Cat's Rants - Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Destroying the “Other Woman”

Hey occulties,

Should you find a woman chasing after your man (or woman), or even worse, having him start to listen to her, or even worse carrying on in an affair, then even if you throw him out (and even if you don’t,) you should try this out so everyone knows what she is, and trust me…whatever good reputation she has left will disappear if you do this right (it looks easier than it is.) This tends to really only work well on someone who’s already of a low moral character (and people who intentionally pursue someone in a committed relationship would qualify,) so if you’re the third party trying to oust the other, it might not work as you’d hoped unless that woman’s cheating on the partner you’re pursuing.

You will need:
A hair from her head - or even better a pubic hair if you can get one 
Hair from a female cat in heat, preferably an orange cat, secondarily a black cat, lastly any cat in heat
Tiger Balm
A cowrie shell
patchouli herb
A red candle (large is best) 
Red thread - a whole spool
Optional: an image of the target 

Take the hair of the target and tie it in a knot with the hairs from the cat in heat, and as you do say, just as this cat calls for anyone to fuck her, so do you (target’s name)  scream for anyone to fuck you.” Say this while you think of your target, legs spread, begging for a lover. Now push this hair into the cowrie shell and say “(name of target,) this is your pussy,” and shove patchouli in and say “this patchouli grows your insatiable lust,” and spread Tiger Balm in, trying to get it inside, and say, “feel the heat and the warmth and feel it grow your desire for anyone and everyone to enter into you.” Now light your red candle, and drop some wax over the shell to coat it. Take your red thread, and start wrapping it around the shell lengthwise, in a clockwise motion, while you say “(name of target,) everyone you come in contact with, you irresistibly want to seduce that person, and feel them inside you, and you hunger for them until you let them have them,” over and over, leaving the outer parts of the cowrie shell uncovered to still represent the labia of the vagina, and then tie it at one end, saying the chant you used while wrapping, tie a knot at the other end, repeating the chant again, then tie a length at that end into a loop, repeating it once more, and say “as is my will, so be it” You should, throughout this process, keep a mental image of your target throwing themselves at everyone who passes, begging for sex from everyone.

Now if you have an image, place this beneath the candle, and place the loop on your index finger of your right hand, and holding the item over the flame (making sure you’re far enough that it won’t catch fire of course,) make the shell go in a circle counterclockwise while repeating “slut, whore, one man/woman/person isn’t enough, you always want more,” over and over and over for at least five minutes. Snuff or pinch out (do not blow out) the candle. Repeat daily for as long as you’d like. The target should become so crazed for sex from absolutely anyone that unless they are a porn star, people will be disgusted and derisive towards the target. Like I’m talking several partners a day if they can have them. Use the same candle of course.

This spell is best begun on a Tuesday in the first quarter of the lunar cycle

As always if you have questions, please ask! 

~Cat

This spell is copyright ©️OriginalNinjaCat.com and can not be shared without permission

 

Questions You’ve Asked Me: July 2024 edition

Hey Occulties,

Here we go, another QYAM article!

Q: Should I do cursing during a waxing or waning moon phase? 

A: Either. It depends on the curse. If I’m assuming you want the curse energy to grow which would use a waxing phase, then you’d start at the first quarter waxing phase, but if you’re dissolving some influence to create a more negative situation then you want the third quarter (as soon after the full moon as possible.

People get confused because they were told negative workings are for the waning phase and positive for the waxing when we should look at it more like increasing and decreasing. It has literally zero to do with it being a blessing or curse. You use the “growth” (strongest lunar day being the day after but closest to the new moon) to grow, or to bring to you, or the “shrinking” (ie waning so the day after the full moon,) to decrease, lessen, and remove. The full moon IS NOT strong for growing an influence and is inert. It has other properties. The brighter the moon is the less growing influence you have. 

Q: Do autistic people react to spells the same as neurotypicals? 

