Cat's Rants - Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

St Expedite Communication Spell

Hey everyone,

So here I was, writing ANOTHER DAMN ARTICLE on thinking your spellwork to death and other bad things, and I was like "This is taking me forever, because it feels like all I do is write about this stuff." SO, since I've also had a lot of people asking me "is there some easy way to get my target to communicate," I figured, well, this should do. Technically speaking, this is more of a prayer than a spell, but it's easy to do. 

You will need:
An orange candle
An Image of St Expedite (or a statue if you have it,) 
Tobacco
Attraction oil
Poundcake* (as a reward after St Expedite gets your target to communicate with you.) 

Anoint your orange candle UP (base to wick) using your attraction oil, and seven upward strokes. Roll this in your tobacco, and place it in a candle holder or a firesafe container. Place this in front of your image or statue of St Expedite. Light the candle and say:
"Oh Glorious St Expedite, you who grant requests quickly and without fail, hear my request. Have (full name of target) contact me as quickly as possible, either by phone or by text, by writing or by email, that they speak with me however they must, and speak to me as soon as they can. Once I have spoken with (name of target,) I promise to reward you with this poundcake, in gratitude for your help on this matter, and will recommend your help to those in need of it from this day forward. Amen." 

Allow the candle to burn out. The person should call very quickly. I STRONGLY recommend you have the poundcake waiting before you start as sometimes he answers your prayers before the candle has even burned out! And BE SURE to give St Expedite his poundcake (place it on a clean dish, and leave it in front of his image for at least a day,) as soon as he answers your prayer. :)

Hope that's some help! 

~Cat

You Asked - a Little St Expedite Review

Hello my occulties,

You know what's fun?  When you forget to save something and your computer reboots of it's own accord and kills whatever you were writing. Isn't that fun? No, it actually isn't.

Anyhow, tragedies of modern day computing aside, today I'd like to thank St Expedite, who, as he almost always does, has come through with results for my request quickly. I know a lot of you are curious about this saint, and I did write a blog post on him many moons ago, but for those of you who have asked recently - what do I recommend his help on:

Needing housing quickly
Needing money quickly
Getting a raise/promotion
Needing a slow moving situation to speed up (example, an interview process or a loan*)
Clearing an obstacle (for example, having a bank error that might take UP TO 30 days to resolve, so it cuts down that time)
Ending procrastination
Having someone make contact - this is not a full list of things you can ask his assistance on, but, generally speaking, these are the things I ask him for assistance on. 

However a lot of people do like to try using St Expedite for matters of the heart, and in my experience, "rushing" someone to return to you often ends with a quick sexual encounter or a quick outburst of love, which can - and often does - fade just as rapidly, and leaves you in a worse position than you were. This may not be your experience, so you are free to try, but I am not here to comfort you if it ends poorly. ;) 

I also do not recommend asking him for a speedy revenge on someone. As he is a saint, those requests do not often go down well. :/

Also, always remember to "pay the saint." Leave a piece of poundcake and light a candle to him when he rewards you with what you prayed for. :) 

Does this really work? It works SURPRISINGLY WELL. I can't thank St Expedite enough for all of the times he saved my butt (because I am sometimes bad with money, and need help in a hurry.) I know he can help you, too. No, you don't have to be Catholic - in my experience, he helps everyone.  Please visit my old post for instructions! 

Glory to you, St Expedite!

~Cat

 

*It's imperative that you remember that asking a decision to come through quickly does not mean the decision will be in your favor. So if you pray that someone make a decision, be sure you ask that it is IN YOUR FAVOR. Similarly, if you want someone to make contact fast, remember, they might not be saying what you want them to say. Always clearly express what you want, but remember, as I've said in previous posts, you do not want to be TOO PICKY. Being too exacting means the petition may go unanswered as it has too many things required for it to be manifested for you, being too vague can bring blah or unwanted results. 

You May As Well Ask Nicely. ;)

Hey Occulties,

A little something that came up this weekend with a long term client. We were discussing prayer, and this person had said that they pray but it almost never happens that this person gets what they pray for, so when I asked them how they pray, and how often I was more or less told: "Well, when I want something, I ask for that thing. So if I want money, I say 'please help, I need money.'" I asked if this person ever gives thanks for any blessings without asking for something first, to which they said they didn't think so, no.

I believe people learn a bit better when they see this in a human-to-human context. Let's say that every day I work with you, and since you don't love sweets, you give me the cookie or cake that your spouse or parent packs in your lunch (in this example, someone always packs our lunches for us, ha,) and so, every day, I say "Will you please give me your (cake/cookie/souffle, etc)?" and every day, you give this to me. I never say thank you when you do, even though I ask nicely. Now if I ask you can I also have $20 today, with that sweet, and I ask nicely, how likely are you to give it to me? What if I keep asking for favors, and I never thank you or give you anything in return? I may not be a particularly dislike-able person but I am not being polite either, and by showing no gratitude or appreciation, I am not encouraging any help whatsoever from you as is, right?

Well...why should any spirit or divine being give you anything if all you do is ask for things? You can pay them in praise, in gifts (and I don't mean you have to go killing a bunch of animals - food is great, but candles, incense, an altar, - all these are gifts,) and the even the smallest recognition given to this spirit or divine being are going to go a long way in furthering you having your requests answered. 

So, if you have a meal and you say "Thank you so much, (God/dess/The Universe, etc) for this food. I appreciate your blessing of this meal so that myself and my family are fed," - even those 2 little sentences without additional requests (like if you added "And make Chris Hemsworth fall in love with me and always be dressed as Thor,") show your gratitude - they encourage spirits or Almighty to continue to bless you and to tend to future requests more often.

Try it - be thankful without making any request - just have your prayer be "Thanks (Spirit/God)," for a whole week, and THEN ask that spirit or that God for something after seven days, and try to make it a  small request (so no "Make me win the lottery," but perhaps "Please whisper in the ear of so-and-so, and have him/her think s/he must call me,") because...well, it's rude to make big requests of people all of the time, and sometimes the same can follow with spirits/gods. It isn't that they can't fulfill the request, but rather that sometimes we forget we are doing the equivalent of asking someone to lend is $15k just because they are nice. ;) When a better relationship is established, that might be a request that party would fulfill, but if they don't know us that well, it's far too big of a favor to ask. I often many people do that to spirits and gods - asking for a big favor, and only ever asking for a big favor when you have little to no relationship with the being is not going to be received with that being just wanting to dish out such a large favor. Instead, give praise and thanks for the smallest blessings before you even make a request, and try not to make your requests huge until you've established a relationship with the being. Once you have, then they will give far more than they would if you were a stranger.

And if you're just saying your daily prayers (a thing I realize many of you do not even do,) be sure to heap praise upon your spirit or god/s when you are not in need. Be thankful for your smallest blessings. 

That, at least according to me, is how to make prayer work when you need it to. 

I've drank only 2 coffees  though, so I apologize if that was horrid English prose above. I need 4 coffees to function at 100%. ;) 

~Cat