Cat's Rants - Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Things Experienced Spellcasters Don't Seem to Discuss

Hey occulties,

It seems to me that as many. of my peers and I become older, there is a section that wants to behave like these sage old hippie types...which I guess is predictable but always comes off as a bit douchey to me, which the amusing part is not a single one of them were ever cool and tend to be the extra nerdy ones of our youth - the airy fairy nonsense ones (many of which were the hippie type people in youth), and then the ones like me who are the cranky old ones that say "you damn kids," a bit too much and are sick of repeating ourselves, damnit. Thing is, out of that group, the people who don't just want to blow sunshine and encouragement up your ass are often the people who are also most able to teach you since the first group is putting on something of an act, and the second is composed of some very air headed people. So, while I hate repeating myself, I do like pointing out shitty things that other people won't and I can therefore be of some use at educating you today. 

Like, did you know that...

People often fail at learning spellcasting because it takes a lot of practice and dedication and research in a field where publishers have knowingly published completely fabricated books based on absolutely no tradition or with false history. This means there is an actual point in your spellcasting education where you realize that at least half of what you learned from varying sources is complete bullshit. This is, in fact, a huge milestone and means you're starting to be advanced skill level. To make this even more irritating, almost everyone around you continues to be absolutely ridiculously and willfully ignorant (or at least it feels that way.) So basically you spend years learning and reading and educating yourself, only for a large portion of that to be entirely false, and when the epiphany hits you WILL find yourself disgusted with people and yourself, but that's a good thing, because now you aren't an idiot...but it doesn't feel good. I actually get excited when students and readers come to me and they've had this moment, and they are so disappointed and I' like "Aw, you broke your cherry!" However, when people learn this (should they do so before they reach this point,) some get frustrated and give up on learning at all. And it takes years to be good at it. Not you read a book once, or cast a few spells. I mean years of regular practice. THEN you hit that point where you realize a bunch of what you learned was absolute garbage. 

People who are bargain shopping for spells more often than not are going to fail at achieving their goals. It's surprising how many people have told me that the person they love most in the world isn't worth even $100, or that getting passing marks on a difficult course is not worth that amount either. I understand not wanting to invest money but if you can only part with $30 for the thing you want most in the world, then you don't want it very much and the most like to take the money and run are often the too low priced or the ridiculously super high priced. If its going to cost tens of thousands of dollars, that person also just wants your money. 

Love spells do not change someone's personality. If you complain that someone loves you but doesn't love you in the way you want to be loved, you need to understand that this means they are never going to love you how you need to be loved. Of course, you're equating the way you love people and understand love as being as how everyone works and this is very untrue. For example, I find a lot of physical affection and frequent cuddling absolutely awful. It makes me claustrophobic. No amount of spellwork you put on me will make me suddenly love cuddling for the rest of my life, and if you need a lot of that, I'd be a terrible match for you, and not for a lack of love but because I do not like being cuddly and I resent it and feel smothered if it's done a lot. So consider things like communication, physical affection, religious/political beliefs, taste in food, taste in clothing, etc...little things that can still irritate you, and if that person is not naturally inclined to any one of these little things you need, then just using a love spell will make them love you more, not do things like suddenly not be a slob, or suddenly really love exercise.

You won't be successful with money spells if you expect a windfall of money. It's hugely unlikely. People really think if they spend $20 that they will get some huge lottery win, when first off, that's a gambling spell, and secondly, if you spend $3 on a ticket and make $21 on that particular ticket (I didn't mean $3 total, just per ticket,) you already got 7x return on your investment which is a pretty big windfall for your investment. :P So maybe go with doing some job spells and getting paid more. But everyone thinks it's a get rich quick scheme. 

Being a good person doesn't make your spellwork stronger, nor does being a bad person make it weaker. Being a selfish asshat doesn't make you bad at spells. Being a complete cunt won't prevent success unless you're being a cunt to a reconciliation or love target, or telling off the interviewer for the job you cast a spell for. Your niceness and your ethics do not negate skill and intellect. This is the most stupid idea ever that they do and is only said to reassure people that others would never use magic for foul purposes...which people will use whatever tools are available to them that they can use, and their ability to wield these tools has zero to do with their ethics, so of course they will use spellwork to do bad or good or just whatever they need it for. 

If you're desperate or petulant, you're probably going to experience spell failure thanks to lust for results. The sad thing is, the more you fail, the more desperate and whiny and anxious you'll become which merely serves to elevate the likelihood for failure. This is why I tell people to cast a spell for something you don't care that much about - you'll forget you did it and then when it manifests, it will spring to mind that you'd spellcasted for that and it will help with this lack of faith and desperation and anxious and morose attitude that is death to spells, thereby increasing your chances of success. If you know the exact amount of weeks or days since you cast the spell and it was over 2 weeks ago, you definitely have lust for results.

The annoying "is this permanent" question fails to understand life is evolving all the time. So even if you overcome your problem with spellwork, it doesn't permanently prevent the problem from becoming a problem again, and if you keep making the same mistakes, it likely will be a problem again.v That isn't the spell's fault. It's yours.

Spells don't care if you didn't mean to do something or did something in a moment of weakness anymore than a falling boulder cares that you didn't mean to walk under it just at the exact time for it to fall on you. Stop making excuses to yourself and/or your caster since it doesn't matter how you felt or why you did something, just that you did something that would harm your spell. 

Even the best and most perfectly made tool or spellcasting item won't overcome inexperience or inability to cast spells. 

If you expect spells to fix anything in under 36 hours you should probably neither attempt to hire a worker nor learn spellcasting. Results are rarely instant. 

There, now that I've done my job bursting some bubbles, I hope it was at least educational. 

~Cat

 

 

Making Things Work with More Useful Solutions

Hey Occulties, 

Remember the time (well some of you,) when you asked me for a "dream spell" or a "wish spell" and you saw me visibly cringe? Apparently it's some planetary transit wherein that sort of thing is common again (I'll have to check out what is doing what, because this sort of thing does come in waves,) so in the hopes of making many more effective spellcasters rather than promoting relatively unuseful practices, let's do some review. 

