took the time to let me know the outcome. It means so very much to me. 

Alright, I'll try to get some spell or bit of wisdom up shortly. Ew, squishy nice emotions and in a public place...wouldn't want everyone to know I'm not that mega-bitch I have the reputation for being, haha. ;) 

~Cat

UPS IS BANNED FOR CLIENT-to-CAT DELIVERY

Hey clients,

If you want to mail me something you are not to use UPS. The delivery guy has put 2 notices on my door without knocking (I'm sitting five feet from the door, he doesn't knock) then shot a postcard through without knocking. So I called UPS who thought to make me drive ten miles out of the city for something which I don't know who sent it to me, what it is, or why it requires my signature, when I don't drive. I'm not paying a cab to drive me out of the city when I was sitting right the fuck here and no one bothered knocking, and for something I don't know what it is. 

Until UPS gets a capable delivery driver who knocks (which is a problem I experience only with their service,) you are not to send me ANYTHING via UPS. I actually have worked with people who work for UPS, and it hurts me to say it, but up your game in the Northeast because your drivers are legendary for this shit. MOST companies deliver with signature to the office downstairs OR they knock. This is the 5th or 6th time UPS has done this to me in the last 18 months, and I try to avoid their service, especially with signature confirmation, so that should tell you something. 

Anyhow, sorry if that upsets anyone's plans, and if you mailed something to me via UPS, it's leaving 2 towns over (where I won't be picking it up,) on the 15th. If you mailed me something and I've not told you it was received, then expect it to return to you. :P

~C