Cat's Rants - Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Just Because Mercury Retrograde and Big Holidays in North America Sometimes Don't Mix

Hey there Occulties,

So, it's come to the time where people are making problems with their beloved (yay, Mercury retrograde,) and then making some pretty non-magical mistakes in reconciling that person or in navigating their situation well. While I'm so much more about the magical fixes (yay, magic!), I am also very aware that if you can't handle it in the mundane world when it comes to relationships, you could easily flub your spellwork up and stop it from manifesting. :(

While I'm a HUGE FAN of this article, allow me to also say...

People (just people in general) tend to exaggerate and lie, and even moreso in emotionally-charged situations. Stop believing everything your ex/beloved said as being 100% truth. I will have people tell me so-and-so always "tells tall tales" (exaggerates when relaying a story to the point of fabrication,) only to then complain about details of this person's story that are scary and upset them. If the person is a known exaggerator or liar, why take anything they say as truth? You need to depend on your OWN OBSERVATIONS to get the real truth, not what that person told you. 

Are you upset? Angry/Sad/Hurt? PUT DOWN YOUR SMARTPHONE! DO NOT TEXT OR MESSAGE THAT EMOTIONAL MESS AT SOMEONE. Wait until you're calm, collected, and NOT EMOTIONAL before you contact that person. 

Silence is a bit like a "not guilty" plea, - because you can always change your plea if a good deal comes your way (USA court system, sorry, lawyer's kid, and yes, always initially plead not guilty and also say nothing except to identify yourself, lol,) AND you can always say what you need to say but you CANNOT TAKE BACK WHAT YOU HAVE SAID. So, when in doubt? Silence is the answer!

Apologies are for the person APOLOGIZING, not so much for the recipient, - apologize once, don't have a "BUT" in that apology (buts stink!) and then do not apologize again. All it does is remind the person you hurt how you hurt them. It's like reopening the wound! So apologize ONCE if you must, but don't over explain yourself or repeatedly grovel for forgiveness.

Get off of social media. It creates so much mental illness that I could start a clinic just to cure people of social-media histrionics. Seriously. If you're "not in a good place right now," you need to take a break from social media. 

Drugs and alcohol may complicate the situation. Try to avoid imbibing intoxicating substances if you're already low on self-control. 

Don't act weird. If you think you are acting weird, you are acting super-weird. How do I know? As human beings, it has, historically, been in our best interest to notice little deviations from someone's normal behavior as a matter of survival. If someone started acting strange, it could mean they were going to harm us, or it could mean they were afraid of something...which could be a danger to us. Therefore, everyone has a "radar" and notices weird behavior. So, if you think you can't act "normal,' you might want to excuse yourself from a situation for a little bit until you calmed down. 

Don't throw yourself at your target! I've been over this before, kids. Target flirts, you reciprocate at about an equal level of flirting. Target says something that is positive that ends with a "shut down" phrase, grasp the positive, and just so slightly expand to make it more positive. So, if your target says "I love those shoes, are those new?" you do not respond with "I love you and want you back in my life," but rather, something like "Oh, these? I got them a few weeks ago. I noticed your shoes, too! You always did have great taste in fashion!" If target says "Sometimes I still miss what I had, but I don't know if I could ever deal with the mess we went through again." You don't reply "OMIGOD, WHY WILL YOU NOT FORGIVE ME WHEN I LOVE YOU!!!" Instead you might try something like "Yes, I agree with you. Things got really tough at the end, but I have really great memories of you, too. I'm so happy we've had some time apart to work on our issues. It helps me to remember you very fondly and to put that hurt behind me." 

See, these are all easy things we can do to improve love/reconciliation situations. They aren't even magical. 

Magic is a wonderful thing. It can put the odds ever so much in your favor, but you do need to work with the spellwork. Sometimes this can seem far more difficult than people realize it could be. Inching towards your goal (and many spellwork cases do have a period where someone is inching towards what they need/want,) can feel very frustrating. Don't worry - IT GETS BETTER. Just because there is a week or two where there is just very small progress...well slow progress IS STILL PROGRESS, and guess what? Most of my clients (and some of my readers) actually begin to freak out when manifestation starts hitting strongly. It can be even more overwhelming to have someone do a complete 180 degree flip and suddenly go from thinking you're OK and all to seriously wanting you (or wanting you back.) 