"Why do you think 'wish spells,' are stupid, Cat? Everyone wants a wish to come true!" In the words of my generation, "Well, duh," but of course, if you are doing magic, you probably should try actually using spells that are targeted towards your goal. Using some generic "wish spell," sounds pretty suspect, and I think you may have been watching too many children's movies about wizarding schools if you think you need a "wish spell." 

Before you cry and stamp your feet at my audacity in saying that, let's examine some common wishes that aren't completely ridiculous wishes like wanting to be shrunk to two inches high or wanting to be transported into the 15th century to ask a dead relative if they think you're hot. So since you consider yourself to be a very balanced person you wouldn't ask for anything that is very improbable of ever happening, right? Instead your wish would be to marry your ex and be gloriously happy. OK, so that's not an uncommon thing for me to have requested, but why would a wish spell, as opposed to something like a reconciliation spell, love drawing work, commitment work, probably some communication work...then you might need to protect the relationship from outside influences... I'm sure I'm leaving out some stuff, but why would you want a wish spell instead? Is it because a "wish spell" sounds easier and you think a magical djinn gonna pop out and nod it's head and your wish is granted? Because you're probably just going to be suckered into getting a wish spell or performing one because it SOUNDS SO SIMPLE, but for any spell to cause such a complete and amazing change, it would have to be profoundly powerful (more powerful than any spell cast by any spellcaster I've ever seen, or even known to have historically exist) made even more impressive by the fact that all wishes of any kind would be granted by this very spell, so the ingredients must truly be ones I have never used or have known were useful as so. 

I see that sour face on you. Basically, wish spells, so far as I have seen, are more or less fake. They just aren't real. Now I'm sure there is something that might qualify as a wish spell but your wishes would have to be a bit less grandiose. Like you might say "Well I want to win a prize - any sized prize - playing lotto, and while you'd actually do better doing a gambling spell insofar as prizes, a bet a "wish spell" would cover that and you might even win $10 or something.

Then comes the question of "Why are you always such a dick about dream spells! Dream spells are cool! Like you could totally use them to convince a target to do a thing!" 

And you'd be right that they exist, and that they are not without purpose on the odd occasion, except that most people do view dreams (assuming they remember them,) as the brain entertaining itself while the body repairs itself and not as being something of any value. You forget a fair amount of people forget their dreams nearly instantly upon waking. Even me, who has the prophetic dream from time to time, places only very small value on 99.9% of dreams...and you may be (not saying you are, saying it's possible) projecting your own beliefs on dreams onto another. Like people who ask me for this stuff tend to place a heavy value on the meanings of their dreams, and just assume most people do. In fact the best use of dream work, in my personal opinion, is to cause sleeplessness and stress, or to use to sort of lull someone into compliance (one using nightmares, the other using reassuring happy dreams,) and not about directly convincing them, nor for rapid results. 

Of course let's not forget, there is a whole army of people out there who want a spell and they don't know how to put into words what they want spellwise, so maybe they are just using unhelpful terms. So let's break this down into some easy steps.

First, think about what it is you want. Now place it under one of the following categories: Love/Friendship, Money, Business or Schoolastic Success, Court Case Work, Gambling, Avoiding Detection, Retribution/Justice, Cursing/Harming, Blessing/Protection, Cleansing (removal) or Reversing of Spiritual Work or Spiritual Conditions, Fertility, Health, Obstacle Removal, Control or Domination or other. Now if it's other, just hold on, and still read through the rest. Keep in mind that reconciliation and marriage would be love spells, and breaking people up is cursing. 

Second (and if you saw a missing broad topic above, lmk,) now that you have an idea of what type of spell it is, now make a subtype. So above I say how reconciliation is a love spell. So you want your ex back, means you want a love spell, which is for reconciliation. Maybe you want to attract a new love, which would be a love attraction spell. For the sake of brevity, I will let you pick what subtype it is by just suggesting you define the underlying desire of the spell. 

Third, now that you have those 2 facts in mind, try searching. Like do I want to make more money? More sales in particular? Then I might try "spell to make more sales" Clear off the ads. Literally I want you to check and see if this is an actual thing (it is.) Now, you will see "dream spells," "Luck spells," and "weight loss spells" and all sorts of things which technically aren't anything I'd recommend, but by actually trying to get an idea of what it is you want, you're already doing better. Once you realize there are spells for almost every need, you can be a bit more direct and avoid too many common bullshit tropes.

Because I commonly get this stinker of a question: "I like want a love spell. What kind of love spell? I dunno, what kinds are there? What do you mean like 100 subtypes. Oh, I mean I want my ex to come back." So, that's reconciliation. See now if you followed the above steps first, you'd already know that. If you said you wanted a "wish spell" my question would literally be (I'm sure this is verbatim on what I'd say, too) "what is your wish exactly?" Then, since you just wanted your ex back, I'd tell you the effective spell in that case would be a reconciliation spell. See how easy this is?

Since this just so happens to be something I review about once a year and I was getting a lot of "dream spells" and "wish spells" type requests, thank you for reading my long winded bit of advice on the topic. :D

~Cat

Why isn't this working? answered

Hey everyone, 

I wrote you a lovely questions you've asked me article which apparently has disappeared. I have no idea where it went, so that's 2 or so hours of my life that just went missing. Grrr...

So, since it is missing, I'll expand on my first question and answer on that now missing article as it seems some people don't understand something so I do get this sort of inquiry a lot... It goes a bit like: "Cat, I have this issue, and practitioner A got some movement on it for me, but not the full desired results. Then about 2 weeks later I hired practitioner B who also got some movement on it, and yet still not the full desired results, and so is it that I have an impossible problem, or was I 'scammed'? Who's fault is it that the spells 'aren't working?"

The answer seems to surprise a fair amount of people, but a lot of the time if you're asking me this, you are the one at fault. BUT, let's take a second and ask is this problem impossible? Alright, did you ask someone to turn you into a werewolf? Ask if they could shrink you to two inches high? Ask to be turned into a toad? If that all sounds ridiculous, people do sometimes ask for such things. If you asked for a lottery win, to be married to a movie star, or to get a job you are in no way qualified to have (for example, you couldn't pass algebra class and barely graduated high school but want to be a rocket scientist,) then let's say all of that is because you have an unrealistic idea of spells and what they can do, so the request itself is the problem. 

