Cat's Rants - Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Questions You’ve Asked Me: August 2023 edition

Q: What is a good all-purpose type working to draw in positivity? I feel l am stuck in a rut, lately!

A: Roadopening is the best answer to many problems in cases such as these. I’ve shared a recipe for the oil here, and it’s a very easy formula to use. It can even be added to many spells to break down obstacles to the spell manifesting. Just add a few drops to the other oils being used in candle work for example.

Q: I broke up with my ex a month ago and have called them 100 times a day each day since we broke up (additionally I made fake accounts to spy on them and contact them through,) and even though they blocked me and avoid me, I am certain magic will help me. What should I do? 

A: Sadly, I get basically this exact scenario in my inbox at least once a week. Apparently multiple people feel doing the internet equivalent of chasing your ex down the street while wielding an axe to be totally normal and not scary at all. 

It’s very off-putting and even scary to some so trust me when I say you mustn’t do that if you want to get the person back. It won’t win them back and will, in fact, chase them much farther away than just breaking up did. 

The reality is the chances of getting this person back with any rapidity if you’ve engaged in this behavior are next to 0. That’s not even the worst news. The reality is if you’ve engaged in this type of behavior there’s a very low chance you could reconcile them at all though your chances of doing so rise more with each passing month you are not chasing them or stalking them. Which means while you may possibly reconcile them and bring them back, it’s usually going to be at the best about 5-6 weeks to get them back and more likely it will take months if you can succeed in so doing, during which time you cannot stalk them or lurk on their social media or try to make contact… a nearly impossible feat for the people who ask this question. Furthermore you need to avoid lust for results which is also nearly impossible for many people who have engaged in the above behaviors. 

But realize had you never chased this person very relentlessly, you would not be facing this problem, so continuing on like that will only make things worse. Use the time needed to let them calm and recover from this unwanted pursuit to work on yourself and your own mental well being. 

You will want to use reconciliation, love drawing and obsession (intranquility) working at a relatively frequent (at least once per month,) rate for success. I also recommend at least 30 days with no social media to help curb your own obsessive behavior. 

Q: Spellcasters are fake if they ever have any problems in their own lives, right? 

A: As much as real doctors never get sick or die, real lawyers never get in legal trouble, real psychiatrists never have mental health crisises, dentists never need dental work, mechanics cars never need repair, etc etc. The reality is that everyone has problems, and many people entered their field because they experienced problems and were looking for solutions to those problems. I assure you, if a spellcaster tells you that he or she has never experienced any problems, that is far more suspect. 

Sadly this question was brought to you by the Reddit comedy hour in which the group who claims I’m ranting like a narcissist to call them out claimed I can’t be real having had an argument with my husband 2 months ago. Oh and that he’s my boyfriend which is odd since no one I’ve worked for since I was on Reddit ever would have referred to him as so…meaning that it’s probably the girl who stalked him last year and tried to break us up who posted that and she was never a client so she’s not a good judge of how I run my business. Special thanks to those of you keeping me updated there as I get a laugh each time. I know all the culprits and several are the same girl who got fired around Xmas last year for breaking every rule of my business site. 

But that aside neither spell failure nor having problems in one’s life are the sign of a fake spellcaster. Fake spellcasters tend to require understanding spell work (at least one kind though multiple kinds is better) to identify where the person making false claims is clearly false. It’s difficult since people base “fake spellcaster” lists on either one bad review (I’ve worked for at least 5000 people in 20 years and probably more, even 100 bad reviews would mean nothing - that would be like a 2% dissatisfaction rate!) or make them to flatter their friends or themselves, and randomly choose victims for the fake list. Without knowing anything about spellcasting yourself, you really can’t be a great judge. Your best defense it to learn a bit about spellcasting yourself in order to see what tends to come off as painfully obvious falsehoods to the experienced caster. 

Q: I can’t leave an altar out due to cohabitation issues - what can I do?

A: Depending on your situation, you might make a movable altar set up, or you might try casting spells outside. I prefer the movable set up but if you’re literally never able to be alone in a room of your home for even an hour, outside in a secluded spot is your best bet. 

Q: I’ve been having severe money issues! The cost of living is crazy and has skyrocketed over the last year. I cast spell after spell but I’m still struggling! Are my spells failing? 

A: Assuming you’re not asking for anything well outside your sphere of availability, most likely the answer is you’re doing nothing wrong…we are just in a really shitty economy. When I met first Mr. NinjaCat almost twenty years ago, his hourly rate was very similar to what it is today - within five dollars I’d say. Think about that. The cost of living is nowhere near what it was 20 years ago! I used to be able to get a fair amount of groceries for $40 and now even stretching $40 I get maybe a third to a quarter of what I once could. I’m the last 3 years my rents have more than doubled from their original amount. Electricity prices have skyrocketed. Fuel prices are very high. People often don’t realize just how rural many parts of the United States are. 

The problem isn’t your magic as much as the sphere of availability for most of us is not matching the cost of living. Unless you are in a very high pay grade, you are probably struggling right now. You might actually work towards using spells to get certain benefits like food stamps (I know, no one wants to be in assistance but realistically it could help you financially,) or to try using magic to bring yourself more affordable housing or a better mortgage rate. Don’t focus just on what’s coming in but what’s going out as well. If you’re paying less for the things you need, you’re also keeping more money. 

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Alright that’s it for now on Questions You’ve Asked Me. Keep the questions coming!

~Cat

Questions You Asked Me Contest Winners

Hey there Occulties,

So this year I feel people really did not ask their best questions. Perhaps after 2 decades, I've managed to really get the best out of everyone, which I honestly hope I'm wrong in that regard. So very often, the questions in the QYAM contest were so inspiring to me and helped me really get more focused on what mattered to my readers, whereas sadly, this year, only a quarter of the entries qualified as suitable for entries. I didn't even ban repeat questions like I used to when qualifying entries. 

For example, business policies like "Why do you have x rule at your job?" are not going to be about Hoodoo or spellcasting. They are about why I personally do not find a certain business practice or do find a certain business practice useful. Questions about me personally also don't qualify. Not that someone specifically asked this but close enough so "Why are you a redhead? Are you still naturally a redhead? Were you ever naturally a redhead?" also has zero to do with spellcasting, Hoodoo, and/or the occult. Questions about Mr NinjaCat again also do not qualify....Mr NinjaCat doesn't even have a freaking proper name on my blog other than Mr NinjaCat or Mr NinjaCat the third. Questions regarding people we know or people I know in the occult world which are personal don't qualify. Most questions regarding my personal preference on this or that thing are not really going to qualify.

I even tried an added month but meh, so let's see the three that placed and hopefully next go around we will have a better crop. I am reasonably sure these are all repeats but it's alright, probably not too recently. All questions have been edited for clarity, and names have been edited to show only a first initial. The winners have been notified. 

First prize

Q: What is the best way to revive a relationship that ended several years previously using magic? Is it even possible after five years? (Submitted by R)

A: Without knowing any details as to why it ended or how contentious the break itself was, it would be difficult to entirely offer a fair answer as the circumstances could differ wildly, and I further do not know enough details regarding logistics, and availability of contact, shared friends etc - BUT let's just make this generic and say that while the break up was slightly contentious and both parties stopped speaking, they continued to have shared friends, did not stalk, harass, or insult each other through their friends or directly, and the relationship ended 6 years ago. Let's also say both parties are currently single. The best way to go about reviving this would be, in my opinion, to first do a very light reconciliation working. Something simple - even a pink candle with sugar, balm of gilead, pink rose petal and reconciliation oil - and once that has burned out, work the situation like a new relationship, like to draw a specific person. You might even do road opening rather than reconciliation if both parties are "over" the relationship (which clearly is untrue if you're doing love work to bring it back,) but the main part of the working would be to treat it as if you had an old friend you realized is just single and you want to get together with them, and use love attraction and love drawing. Avoid using too much red magic (lust rather than love,) as it can draw up anger and you have to be secure that neither half of the couple is still retaining any residual anger from all those years ago. Still, this is not a bad situation, and a positive outcome is very plausible here as the couple has had plenty of time apart to overcome their troubles and the troublesome behavior that led to their break up many years ago. 