Now, I will see if I have time today to write you up a nice spell article, but as a reminder, do not let booze and frustrated love feelings ruin your spellwork this Canada Day/Fourth of July week. I've seen too much carnage in my inbox this week already (OMIGOD PUT THE SMARTPHONES DOWN!!!) and I know it isn't over yet. ;) I want to hear you're reunited with your loved one or that you're with that person you've been crushing on....not that you drank too much and totally texted a picture of your butt to your intended's best friend because your fat drunk fingers hit the wrong contact. That's no good. Let's not do that. ;) Hopefully this article has reminded you to be your best you during this Mercury retrograde/Holiday week.

~Cat

PS- I am not really going anywhere for the holiday, so if you need me, chances are, I'll be here. ;)

 

Mama Cat's Pearls of Wisdom #35 - Death Clocks

Hey there Occulties,

I know I've gone over the concept of what I somewhat humorously refer to as a "death clock" in here before, but I think, judging from my inbox, it's time to go over this concept again. 

My long-time readers understand that the law of attraction is not that silly bullshit in that horrible book (a title like many others of it's kind,) called The Secret, but rather is a huge, gigantic collection of laws (much like physics). Part of this is that all thoughts and emotions have energy, and whether or not it feels or sounds nice and cheery and hopeful to you (or is one or all of those three) that this energy can be attractive or repulsive (as in to push away,) it can be stagnant (causing no change, keeping something put), or expansive (creating change, keeping something unstable) - all of this is possible. Now, I don't want to discuss the laws of attraction (not at all) but to help teach you about a death clock, I do need to touch on it as I just have.

So, let's say you decide that if you do not have x outcome by a specific date, you shall never have whatever this is. I would bet you $20 if you were spellcasting for this thing, that you very likely will not have x outcome on that date. I recently had 3 different clients tell me they had the desired outcome for their case 2 days, 4 days, and 6 days later than expected. This was all in the last week I've heard this. Now, I'm speculating (as none of them were really filthy sick with lust for results, which is the main cause of spell failure) but I'm assuming each person was pushing for that date as meaning if x outcome didn't happen then, it likely would mean it would not happen, and the moment that day passed and they let go (rather than getting more weepy and frustrated and angry, which is the go to reaction for the lust-for-results crowd) and tried to get on with their lives, and BOOM, the desired outcome manifested. 

But why does this happen? Well, as is my best understanding, the anxiety surrounding this specific date is part of the problem. You're pushing the desired outcome off with your attachment and emotional energy. It is a form of lust for results. Depending on your natural disposition, this might not  mean you're foaming at the mouth and freaking out every day and getting yourself even more anxious as the date approaches, but it can mean you're still building some anxiety or expectation which can push off a desired result. (Yes, definitely some people are wired and angry and working themselves into a panic as each day passes - believe me, it's a bit too common to say that is a small group or that I'm exaggerating that it happens.) However, if you're fixed on the idea that a specific date is the cut off for results to happen, even if you're cool, calm, collected - it's going to build a bit of subconscious energy to this end. This energy pushes off the desired result. 

Also, realize those with a "death clock" are repetitively telling themselves "The spell fails on (date,)" which is basically drawing failure to them and/or their spell. :P So....OK, pushing off the desired result, while basically asking to have a spell fail on a particular date? That's not really going to help your manifestation. ;) Spells certainly have a life-span (in my opinion,) but rare is it (if ever) that it's going to be exactly 21 days to the day you spoke the last word of that chant. Hell, I've known people to get results months after they did the work, often because they didn't let go of the situation and it slowed manifestation. :/

What can you do? First, realize that ANY time frame is, generally speaking, a ballpark figure. While I can reasonable assume anyone who tells me 10 minutes after the clock changes to this ballpark figure (say 21 days to the minute or something,) that the spell has failed is filthy sick with lust for results, it's not uncommon for a neophyte spellcaster or someone new to spells to believe that the date given is an expiration date. Whatever outcome you're working towards could be even a week or two behind or ahead of schedule, and the manifestation figure given is nothing more than an estimation. The spell isn't a coach turning into a pumpkin at midnight like in Cinderella. Second, LET GO of the situation. Put it out of your mind. Get on with your life. Spells manifest much faster when you stop holding on to the situation with a death grip. You will still want whatever outcome it is even if you're not constantly worrying and thinking on the situation throughout the manifestation process. 