A: This is a very broad question I can’t give a yes and no answer to. Whenever you’re working on the person versus a situation, the intelligent tactic is to keep in mind the behavioral and emotional make up of that person as well as if they are neurodivergent. You should know the triggers of the spell work you use. This is why I have said no spell is one size fits all. Unfortunately, people don’t like that understanding basic psychology is essential to expert spellworking on PEOPLE. So yes, it is likely you would want to know the triggers used to create the desired outcome when working on an autistic person. If, however, you are working on the situation rather than the individual involved this is far less of a concern. These spells (like a get a job spell) are built to manifest a needed situation and whether or not an autistic person is involved should not be much of a concern with those. It’s just that many people ask about love spells and those spells tend to work on the person rather than the situation. 

Q: How often should I clean my altar? 

A: If you use it for multiple workings of different types, every time you use it you need to cleanse it of the previous spell’s energy. If you’re working the same kind of spell for the same purpose (all love spells for example) then whenever it’s dirty. 

Q: Now that I have your number, it’s okay to text you every time I have a question about casting my own spells or to talk about my problems, right? 

A: No. in fact I appreciate it if you stick to email only (texts are for supreme emergencies) and I sell a service that is answering your spell questions so it’s actually incredibly rude to suggest I do my job for you for free. I don’t mind answering handful of questions for free on the odd occasion (not several times a day or week) but texting me daily with several does cross the line. 

There’s a difference between a paying spell client asking me about their situation i’m working on, and a paying spell client asking me about spells they cast themselves, - ones I didn’t cast, too. If I cast the spell, it’s my job to answer questions about it. It’s not my job to act as a free spell coach just because you’re working on the situation too. The amount of unpaid time I’m expected to work un-teaching the most ridiculous things people find on the corners of places rife with misinformation could qualify as a part-time job already. 

And this is a job. I don’t know how many of you want to do your job for free to the detriment of having any time to yourself in an economy that is horrible, but the cost of everything has skyrocketed for everyone so, just like you, I need to earn an income so I can pay my bills and if I’m not earning one, I’d rather use the time to enjoy being with my family or doing things I enjoy - not working for free. I am happy to do what I’m paid to do, - and I’m seriously busy at this writing, - and i love what I do, but I don’t think texting me 30 questions about spells I’m not casting at 2am and getting pissy when I don’t respond I’d acceptable.

Q: I got a cleansing from a spellcaster and things improved for a few months, now I feel like I’m returning to the same state. Were their spells weak?

A: If you took a shower or bath a year ago and haven’t bathed since and find yourself filthy, is your shower weak? if you swept the floor last month and now it’s filthy, is your broom weak? If you ate two days ago and you’re ravenous, is your stomach weak? Is your food weak? This is no different than spells cast on a living situation (ie a cleansing as you will get spiritually dirty again.) Any situation which is in a state of constant evolution (which includes your cleanliness,) may require you to have it redone to keep yourself in the state desired.

Q: Is there a spell to make people forget the mistakes you’ve made? 

A: Well there are workings to make them think better of you, to minimize the mistakes, to forgive you, but short of giving someone brain damage, I can’t say they will ever forget. 

Q: How long have you been reading tarot?

A: At this writing, 34 years, 29 years professionally.

Q: Have you ever cursed a person only to find out they were not guilty of the offense you put the curse on them for? 

A: Not in my personal work for myself. If anything, I’ve been too kind to my enemies over all, though I’m sure a few would be sniveling that I wasn’t nice at all to hear that statement. I have had a few clients who convinced me to put a far too nasty curse on parties who were not as guilty as they said, though I generally decline to curse someone for hire if I suspect such a thing.

If the underlying question is have I felt badly for cursing after I cursed… not so much. I curse people who earn it and then some. 

Hope this has been educational! 

~Cat

 

 

Well You Knew This Was Coming

Hey Occulties,

So I think it started in 2022, (I know it’s been over a year certainly) but a pathetic human being who I’ve never worked for decided to start posting some really libelous stuff about me, mostly because she was upset that my husband didn’t love her, want her, and that he had no intention of being with her. She gets egged on to post again sometimes when a “friend” of hers who has called DHHS on her more than once - since most people I know in Portland despise her - gets it in her head to rile this crazy chick up again. Neither party is anyone myself or my husband wants in our lives, clearly. So for a year or more now, I get to explain this situation over and over when most of us don’t feel we should have to discuss our personal lives and why a crazy bitch stalks ourselves or our spouse. 