Now let's say you ask me this about a relationship that ended terribly, where they don't speak, one person stalked the other for a few years, they share no friends in common, but for some bizarre reason they do both still have each other's numbers, even though one moved far away a few years ago and it's been six years since the break up. So, let's say it's really a bad situation. Hell, even me, who loves trying to fix horrible love problems would not want to take this on... But, I guess let's say I'm being forced at gunpoint to fix it, ha ha. In that case, I'd start with figuring out the break up itself. Why did it happen?  Would it happen again? So, if someone is stalking their target to the point of it being disturbing, you start by calming them, you heal them, you try to bring that anxiety and obsession down. This is nothing you'd do for hire, because this will be slow. This will be at least a few months. Unfortunately until this person is in a better place, they will kill spellwork with lust for results. Are they better? Oh, you only think so. See, the next problem we need to deal with is that people who are this obsessive are often stuck to a moment in the past and as long as they remain stuck in that time warp, they will not be able to get the things (be that a person, a job, a relationship, etc,) that exist right now. Sometimes when we are horribly traumatized by an event, we just get stuck. So if Person A lost Person B back in 2018, then while you and I are living it up here in 2023, they are still stuck in 2018, wondering why the people around them feel so weird and alien and not like they should. Imagine for a minute if 2018 you woke up in 2023. Would that 2018 version of you be horrified or scared or any range of troubling emotions? Of course. So we need to unstick them, and that basically involves helping them to accept that this traumatizing even has happened, and cannot unhappen. It's a whole different form of healing and often when you do it, if the person doesn't dig in and REFUSE to accept (which they will refuse to at least once or twice,) then once you've done this, the person doesn't want the ex back anymore, they were just stuck. This sounds weird but it's quite common. In fact most of us get stuck, we just only get stuck for a little bit. When you've been stuck for years, that's very difficult to process through. All it takes is very unexpected and shocking trauma, like if you legitimately found out your real dad is a giraffe, or if you discovered the sky is actually just a painted on ceiling - and could irrefutably prove both. But let's say they get past the stuck point and still want the ex back. Then you work reconciliation and road opening (both) until it looks like their is forgiveness brewing on both sides, then you hit this with really heavy love drawing and use intranquility on the "one that got away" and it should mend.

So is it possible to bring back an ex that has been gone for 5+ years? Yes, though it's a bit like bringing a new relationship together...just there is some baggage and someone you're working for might be very obsessive and prone to lust for results. :P 

Also keep in mind, too many people confuse infatuation for love, and will complain that the "spark dies out," or that "love fades." This means they have not been in love and don't understand what it is. It's not that common to really deeply romantically love another person. You might love them and lust after their body, but that's not the same thing. Being in love is not always pleasant or fun, but you don't doubt it, it doesn't go away no matter what, and it certainly doesn't fade with time. If your petitioner says that they want it. to be like it was in the beginning forever, they are just looking to be infatuated and you're better off suggesting someone new. The newness of an old flame will wear off a lot faster and they will complain. 

Second Prize:

Q: Can one improve one's ability to cast spells even if casting badly-put-together spells or spells that someone made up on the fly? (submitted by O.)

A: While it irks me to say this, yes you improve your focus and your will, so you will improve your ability, just as "going through the motions" and not using a lot of focus or exertion of will still can improve your abilities, though neither guarantee the spellwork will be effective.

So, let's say we have a very effective traditional spell which has been used successfully by many people. You have never cast a spell in your life, and along with your 0 experience, you also just really aren't a natural spellcaster and do not really take to it well. Now I come along with my lifetime of experience and my mad castin' skillz and I have to cast some cringey made up TikTok "spell" that someone thinks looks cool and has no basis in actual magic. Who will be more effective? Me. See even with some complete and utter bullshit, the fact that I exercise my will on a regular basis means I have the ability to twist things to my will, spell or no spell. You (if you are the you in our example,) are weaker than a newborn baby, and I work this ability several times a day every day, thus making me Superman in comparison to you. 

So when you do a sucky spell, or one that someone just made up, you are still strengthening the very ability you need to really push your magic and give it some strength. The more you work that magic, the stronger you that ability becomes, just like working out a physical muscle. This doesn't mean you'll be successful, and the efficacy of the spell itself IS IMPORTANT. Think of it a bit like a car - I can get places without a car, but with the car, I will get to my destination much more quickly and tire myself out a heck of a lot less. Even the most skilled runners and walkers would prefer to go somewhere 40 miles away in a CAR than they would want to do so on foot. FURTHERMORE, plenty of 'creators of content' actually give very dangerous and stupid instructions for spells which could get the person casting the spell hurt! So good spells are very important as well. 

Third prize:

Q: Why do some people suggest that one can get hurt by casting dark magic, and others claim this is not the case? Is it possible to be harmed casting positive spells? (Submitted by D.)

A: People often make such warnings to discourage others from practices they find unethical. Perhaps they believe these warnings for religious or spiritual purposes as well, and are warning others against spiritual harm. I do believe that someone can spiritually sicken themselves committing certain non-magical acts as well, though others may disagree, and I respect that they do. 

That's not really a new subject though - what IS would be "can you be harmed by positive spells!" Which....yes, yes definitely. 

So let's tackle some ways this could happen:

You could injure yourself in a few ways in just a normal physical accident, like cutting your hand, or heck even burning your house down with candles. It's not magical, just clumsiness and physics. 

You could unintentionally go "too far." I've known people to do a cleansing spell that left them emotionally raw, or people who wanted to blockbuster all the stuff in their way who ended up burning up everything they did not need in their life (but many things they wanted,) which definitely propelled them forwards from a bad situation but was very painful. 

You could get a stalker - sometimes love spells go too well. 

You could not stay silent when you brag on your results, and you end up losing your love because you tell them you magicked them. 

You could get a "monkey's paw manifestation," where you get what you want, but in the most horrible or undesirable way possible. 

So, while I realize that's only three questions, everyone, I think we need to try again on the QYAM contest again soon. I will be more clear on the rules and hopefully grab more interest. :)

However for an added bonus I will offer a sale for the weekend (Friday 21-Sunday 23) which will give everyone a free 30 minute reading with purchase of the standard 1 week spellcasting, or a free hour long reading with purchase of 2 weeks. 

~Cat

Questions You've Asked Me: December 2022 Edition

Hey Occulties,

Stuck at my once a week retail side hustle and since it's incredibly slow die to the storm, I had time to make you this. :)

Q: Can I bless and curse someone simultaneously?

A: Possibly. It depends on whether one is going to contradict the other. If I curse someone to have their relationship break up, and then simultaneously cast reconciliation magic on the target couple, I would basically be working against myself. If I want my coworker to get fired and I curse them to get fired, then work magic to get this person a job ANYWHERE BUT where I work, I am actually, if I do this right, not causing a situation where one spell counteracts the other. It can take a bit of maneuvering but I can both cause misfortune and good fortune to a target simultaneously without one spell negatively impacting the other. Just keep in mind that if you are doing something like causing someone emotional distress intentionally (as some spells use this as a trigger,) that healing work done simultaneously may cause the first spell to be less effective. 

Q: Do I need to do "maintenance work" on a situation for the rest of my natural life?