Hopefully this made sense, and I've not confused some people more. ;)

~Cat

Mama Cat's Pearls of Wisdom #34 - Silence is Golden

Hey Occulties,

While this issue is never that far from my inbox - someone generally suggests to me that they should do this, or they do it and then ask me why things are awful, - I suppose I should say this publicly, if I've not before. NEVER WRITE ANYTHING IN TEXT OR EMAIL THAT YOU DO NOT WANT PLASTERED ON THE EVENING NEWS. Also, remember, if you're texting a love spell target or emailing them, they can read that over and over and over and over, and it's actually proven that psychologically, people read things in the darkest tone possible, so they are probably getting more and more irked every time they read whatever you wrote, especially if it is about how they hurt you. Make silence your weapon if you have a target who's not speaking to you.

And if you don't have that option? Your target works with you, shares children, a living space, or pets? Don't bring up the emotional past. Don't. It might feel like a relief to you in the short term, but you're setting yourself back by quite a bit if you want this person back in your life. If they associate you with being nagged, yelled at, made to feel badly about their past choices, upset, sad, angry - they don't want to return to someone they associate with those feelings. No one wants to associate with someone who's miserable, desperate, or complaining. So keep it businesslike and avoid bringing up the emotional upsets of the past until they start showing you the signals that they want to talk to you about this.

And if you don't care and just want to write them off? Well, then maybe send that text or email, and hit block. Of course, if you're so wound up that you have to send that text or email, you do still care. Silence often keeps more options open. Thinking it's cathartic to let someone know how much they hurt you or upset you may be true, but often it is just giving away what power you have to the person who hurt you. 

Hope this made some sense....and don't hit that send button just yet. ;)

~Cat

Mama Cat's Pearls of Wisdom #33: Going Against Nature

Hey Occulties,

First, I know I'm tardy in releasing this info - Karen C is my winner for the Amazon.com gift card. I know you have been enjoying it for like 2 weeks now, lol, but now everyone knows you have it. :)

So, just something quick today, and this is probably going to make a few of you sad. I'd been discussing this with a few people this week (in those off moments that I have spare time,) and I figured it might benefit the herd. ;) 

When working on a person, you must always keep in mind their nature, by which I mean the parts of their personality and emotional make up which are not apt to change. For example, if you want someone to be faithful to you there are all sorts and types of spells for that, but if it is that person's nature to be polyamorous (that is to do the nasty whenever with whoever,) then you are more likely to harm the target using this type of work because you are going against this person's nature. I might "tie a man's nature" so he can only get hard for me, but then if he's really man-whoring all over (because that's how he's wired,) the only solution the spell could find is to break his dick...permanently, so it won't even work for me. Or if I have a man who is to stoic for me, and doesn't like to talk about his feelings, I might try to use spells to make him more open and communicative which, if he was always the type to hold back and keep it in, then forcing him against his nature could mean the spell manifests by giving him a full nervous breakdown from which he never ever recovers.

In either of the above examples, I'd likely be working someone INCREDIBLY HARD to get those outcome, but in the above examples I am still forcing a change which is opposite to the nature of the target, and therefore I am risking harm or disaster by knowingly doing so. 

Now, I've said before that any spell might have a "Monkey's Paw," manifestation (that is, you get what you want but in the worst way imaginable,) but if you merely keep in mind a target's nature, you will get a better idea of how to work a problem and if that problem is fixable (or can be changed to a more beneficial situation.) It's an ugly truth, but one I deal with frequently at my job. No one wants to learn that the guy who cheats on his wife to be with you has a wife and a girlfriend all of the time and even if you displace the wife, you would only get that role (and he'd get another girlfriend.) And why? It's his nature. No one wants to know that the liar, or the bigot, or the thief, the non-communicator, etc. is not likely to be getting better...this is a part of who they are. 

While I do feel many problems can be HELPED with magic, you will not change someone's nature. Think of it like this....if a river flows north to south but we insist that in flow south to north because we'd like that better, no matter how many machines we put in this river (and it will push the water in the desired direction for a time,) eventually everything will break and that river will go north to south again. The river is someone's nature, the machines are our magic, - and see, eventually it breaks down, and things return to their natural state.