By itself, that’s bad enough. Having a stalker who didn’t do that would be creepy enough. 

So every once in awhile I’ll get someone who mysteriously cancels before I start their work because they’re gullible enough to believe that crazy person under one of her multiple identities (and frankly, that’s fine, - I have a metric fuckton of business and don’t need theirs,) but then if I’ve done the consultation, that’s lost money. And so thanks to my stalker, whereas I used to make money from 9 out of 10 leads ordering services, I now am wasting time on people who are sadly incapable of separating her lies from reality, and time is money. 

They virtually all come from the same place so it’s a shame this has to be forced on everyone but it’s looking like I don’t have any choice. Readings will now come with a non-refundable $15 deposit, and spell consultations will come with a non-refundable $25 consultation fee. If a service is purchased it will be subtracted from the price. So services will still cost the same, but if you don’t have the deposit you won’t get scheduled and if you don’t pay for your spell consultation, you won’t get spellwork.

Basically, had this crazy woman not decided to come after me due to my husbands rejection of her, none of this would be happening but it is what it is. Sorry everyone. 

One thing she didn’t do was mysteriously give everyone payment issues. This last week has been ludicrous. While I just moved yesterday (which was later than I’d wanted,) just about the same time everyone started up with the usual BS I get around the first. I can assure you that pay processors don’t all up and quit on the week of the first and to hear no less than SEVEN of you, ALL of them stopped working on your end which… I don’t doubt people have issues here and there but I know that’s bullcrap. You know, moving is expensive, and this made the move a much larger pain in my butt than it had to, and made it cost me more. I put aside the time for the consultations, made time to be sure I could do spellwork, all to be told a bunch of lies. It’s made me short on a few bills for it too, and those I pay my bills to want to hear your lies as much as I do. So you who did that are also the reason there’s a consultation fee and reading deposit. 

And I’m sorry everyone that some very irresponsible people have ruined free consultations for you as well. If it’s become as much of a problem as it has, it’s long overdue. 

Fortunately for all of you, and unfortunately for me, this means I don’t get the fourth off because I have to cover late charges and overcharges delayed payments caused me. I do hope the rest of the USA has a lovely day off though. 

~Cat

UPDATE: Well I was hoping I could reconsider this but 8 people (2 missed readings, 6 spell requests who ghosted before payment - other practitioners please see me for a list of ghost consults in March through July and I’ll let you know their details if I can confirm you are a practitioner so you can refuse before wasting time) decided for you that it was for the best. There’s no reason for this type of behavior, and since most of it comes from the same group, I’m sorry it’s now become mandatory for everyone that consultation and scheduling is paid. The site has been changed accordingly. 

On Fast Resulrs

Hey Occulties, 

Sorry for the long pause in posting. I got busy and paying work takes precedence over blog and Instagram posts so I do apologize. The sale is over so I hope everyone enjoyed sale prices. Also, I would have a lot more time if we had less readings going on. These are not easy or just me focusing for a brief moment. They are a huge energy drain vs what some people think which seems to be they feel it’s similar to me trying to remember what shoes I was wearing yesterday or something similar. Instead, it’s more comparable to say doing a Zumba class while simultaneously acting as a server at a catering event. If you think you could do that class while also retaining a clean pleasant approachable appearance and behavior and hand out canapés to guests (let’s just forget that punching and kicking would make that difficult, haha) without upsetting them, then you should also do readings. 😂 Now imagine doing that several times in a row. So four Zumba classes in a row and serving while you do it, and follow it with a decathalon which represents the spellcastings I do every day, then 4-6 hours of rest and repeat that daily for a week or two. Now perhaps some of you understand why I’m curt if you want an “emergency” reading “right now” (when I don’t have the free time) when you miss your appointment, generally for a situation which is neither an emergency or requiring of a psychic to tell you where you’re misstepping. In many of those cases, the client is merely over-eager for the endgame and is pushing their romantic target too hard to agree to- or act in a manner which is what their spell is meant to create, a behavior which pushes away the very outcome they desire. That’s not anything but psychology 101. If you keep pushing someone in the mundane eventually they get annoyed and push back in the opposite direction which is usually what’s causing the “emergency” of a target’s “not reacting to the spell” (because the target is reacting to the bad behavior of the client.) Remember, it’s imperative not to work against the spellwork. I’ve done the same thing, so I can relate to how easy it is to behave like this, but if you want a reading to confirm it, you need to keep your appointment and understand this is a lot of energy for me to use up and a lot of money for you to pay me to use it up to tell you the likely reason you’re experiencing what you are which I just told you for free right here. 