A: Well, that depends on the situation we are working on. Let's first remember that some situations are what I term "evolving," and some are "set." So by this I mean, my financial situation as a whole is a constantly evolving thing. This may be somewhat less so for someone with a fixed paycheck, but still holds true for most of us. We all have better and worse financial years. So this is an evolving situation, and one singular money spell is likely to impact your financial situation only for about 2-3 months. HOWEVER, a "set" situation involving money might be getting a job. If I want a specific job and use magic to get it, once I get the job, so long as I show up to work and do my best at this job, I should not have to be concerned that the spell will wane as it has done what I wanted it to do - it got me the job. I should not be concerned about needing to do more work on the situation unless I want a promotion or a different job. 

So if I do maintenance work on a money situation, this is generally done to keep money flowing into me either via more sales (so if you make your living "per sale," this is something you would want to continually do,) or from other sources like people owe me money or I find money in the street, etc. I would not need to do maintenance work to keep my job (unless I really mess up at my job, or even the company is having a lot of lay offs, etc.) 

Our love lives can be both "set" and "evolving," so that depends on how our situations as a whole are. If my partner is attentive and loving and I have no problems in the relationship, I don't necessarily need to do anything. If we suffered a break or are arguing, I might use love work until the situation rights itself. BUT, once I am happy with my relationship, then I do not require maintenance work, although there is a fair share of those who work it anyhow.

So, if you're asking this question because magic ain't cheap (to do on your own or have another do,) the answer is you don't NEED TO DO maintenance work on a situation you've had work done on if you are happy with the result, but some people do this kind of work as sort of a method of preventative care in their life or to maintain the strength of a particular blessing (like increased sales.) 

Q: Does the spiritual body have DNA like the physical body?

A: Well, I mean, clearly it can't have physical DNA, but I would say that everyone's spirit does seem to have a unique signature all of its own which is likely the equivalent of spiritual DNA. Furthermore as I discussed in a previous post, it does seem we can inherit conditions from our physical ancestors in our spirit body, which tells me there is something to the idea that it works similarly like our genes might give us Mom's nose, or Grandpa's green eyes. 

The spiritual body is very much like the physical body and follows similar rules thereto in many ways.

Q: You know your advice sometimes is just dating advice - so maybe that's why love spells work?

A: You'd be right to understand that the biggest hurdle in social-based spells is a low social IQ or a very panicked person, so it definitely helps them a lot. The amount of time I have to explain in a given week that you give someone space when they ask for space, or that not everyone likes he same "remedy" for the same "ailment" (in other words if I feel upset or angry leave me the fuck alone whereas other people want to be waited on and/or cuddled,) that you can't annoy someone into loving you, constantly controlling partners are unmanageably insecure and generally feel they own people rather than love them etc is not a small number. Many people - even socially skilled people - get nervous and panicky and this advice is quite helpful to prevent little social blunders and speed manifestation.

I understand the tone of sarcasm and doubt, especially if you are in an emotionally secure environment and not a panicked or desperate headspace. However I have had several clients, friends, readers, and even moments for myself where I read some of those articles when I am hurt and panicky and the advice helps ME, and I'm the author. It's quite alright to need a little advice if you're feeling cornered or upset or just not having a good day.

So yeah, that love advice really helps the love spells but if you don't use it, they often do just fine as is...unless (as I am known to say,) you chase your target down the street with an axe (or more realistically do something shitty like steal from them, etc.) as you still have to work with the spell not against it.

Q: I know you say that fast results can be tenuous results but is that always true?

A: No, but often and since this is most often said to me by very panicked upset broken hearted people who aren't reasonably thinking, I have to say that a few weeks for some of them to calm down might be better just on its own. I've sent people away saying I could not help THIS MONTH merely as they weren't ready, and most who came back thanked me and said I was right that they needed that because they took the month to straighten their head out a bit and feel much better.

If you WANT it now, that is one thing. If you NEED it to survive (and love is not going to fall under this, though it can feel like that,) like you need to pay rent or eat, that is another. So if you just WANT it right this second, then perhaps you should wisely allow the spellwork to take the time it needs to give you a lasting result. If you'll be on the street in 3 days if you don't pay the landlord, then you go use the stuff that's always fast. 

The spell takes the time it needs to manifest. If it was close to happening on it's own, or it was not far out of the grasp and well within the petitioner or practitioner's sphere of availability or if the target is exceptionally suggestive, it won't take very long at all usually.

And for the twenty zillionth time, STOP WORRYING THE WORK TO DEATH. I'd like it if it was normal for most spells to manifest in 48 hours or less, too, but more because the inability of some of you to understand that's not actually average or expected for a manifestation window, and that nagging me has no positive effects (it just pisses me off, and the spell doesn't care since it's not ME, it's a spell,) nor will it speed up your results. Fantasizing, worrying about the problem or people involved, trying to figure out how it might manifest or just hovering over your intended's social media are all forms of this.

Q: Illustrate even one "Don't pick a fight you can't win" magic battles ever! That crap is from comic books, isn't it?

A: No. I'll give you three. A man I worked for once was very rude to a reader, and told her off. He'd lost money in the past and I guess was just full of himself, but even I chided him for being rude. Within a week no one could stand him. I couldn't stand him. His own mom couldn't stand him. Everyone just could not stand being around him. I don't know what curse that woman put on him, but it took three weeks to take off, and I assure you, unless things have changed, he learned his lesson to not be so rude to someone who might practice again. He wasn't physically harmed, mind you, but being in his presence was like having someone scrape their fingernails down a chalkboard non stop. Every time he was around you, you just found him beyond irritating to the point of wanting to yell at him or get away from him as long as he was away. I still want that curse because it was a doozy...but not as bad as the next.

There's a VERY STUPID TREND of using cord cutting to do a break up. It's not a new idea, it's just not one I'd suggest for many reasons. I've never been a fan of this kind of work as it is not even really a great idea if you're one half of the couple outside of a NECESSITY (the bonds of love that tie us are not meant to be severed any more than you are told to chop roots off a plant for its health,) and I mean...abusive situations, and so forth. It's overused. BUT, if you're a "third party" when used to break up a couple, you better be sure neither person in the couple knows magic. One of several of these stories is that a chick had fallen for a guy at her workplace, and she had some Etsy person do a cord cutting between either his wife or long term girlfriend (he's partner of a long while) because he'd been flirting and fooling around with her. Well, his wife/partner/girlfriend just so happened to practice (Bruja or Santeria,) and so she immediately noticed. The girl got pregnant but the affair didn't work out. He kept going back to his wife/partner/girlfriend, so she just assumed spells didn't work (all spells). When the baby was born, it caught itself on the umbilical cord during delivery and died from asphixiation. She never told her lover about the spells she'd done of course, and she never had met the wife/long-term, but she received sympathy flowers from a few people and one had a card from the wife (or she suspects as there was only an initial and it was of the woman's first name as the signature,) that read "Guess you cut the wrong cord." She came to me asking if I'd go after the wife, but given the situation (she did try to break up their household,) and the fact that wifey was clearly a badass, I told her that outright cursing was basically asking for worse, and asking for justice when she was the one who attacked first probably wouldn't bring results. I believe she ultimately gave up going after the woman she tried to displace. That's some pretty stone cold fucking revenge for cutting a cord that wasn't hers to cut, so I can understand why. 