HOWEVER, most of you really don't seem clueless there, so the next step is we ask does this problem, on the surface SEEM realistic enough? Do you want your ex back? Do you want a job you are at least mostly qualified for? Do you want your long term partner to marry you, or for your nasty neighbor who keeps making his dog poop in your yard to move away? Do you want more sales at your small business or to get your misbehaving cousin to stop stealing bikes and being a petty crook? All this stuff is normal enough requests for spells. So, when we can gauge that yes it does, we move on and look at the issue being worked on and ask "okay but IS THIS so simple?" Of course, it generally is not so very simple, and sometimes surprisingly large details are left out of the description. This one person who wants their ex to call doesn't add that their ex has a restraining order against them and has changed his or her number and contact details seventeen times in a bid to avoid them. This person who wants a job at this company doesn't add in that they live nowhere near that company and that while they are qualified that the job requires a great deal of people to refer them and support them to break into working in that particular company (for example, a job in the entertainment industry.) The person who wants their long term partner to marry them didn't mention the person is a mega-commitmentphobe that they broke up with about three years ago. The nasty neighbor with the dog pooping in their land just so happens to be the mayor of their town who basically runs the entire city council. Their small business doesn't advertise and is only open 2 days a week and relies on a low traffic area unappealing store and only takes business out of the store. That misbehaving cousin is stealing bikes and being a petty criminal because of a massive drug issue which requires a long stint in rehab the client can't pay for and the state won't help with. 

Now some of that, to be fair, is still quite fixable, but the client having been dishonest or misleading might make someone apply spellwork that would not suit the situation as well as it could. Furthermore, many of those issues are going to require a few spells, because they are HUGE issues that can't be solved with a tiny spell. So, if you want to marry that long term partner who hasn't been your partner in many years, you do not want a marriage spell but instead would need to step way back and get a reconciliation spell, which you would them want to have a working relationship with them for a time before considering marriage for example. 

Because I have noticed that when people complain of "partial results," because their problem is "unfixiable" as the problem returns or the results seem transient, a lot of the time, the real issue is one of two things - either they are undertreating the problem with too little spellwork, OR they are addressing part of the problem which is itself merely a symptom of a larger problem. So if you have a massive issue with business because your store is in an undesirable location, and is only open 2 days a week, the problem is probably that you need to move to a better location, at which you keep your shop open for more hours. Just throwing business drawing spells at it won't help so much, especially without improved hours. You are, in that example, drawing opportunity to knock at the door, and then repeatedly ignoring its proverbial knocking. Instead, one might try to accumulate money to move the store to a better location, or, depending on the type of thing being sold, to offer better hours online so as to allow more customers the ability to find the store and make purchases. 

With love, the most common offender after undertreating the issue goes a bit like this: "I brought so and so back, and they were nice for a time, but went back to being a jerk." See, the problem there is much like a rash might go away and come back over and over, their leaving you over and over because they are acting churlish is that you love someone who a jerk. Well, after some examination it comes to light that the problem is the target has a personality disorder is just a jerk. Much like if you paint a red bird blue (please don't paint living creatures) the poor little bird will eventually molt out the painted feathers and return to being a red bird, so will a jerk eventually return to it's natural status of being a jerk. You did have a working spell, but you are asking a proverbial red bird to turn blue and it will always be a red bird, just like that person will always be a jerk. Just because a jerk loves you, it doesn't make them not a jerk...so the spell worked fine, it just couldn't change what the person is. 

In all my years of working for myself and others, MOST (as in 99%) of "unfixable" problems were either that someone refused to break a huge problem into smaller steps, had unrealistic expectations, or refused to address the real problem and continually complained that symptoms of said real problem WERE the problem, not the thing which caused said symptoms. So...most likely this is going to be the answer to you if you complain the problem is unfixable, and you're not asking for something which is clearly ridiculous like wanting to be a fire breathing dragon or to have magical powers which make you fly on a broom.

Now could it be the person you hired? In the above question the person stipulates a wait of 2 weeks. Honestly, spells can take longer than 2 weeks to work, so that isn't the practitioner's fault if you expect overnight results, though if they promised overnight results, that might be a red flag. But, it's fair to say that many practitioners excel at certain types of magic (business and success, or hexing or healing, or love, etc,) whereas some are jacks of all trades but masters of none. Still, the person inquiring does stipulate they hired not one but two practitioners and did experience results in each case, so the most likely problem is...

The petitioner. Look, I hate to say this because it's so upsetting to several people, all who honestly believe they are doing nothing to harm their spellwork, but even yours truly has been my own worst enemy, so I can say with some authority it's pretty common to be the reason your spell isn't manifesting as fast or as well as you'd like it to. Are you obsessing about the situation or people involved frequently, or do you keep the whole matter as far out of your mind as possible. For example, are you thinking about what color socks I'm wearing right now? Well, now you are, of course, but is this something you thought about yesterday, several times a day? No? Didn't occur to you to think of it? If at all possible that would be how much you'd think about the spell, the situation being spellcast upon, and the people involved. Of course, life is often not so convenient. If you are working on your partner and you live with them, it's nearly impossible not to thinking of them AT ALL, so realistically, you just need to keep your mind off of the situation as much as possible, and do not dwell on. Next be PATIENT. Spells do not often manifest overnight. The amount of people who have come to me to tell me they got what they wanted basically the moment they gave up on it because they prolonged the manifestation phase through lust for results isn't small. 

So, what have we learned? You need to keep expectations realistic, that big problems sometimes require multiple steps, that sometimes "The problem" is actually a symptom of the real problem and until you address the real problem, the "symptom" keeps returning, that sometimes the problem is you asked your practitioner to work on an area outside their expertise, and that lust for results is still in the champion number one spot for being the cause of spell failure. 