Why is this? Because magic exists to INFLUENCE things how we want them to be. While the influence can create permanent change, it is there to give an opportunity for you to nurture this into a desired change. If I do a spell to get a job, I have to go to that job and do my best work. If I don't, I will lose the job. That would not be the spell's fault, but my own, if I lose that job. This doesn't seem to puzzle people. If I reconcile two people, once they forgive each other, that is permanent. The crime is forgiven. But maybe I'm kind of a jerk and I antagonize my newly-returned ex, and he goes and he bolts. That's not the spell's fault - it's mine. So if I am working on a person, for example, who is a cheater, they constantly want to cheat. No matter how many times I tie and bind that person, inside of them, they want to cheat and as much as you or I want to keep breathing - that's how deep the urge goes. So, as my influence fades (and all spells fade,) that urge to cheat can overpower my influence, and the person goes out and cheats. Or maybe because I keep working against their nature, the influence will come out so the person CANNOT CHEAT (physically) by causing actual harm to their body. The more I demand to go against a person's nature, the more likely the influence will manifest itself in a not so nice way. Think of the river I spoke of above - if you insist something go entirely opposite to how it is supposed to go, your influence will often be limited or disastrous. If you only need an influence to last a short time to create a permanent change, go out and do what you want to make things "the opposite of how they should be," - but if you're thinking you will change a person who has always been how they are with one spell, you risk limited success and disastrous manifestations. Simple as that. 

Hope that was helpful and not just me rambling. :)

~Cat

Mama Cat's Pearls of Wisdom #32 - Emotion and Spellcasting

Hey Occulties,

I was having this conversation with a few people in the last week, so I figured it might benefit my readers as well. 

So when you cast a spell, - especially on another person - you are going to have the greatest amount of impact if effecting this person on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL. The human brain is set up to give a greater amount of attention to any thought or memory with great emotion attached to it. 

For example, if you wanted to command me to do a thing, and this thing was that you want me to say the word "Fuck" a lot (apparently you've been working this one for years, haha,) you could use commanding spellwork to send this, but keep in mind, when you do so, this is not attached to any sort of emotional response (probably,) to the command so I will not retain the influence as long as I would if you attached emotion to it. For example, "Cat, every time you hear the word fuck, you become intensely angry," would last longer as an influence as I would begin (emotionally) to associate the word "fuck" with great anger while you worked on me, so even after your spell's influence had passed, I'd still react inwardly to your influence having been conditioned to feel anger (an emotional response) when hearing someone say "fuck." 

I find this is often why people have a hard time with straight commanding work, but don't be disappointed if you feel that this means your current work on commanding another will fail. Consider the type of command* - is this something where you need another to take a simple action, or something which will not require a change in behavior? If yes, then you should try a spellcasting method that is a quick influence. If I need so-and-so to pay me back, I might use the command "(name of target), repay all of your debts to me," until this person has repaid me. If, however, the target has continuously stolen, borrowed, etc, and now I have a problem where they are not only in debt to me but incurring injury, I might instead go a bit darker - perhaps "(Name of target,) a deep feeling of fear encompasses you, and makes you restless and deeply morose, every time you hear my name and think of the debts you have incurred with me. Terror destroy your mind until you have paid for everything you have taken from me." Fear is a very strong emotion, and has a tendency to grow. Not only are you trying to command a repayment, but you are attaching a STRONG emotional response so that the target is encouraged to repay everything stolen and borrowed, while simultaneously being conditioned against future borrowing and theft - and with a more long-lasting influence.

Keep in mind, spell energy is made so it completes the task given. It will fade. This is why I always say to work on your problems in the mundane, so that they don't crop up in the future. If you need to reconcile an  ex, but the problem was your difficulty in communicating your feelings, you might bring back the ex, but if you are still verbally constipated and emotionally absent when they do return, you may very well leave again in a short while. You're influencing the person to come back, but if the problems that caused the split aren't addressed, the situation falls apart again. 

That's interesting with break ups, - remember, this person who is being "forced" (in some cases) to return (the target) has already been emotionally conditioned against returning to an ex (in general), being with the petitioner (because this person hurt them enough for them to break off the relationship and there will be pain and anger associated with the petitioner in the target's mind, which are VERY STRONG emotions,) so part of the work is often calming the target, warming those love emotions (love is a strong emotion, too,) but you're working against another whole set of memories with strong BAD emotions attached to them, so...that is part of the reason reconciliation magic can be so difficult. 

Perhaps I'm just rambling, but hopefully this is some help - for the longest lasting influence when working on others, attach a strong emotional response (preferably one that suits your outcome,) and you will have a spell that really helps change the situation permanently. If you just need a quick action taken, or a short term goal, being more clear and concise in your command (and not worrying about emotions,) often will suit that working better.

Hope that wasn't too much rambling and made sense. :)

~Cat

*command is being used rather broadly, I admit. The command is often written on a name-paper in Hoodoo, but there are just as many times when it is more or less spoken and not written. If I were straight-up using commanding work on you to, say, eat too much icecream, I might literally be repeating this command over and over while working you (say like using a photo to work you,) and it would be a certain phrase, like "Your name, all you desire is to eat as much ice cream as you can even past the point of feeling sick," and repeat that over and over. I might write that on a name paper 9 times over your name. I may take a few actions. If you do not understand what I mean when I say command after this, I suppose let me know. ;) Those of you who have been spellcasting for more than just a spells will probably understand what I am getting at. 