And lastly, there was a fellow I heard of who was threatening a practitioner's kid and picking specifically on the kid as a parent of a little clique. He was just a loud mouth asshole guy yelling horrible things at adolescent kids and making huge threats, but it got to the point that the spellcaster (who I think was in the provervbial broom closet,) got sick of it because his kid was coming home in tears on the regular, and the last straw was the guy had physically grabbed his child by the shirt collar and terrified the kid. Knowing the man to have some addiction issues in the past, he began to bring those urges back, while also knowing the man had some PTSD from some sort of crazy vehicular accident in his youth, he found an image of one of the people who had died in the accident and made some sort of being (like an eregore) that looked like the dead person to follow this man around and to only be visible to him. Lastly, he asked me about a pepper curse I know (which is why I know the story,) and did that. Within a few months, the man was in a mental hospital, and I can't substantiate this but I'm told he's dead a few years later having immediately intentionally overdosed on pills shortly after getting out of the hospital. 

Dear readers, I'm not trying to scare you. Those stories range from light smacks to literally people dying, so magic isn't just a toy to play with, or a consequence-free way of getting your every desire. It may not be that you will suffer "bad karma," because the biggest risk is really you knock into something or someone bigger than yourself. You know like texting while driving, you never get hurt until you do. It's always been safe until it isn't. So, like anything else, you need to exercise caution because if you're not prepared to handle a woman or man who feels you insulted them to the point you need to learn a lesson, or that you outright threatened them or someone they love to the point you might not even have a right to exist anymore, then when I say  be judicious in spells cast on other people, please understand, I say this not because I'm judging you for cursing someone or wanting their hot body as much as...at some point you might run into someone meaner than yourself, so be sure you're ready if you do. 

Q: I can't get my lover to stop cheating! Is there any way I can force their fidelity!?

A: In theory, but...like I've said before, it this person can't keep it in their pants, - that is to say, they have always been incapable of fidelity, and not just with you - you are more likely to cause them physical injury than keep them sexually faithful, at least for any long term. If that's a deal breaker, you should not stay with them. When you love someone, you have to love them entirely, and that means accepting the bad parts, too. You can't change someone's nature...they just fight it. It's like just because you can put a dry land suit on a fish doesn't mean it will ever enjoy living on land like we do, or if you put on a diving suit that doesn't give you all the powers of a fish...it is your nature to be a land creature and it's nature to live in the sea. Even if you fed a bunny nothing but meat (if you didn't kill the poor thing,) it isn't going to become a carnivore, anymore than a tiger will be vegetarian. So while you may get a person to change a bit, the reality is you aren't going to to make something that is instinctive and normal to them suddenly stop. If you can't take the cheating (and no one blames you if you can't,) find a less sexually promiscuous partner, and let that one go. 

Hope that was educational! :) 

~Cat

 

Questions You've Asked Me, November 2022 edition

Hey occulties,

Time for another version of Questions You've Asked Me, where I publicly post answers to some questions I've received.

Q: I feel like I've accumulated spiritual gunk or that I'm hexed - what do I do?

A: First please know that I write an occult blog and I work with other occultists, and the amount of times someone has tried to hex me is small, and the amount of times someone succeeded is even smaller (because I have protections in place) but if that's so when I am in a position where more people are apt to view me as a target, then the likelihood someone has cursed you in some way is terribly small. So, that's good! But it's more common to accumulate spiritual gunk - think of this like just because I didn't fall in a mud puddle today, it doesn't mean my body didn't get dirty just from living. I've sweated, I've had dust kick up, etc. Spiritual gunk is similar, you sort of get a residue from the energies you encounter and it can make your etheric body feel weighed down. The easiest fix is a salt bath. Pour salt in a hot bath, place your right hand over the water, say the 23rd psalm (the Lord is my shepherd), and then get in the tub, immerse yourself, then stand and wash down (head to feet.) I usually just drain the tub and take my regular shower after even though traditionally one should air dry themselves. This is definitely not going to solve being hexed - it's more to cleanse off light amounts of spiritual detrius. HOWEVER most of my readers realize it's all that they need.

If you feel like you've really been hexed or someone is working on you, you can always contact me. I'm glad to help judge if this is the problem. However, from that standpoint you should keep in mind that not all hexes can be reversed similarly. Your standard low-level lay-person practitioner will likely use something that is just as easily taken off as it was to put it on. However, someone who really knows what they are doing probably isn't throwing curses out lightly, and you either attacked them or they perceived you as an attacker coming after them or someone under their protection, and they will not be as apt to use something easily taken off, or will use something that if you don't know how to take it off, it might actually cause greater damage to try to use alternate methods. 

The problem you will run into is that it's a great big old scam to tell you that you are cursed - and them the charlatan says "And it will only cost ten thousand dollars and a trip to Tahiti and for you to send all of your money to me to be cleansed to remove the horrid curse upon ye!!" The amount of times I've actually had a person in my inbox complaining of a curse and they really were cursed is very small. I don't know if I see this condition even once per year. I feel badly telling people that they are cursed when they are because scammers tell people this every single day and it's so rarely true. I'm glad to tell you if you are or are not cursed 100% free of charge, however time is a precious resource I have very little of and I can't give you personalized solutions as that would be a formidable amount of unpaid work. What I will say is if you are hexed or if you are not likely hexed, and you can always see our old friend Karma Zain over at SeraphinStation.com for her Jinx-Killer bath which will take off a fair amount of negative spiritual conditions (and is cheaper than employing me,) or you can take the above mentioned salt bath, or even get a bath out of Draja Mickaharic's book Magical Baths and make it yourself. I'm also glad to be hired for help, but as there are many solutions that do not require it of me, I figured I'd offer a few others as well. :)

Also try to remember a few simple rules to avoid getting hexed at all:

First and foremost don't pick fights with anyone bigger and badder than yourself (magically and socially speaking) if you can avoid them. I realize David fought Goliath and won, but in most cases if you pick a fight with Goliath, you'll be a getting scraped off of the proverbial pavement. I've seen it go down a fair number of times where someone picked a fight with the wrong person and paid dearly, but you know, it's not like the attacker made any public spectacle or fired a warning shot in every case, so you may never see the return blow coming your way until you're hit. I know some occultists I would strongly recommend you do not fuck with, and they would totally fuck you up and thensome, but they are rarely the ones you need to worry about picking a fight with. Unless you do something stupid like try to wreck their marriage, or their job, or go after their family in some way, they will probably see you as annoying and not even bother with your petty trivial bullshit. They'll nerf your attack and you won't be able to do much to them. It's the people who are probably at about your level who are going to be the ones who really size you up and go in for a fight. So how do you avoid that? I would say be a good person and don't attack people. So don't break up relationships or ruin marriages, don't get people fired from their jobs, don't steal their money or valuables, don't attack their families, don't talk a bunch of gossip or lie about someone, and don't throw spells around like Yosemite Sam shooting his guns off and you'll be just fine. 

Second thing is be able to identify a spellcaster. There's a lot of them out there. You can usually pick them out and while most are incredibly low-level at what they do, sort of like hobbyists at it, it's still someone who if you cross them or upset them might come after you, and so if you break the first rule, you can have some better idea as to where the attack might come from, although plenty of people who don't know spells employ people who do, so that's not always helpful. Heck, an old spellcaster trick is to get your spellcaster friend to curse for you so that anyone saying your attacks get reflected is uselessly trying to deflect an attack because you're not the one attacking. If I'm not the one throwing a punch, trying to block my punches doesn't prevent the guy behind you from clubbing you in the head, so it's similar with spellcasting...you would not block the curse. 

Third, keep some spiritual protection on you at all times. Remember, an amulet is meaningless and will not help you if you have no faith in it, so just wearing a cross is not likely to protect an atheist. You don't need to believe in any religion, but you would be well advised to find some being you do believe and have faith as being capable of protecting you spiritually. That's not up to me to tell you who or what that is. It's going to be something that's different from person to person. Once you have found this protector, or protection, you should wear an amulet or talisman representative of said protector at all times. This is enormously helpful in repelling spiritual attack, especially from the armchair spellcaster set. :) 

Q: How important is the Moon in regards to spellcasting?