Hopefully that was educational! :)

~Cat

To Get Someone to Call/Reach Out

Hey Occulties,

I know this is probably one of the few times anyone envies me for having a massive surplus of naturally shed parrot feathers but these are available in many crafting stores and online. The easiest call me charm I know goes like this:

You will need
A large parrot feather (wing or tail, usually, DO NOT PLUCK A LIVING BIRD, these are naturally molted twice a year,)
Blue thread
Orange thread
An image of the target (small preferably)
A light blue or orange-inked marker or pen

Take the image of your target and across the face of the image write "(Name of target) contact (your name) immediately!" Now, taking the ends of each spool of thread wrap both the orange and blue threads around the image and the parrot feather to bind them together. People ask what I mean when I say "make a cocoon," and comparatively, it's a bit like rolling a ball of yarn out of a skein if that's helpful, but you wrap both threads around this image and the feather, slowly, wrapping towards you as you repeat, "(Name of target,) contact me immediately, right now, this very instant! The more you try to resist contacting me, the stronger the desire to contact me becomes," while you envision the target contacting you, and just repeat this over and over. As you come to the end of the spools of thread, make a knot to fasten it (you can stop repeating the chant for a moment as you do so,) and then tie it so you have made a little loop at the end. While the target should contact you within 24 hours just by creating this device*, save it, and when you want them to make contact again, placing the loop on your index finger of your writing hand, spin the ball clockwise as you repeat 9 times "(name of target) contact (your name)) immediately!" And again, doing this should make them reach out within 9 hours. 

This will only work if 1. The target knows you well, and 2.) They know your contact details. It will not work on a movie star or someone who knows little to nothing about you. 

~Cat

*If your target does not contact you within three days, remake the item. 

 

****I recently reposted this on Reddit, and, from the response of a person, apparently someone inferred (when it was no way implied) that some damage be done to the parrot who's feathers are being used....it's either that or they are a level 2000 vegan and the mere mention of animals in any way being discussed in any do-it-yourself instructions causes a blind rage which stops brain activity to the point of lacking any reading comprehension, - then asked me something bizarre about how are they not protected by the migratory bird act. Well, for starters, most parrots are not at all native to North America, then moving forward, I in no way suggested nor would I endorse you murdering a parrot to get some feathers. I LITERALLY SUGGEST USING NATURALLY MOLTED FEATHERS. So, if your panties got bunched up reading this, please understand many parrot owners actually sell naturally-molted, cruelty-free parrot feathers for crafting purposes. I assure you, as a parrot owner, they drop feathers at least twice a year so new ones can come in, and one of my cockatiels is often 3x a year. Since those feathers fall out as a natural and expected process (molting,) no birdie needs to be harmed. 

I can't illustrate how unfathomably stupid someone would have to be to think I would endorse harming a parrot, seeing as I obviously love them too much and have 3, but I am not particularly surprised, just disappointed that anyone would read into what I wrote and think to chastise me as such.

But since this same person asked were they necessary to be used in this, the answer is yes, and if you don't like it, even though it in no way requires any bit of cruelty, then go find some other spell and stop pretending to yourself that using a naturally molted feather is harmful to the bird because it just makes you look foolish.

If you want to complain about endangered bird feathers being used, I can guarantee you that you should be able to get feathers from most (however definitely not all) parrot species which have been domesticated without legal reprecussions. 

Hopefully that clarifies it for anyone else.

Simple Spell to Calm and Sweeten a Person Towards You

Hey there Occulties, 

Just. what you needed during this Mars retrograde - an easy simple spell to calm someone down and make them more sweet! Remember, of course, spells are not insurance against bad or unhelpful behaviors. If you are behaving negatively or unkindly or inciting arguments and/or upsets, your target will still react and get angry and/or defensive. You need to use this work in conjunction with being on your best behavior. FURTHERMORE, while I've been over this MULTIPLE TIMES on this blog, apologizing repeatedly or begging forgiveness is desperate, annoying, and will get you into a worse position, so please do not couple this spell with that sort of behavior. 

Alright, now that we have given the advisories to those deeply in need of them, for the rest of us, this spell works very nicely when things have been a bit curt between you and another and they seem absolutely intent on stirring up fights and being defensive. I prefer working this as a jar spell, so I'll start with that and move on to the non-jar version for those of you who do not like jar spells. 

Jar-Spell Version 
You will need:
A medium-sized glass jar (old salsa jars are great for this) with a metal lid. 
Corn Syrup (Karo) or Honey
Sugar
Poppy seed
Lavender
White Rose petal
Tranquility or Peace Oil (currently if you go to SeraphinStation.com for your condition oils, Miss Karma will be glad to get you all set up with premium Hoodoo condition oils)
Reconciliation oil
Olive leaves or a small piece of olive branch*
A lock of your hair tied in a knot with a lock of the target's hair**
Light blue chime candles 

Putting together the jar:
This is best done on a Monday, during the first quarter moon, especially when the moon is in Cancer. Add in your hair knot, about a half cup of sugar, a tablespoon or so of poppy seeds, a tablespoon or so of lavender buds, a tablespoon or so of white rose petals, and about ten olive leaves or about a half tablespoon of olive twigs. If you do not have olive leaves or twigs just skip that part and add 2-3 drops of olive oil to your condition oils later on. Pour in your honey or Karo to fill the jar and seal this tightly with your jar lid. Hold your jar in your hands and envision peace and tranquility and harmony between you and your target. Try to send this intention into your jar. If you do not feel that you can send energy, just sit keeping this image in your minds eye for awhile to help empower the jar. When the jar feels "full" (or when you've meditated on your desired outcome for a few minutes while holding it,) shake it as you repeat SEVEN TIMES the following sentence, "(Targets name,) let there be only peace and kindness between us," and after the seventh time you say this, say "As is my will, so be it!"

Place the jar on your altar (or whichever space you have designated to use,) and anoint a light blue candle with Tranquility and Reconciliation oil (and your olive oil, if needs be) using seven pulls UP (base to wick) to anoint the candle. Light the candle and secure it to the lid of your jar with the drippings. This part is generally ad libbed, meaning you would speak from the heart, and command peace be between you and that the target calms and is receptive to this, but as I know many of my readers might fumble there, having little to no practice in proper speech in a spellcasting you, might use the following: "(Target's full name,) we are now at peace and avoid all argument, and all contention and only forgiveness and sweetness flows between us. Let us heal and return to love and kindness, as is my will, so be it!" Allow the candle to burn out, and clear off any wax drippings once it has. A candle should be burned on this jar every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until the target has calmed down and you feel there is no longer any animosity between you and them.