Either way (that was a novel to write out, haha) for those of you who managed to get through that without becoming angry because you feel called out (I have a ridiculous amount of active cases right now and probably ten people acting as above so trust and know you aren’t being singled out,) or stopped reading because you got bored (it happens,) let’s get to today’s real topic…

Fast results vs lasting results.

For my younger readers, I’m sure you will roll your eyes, but the idea that we should expect instant gratification, - that is that every action to bring us to some desired goal should bring that goal to us instantly, - is a relatively recent phenomenon. If we look back even 150 years, just to have food in some edible form was often a multi hour process. New clothes were generally hand sewn by many people even this recently. Both of my grandmothers (who were born in the 1920s,) had sewn many clothes in their lives as this was a basic skill expected of women at the time as bought clothing was initially rather costly. So you didn’t just go to a massive superstore equivalent of pre-internet Shein 😂 There was an industrial boom at the beginning of the 20th century, which did provide many ready-made goods, but the quality was sometimes so poor, that people continued to make their own from scratch. Even when I was little, a lot of pre-made ready meals were…well, they were kind of gross. I still love Spaghetti-O’s with meatballs but honestly it was about that level. So we knew to have good food required cooking. Clothes when I was little were all ready made but if you lived in a very small town like I did, you either had to drive for about forty minutes to get to a mall or department store, or you had to order them which took a few weeks to receive your goods. People who grew up with little or no internet did not have instant access to knowledge and news (if you didn’t know how to use a microfiche, good luck,) we had to cook and finding everything you ever wanted was virtually impossible because Sears definitely wasn’t hocking skull candles or ninja shaped salt and pepper shakers. So if you’d do ridiculous amounts of research you could order away for stuff you wanted and then prayed it arrived since you couldn’t always be sure it wasn’t just a catalog scam. 

Now I’m sure many of my younger readers are also wondering if I knew kids who walked eight miles in the snow uphill both ways to get to school and the answer is no it was more like 2 miles or so and not necessarily uphill both ways depending on their route and it was to get to the school bus but yes I did know those people and that really did happen. 👵🏻 I’m not even joking. 

But the point isn’t how badass we all were but more that living in such a manner taught us not to expect instant gratification. However many people quickly learned that bad trait despite such an upbringing. 

That we expect something to happen virtually overnight or faster is a mental illness brought about by modern society. Generally, the younger you are, the more you expect this. Of course much like nature does not work like this most of the time, then also spells also do not work in this manner. 

But, sometimes we need (not just want but need) something to happen this fast. While it certainly feels like we need love situations to change as we want them to almost immediately, generally this is wholly untrue and also counterproductive in the long term. You see, it brings a tenuous result..that is anyone who changes their heart so rapidly often changes it right back quite rapidly. That might not matter if you need someone to loan you rent money in a hurry (once you have the money, it’s yours) or decide to hire you over another, or even make a court decision in your favor since once these decisions are made they are not easily undone. But with love? If you need a speedy reconciliation it should be over a minor blow up where neither of you ended a relationship… like you want this person to stop being angry while you are visiting family during the holidays - not to fix an epic break up where you’ve not spoken in weeks. And many of you won’t heed that advice and your reconciliation will rapidly fall apart for it. 

So when you become frustrated because you want something instantly, remember a lasting influence occurs generally from a slower manifestation. That isn’t what a lot of people want to hear. They want everything this minute, but in some cases that’s more heartache than happiness as someone coming and going is very hard on the human heart. So when you want fast results, you generally should stick to results involving money, getting a job, or legal matters like court cases. Health and relationships are better served with lasting results which take a bit longer to manifest and require some patience. If you’ve been raised to expect instant gratification, you will struggle with that. If you lived at least 10-12 years of your life without the internet, it will be a bit easier.