A: That isn't a one size fits all answer, unfortunately. Jake Stratton-Kent has spoken before about how there are different aspects to different spirits when one takes into account varying astrological occurrances, so the St Michael Archangel you call to you in one hour of one specific day of one specific year is not necessarily a different St Michael Archangel a week later at a different time of day and hour etc, but rather is a different aspect of this being. This means you might have called the protector one day, and then the warrior the next. And I can say I've found certain spirits to behave differently at different times of day, but to also be more active and lively at different times of year, and it does seem to correspond to where they are said to come from (ie East, West, North, South,) as well what planet correspondence some have (ie if they are solar, lunar, mercurial, venusian, martial, jovial, etc.) so while I certainly can't say this with the authority JSK has on the topic (being that his knowledge would outweigh my own,) I can back up that this seems to hold weight. So clearly, the moon might have a very strong impact on spirit conjure and working with spirits...

And then you get to what if you have a relationship with them. Again, the above would hold weight because the behaviors can be noticeably different, but then...many venusian spirits also tend to dislike bad weather which isn't astrological and there are spirits who hate noise, and those that hate bad smells or love bad smells, or hate the indoors...all of this meaning you're dealing with a being that does have preferences and a personality, and when you get to know it well enough it develops a sort of bond with you and it does not seem to me that spirits are necessarily barred from making contact regardless of the moon or seasons. It seems more like the astrology part is like office hours for contacting them.

Now when we talk about like love spells, or money spells or etc, it's not something one can't work around. You know I do prefer to work using the proper planet hours and planet days, and the right solar cycle as well as proper moon cycle, but if you're just starting out, you should be most worried about getting the spell right. Use a solar cycle if you can't use a lunar (ie dawn to noon is like 1st and 2nd quarter, and noon to sunset is 3rd, 4th quarter,) but keep in mind because the lunar cycle takes longer, it is a bit stronger than just a solar cycle in regards to how much power it adds. 

If the spell you are trying to work goes on and on and on about the importance of any planet cycle, you may as well stick with it. I'm all for learning how to do something right before you just put on your creative hat and hurt yourself (which is all too often the consequence of the bad advice of "do what your intuition tells you when you're hugely inexperienced and know nothing," gets you.) 

Is it so important it can't be worked around? Usually not. Do you know several ways to work around it (name at least three without looking in a book or online or etc,)? If you know how to work around the moon cycles without having to mind them much you likely wouldn't ask me the question, so it isn't so end-all, be-all as many people make it out to be. However, if you need to ask this question, it's probably pretty important you learn how to use lunar cycles properly and why and how you use them in spellcasting. 

TL:DR - It IS something you should learn, but probably not worth a meltdown if you cast a spell in the wrong moon quarter. 

Q: How long do you need to spellcast for a thing you want before you know it is time to give up or that your spells haven't worked? Is there like a suggested time limit?

A: This falls under a pretty common "how long is this going to take" question that I've answered and everyone hates the answer because the only honest answer is "as long as it needs to." Even I hate that answer. And of course there's always the caveat that it may never work. That's not as common as you fear...it's just sometimes it works when you could give not one shit about the thing you'd so wanted not but a month before...and now here it is in your life. Oh, boo. I've even had situations where something manifested and I didn't know until a few years later (and I mean it didn't take a few years, I just legit forgot I did it, and then the target of whatever spell I did told me all about the effects at some way later date and I thought "Oh yeah, I forgot I did that," whilst they recounted this story to me,) so...you know, it's not unheard of to deal with a manifestation that doesn't suit a nice comfy time frame. Are you counting the days? If not, good. Did you put a death clock on the manifestation? If not, good. If you can let it go and push the situation out of your mind it should take *ON AVERAGE* anywhere from 1-5 weeks. If you haven't seen any results in three months, *ON AVERAGE* that means there is about a 65-75% chance it did not work.

While that is the answer some of you were seeking, some of you are more asking me "Am I throwing myself at something that will never come to be." Look, there are times something isn't yours to have or you think you want someone but you want the to be something they aren't, or you want to stay at a bad job because it's familiar, not because it's good, etc. I am glad to try to give you an OPINION if I think that's what is going on in your life, but it's not my place to tell you to give up. I will tell you if I think you are devoted to a cause that is not what you think it is but you need to decide if you want to keep trying. 

I say this a lot, but some people cling to love relationships because they don't want to lose or for the wrong reasons. Don't stay together for the kids (you'll mess them up more,) don't have a baby to save the relationship (it won't, and you'll probably just mess that kid up,) but most people know that advice. If they cheated on their spouse to be with you, they won't stay with you is another one everyone knows (also never get involved with someone else's partner as your value plummets and they won't stay but the impact they have on your social value remains forever)... But the big one people forget is...just because you weren't ready to break up with someone and you both broke up doesn't mean they are the one who got away. When I was a younger woman, I couldn't stand being broken up with, so I'd bring the guy back and then I'd be like "He's really not my type," and after all that work to bring him back, I'd leave him two weeks after he came back. I've seen a fair share of clients do that, too. It's probably a third of reconciliation cases where it's just the client wasn't ready for the break up so now they want what they feel was unfairly taken from them. This isn't every reconciliation case (I get a glut of emails with people terrified it is every time i say this,) because I've seen plenty of cases where it is not the case (2/3 of them, probably, are not just someone wasn't ready to break up,) and you know you can have a relationship that looks like bullshit on the surface that is a lot more, but you know, you need to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself why you need them back. Why is it you want them to stay. What are the odds you need to battle to keep them with you. But at the end of the day, you are the one who has to decide when you've tried enough to get this person to be in your life or come back to it and you give up. 

If you keep trying and nothing is happening months and months later, you need to assess your goals and see if you need to alter them. That's true with job spells, with love spells...with most anything, but the one people tend to most get stuck on is how long do I work on a person before I give up. To find the answer you need to assess how you came together, how the relationship has progressed and if you are sticking with something because it's familiar or because you want something that can't come to be, or you just hate losing. 

Hope that is some help and doesn't create drama. 

Q: If you're so pissed about chargebacks, why not just do a money spell and have more money?

A: Let's say I pay you $100 to wash my car. You wash the car while I'm at home and while I don't see you do it, I come out to a washed car. Then 2 weeks later when you have paid several bills and have $32.50 in your account, with absolutely no warning, I decide you did a bad job, and so I debit your account $150. I never asked for a refund, and I didn't warn you I wanted one. I just take it, and it's more than you were ever paid to wash the car. I don't account for the cost of the materials you used to wash the car, either. I just steal from you. This is essentially what a chargeback is. It doesn't matter if you have $9000 in your account and can cover it. It's outright theft and costs the victim well more than what you stole. The most recent cunt I posted about a day or two ago has at this writing racked up fees and fines of over $2000 just because it was stolen at just the right moment. I think the financial snowball has stopped but I'll expect over $2000 if this person wishes to speak to me again because they are due all damages caused by their theft. 

However that should illustrate to you why it makes anyone angry. You literally do the equivalent of theft. And then you do not think about the fines and fees associated because you steal more than you get back. And you may have made serious consequences you don't know about because you didn't have the spine to speak to the merchant. 99 out of 100 chargebacks should end with the person who did the chargeback getting a hand cut off for theft. If you paid for something willingly, you shouldn't get a forced refund in most cases, especially if you did not exhaustively try to contact the merchant. That doesn't mean one day you didn't get a reply, it means like you told them several times (so well more than 2) that you were unhappy and needed to speak to them. I will assure you, almost every merchant will work with the unhappy customer to make them happy, but zero of them will work with a thief. 

