Hey kids,
So as many of you know (and some of you don't,) I don't practice St Valentine's Day (despite it being an actual saint day, and myself being Catholic,) and this isn't for spiritual reasons, - it's because every few years, (throughout my life) I have had a really really really really bad February 13th. By the time the 14th comes, I'm drained and miserable. I'm just not up for it. If anything, the candy hearts and the decorations remind me of the badness that is February 13th, and because some are scarred for life type memories, I find myself having like a mild form of PTSD. And, interestingly enough, since I started not celebrating it some time in my early 20's, every man I've been with during a Valentine's Day was overjoyed that he had to do NOTHING. I didn't want him to do anything. If anything, I was going to be more upset than happy if he reminded me of the date. :/
However, my job is nearly always about love, and without fail, a number of my clients find themselves very disturbed if their desired one isn't there to spoil them and give them candies and etc. So while I'm in some perpetually-frozen-in-time PTSD from the evil that is February 13 (which is also, amusingly, a jackass ex of mine's birthday, even though I only dated him for about a year, lol,) I am also placed in a position where I have to put that aside, and talk a few people off of a proverbial ledge.
Now, I would admit that perhaps I draw badness to myself on the 13th of February, thanks to my dread and the law of attraction, but the weird thing about me is, I'm not one to notice dates. That doesn't mean I wouldn't subconsciously be aware of a date, but it also would be a bit odd that I didn't really notice the pattern until it had happened several times. It is what it is. I don't like the 13th of February. It's the anniversary of some bad stuff for me (really.)
HOWEVER, it's been a huge relief to not celebrate the holiday. There is no "I feel so alone" day. Heck, if I'm being fair, February 14 does stand out as one of the sweeter moments in my life with a friend who was trying to cheer me up after the death of a close friend, so I can't even say I "hate it," it's just better to ignore it the vast majority of the time.
But if the holiday is getting you down because you miss "someone special," please take my advice... I imagine that many of you did not care very much either way about this day (or so speaking with people over the years has given me this insight,) when you were partnered up with someone. If this is true, the reason you're getting anxious and upset is mostly coming from everyone's own worst enemy, and our worst enemy often is ourselves. Realize that most exes are not likely to reach out to you on VD. They feel to do so is going to feel canned or weird or too hopeful. Seeing as the hardest part of reconciling an ex is the first contact, this means it's unlikely that they will want to use this day. It doesn't mean you're all alone or that the world is trying to emphasize that to you. But breaking up can be hard. It can cause a real grieving process and the worst part is that the one you want isn't dead, so it feels even harder to justify that loss. Your heart is hurt and looking for reasons to point out to you that it's hurt. It believes if it can just express that feeling, it would help it heal. I recommend avoiding the holiday entirely if it gets you down or upset. While my reasons are not romantic in nature regarding this day, please realize as a person who attaches stigma to the day, the avoidance (as much as I can) of the holiday has actually given me far more peace than anything else. I am sure the same can happen for you.
This might not hold true for people who miss a person who always made a big deal out of the day. I would still give similar advice but it might be less astute.
But realize, Saint Valentine would be disturbed and disgusted by how you "celebrate" his day. He's a saint, and with some of the racier gifts people give, no doubt he's just mortified that it has turned into what it is. Imagine if someone celebrated a remembrance holiday for you with something (or many somethings) you'd find incredibly detestable. So, the upside is that you're not ticking off Saint Valentine either, if that is a thing that matters to you. ;)
Lastly, yes...I am generally harder to reach on 13-14 February than any other time of the year, excluding maybe my birthday. I would not go into the various HORRIBLE things that have happened to me on February 13, other than to say they are not even related to each other, and many of them still make me crawl with dread to think about, while others serve as sort of a "that's yet another time someone fucked me over" or "look at life kicking my ass again" moments, where, while I should not be feeling sorry for myself (as self pity is generally just a waste of energy), the pattern just burns it into my brain. I had, at one time, thought to myself if I just made the 13th super positive by trying to make only good things happen on that day, that it would erase the bad luck element, but then for the next 3 February 13ths unstoppable badness happened. I stopped trying to make it good, and if I can manage to ignore it (and even sometimes if I can't,) it generally passes by without a hiccup. Every 2-3 years or so, though, it still gives me at least a little slap...and if I'm really (un)lucky, it becomes a mega shitstorm event, but normally it's just a smack.
Don't worry, though, it just seems to be focused on me. This isn't to say someone or more than one someones I am very close to hasn't been impacted by what's going on with me, but it does mean that I have yet to see my "bad luck anniversary" affect any client of mine as of yet. It's more like life might hand me a giant shit sandwich, but you don't need to eat it with me or kiss me after, so you're safe. ;) The largest problem it has ever given any of my clients is that I might (should it be a dreadful 13th,) have to deal with whatever happened, which means I'll have less time for correspondence during that time, or that if you come to me feeling morose about VD coming and you not sharing in it, you might pick up that I am not really warmly engaged in that conversation on the 14th. :( It isn't you on that day...it's me. :{
~Cat