This entire site is copyright OriginalNinjaCat.com, except where noted, and cannot be used in any way, copied, pasted, transmitted, or etc without my express written permission. Plagiarists are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and rewards are given to those who find people plagiarizing any of the content of this site. 

Mama Cat's Pearls of Wisdom #31: The Value of Choices

Hey Occulties,

I want you to know something...

Everything you have or don't have is because of you. Right now where you are is a result of the choices you made. Maybe something that happened today was the result of a choice you made YEARS ago, and maybe another thing that happened today was from a choice you made less than a minute ago, but wherever you are, it's because of your decisions and your choices. While I'll give you that accidents and health issues and birth deformities and birth locations happen - guess what? From the moment you exited the womb, you started making choices, and by the time you were a teenager, you had enough control to seriously say "this is now all on me - this isn't my parents, this isn't my teachers, this isn't my friends making decisions - it's me." Everything that has happened to you since is a product of YOUR CHOICES AND YOUR ACTIONS (or lack thereof).

Maybe you thought you were doing the right thing, and found out you were wrong. Hey, my life is just one giant string of "It sounded like a good idea at the time," so I hear you on that. Maybe you listened to some bad advice (I have,) maybe you fell in love with a shitty person (I have,) maybe you decided to drink too much and were unimaginably hurtful to the love of your life...but you made those choices to take that advice, to persist in your pairing with person, to drink too much...

So everything right now that is happening to you is because of you. Own it. Be responsible. It isn't going to feel great all of the time (because I don't know about you, but saying "I was wrong to trust so-and-so, but I did, and this is my fault," can really suck, and I've said it,) but it won't feel bad all of the time (because saying "Wow, I'm so glad that I learned how to change a tire on a lark, now we're not stranded on this dark highway, and I've saved the day," can really feel great.)

The moment you take responsibility for YOURSELF, and stop blaming others for where you are now is the moment you can begin to change those things in your life that you do not like.

Most of us want more money, a better job, financial security, someone who loves us, people who understand us, a comfortable home, etc, - and this is all fine for you to keep wanting this, or a better version of this, but you MUST keep working to get there, and you must keep making decisions and taking actions which may or may not positively impact your journey to getting and keeping all of these desirable things.

When you work out, you must keep working out to stay fit.

When you get a paycheck, you still have to go to work the next week to get another paycheck.

When you tell someone that they matter, you need to continue to show them that you feel that way.

All good things in life need to be nurtured and cared for - there is no "press a button once, and it falls into place" outcome.

So remember that when you begin your path to learning magic. There is no "one last spell that fixes everything permanently in my life." Even if it's just one spell you cast, you're still going to have to make decisions and take actions to keep that end result what you want it to be, because life is an endless river in which you are paddling and if you do not make wise choices, and good decisions, you might end up shit's creek without a paddle.

Best,

~Cat

All content on this site is copyright OriginalNinjaCat.com and cannot be used in any form whatsoever without my express written permission. I STRONGLY go after anyone who violates my copyright.

One More Reason to Avoid Using Dating Sites and Apps

UPDATED 10/20/14 - Yeah, because this actually isn't as unusual as this news story makes it sound. You should hear the things I get to read and hear when it comes to online dating stories. Click to read.

Hey Occulties,

Redhead Writing's Erika Napoletano shares her recent bad experience with Tinder here, and it just gives me reason #2,173,188 to share with you why you should avoid dating sites, and apparently if value your privacy, you should especially avoid Tinder.

Now, I know I'm going to get some butt-hurt people, and so before I begin, I'm going to start with yes, I do understand it's hard to meet people sometimes, and/or yeah, sure I've heard "everyone's doing it." Good for everyone, and let me channel the spirit of everyone's mother into my person and croak out in true medium fashion "Well, if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you jump, too?!" Did I just sound like your mom? Good, I was hoping I did. ;) Because your mom has a point, and so do I - just because everyone does a stupid thing, doesn't mean you should, too. I do stupid things sometimes, and I don't want you to imitate my stupidity when I do those things. ;) So, can we all agree that going with the crowd is not a good reason for doing something? We can? Good.