So...I'm more pissed that the person is a thief than I am about the money. It really comes down to that. It means some chickenshit with no brains and no guts stole from me, and all because they were too slimy and spineless to literally just talk to me, and now there's a good chance I have to make an example out of them. 

Keep in mind, certain pay processors don't let you know that this is what a "dispute" comes down to, and so you are literally ignorant to what a piece of shit action you have made. The way to avoid this is literally TALK TO THE MERCHANT EXHAUSTIVELY because otherwise you may very well just be nothing more than absolute garbage and basically stealing because you got mildly annoyed someone didn't reply to your email fast enough or forgot to add glitter to your Etsy order or shipped something a day later than expected, or something equally trivial.

It's not the money, it's the thievery. If I want money, I don't go steal it out of the pockets of people I paid for a good or service, - I go earn it. I recommend my method since stealing can come with some pretty bad consequences.

Q: Will a fertility spell give me a baby when I have no uterus but have ovaries?

A: No, you require a womb to grow a baby in but you might use a fertility spell on a surrogate mother when implanting embryos. 

Hope this was educational! If you need to find me you know where to find me! 

~Cat

Questions You’ve Asked Me: August 2022 edition

Hey occulties!

Here I am back with another edition of Questions You’ve Asked Me - where I supply all the answers to your insightful questions - because…

So let’s remember, I try to avoid answering things like can I turn you into a vampire or will magic make you shoot fireballs out if your eyeballs if you just say the right incantations?

Lets get started:

Q: What do you mean when you say a comfortable target is a harder target to influence?

A: This nearly always pertains to matters of the heart, but sometimes to business situations as well. Basically, if I have no reason to make a change as I am content with the status quo, chances are, no matter how strongly you make me feel loving towards you, nor how strongly you might make me view you as successful and worthy of a good position, i will not change the situation. So, if you and I are in a non-exclusive relationship, and I’m perfectly happy with the arrangement, I am not likely to suggest we make it mutually exclusive because I feel a strong surge of love and lust for you. Rather, if I was pleased with that arrangement, I would be likely to change it only if I feel not doing so would mean loss of the affection or love, ie, discomfort which has been created by a sense of insecurity. 

So when we do magic on a situation like this, usually we will want to alter the situation so that the target becomes possessive through the use of obsession work, or the target geeks the status quo has changed by our slightly altering our own behavior towards that target.

Similarly, in a business/success type working, after doing the work to, for example, get a promotion, the petitioner is not only wise to apply for it ask for the promotion, but sometimes to also tactfully alert his or her boss or manager that he or she is also looking at other better paying jobs at other companies, this giving those in a position to give that promotion an incentive so that they will not lose the services of the petitioner. 

Uncomfortable people welcome positive change, but if your target is very content with the current status quo, without some discomfort, it’s harder to get that target to make the desired changes. 

Q: if you’re so good at magic, why don’t you solve the world’s problems? 🥴

A: I never suggested I was some God-like entity or that your standard adept practitioner of magic would or should claim such power or be given so much. If I were a gifted oncologist, it would be equally ridiculous to believe I should be able to cure every patient’s cancer, plus cure the whole world of cancer, while incapable of getting cancer. Doctors get sick and lawyers have legal issues too… so realistically, being gifted at some skill does not mean you should suddenly possess God like powers… even professional swimmers can drown. Furthermore possessing magical skill does not mean I’ve got a saint like disposition. If I truly had so much power, why not become the richest woman alive and make you all my slaves? Ah because just having great skill has never suggested I’d have that much power. 

This tedious stinker has been coming up a lot lately, so despite it being a stupid question, now it’s answered. 

Q: Why do some people only cast love spells on Fridays?

A: Friday is ruled by Venus, who is the goddess of love, so, put simply, it is helpful to use the influence of Venus in love spells. However Monday (Moon) and Wednesday (Mercury,) also work very well with love spells. I actually find using a Venus planetary hour on a Monday to be very beneficial for casting reconciliation spells, so just understanding which planets rule each day of the week is helpful, but if you also understand planetary hours (which, believe it or not, there are apps for this now,) you can use both planet’s influences on your spellwork, to help strengthen your spell and give a stronger push towards manifesting your desired outcome.

Q: What beginner misconceptions are your current peeves!?

 

A: Hmm, my current top five? As of this date in no particular order… The belief that tiktok is going to teach you anything real about magic (I have yet to see it.) The idea that a spell didn’t work when only a few days have passed (they sometimes take weeks to manifest.) That it’s acceptable or encouraged to post images of a non manifested spell to a group or website when you are literally killing your own work (to keep silent about a non manifested spell is paramount to success, and being as that is one of the four tenets of spellcasting, it’s so elementary that it’s shocking how few people know it.) The bizarre increase in people who read a book once or cast one spell and now announce they are the chosen of (insert spirit/god/dead name here) - trust me, it’s very unlikely they will pick you as their chosen what with the fact you’re posturing like an adept but can’t even cast a spell without checking a book over and over and over and over to be sure you even have your days of the week right. That spirit conjure is trendy and by that reason has attracted so many wannabe followers who are creating a weird watered down, homogenized pseudo-conjure fad that is really…ummmmm… yeah it’s not that bad-ass old school stuff but more like if you tried to make an anime aimed at 13 year olds about conjure. Not sure that is a misconception but it’s weird all the same.

 

Q: will my spell “backfire” if I use the wrong day of the week or moon cycle?

 

A: Spells don’t backfire in the sense that they do the opposite of their intended purpose, so for starters, stop using “backfire” to describe the issue. But can using the wrong planet day ot hour have an undesirable affect on a spell? Certainly. For example, reconciliation spells should not be begin on a Tuesday as Tuesday is ruled by Mars, the God of War. If you do not mind this advice, you may find the target/s getting in a crazy fight before they reconcile as if that fight is needed to reconcile. So while someone with a limited understanding might refer to that as “backfiring,” the couple still reconciled and that isn’t the case. Or someone looking for a promotion may find by using a Saturn hour or day that their new position requires a large amount of extra duties and obligations, for example. Just because you do not like the contract, however, the promotion being given means the spell did not backfire. 

Lunar correspondences when used are helpful but are more dependent on the “growth” or “shrinking” of the moon (how the moon appears to wax or wane) to grow or to lessen an influence. Using the wrong moon cycle may give your working less strength but will often give the impression that the spell “fizzled” more than it had an undesirable impact. 

 

Alright kids, I’ll try to write a part 2 for this months QYAM, but it had been awhile since I wrote up any article at all so I wanted to get something up!! ❤️

~Cat

Questions You’ve Asked Me, March 2022 edition

Hey Occulties,

While Im sure there will be repeats from previous editions, here is a brand new questions you’ve asked me…

Q: I keep looking all over the internet to find conflicting answers on the occult topic I’m curious about. It’s clear several if not most reviews (positive or negative) of the people I’m trying to get the answers from are fake or exaggerated, so I don’t trust those, but I’m also completely new to this topic and don’t know who’s right or who’s wrong. How do I go about learning without getting bullshit answers?

A: This problem has existed since well before the internet, because there have always been crazies and schemers out there. The crazies are easy to identify after a short time, being as they are usually “born witches,” (this is the same as saying born a brain surgeon and without any training, immediately practicing brain surgery as soon as you have the dexterity to use a scalpel,) coming from several generations of witches, and etc, who then are also generally somewhat young (you can be a real practitioner for hire or an expert spellcaster in your 20’s but this is often a yellow flag, though not at all a red flag,) or are people who cast a spell or two out of a book once and within a year decide they are experts (it takes at least a decade of dedicated study and practice to be expert,) and tell you to cast spells not by learning but by what your gut tells you to do, etc. They are usually, but not always, trying to help, but are sorely misled that they are ready to help, and are in fact, more damaging to beginners and to a rather larger degree than they realize. If you come across a crazy and you are not at least an intermediate learner, just politely ignore them.