Emotional resilience also plays a part here. I know when my partner is being an asshat, I’m a mess and I want him to stop that now. And I’m a pretty resilient woman. If you aren’t emotionally resilient, it may feel nearly impossible to tolerate any wait. The best advice I can offer is to think that relationships form and break and mend very much like our life and health do. It takes months to form a little baby human that’s healthy enough to survive outside its mother, then anything from slow malnutrition or mistreatment can destroy that being’s health and to fix it back to being healthy can require months of proper treatment. Relationships are the same. You can’t impart a seemingly mortal wound to a living thing and then expect it will be 100% healthy if you give it a pill. So severe of a shock to the body is apt to require more treatment. Yes there are exceptions to every rule but most of the time you need time and treatment to heal the body and to heal a relationship. 

So if you’re seeking fast short term influence- yes on fast results. Long lasting influence comes from workings that manifest a bit slower.

I know this was a review but it needed being said. 

~Cat

Get a deal on readings over at my Instagram 

Thank you, St Expedite!

Once again, many many thanks to St Expedite for all his help!

Cat’s Big Money Post (aw, fck yeah!)

Hey occulties,

As we can all agree, (or at least most of us can,) 2023 can go suck a bag of dicks,) and after myself and Mr NinjaCat got scammed out of 10k on our townhouse, money was in ridiculously short supply. I was and have been living in short term rentals which were not feasible long term. 

But not for much longer. Over the next few weeks I will be moving. The actual moving part isn’t the hard part (haha) it’s the packing all my shit part and the fact that my mover is well priced but will be costing me at least $300. He can get it all done in 2 hours though and is an awesome human being.

So when actual moving day is upon us, I will announce it here as I will not be available for at least four hours that day. 

But until moving day it is crunch time on earning money. So, I’m announcing 20% off on every service AND I’m doing weekly money work every Sunday, Wednesday, and Thursday. If you’d like to get some cheap money work done, it’s either $50 for a week (so three group money workings,) or $25 to be included in a single group money working. I’ll be doing your working alongside my own, we are sharing an altar, and the aim is to bring as much monetary good fortune to us as possible as fast as possible.

and I’m also posting a money spell shortly.

Also, return clients, I’m giving out special deals to all return clients that are superior to 20% off.

So let’s all get excited because I’m about to be in the same place for a whole freaking year (or more lol). The spirit of late Birdo (who sadly we lost in March and who I miss so much every day) must be watching over us.

~Cat

 

 

Video Upgrades

Hey Occulties,

As many of you know, my husband and I were basically scammed on renting a townhouse this past winter and lost an enormous amount of money, which would have sucked enough on its own but coupled with the economy and the rents and frequent change from rental to AirBnb property issues of Portland causing several moves prior has been particularly hard. So basically, all our savings was spent renting the scam townhouse, which we learned quickly the landlord immediately evicts all tenants once they move in. Then we had to emergency move which meant spending lots of money on short term rentals. 

see me chat on it live here

Needless to say, the last few months have been exhausting and thanks to this and my psychotic stalker (who calls people pedophiles if they defend me, which is weird,) not exactly what I would term profitable. 

Now I’m 46 years old, and I’ve done this job for 20 years, and I’m being told with no extra money, I should start making spellcasting how-to videos. I don’t have money for a video stand. I have a dated iPhone. I’m not exactly in a position to purchase lots of fancy equipment. I have prided myself on educating people for two decades and find most spellcasting videos I’m shown to be limited to either absolutely false information or made merely to entertain rather than educate…so while not entirely opposed to the idea (staying relevant is certainly not a bad thing,) it involves money (which currently is earmarked for living expenses) and a better spot to start filming for you. 

But I stress… I am an educator in the occult arts. Entertainment and spectacle aren’t things I consider relevant to the profession, but if the masses insist on colorful little video clips to start the gears clicking and moving so they can use the gift of literacy to complete said education (so a 30-60 minute video gets you reading blog posts and learning real magic) then I guess I’m down… as long as I can afford to be because it’s not cheap to upgrade. For this feat I will require a new laptop (which I may be able to affordably acquire for around $400) and an updated iPhone (that’s going to run me about $1000,) and video stands and ring lights look like that’s another $30 or so. I’ll work on the better place to film in the meanwhile but that’s $1500. Because I am guessing I need to consider taxes and more than one stand. 