Candle-Spell Version
You will need
A light blue candle
Sugar
Poppy seed
Lavender
White Rose petal 
Olive leaves or branch*
A lock of hair tied in a knot with the targets hair**
Tranquility oil
Reconciliation oil
A scrap of paper with all edges torn - not ripped - off
A green- or blue- inked pen
A pie plate or cake tin or similar fire proof container
Sand

This spell is best worked on a Monday in the first quarter of the moon, especially when the moon is in Cancer. 

Fill your pie plate or cake tin with sand. Place this on your altar.

Start by inscribing your name paper using your green-inked (or blue-inked) pen as so - write the target's name out 7 times, so in this example we will use Jason Momoa because I'm not fighting with him but he's hot so... I would write it like this 
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa

Then turn this so that these names are running vertically and write your or the petitioner's name across these in the same fashion horizontally seven times, so that it forms a sort of grid (If you're curious it looks a bit like this but your or the petitioner's name would replace "command"):

Now write, in a circle around the names, (it's okay if it's not a perfect round circle) "peace between us" repeating this as many times as needed to make a circle. Now spit in the center of your paper, add your hair knot and sprinkle a little of your herbs and sugar into the center of the paper, then fold in half once towards you, turn the paper and fold it once more TOWARDS you to quarter the paper. 

Now set this under your dish of sand.

Anoint your candle with seven pulls up (base to wick) of using your oils (add olive oil if needed) and hold the candle for a few moments envisioning you and your target (or the petitioner and target) happy, and at peace with each other. Try to send this image into the candle. If you do not feel you can send energy, just hold the anointed candle and picture this for a few moments. Now sprinkle some of your herb/sugar mixture on to the candle to coat it. What I do which is easier for me, is I use old scrap paper and place the herbs on it and roll the candle in it. You can as well. Place the candle into the sand so that it won't tip over. 

Light the candle, and keeping the image of yourself and the target (or the petitioner and target) at peace with each other in your mind's eye, say "(Target's Full name) I bring peace and kindness between you and (Name of petitioner,) and drive from you any animosity or anger. From this moment forward you shall be sweet towards them. From this moment forward you seek only to be at peace. I drive conflict away. I drive anger away. Only love and only peace between (target) and (petitioner,) as is my will, so be it!" Allow the candle to burn out. When it has, take the name paper and hide it somewhere near the front entry to your home. If you live in an apartment this is the door that enters to your apartment, not the hallway to your apartment. 

I'm sure there will be questions so you can find me at the usual place. :)

~Cat

PS- Kindly check spam for reply and remember, it can take up to five business days to get a reply!


*I have, in a real pinch, poured a bit of olive oil in, but felt it didn't do anything. So, the next time, still suffering from lack of olive leaves and/or branch, I tried putting a few drops of olive oil on the candles with the other oils and it worked better, but I still feel the superior version is working this with the olive leaves in the jar. 

**I get very annoyed by being whined to that this person doesn't have hair any length you can get a lock of it. Look, as a person who has been capable of getting a beard whisker left in my sink and tying it in a knot with some of my hair using tweezers, you can guess about how much sympathy I have for such matters. So...I'm sure you can figure it out. Worst case scenario, tie your hair and and a used band aid with blood from your target together in a knot. The tedium of having to think up solutions for people who clearly never learned problem-solving skills for having grown up with a thing like Google being ever-present in their lives has finally gotten to me, and I think it's time some of you young-uns actually learned PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS rather than expecting someone else to give you a solution as if the internet suddenly fails one day, everyone 30 and under will be dead in a week if you don't learn said skills. So, no time like the present - if you email me asking for a substitution, please know, I'll just tell you to figure it out on your own - that is, if I reply at all to that question. Your brain needs exercise and unfortunately I can't warp you back 30 years ago to when you couldn't just get in contact with anyone instantly so you had to hope they might reply to your LETTER YOU SENT with your question - if they even get the letter at all - to answer your questions, so you only asked serious difficult questions if you contacted the person just because it was such a pain in the ass...but we were skinnier and our brains were superior and worked better so...it was better in many ways.

Reminder - The Outcome

Hey there my occulties,

So one of the more repetitive and annoying questions in my inbox is "how will this manifest?" And while I understand the desire to know that very answer as I've wondered it myself, the reality is that you will find that out when you get what you asked for, which is one of those annoying facts of doing magic. In fact you can blunt your results or even stop them from manifesting entirely by trying to insist on something manifesting in a particular fashion. 

So let's say I want someone to get fired from their job. Alright, so that's pretty straight forward. I have some enemy who I want to lose their job, and I've not specified how or why. But now, let's say I'm insistent that they lose their job for being incompetent at their job...except the thing is, they are not incompetent whatsoever, and are a very detail-oriented person with a perfectionism streak who is not known for making mistakes. Now I've made that spell much harder to manifest. If I didn't insist how or why the person lost their job, there are many many many reasons that they might. But if I insist in manifest in a particular fashion, this can create a need for a huge amount of energy for a particular action to happen. 

Or let's say I want my ex to come back, and then I list a few things that he must also feel or experience or do to come back to me.  This is also going to be a similar energy draining working and there's so many reasons it could fail instead of just "me and my ex get back together." 

So, when you ask me why is this happening or what does that happen, - and I've been in your shoes where I was like "what in the actual fuck is this? I didn't spellcast for this," only to have that very opposite seeming situation blossom into what I'd spellcasted for - I might give you some advice to just hang in there, or don't worry...because what is obsessive worrying? It's lust for results. And so I try to stop you from this as best as possible....more than one of you seem to get this, and like I said, I understand how upsetting it is when you have something seem to go backwards right before it manifests as you would like it to, which is why I try to remind you gently that there are any number of reasons that don't even have a thing to do with you or the spellwork which may have caused the situation, and that it can come through sometimes in odd ways....

But this is also why I might seem vague when you ask me how something might manifest, or if I seem a bit annoyed when you insist someone come back in a particular way. You can suggest how or why something happens, but when you do, you can mow down your success rates a great deal. Of course, you should request what you want, but remember, some particular aspects may be more difficult for you to manifest.

So let's go back to the example of me wanting someone to lose their job. I want this fictional victim to lose their job because of incompetence but stipulate nothing else. Well, alright, this is still doable, even if more difficult than just making them lose their job. Now I add in that I want everyone to know that it was because of their incompetence, (presumably everyone in the work place? Or is it like something comes out in the news?) Now I've made this even more hard to manifest. With every caveat added, I make it harder to manifest.

