Hey there Occulties,
So this year I feel people really did not ask their best questions. Perhaps after 2 decades, I've managed to really get the best out of everyone, which I honestly hope I'm wrong in that regard. So very often, the questions in the QYAM contest were so inspiring to me and helped me really get more focused on what mattered to my readers, whereas sadly, this year, only a quarter of the entries qualified as suitable for entries. I didn't even ban repeat questions like I used to when qualifying entries.
For example, business policies like "Why do you have x rule at your job?" are not going to be about Hoodoo or spellcasting. They are about why I personally do not find a certain business practice or do find a certain business practice useful. Questions about me personally also don't qualify. Not that someone specifically asked this but close enough so "Why are you a redhead? Are you still naturally a redhead? Were you ever naturally a redhead?" also has zero to do with spellcasting, Hoodoo, and/or the occult. Questions about Mr NinjaCat again also do not qualify....Mr NinjaCat doesn't even have a freaking proper name on my blog other than Mr NinjaCat or Mr NinjaCat the third. Questions regarding people we know or people I know in the occult world which are personal don't qualify. Most questions regarding my personal preference on this or that thing are not really going to qualify.
I even tried an added month but meh, so let's see the three that placed and hopefully next go around we will have a better crop. I am reasonably sure these are all repeats but it's alright, probably not too recently. All questions have been edited for clarity, and names have been edited to show only a first initial. The winners have been notified.
First prize
Q: What is the best way to revive a relationship that ended several years previously using magic? Is it even possible after five years? (Submitted by R)
A: Without knowing any details as to why it ended or how contentious the break itself was, it would be difficult to entirely offer a fair answer as the circumstances could differ wildly, and I further do not know enough details regarding logistics, and availability of contact, shared friends etc - BUT let's just make this generic and say that while the break up was slightly contentious and both parties stopped speaking, they continued to have shared friends, did not stalk, harass, or insult each other through their friends or directly, and the relationship ended 6 years ago. Let's also say both parties are currently single. The best way to go about reviving this would be, in my opinion, to first do a very light reconciliation working. Something simple - even a pink candle with sugar, balm of gilead, pink rose petal and reconciliation oil - and once that has burned out, work the situation like a new relationship, like to draw a specific person. You might even do road opening rather than reconciliation if both parties are "over" the relationship (which clearly is untrue if you're doing love work to bring it back,) but the main part of the working would be to treat it as if you had an old friend you realized is just single and you want to get together with them, and use love attraction and love drawing. Avoid using too much red magic (lust rather than love,) as it can draw up anger and you have to be secure that neither half of the couple is still retaining any residual anger from all those years ago. Still, this is not a bad situation, and a positive outcome is very plausible here as the couple has had plenty of time apart to overcome their troubles and the troublesome behavior that led to their break up many years ago.
Now let's say you ask me this about a relationship that ended terribly, where they don't speak, one person stalked the other for a few years, they share no friends in common, but for some bizarre reason they do both still have each other's numbers, even though one moved far away a few years ago and it's been six years since the break up. So, let's say it's really a bad situation. Hell, even me, who loves trying to fix horrible love problems would not want to take this on... But, I guess let's say I'm being forced at gunpoint to fix it, ha ha. In that case, I'd start with figuring out the break up itself. Why did it happen? Would it happen again? So, if someone is stalking their target to the point of it being disturbing, you start by calming them, you heal them, you try to bring that anxiety and obsession down. This is nothing you'd do for hire, because this will be slow. This will be at least a few months. Unfortunately until this person is in a better place, they will kill spellwork with lust for results. Are they better? Oh, you only think so. See, the next problem we need to deal with is that people who are this obsessive are often stuck to a moment in the past and as long as they remain stuck in that time warp, they will not be able to get the things (be that a person, a job, a relationship, etc,) that exist right now. Sometimes when we are horribly traumatized by an event, we just get stuck. So if Person A lost Person B back in 2018, then while you and I are living it up here in 2023, they are still stuck in 2018, wondering why the people around them feel so weird and alien and not like they should. Imagine for a minute if 2018 you woke up in 2023. Would that 2018 version of you be horrified or scared or any range of troubling emotions? Of course. So we need to unstick them, and that basically involves helping them to accept that this traumatizing even has happened, and cannot unhappen. It's a whole different form of healing and often when you do it, if the person doesn't dig in and REFUSE to accept (which they will refuse to at least once or twice,) then once you've done this, the person doesn't want the ex back anymore, they were just stuck. This sounds weird but it's quite common. In fact most of us get stuck, we just only get stuck for a little bit. When you've been stuck for years, that's very difficult to process through. All it takes is very unexpected and shocking trauma, like if you legitimately found out your real dad is a giraffe, or if you discovered the sky is actually just a painted on ceiling - and could irrefutably prove both. But let's say they get past the stuck point and still want the ex back. Then you work reconciliation and road opening (both) until it looks like their is forgiveness brewing on both sides, then you hit this with really heavy love drawing and use intranquility on the "one that got away" and it should mend.