Schemers can be a bit harder to spot. Maybe they frame their occult practice like they are selling some sort of bodybuilding supplement (but even that is a gimmick but not something meaning they are ignorant,) maybe they assure you that you are the victim of a generational curse (you aren’t,) maybe they try to tell you something ridiculous like they can make you ten years younger or help you lose 50 pounds overnight, or will marry a movie star…and all of those schemes are not so hard to see. But the problem is…not all schemers scheme to sell you something, and, so while a real practitioner for hire usually has more work than he or she can handle a fair amount of the time, and also you probably can see if someone is just trying to sell you something, there is the far more insidious schemer…the one who merely wants to convince you of something which isn’t true because they dislike the truth. There are types of spells I know how to do, and they work, and there are those who will, for example, tell you like the intranquil spirit will destroy your love and haunt you, and it won’t. That type is harder to see, but look for overkill on fear-mongering. There are others who are more positive but still trying to sell you on their idea of how things should be, like people who suggest that spirit evocation is super duper easy and even someone wholly new to magic will be about to draw a spirit up on their first try….and you probably won’t.

So, I do understand the difficulty. Before the internet, we had to buy books, and expensive ones at that, and half to a third were utter nonsense and 2/3 of each book was to teach complete neophytes so it was all review in most cases. Now you can find beginner books and instructional stuff, but 2/3 or more on the internet is young men and women pretending to be witches, schemers, and TikTok stupidity. What is sad is you have access that young people never had to experts…but you’ll probably have to go to Facebook because that’s where all the experts are (because most experts are middle aged or older,) and you might also find a few of us on Reddit or Instagram. And those nifty paper stacks called books are also a good place to start. Look for a respected publishing house and choose from their authors, - this often leads to finding more real knowledge than watching videos online or chewing a ghost pepper and thinking of your ex to burn them (when really, you’re probably just burning yourself.)

Q: I broke up with my ex last week, and he/she won’t speak to me after a severe argument because I (some terrible action like cheating or lying or stealing, etc,) and I need you to change their mind immediately and return them to me in a week or less. Or is there a spell I could do since I am unwilling to pay anyone’s over $50 and even then would only pay that if they guarantee my ex comes back in a week. Can you help? (This isn’t a real person but get this type of shit weekly.)

A: First off, no real practitioner will accept this business because you sound like a high maintenance pain in the ass with unrealistic expectations who also expects quite a bit for an unreasonable price. Comparatively, I might tell someone to build me a house for which, - including supplies, labor, and frequent updates included in this price, I expect this all done for $500. The materials alone will cost far more, just like they very well might in a spell for $50, and honestly, I’m not sure I’d write you out a spell to do on your own while refusing to answer any further questions you had after doing so for just $50.

But let’s say you offer me $500 to take this on. I still may not. You sound like you’ll cost me more than that just in labor. My time, - anyone’s time - is worth being paid for, and I also do not believe any real spellcaster will agree as you expect it in a week. But let’s say you take off the time limit, and rephrase it as “Hello, I broke up with my ex a week ago. We had a huge argument because I (cheated/lied/stole, etc,) and the/she found out and won’t speak to me. I hope with magic I can resolve this problem, and am hoping to do so quickly, if at all possible. Can you let me know the rates and a ball park figure on when it might manifest?” That I might be able to do, and I’m sure most practitioners would ask some questions, then if they felt they could help, they would give you a price and estimated time frame.

But let’s say that you are insistent you have this NOW. The whole what someone for hire thing would do really wasn’t your problem. 🤨 Alright, let’s start with that if you caused a great deal of damage to a relationship, this is comparable to falling off a cliff, and needing lots of physical repair if you are to survive. So, if your leg is broken in ten places, you broke your back, both arms, have a severe concussion, and one of your lungs is deflated, and you’re spleen pierced, some broken ribs…Fix that to 100% perfect as it was before the fall, and do it in a week. 

“Medical science can’t do that, Cat, and I’d be lucky to even ever return to perfect even if I live!” you say, and then ask, “What does that have to do with magic or my relationship?” Well, a relationship is a living thing. If you broke it badly, it will require time to repair itself, even with treatment (spellwork being a form of treatment,) and if you do not follow the instructions given to you, the treatment may fail. We agree the relationship is broken, but you are not seeing that it is a living thing and needs time to heal and the right treatment to make it as good as new or almost so, and if you did enough damage, it will certainly not be the same as it was before the break, albeit it may still be totally fine and in some cases, be better, though in some it is severely crippled.

So now you see speed is not likely to help. If I took a broken body fallen off a cliff and attached it to a steel robot frame and made it move, then that body is up and moving and so soon after it’s fall, but I’ll probably kill the person or hurt them worse, which is exactly what speeding reconciliation does to a relationship so badly fractured.

So, if you want something, you do not dictate a time frame which is not already known (example “the new job I want will be deciding on they hiring on this specific date,” or “I need a new apartment by (specific date,)” or “My court date is:”) and if you hurt this relationship badly enough, you should not expect a speedy resolution as is.

Lastly, any practitioner worth their salt will tell you if you engage in any further bad behaviors (lying/cheating/stealing, etc,) that it is just going to fall apart again, so you’ll need to work on yourself.

As you can see, fixing relationships is a lot of work…and $50 might cover an hour of work. If you do for hire, expect it not to be cheap if you need a lot of one on one time speaking with the worker (who is not a free psychiatrist,) or if it is a complex problem, - and if you do it yourself, there will be trial and error, expensive supplies, and paying a therapist or paying for self-help books to help you with that lying or cheating or stealing problem you have.

Q: I am not able to burn candles. Can I still do spells? 

A: Yes, though you may be limited in some cases. If it’s a problem of a lease saying no candles, well just do it anyhow and then get rid of the evidence quickly. If it’s because your intrusive parents come into your bedroom because you still live with them, contact me when you move into your own place (because there is a strong chance you are too young for me to discuss anything with you about magic or religion as you’re just a kid.) If it’s a snooping spouse/partner, do it when they aren’t home or rent a space. If it’s a roommate, same thing. Otherwise, look for spells without candles. They do exist.

Q: I prayed and/or made offerings to (deity/spirit/saint name,) and did not get what I asked for. Why?

Let’s assume you also told me that you’re not Hellenistic Greek Pagan but are some form of Christian and you said a prayer to Aphrodite to bring your ex back. Having no relationship with this goddess, nothing was received in return. 

Or let’s say you left an offering to a spirit, - whisky for example - and asked this spirit to bring back your ex. Nothing happened.

Let’s say you then prayed to St Anthony, even though you’ve never prayed to a saint, and said “St Anthony, since no one else will listen, and you’re just a dead human, maybe you can bring my ex back!” Nothing happened.

You just did the equivalent of demanding that a world leader grant you a favor even though you never knew them or met them and have no relationship with them, then asked a leader of the underworld - a capo di tutti capo of the world of gangsters and racketeers for a huge favor, and had enough sense to be mildly polite, but having no relationship and having never known this being, you were again ignored. Then you asked someone with say, the power level of maybe a very well known celebrity for a favor - again, not knowing this person and never having any relationship with them, - for a large favor, and were rude. They ignored you too. Why would anyone do you a favor, even if they could, when they have NO RELATIONSHIP to you? They won’t.

And some spirits won’t even acknowledge you if you try to build a relationship with months of offerings.