Alrighty, so you may be angry with me for saying "You're asking for trouble" if you use dating sites and apps. I can already see the 10 people who had a good experience (out of the 2,400 in my Rant Room,) raising their hands to object. Well, you know, being a statistically insignificant percentage (and I'm not saying there aren't a lot of relationships that started on dating sites/apps, I'm trying to say "SUCCESSFUL" relationships from them are statistically insignificant, in my experience, and I DO deal with a lot of people in relationships, ahem,) does make you unique, and being unique is awesome, but if by the grace of God you managed to find and marry and be happy with someone from a dating site, then your relationship is like finding a unicorn, and good for you. :) It's the rest of you I'll be addressing here...

So, for starters, let's ask ourselves why do people use dating sites/apps?
1. They genuinely are introverted or lead some lifestyle which makes it difficult for them to be around others frequently, can't meet people, and this makes it easy for them to meet others.
2. They just want to get laid and are willing to ask anyone on the internet if that person is interested.
3. They just want to get laid and are willing to manipulate others into thinking it's love to get this sex from them, which they have found a treasure trove of endless "willing" victims.
4. They find themselves hugely unattractive, but like how they look (add number) years ago, and this is the easiest way to convince someone they still look that way before actually meeting them in person, then SURPRISE!!!
5. They are scary-ass desperate for someone to love them. Stalker desperate, maybe. In fact, probably. Avoid the desperate at all costs.
6. They have huge emotional problems which are easily concealed when they are not face to face with someone.
7. They have huge emotional problems which are only apparent after getting to know them for a few weeks...which is why they can't find a partner in their pool of friends.
8. They have some sort of ridiculously bad life issue that all of their friends know about, but strangers would not, but which would be a "deal-killer" for most of us. (I will also put that they might be married to someone and hiding that on a dating site, which I've unfortunately heard tell of in more than one of my clients' recounting of a bad dating site experience.)
9. They are badly socialized in some way.
10. Other (something bad, probably).

Now, of all of the above, only the first one is acceptable, really, when looking for a partner. ;) And, to be fair, this is a percentage of people who use these sites and apps - people who are not really super abnormal freaks. However, if you look at the rest of the reasons, more than one is pretty fucking scary and bad, others are "Well, if so-and-so and I were super close anyhow, maybe I'd date them" (but you're not close, this is a stranger) which probably means the largest percentage of users of these sites and apps are to be avoided.

So, - at least as I see it - when you use these sites/apps, you're basically inviting a large amount of people who are probably not good choices to choose you. You're inviting disaster.

But to add insult to that injury, from Erika's tale, you're also chancing that these folks might find out your personal info, and start contacting you via social media without your permission. In fact, some people leave phone numbers on social media. Imagine being a pretty attractive person (which she is,) leaving your number up where people desperate for attention or affection (I'm not saying she left her number up, just saying what if,) can get to it, all the while thinking you're available. Holy crap, talk about baiting your hook for stalkers. :P

Now, as someone who counsels people on relationships frequently, I assure you that my experience (even if vicariously through my clients and some friends, since I'm not the type of person who ever felt at all interested in using the internet to get dates from people I wouldn't know otherwise,) has been that dating site relationships tend to be very tenuous, and often one partner will engage a new partner on the dating site before leaving the last. It's sort of like a vending machine to some people. They get a bit bored with one, and go back and find a new one, assuming (probably not too wrongly,) that there is an unlimited supply of hopefuls. Or they find the person has huge and scary abandonment issues, socialization issues, stalking issues, or other emotional issues. Or the date that shows up is 20 years older than their profile picture. Or they just get solicited for sex.

This is unfortunate, but the price one pays for using the internet to get dates. :/ Don't get me wrong, I love the internet, but it's sort of like a scary dark corner at a carnival - sure you might find some awesome thing, but you're just as likely to get knifed by a carny if you're not careful...and when you use dating sites, you're doing the equivalent of getting fall-down drunk and taping $1000 bills to your head, and going in that scary dark corner with a carny, and then complaining you got knifed. :/

For every "success" story from dating sites that I've heard (which is now, after about ~15 years of hearing stories about them, and amounts to a grand total of FIVE out of at least a thousand,) there are far too many horrific stories (which the truly-horrifying must be at least a half of them,) and several incredibly disappointing or just mildly disturbing stories that often skew the person attempting to use these sites and apps emotional well-being for some time to come (a good percentage.)