So is it possible to bring back an ex that has been gone for 5+ years? Yes, though it's a bit like bringing a new relationship together...just there is some baggage and someone you're working for might be very obsessive and prone to lust for results. :P
Also keep in mind, too many people confuse infatuation for love, and will complain that the "spark dies out," or that "love fades." This means they have not been in love and don't understand what it is. It's not that common to really deeply romantically love another person. You might love them and lust after their body, but that's not the same thing. Being in love is not always pleasant or fun, but you don't doubt it, it doesn't go away no matter what, and it certainly doesn't fade with time. If your petitioner says that they want it. to be like it was in the beginning forever, they are just looking to be infatuated and you're better off suggesting someone new. The newness of an old flame will wear off a lot faster and they will complain.
Second Prize:
Q: Can one improve one's ability to cast spells even if casting badly-put-together spells or spells that someone made up on the fly? (submitted by O.)
A: While it irks me to say this, yes you improve your focus and your will, so you will improve your ability, just as "going through the motions" and not using a lot of focus or exertion of will still can improve your abilities, though neither guarantee the spellwork will be effective.
So, let's say we have a very effective traditional spell which has been used successfully by many people. You have never cast a spell in your life, and along with your 0 experience, you also just really aren't a natural spellcaster and do not really take to it well. Now I come along with my lifetime of experience and my mad castin' skillz and I have to cast some cringey made up TikTok "spell" that someone thinks looks cool and has no basis in actual magic. Who will be more effective? Me. See even with some complete and utter bullshit, the fact that I exercise my will on a regular basis means I have the ability to twist things to my will, spell or no spell. You (if you are the you in our example,) are weaker than a newborn baby, and I work this ability several times a day every day, thus making me Superman in comparison to you.
So when you do a sucky spell, or one that someone just made up, you are still strengthening the very ability you need to really push your magic and give it some strength. The more you work that magic, the stronger you that ability becomes, just like working out a physical muscle. This doesn't mean you'll be successful, and the efficacy of the spell itself IS IMPORTANT. Think of it a bit like a car - I can get places without a car, but with the car, I will get to my destination much more quickly and tire myself out a heck of a lot less. Even the most skilled runners and walkers would prefer to go somewhere 40 miles away in a CAR than they would want to do so on foot. FURTHERMORE, plenty of 'creators of content' actually give very dangerous and stupid instructions for spells which could get the person casting the spell hurt! So good spells are very important as well.
Third prize:
Q: Why do some people suggest that one can get hurt by casting dark magic, and others claim this is not the case? Is it possible to be harmed casting positive spells? (Submitted by D.)
A: People often make such warnings to discourage others from practices they find unethical. Perhaps they believe these warnings for religious or spiritual purposes as well, and are warning others against spiritual harm. I do believe that someone can spiritually sicken themselves committing certain non-magical acts as well, though others may disagree, and I respect that they do.
That's not really a new subject though - what IS would be "can you be harmed by positive spells!" Which....yes, yes definitely.
So let's tackle some ways this could happen:
You could injure yourself in a few ways in just a normal physical accident, like cutting your hand, or heck even burning your house down with candles. It's not magical, just clumsiness and physics.
You could unintentionally go "too far." I've known people to do a cleansing spell that left them emotionally raw, or people who wanted to blockbuster all the stuff in their way who ended up burning up everything they did not need in their life (but many things they wanted,) which definitely propelled them forwards from a bad situation but was very painful.
You could get a stalker - sometimes love spells go too well.
You could not stay silent when you brag on your results, and you end up losing your love because you tell them you magicked them.
You could get a "monkey's paw manifestation," where you get what you want, but in the most horrible or undesirable way possible.
So, while I realize that's only three questions, everyone, I think we need to try again on the QYAM contest again soon. I will be more clear on the rules and hopefully grab more interest. :)
However for an added bonus I will offer a sale for the weekend (Friday 21-Sunday 23) which will give everyone a free 30 minute reading with purchase of the standard 1 week spellcasting, or a free hour long reading with purchase of 2 weeks.
~Cat