So this is my upgrade fundraiser. If you can send any help, let me know, otherwise until I can afford to set aside the money, this is what we are waiting on. Just tell me it’s for the upgrade and I will update the amount received here in the blog on this post.

please contact if you’re interested in helping otherwise it might be til about August before I can save the extra up.

~Cat

Ps- yes the audio cuts out at the end. This is what I’m working with right now lol

Spell to attract friends and admirers

Hey Occulties, 

Today Id like to focus on a spell to be more liked by others. This isn’t going to help much if you’re an asshole to those around you, and that’s why others dislike you. After 20 years of serving the public, I’ve met a fair amount of people lacking enough introspection to realize that they are rude, boorish, and don’t possess much social intelligence, so keep in mind, this spell is better for those who are shy or new to an area or job and want to be better liked, not really for those who are cunts to everyone around them. 

I’ve chosen a simple candle spell since these seem to be the easiest for many of my readers. All herbal ingredients except the apple should be dried.

This spell is best done on a Thursday in the first quarter of the moon. 

You will need:
An apple of a sweet variety (no Granny Smith), cored
A purple taper candle (longer than a chime candle)
Passion flower
Bay leaves
Climbing Ivy
Tobacco
White sugar
Crown of Success oil
Attraction oil
Love drawing oil 
An image of- or hair from- the petitioner (person who the spell is cast on behalf of)
A sharp knife or exacto knife

Be sure to place this into a heat-safe dish. I like to use a pie plate lined with sand to prevent fire accidents. 

Carve the petitioner’s name (or your own) and “is adored, admired, and respected by all) onto the skin of the apple using a sharp knife.

In a small bowl mix together about 1/2 teaspoons (2.5 ml according to my teaspoon measure) of the passion flower, bay leaves (crushed), climbing ivy, tobacco, and sugar. 

Anoint your candle by placing about 2-3 drops of oil in your right hand, and then anointing the candle with seven strokes up (base to wick) on your candle. While you do this try to keep the image of the petitioner surrounded by friends and admirers in your mind’s eye. Pour your herbal mixture out onto a flat surface and roll your anointed candle into this to cover the candle. Place the hair or image into cored area of the apple, then place the candle into the cored area making sure it is secure. Place the apple onto a heat/flame proof surface.

For the chant, remember to replace the third person he/she/they etc with I/me/mine if doing the spell for yourself. 

Light the candle, and keeping an image of the petitioner surrounded by friends and admirers in your mind’s eye throughout the chant, say: “(Full name of petitioner,) attracts friends and admirers to himself/herself/themself like ants to sugar, bees to honey, moths to flame. Everyone wants to be where he/she/they is/are, and everyone praises his/her/their name. Friends and admirers surround (petitioner) wheresoever he/she/they walks, and all around him/her/them listen intently when he/she/they talks. When (petitioner) goes out, he/she/they is all that anyone can see, as is my will, so must it be!”

Now allow the candle to burn all the way out. Dispose of the remains to the East of your home, either by throwing them in a trash receptacle East of your home or by throwing the cored apple into an abandoned lot or forested area east of your home. 

Im sure there will be questions so contact me if you have any! 

~Cat

Follow me on Instagram

Happy St Expedite Day!

Hello Occulties,

Today is the day of St Expedite - opener of roads, bringer of fast financial decisions, and for fast help (not for love use,) and in honor of his feast day, I’m offering a votive to St Expedite (plus all necessary offerings,) for $20. Contact me if interested! 

~Cat

Please Help a Dear Friend

Hey everyone, 

I’m sharing this because one of oldest friends and someone who goes out of his way to make me laugh when I’ve called him crying, makes me cry from laughing so hard, and would probably kick your ass for being mean to me even with stage four liver failure because he’s also a very true friend.

if you can even spare $5 it would help 

This is Jeff and he could definitely use your help if you can give it. 

~Cat