So, my dear ones, as many of you come to me looking for love, I will pass on the advice to only use dating sites/apps or date people who use them at your own risk, and I mean a real risk. If you'd stand on a busy street corner in the city with a sign around your neck that says "Please date me and maybe love me," (and some folks would totally be cool with that,) then you should try dating sites and apps, but if that sounds like a bad idea to you, maybe you should avoid that route. Statistically speaking, the vast majority of successful relationships spring from people who you meet through shared friends. If you're willing to take the risk of showing vulnerability and hopefulness in a den of folks where there are guaranteed to be a sizeable percentage predatory and mentally unstable people (and moreso than would be in the general population, because predators are attracted to places there is a good selection of prey,) then, by all means, take your chances using dating sites and apps.

There will be no open comments on this article. I don't want to hear your defensive argument how you're not a bad person or are the exception to everything I wrote (so don't email it either.) I'm sure you're the unicorn I spoke of earlier, and that's fine. Most of us aren't unicorns, and that's why I always tell friends and clients alike to avoid dating sites and apps at all costs.

~Cat

7/28/14 Also, it ends up OK Cupid uses it's users as guinea pigs. Not surprisingly, their experiements have shown that "matching people" works as well as intentionally mismatching them, and that while dating site users use looks to choose mates, it ends up having little to do with real compatibility. Well, if you use dating sites, I'm sure you appreciate them using you as a guinea pig. :P Feel free to click the link. Or this one with the same story. So there's reason number ten million to not use dating sites. ;)

Mama Cat's Pearls of Wisdom #30

Hi Occulties,

Many of you ask me why it is that you didn't think of doing x spell before y event happened...well, since that's a questions with as many answers to it as there are people asking it, I can't help you there.

What I can help you with is the following bit of advice...and some rambling on, too. ;) Basically, the problem you're running into is that you're not prepared. It's like if you find out that have 4 months until your school reunion when you find out about said reunion, don't get angry that you aren't getting results on your weight/flabbiness problem when dieting and working out for only 2 weeks before your reunion. ;) Giant bill you have to pay in 2 months? Better save up for it for those 2 months rather than complain two days before it's due that you forgot to save. :P OR maybe if you regularly saved your money, and worked out on a regular basis, neither would require you to do anything that isn't something you do all the time as is. :P

And the same can be said with spellwork. I've heard RO talk about "Kingdom Maintenance" and there really is something to that phrase. This means you're working some love mojo or protection mojo or some money mojo even when you don't need this stuff. Why? Because you WILL need this stuff. It's so much easier to keep things on an even keel than it is to throw all the spells you can think of and the kitchen sink at something when it goes tits up.

Want to attract people to you and be charismatic? Do attraction work on yourself regularly. Want to always have a bit of extra money? Do a money spell once a month at least. Worried about your interfering in laws? Do some protective work on your marriage regularly. Want to keep business steady at your small business? Do work on a regular basis to attract customers. And when (and if) you do hit a snag, you won't suddenly find yourself in such an emergency. If you're already doing well business-wise, one bad month of business will be a lot easier to deal with than if you were not doing so well before the bad month, for example. If your mother in law suddenly decides she hates you and wants your husband to hate you, too, you're already protected to some degree by the work you have put on your marriage.

Being prepared can mean using regular spellcraft to keep your life at it's best possible place. Doing something as simple as setting seven day lights in a non-emergency situation (perhaps you'd just like extra money, extra success, etc,) and doing this on a regular basis will make it much easier to correct the larger problems that arise in life when they arise.

Hope that makes some sense to you all,

~Cat

Mama Cat's Pearls of Wisdom #29

While it would behoove more than one of my clients to stop lying to me that they "really really" aren't thinking the work I've done down to death (add in other BS, swearing on the Bible, and more BS, which usually comes with the "I haven't thought about it," excuse makers' usual diatribe,) the thing is...I've done this job around a decade now, and I've cast spells well-more than 2x as long as that...and I can smell a lie like a fart in a car. They are filthy sick with thinking things to death. :P Maybe you are, too.

And lying to me is idiotic when it comes to this, but when it comes to yourself, I start to wonder "Are all these people telling themselves they are letting this go?" Certainly, only someone 3 points shy of lacking the intelligence to be able to communicate with other human beings lies to me (a psychic,) about "totally not having" lust for results, right? So maybe many of you are lying to yourselves.

If you are lying to yourself about your lust for results, it makes me feel better about you...because for last week and this week (and perhaps the week before,) several people lied right through their pretty teeth to me about not thinking their work to death. :P

I've outlined what this is here, but allow me to briefly cover it for people who are too lazy to click a link (sadly, several of them exist.)