Back to wanting that ex back. Let's say I want him to think of me all of the time. OK, that's doable even though it might be unneeded depending on how the spell manifests and it might even be unhelpful (he may be very angry still and it may stall the manifestation,) and then I say I also want him to not even be able to think of other women...well, now he might need some sort of brain damage to 100% not think of any other woman on this planet (and I sure bet his mom isn't going to like that,) and then I say no matter what the cost I also want this man (who is fictional and I just made up, but is also a sworn bachelor for life,) to marry me. Well, now the only way this spell will manifest is brain damage. ;) See, the more we add, the harder it is to make it happen.

This is why I tell you when you're spellcasting for yourself, keep it simple. Be direct, be brief, cut off the excess you don't need. But when you're the petitioner and NOT the spellcaster, adding in ten thousand things or worrying about little trivial problems can be very similar. You're moving the energy all over the place with your worrying on the how and the why it's going to happen, trying to guess how it will, and the reality is we need to be direct, we need a clear goal in mind (so that the requested thing manifests in your life, not the path to that, just that the thing comes,) and then we need to let it happen to know how and why it did. I know it's hard to retain that focus when things feel like they are going in the opposite direction, but you may be surprised how quickly things start turning around and coming into what you want when you stop focusing so hard on the situation.

Hopefully that's some help. 

~Cat

The Sphere of Availability

Good Evening, Occulties,

I'm sure I've gone over this in here before, but having written this blog for almost 20 years, it no doubt deserves a review. 

Think about where you are sitting or standing this very moment. Imagine that, if you are sitting, that your butt is glued to this spot and you cant scoot or get up. If you are standing, imagine your feet are glued to the spot they are on, and will not move. Now, look at what is in reach of you, - what you can grab or access. I'm sure if you really tried, you could even get a bit father than you think from this one spot. So, this would be, were you really stuck, your physical sphere of availability, with you being stationary, and anywhere in. rough sphere being in your reach, being what is available to you. 

Of course, the etheric world has slightly different physics. So when we speak of the sphere of availability in a magical sense, we mean what you can expect magic to bring to you, within the confines of realistic expectation. I've said this before, but I always wanted to be a singer...however I do not have a melodic singing voice, and I'm tone deaf. Even if I trained my voice, I would be unremarkable at singing as physically, I am not graced with good vocal cords. I would also make a rotten basketball player, - I have very little interest in sports, poor to mediocre hand/eye coordination, and I'm really short. This isn't me being down on myself. If I decided to use magic to make myself an amazing singer or a professional basketball player, I'd be really trying to grab things which are far outside of my sphere of availability. However, I do have strengths... Let's say I decided I wanted to go back to being a graphic designer. I could likely do that with a single spell. This is very likely within my grasp....but I don't know that I could accomplish that without using spellwork - I've been absent from that world for quite some time.

So, let's go back to the example of being glued in place. Our material sphere of availability is only that which we can reach here. Similarly, without magic, we can usually grasp only things we expect or believe are within reach. This isn't to suggest you shouldn't take chances and try to get things you feel are out of reach, but merely to say that if I know I have all the proper talents and credentials to fill a particular job, I will be far more likely to apply for that job, and even get that job. If I've never learned anything about rocket science, I probably won't apply to NASA, and if I do, I will likely be rejected. People understand this. When we reach outside of what we KNOW we can receive we don't reach too far usually. I might have worked at a job so long that when the manager leaves, I feel I should be next in line for manager, for example, despite only having worked as a sales associate, and therefore apply for manager. I do not likely apply for a CEO position, or, if I do, there is a strong likelihood I won't get that position. 

Now most people get this. We understand reaching just a bit outside of what we know or trust that we can accomplish can bring us great rewards, but most of us do not reach so far outside of that where it is almost sure that we will fail. This would be similar to, in our "glued to the chair or floor" example to trying to reach over and touch a house two cities away from where we are to go that far outside of our sphere. No amount of belief would make this physically possible, or at least we all can agree, it's hugely improbable to the point of being mostly impossible. But what if I suggested you could grab an item which was thirty feet away from you. Now if you're glued to this spot, you'd say this is very much not possible, but with magic, we can reach farther than what is within our grasp. So now you can stretch a fair amount past what you might expect...if your expectations are realistic to begin with. So while you might, in our glued to the spot example, be able to reach 30 feet away even glued to that spot, you still aren't going to reach 2 cities away. So with spells, you might try to make more money by making more sales or getting a raise, vs unrealistically trying to win a lottery with odds so poor, you're more likely to be struck by lightning three times. 

In fact, if you are willing to take STEPS to get something you want (how dare I say such a thing in the age of instant gratification!?) you can reach well past your current sphere of availability's limits. The limits on our sphere of availability are static and can change and grow, but so many people want things so well outside of that sphere, that they believe magic will make someone without a high school degree into a famous surgeon tomorrow because they lit a candle once. This is not so. :P Magic could help you with the required tests, (you still will have to take them,) and help you through school but you still need the credentials and experience and it's not going to be one spell. :/ 

That aside, it's trying to reach just past what you comfortably are sure you will receive wherein the best successes are found. So don't limit yourself too much, just keep your expectations realistic. The more you work spells, the stronger you become at working spells and you will have far greater power to achieve goals which were once well outside of your ability and your sphere of availability. 

Hope that was educational. I will try to post a few new spell articles in the next few days, as I know I've been slacking on those kinds of posts lately. 

~Cat

 

Spell to Cool Anger in a Person

Good afternoon, Occulties,

So, as we all know, there is absolutely no reasoning with a person who’s all fired up and angry, right? Telling someone to calm down is about as effective as getting your cat to settle down by throwing a bucket of ice water on it. 

While giving someone some space, not insisting on having the last word (and the fastest way to get booted out of my virtual office is to always have a reply when you are already in trouble with me, and unsurprisingly that’s probably a big part of your target being angry if you’re that type, so some of you need to learn when to stop talking,) knowing how to apologize and avoiding groveling, bargaining, bad apologies,* OVER apologizing, or over explaining your side is key, this spell should work to calm the person down faster than they normally would calm down. If you really messed up, you will likely have to do something more like reconciliation work (and this can be used in conjunction with that kind of work,) but this works marvelously on targets that take forever to calm down once angered.

You will need:
A hair from the target’s head**
A white floating candle
Eucalyptus leaves
Spearmint leaves
Star Anise
A large metal bowl
A pot for boiling
Water
A strainer OR a tea ball
Peace oil or Peace Between Us oil or Tranquility oil
A nail, pin, or lancet 

Place about 1/8 cup each of spearmint, eucalyptus leaves, and star anise into a medium boiling pot - if you are using a tea ball, place them into a large tea ball then into the pot.) Yes your regular pots and pans are fine, except avoid using cast iron cookware. Pour in water to start it boiling. Once you reach a rolling boil, reduce the heat to simmering. Stir it SEVEN times, saying the following once per stir (a total of 7 times,) “(Name of target,) calm your mind, and calm your heart, this potion calms you down and quiets your anger.” Now cover this, allow it to boil at least five minutes without meddling with it, and then repeat stirring 7 times with saying the words seven times, then cover again. You will do this every five minutes (or longer if you choose to make the increments between longer,) until you have stirred and chanted a total of 49 times (7x7). Allow this to cool and strain off the herbal mixture, keeping the tea.

Heat the pin or nail or whatever metal poking implement you have and make a small hole in your floating candle, taking care not to push through. Stuff your witness sample (the hair,) into this hole and seal it with wax (I tend to have an extra “sealing” candle handy for this - just a junk candle I am not using for spellwork on its own, - but you may not,) and as you stuff they witness sample into the hole, you should be envisioning the target’s face, and you say “(Name of target,) hear my words, heed my command, by the grace of Almighty God, amen.”*** Scratch then initials of the target on the candle. Anoint the surface clockwise with a few drops of oil. Place this into your metal bowl, and pour cold water into the bowl until it is about half full. Now put your tea mix into the water. Light your candle and envision your target calm and collected - I like to see a cooling soothing energy pouring from my heart and into the target, and then keeping this in your mind’s eye, say “(Name of Target,) I calm you, I soothe you, I cool you with mint and draw out the flame of anger within you. As the fire from this candle extinguishes when it meets the calm cooling water, so does your anger cease when you again encounter me. As is my will so be it!”

Allow the candle to burn out. When it has, remove the candle remnants and pour the liquid mixture out of the front entrance of your home. 

Hope this is what you needed today. Back soon with more!

~Cat

*Apologies should be given a singular time. They are for the giver, not the receiver, really, so keep in mind that you are apologizing to admit you recognize your wrong doing, and feel guilt, but this is to relieve some guilt you feel…by offering this apology. This is why over-apologizing is bad. It makes the receiver feel like you are pushing them to relieve you of your burden of guilt when you have already hurt or offended them. You do not deflect responsibility. Remember, apologies with a “but” in them stink. Properly if I had kidnapped your pet penguin and during a high speed chase the bird was arrested for driving without a license (it’s an amazing penguin,) I should say “Gee, I’m sorry I ran off with your penguin. Doing something so crazy is unacceptable, and now that your penguin is in jail, I feel you should know that I’m willing to bail him out, and I want to do so, as long as you’re amenable.” It should not be, “I’m sorry that I ran off with your penguin but he’s so cool, and then I probably should not have him drive but I thought ‘When will I see this again,’ but it’s okay because I’ll bail him out, and you’re totally overreacting.” So, what did you do wrong? Admit that with no deflection of blame, admit it was unacceptable. Say “I hope you can forgive me.” End of apology.

**Also you can use a small piece of an unwashed hat (the inside part that touches the forehead and crown.) If you can’t get either, then please navigate my blog on your own too see if you have all the ingredients to another spell. The solution IS NOT to ask me repeatedly if something is an acceptable  substitute. You will be ignored. 

***As usual, IDGAF what you believe because I’m just happy you are happy with your choice of religion or lack thereof. So you can say “As is my will, so be it,” instead of wanting no religious flavoring to your spellwork. 

THIS SPELL IS COPYRIGHTED. Do not use, share, or distribute in any form without my express permission. 2022 OriginalNinjaCat.com

Nifty Little Controlling Jar Spell

Hey kids, 

So with a first quarter crescent moon, and it being Friday, (then sun is even in Pisces, which is a water sign,) it’s a perfect day for love magic, and I’m certain I’ll be getting lots and lots of love and reconciliation requests for spell work trickling in as the day progresses for that reason, so I figured I’d get an article up before the day has become too busy. 

Having had some fantabulous news today, I am in a cheery mood (my lack of lecturing is not from me taking a hard hit to the head,) so I think today’s offering will be a nice little spell (which since none of you mind all my smart instructive lectures when you are given them is probably for the best.)

Many of you come to me insisting that if you just had a conversation with the person you desire, then all would be well and things between you would resume being loving and enjoyable, when in reality, what you really are telling me it’s that if you’re able to have this person be calm and receptive to what you were saying, you might persuade them to be yours or return to you, whichever is suitable. If I just threw you and this loved one in a room right now, you’d both just fuss and argue and make my job (if you’re employing me,) harder, and/or your situation more difficult, though because this person is not interested or desirous of having any such audience with you, so, possibly, you may be wrong to think if you just open up the lines of communication, that all will be well. 

Instead, I might suggest that you open this person’s mind to your suggestions. And, since jar spells are all the rage at the moment (probably because they are really easy for beginners,) I have something you might try.

You will need:
A small jar with a metal lid like a baby food jar
Poppy seeds
Licorice root (shredded or powdered,)
Lavender flower
Commanding OR controlling oil*
Come to me oil*
A packet of PURPLE birthday candles or chime candles (they need to be small, but as chime candles are slightly bigger, you will get more power from a chime candle,)
Something personal from the target (a hair of the head is best, but any biological witness sample will work,)
A small piece of paper with all the edges torn off 
A pen with black or purple ink
An image of the target.

Pre-Spell Set up:
Mix approximately equal parts of your herbal ingredients (licorice, poppy seeds, lavender,) to fill the jar about half way, then add in the item of your target. Fill the jar to the top with approximately equal parts of your remaining herbal mixture. Add in about equal parts of your oils to make the contents of the jar “wet” (not soupy, but almost a paste consistency,) and then seal the jar shut.