Basically, if you're sitting there wondering how this all will come together with that spell working on your behalf, and trying to theorize how it will, then you're thinking it to death.

If you're worrying things won't work, and thinking of all the problems it will have to conquer to manifest, and that spell is active? You're thinking it to death.

If you're asking yourself why does your ex love so-and-so and not you anymore, you're thinking it to death.

If you're asking all your friends what your spell target is doing and how he or she feels, and what's going on in their life, you're being a complete knob (anything you say about someone generally gets back to that person, often after being twisted into something far worse than it ever was when you said it, as any adult knows,) AND you're totally not letting that spellwork or situation go...a form of lust for results/thinking it to death.

Spying on someone you cast a spell on via facebook? Or perhaps another site where you can get info on them? If you did that one singular time a month for literally 2 seconds, I'd say "fine, do it if it will stop making you think your spellwork unto death," but honestly 99.9% of the time, people who do that are filthy sick with lust for results and thinking it to death.

Really stalking someone? You need therapy. Don't even get spells. Sit your butt right down in a shrink's chair. No spell will work for you, and you need professional psychiatric care.

Analyzing how and why the spell could work? Trying to gauge when it will work? What time of day? What time it will happen? What will happen? What is the reason for it happening? All thinking it to death.

Worrying about the situation? That's thinking it to death. Scaring yourself with how long it might take or what could go wrong? Thinking it to death.

What can you do? Stop thinking about it. Stop worrying about it. If you find watching TV or listening to music makes you think about the situation, then read a book. Even better - READ THIS ARTICLE. It's really good for making you stop having those lust for results. :P

Those of you with reconciliation issues might also take a gander at this.

Those of you who didn't need this reminder, I apologize. Sometime in the last 3 years or so, some incredibly lazy people who can't read the archives, can't navigate the blog for themselves, and definitely can't follow any posted directions have migrated into my rant room. While I hate to humor types like that whatsoever, if I don't humor them just a little bit, they clog up my inbox with their bad behaviors. ;)

~Cat

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Mama Cat's Pearls of Wisdom #28

One of the larger mistakes I see (other than anxiety, fear, and just plain old beginner's clumsiness - which everyone has in the beginning, heh, -) is this really ridiculous notion that fast results are equivellant to the best results.

Now, don't get me wrong...if you're anxious to have what you want (anxiety is still a famous spell-killer, and slower-of-manifestation, so that alone is a problem,) like most people, you will be "chomping at the bit" to get what you want. That means really getting crazy to get what you want and quickly for the idiom-impaired. ;) While I do believe most of us can understand your sense of urgency, the problem is, usually, the urgency for the manifestation is not at all a reality except in your own mind.

If it's regarding an impending bill, a job interview, stopping attacks from an enemy, or a court case...well, then time may very well be of the essence. However I see this a lot with love, especially reconciliation. :P

You don't *NEED* your ex back tomorrow. And for some reason, people seem to take this "bring back my ex now" as a life or death thing. If it's not happening now, it's not happening ever, - or so their panicked and unsettled mind tells them so, despite that not really being the case.

You need to remember that if the problem is one of complexity (such as a break up,) it very well might require some time to return to the state of romantic bliss, especially if the problems which caused the seperation and break up were complicated, and took a long time to build up. It's far easier to forgive a one time instance of certain transgressions than it is to forgive someone for 2 years of feeling pushed and pressured and bossed. And if the "singular" transgression is bad enough (for example, you slept with your boyfriend's brother, and also his best friend,) then it's going to most-likely take a LOT of work to fix that mistake.

If you truly believe a horrific break up with lots of hurt is getting fixed in under 2 weeks, using only one spell, you're probably fooling yourself. Even if it does get back together, there is a much higher chance of instability of the manifestation. I had gone over this in my QYAM post where I discussed using St Expedite for love, but it would seem I've got a good deal of confuzzled people emailing me, acting as if they don't get the ex they chased down the street with an axe back with them by next week, their spell is "fake" or "not working." Nothing could be farther from the truth. The culprit for that spell not working is easy to find. Stand in front of a mirror. Look who's looking back at you - it's you! - and that's who's the cause of the spell failing if you think you'll get your ex back in a week, and get angry when you don't.

I've gone over it enough times in here that everyone else is bored of hearing it. ;)

Fast manifestion does not equal the strongest or best manifestation. Just like a severe illness, it might require a lengthy treatment to "cure" the problem. If all you want is a fast manifestation, there is a stronger chance that your own impatience will be you and your spell's undoing.

~Cat

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