This jar can be reused, but remember to dispose of it if it gets moldy. Keep in mind that herbal ingredients can grow mold and if they do, they will create gasses, and the jar may burst. For this reason I strongly recommend storing this in a cool, dark place, inside of storage containers as just a plastic bag can get eaten away by some essential oils.

Spell:
Write the target’s name NINE times using the pen described in the you will need section, as so (replacing Jason Momoa’s name with theirs, haha,)

Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa
Jason Momoa

Now turn the paper so the names are running vertically and write the command across this 9 times horizontally, creating a sort of grid pattern. You of course will use your own command, but for example purposes:

Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him
Desires to know everything Cat is thinking about him

A proper command is simple, direct, and uses the present tense. Examples are “Listens with interest and responds thoughtfully to (petitioner’s full name,” or “Reads and quickly replies to (full name,)” or even “Responds gently and lovingly to (full name.)” Ridiculous things like they give you all their money or that’s they spontaneously combust if they ever say a mean thing again, etc are not apt to happen. Keep it simple, keep it realistic.

Once you have finished the name paper, fold this once towards you, and turn and fold in half towards you again, place this on top of the image of your target, and then place the jar on top of the name paper. Now anoint one of your candles with a few drops of each oil, using seven strokes up (base to wick,) while envisioning your target in your minds eye, and if you are good with mental imagery, try too see the target actively interested and open to your suggestions (example, leaning towards you or the petitioner, whichever is the case.) Light the candle, and secure those to your jar lid with a few drippings. Once secured, and while still trying to keep a mental image of your target in your mind’s eye as you speak (sometimes leaving an image of them near you where you can see it is a huge help,) say “(Full name of target,) come to me, do as I say, for the more you try to resist me, the stronger the urge to do as I command you to do becomes. (Target’s name,), I command you to (state command you used,) wand do so lovingly, sweetly, submitting to my will immediately, Nola, now, - so be it!” Let the candle burn out, and then clean the wax off of it, and store to repeat the spell until the target has submitted to your will. 

The spell is best done on Sunday, Thursday, and Saturday and should be done each of those days continuing until the target submits. However, if the desired end is love, omit Tuesday, and instead use a Thursday, Friday, Saturday schedule.

This is mild spell so if you aware looking for something more intense, I suggest this instead.

I’m sure there will be questions, so please ask - and if you want some love or reconciliation work done by me, please let me know ASAP! 😊

~Cat

*I currently recommend using Seraphin Station products by the fabulous Ms Karma Zain!

This spell is copyright originalninjacat.com and may not be used, shared, or reproduced in any fashion without my express permission. I offer a reward for catching plagiarists so if you see this anywhere else, let me know.

Concise and Simple

Hey Occulties,

Today on Cat’s Rants I’d like to discuss a mistake I see people making frequently…

Keep It Simple, but Keep It Concise. So often when it comes to revenge or love, I get a novel-length email regarding what EXACTLY should happen, and I mean sometimes it is so exact that the amount of energy required to bring about the desired outcome would be absolutely insane when the petitioner would be just as satisfied with a similar outcome, despite insisting that this person must have these exact motives for coming back (generally that’s a reconciliation spell killer to insist you dictate their motives and not just the return,) or that the most complex series of events must happen to their curse target because they are sure everyone involved will be something that can be controlled as well as that I control their reactions, feelings and thought processes. So, let’s change the spell to something everyone reading understands well (probably, though it is an American thing,): A Turkey Sandwich. Now if you just say Turkey Sandwich, a slice of turkey between two slices of bread with nothing else could be all that comes, or something a bit fancier might arrive. No one knows. You only said turkey sandwich, and so as long as turkey and two slices of bread arrive, you got what you wanted. This is comparable to being vague or general in spellcasting. If I say “I want my ex to come back,” that could be anyone from the kid I “dated” in Kindergarten to my most recent ex, and if any one of them comes back, then the spell worked. But most of us have a clearer idea of what we want, so back to the sandwich, if instead you say, “I want a turkey and Swiss cheese sandwich on rye with mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, and onion, now the server brings you this and for most of us this is perfect. This could be compared to say “I want (specific person,) to come back to me seeking a relationship and for them to be free of any romantic attachments to others,” - so you’re getting the specific person you want and without so many complications. Lastly in our example, we have the overly exact person… They order a turkey sandwich as so: “I want cruelty-free turkey raised with no hormones, which only comes from the breast of a hen, which also has no preservatives and was raised locally, and place this on rye bread which was baked between the hours of 5-6pm yesterday, preferably while the baker was thinking of a specific classic rock song which will remain secret to me. I want house made aioli and not mayonnaise” (they are the same thing,) “which was made within the last 2 hours, and then a thin slice of jarlsburg which was cut from a cheese only first sliced today, then add red romaine lettuce which has been grown in an area no farther than 20 miles from here and where there are many hummingbirds, some red onion grown in Cork county Ireland, and a slice of tomato which was harvested by the hands of a virgin in Nebraska.” That person probably isn’t eating… And if you are overly exact on people’s motives, what they wear, what exact moment happens, etc, you probably won’t have manifestation either.

Look at it as if you’re the server in the turkey sandwich example… you can put a slice of turkey between two pieces of bread. You have rye bread and Swiss cheese and lettuce and tomatoes and onions and mayonnaise too as it is a restaurant which serves several sandwiches. Even if a turkey on rye isn’t on your menu, all those items are in the kitchen. However, how many people know what the baker was thinking when he baked the bread? Do you know the exact farm or the exact location of every ingredient normally? No, most of us don’t, much less the thoughts of the people working at those farms and bakeries and dairies. So would it be possible for you find out? Most of it you could, to some degree, but by the time you had, the person ordering that complicated sandwich would likely have left several days before.

When you are overly complex in what you are trying to manifest, a similar issue arises. The spell energy must be gigantic, and then it has to complete every command, which lessens the likelihood of the energy completing that lengthy list before it runs out, and by the time it has done everything you asked (in the off case that it can,) it takes so damn long, you don’t even want it anymore. 

So, be concise, and keep it simple. 

Alright, working on a spell article for everyone. Hope that was helpful,

 ~Cat