But, if you want any of those beings to help you, build a relationship with them. Offer praise and gifts long before you make any requests of them, and if they recognize you as a devoted follower, you will reap the rewards when you do.

Q: Will you write out a spell for me to cast on my own and coach me through every step? 

A: I sell that service so if you pay my rates I will. For free I will just point you here and tell you to find something you like and try it. I will clarify instructions on a post for free, but rarely offer substitutions for any ingredient or action. If you need to get a better idea of a spell on this blog’s best use, link to that spell and give me an idea on the situation you wanted to use it on, and I will reply for free to let you know if it is suitable.

I worked very long and very hard to get where I am, and I get paid to do my job, and people very happily pay my rates and then return and buy more services from me again and again, so any abusive attempts to get free services will not be honored or responded to. I also won’t do free readings, or counsel you for hours for free on your life’s problems. I do not give free calls, and if you want to speak to me on the phone, that costs $125 per hour paid in advance at this writing. The rate may change. You may never call me unless there is an appointment scheduled and I’ve not let you know I might be 5 mins late, and I am.

Q: Can I reuse a witness sample in another spell?

A: No, you shouldn’t, unless you are specifically tasked to do a 2 part spell and are instructed to use that item again in the second part. You alter the energy of the item when you spellcast using it, and it is no longer useable in new spells. For those of you needing a visual, it’s like wiping your butthole after pooping and then using the same tissue to blow your nose in it right after. 🤮 You fundamentally changed that tissue by wiping your poopy bum, right? Well, you’ve fundamentally changed that witness item so, if you wouldn’t reuse a poopy piece of tissue to blow your nose, then don’t reuse your witness samples.

That’s it for me today, kids. Thanks for reading, and if you have any questions or would like to have me work for you, please contact me.

~Cat

Learn more about love and reconciliation spells - including spells you can cast on your own, here.

Q&A: Why Do Spellcasters "Hate" Readings/Why Do So Many Spellcasters Not Offer Readings

1Hey there, 

So on a week full of readings and more readings, from newbies, readers, and even return clients I keep hearing:

"Why do so many spellcasters either never offer readings or no longer offer them if they used to?" 

The answer from what I can tell is that even though to some clients that is like selling burgers and not offering fries, it's a lot more like readers are the nurses and the spellcasters are the doctors. One is the "emotional, nurturing, caring" end of medicine with the other being the "scientist, nuts and bolts, body is a machine," end. Both are needed.

When I had cellulitis of the eye area a few years ago, the nurses were super nice, and encouraging and gave me shots I hated but made me laugh...then every med student, doctor, and probably even a few surgeons who were in no way focused on that area of the human body had to come in and see my monster eye and be like "Holy cellulitis, Batman! Look at that! Can I touch that? Doctor So and so, look at that presentation! That is the wildest cellulitis ever!" and the thing is, they were not mean or even intentionally unkind (I certainly felt like a circus freak,) they were just very interested in my condition and how it transpired that I came to having it PLUS what treatment was working. I was a 40 year old woman presenting with cellulitis with x cause, and y incubation time, and z response to (name meds,) and that was very interesting to them. They wanted to fix it, yes, but I was more like the disease that needed to be cured in the patient, than some complicated backstory of who I am, plus I have cellulitis. To the nurses, I was Cat, I was annoyed because I wanted to go back to work, I was hungry, some guy kept taking my blood, and I wasn't going to be a big baby about getting an IV I just had to look away. But I was Cat who had cellulitis, and they gave me meds, and checked my stats,. but saw me as just a sick person they were helping get better, and keeping happy, not the disease that needed curing plus say a few pleasantries to the woman that disease is in like the doctor. 

So, to the spellcaster you are say... a 34 year old heterosexual cisgender male complaining of a break up caused by your former girlfriend who ran off with your best friend. You have tried to no other spells. You are mildly histrionic as it is recent. You have been blocked on all platforms. You show a proclivity towards anxiety. Probability of self-defeating spell-killing behaviors is about 40%. If I do (names of spells) and you can manage not to self-defeat, the likelihood of success is close to 87%.

And to the psychic you are Maximillian, aka Max, who's girl left him and who needs to know that's not the end of the world. You're worried about your job and your kids from your previous marriage. You are hurt that your best friend could do this to you and it's impacting your ability to function at work and in life. If we just look into this maybe we can see why see where it's going, but whatever is going on, we are going to get you back to where you understand and you feel better. 

Now, back in the day, it was basically understood that you were "supposed to" give readings if you did spells. I might explain this as being like a rural doctor. You knew all your patients quite well and you would be running many of the tests a nurse might run as you know how to do all those things. You of course, did both duties, and much without thinking them separate. In fact, a nurse practitioner might also be like a "back in the day spellcaster for hire," as he or she knows all those tests but can do most of the things a doctor (at a general practitioner level) can do, yet, generally speaking does so with the view of a nurse which is showing kindness and compassion and dignity and not just "what makes this disease happen like this in this environment and how can I fix it?" 

Of course some spellcasters much preferred the readings end. Most of us who love spells though....we were like "OK, well if I'm expected to do this, I'll do it." 

I have friends who ONLY do readings and they LOVE IT. They never want to offer spells really because to them it's too much of giving up on seeing this as "human beings" and being like "Well, if I do this and that, then the outcome will be...." And to the spellcaster that outcome is the important part...they want to fix the problem. Holding your hand and consoling you is taking time away from fixing the problem. It might be encouraging bad behavior even. The reader? The reader wants to hold your hand and console you. 

What end am I on? I'm a spellcaster...for sure. I know this because do you want to know the biggest surprise to me when I opened my store almost 20 years ago? That I would spend over 40 hours unpaid per week answering emails like "I thought a sad thought today. Why am I so sad? Is my life over? It's been 43 minutes since I spoke to him/her." I believed you can hand me a problem and I'd say "Hmm...this is a 22 year old female who is looking for a 24 year old male to fall in love with her, - he has shown initial interest but it is now flagging because of x variables, so I will do this and this and this for a spell..." and then give you a nice set of instructions (like I always do) like 'don't overthink it, don't stalk this person, don't fight with them, and let me know if things have changed in 2 weeks, OK?'"

I really should post an audio clip of myself laughing hysterically, and send it back in time for that naïve young woman who had NO IDEA what she was getting herself into. 

Because my job is more like "Alright I'm getting up at 4am, doing these 5 spells, then it's 9am to talk to (person for an hour) after which I'm going to cast these 2 spells, then it's 4 hours of email support, now I'm billing this person, then a 2 hour reading with this person, then explaining this to this other person, now another 90 minutes for spellcasting, now 3 hours of paperwork/reassuring/explaining, now another hour reading, maybe eat something or shower, and a spellcasting and also chatting with these three clients until I find my way to my bed to lie down for "just a minute," and the birds get in the bedroom and I wake up covered in birds, start day again, repeat." I work 12-14 hour days...the birds miss me so they always try to get time with me and sometimes scream when I talk to you. Hell, if any of you have heard any significant other I've had in the background, they are generally fussing that I said I'd be done an hour or go or why haven't I gotten to (chore) yet. My first husband used to come home and want my affection and comfort and some days I'd be like "Dude, if you want to complain, I get paid a nice figure to listen to that shit, otherwise, no," which I've since heard therapist/psych friends say is very common in their profession after a long day of back to back patients.

It's a HUGELY HIGH ENERGY DRAINING JOB to offer spells and readings. I assume it's hugely draining to offer only readings. It takes a BOATLOAD OF ENERGY to do spells every day. 

That is why some people who prefer the spell end of things say "I can just forgo this non stop emotionally draining part of the job, and give that to someone who specializes in it." Just as some readers are like "I can be nurturing and emotionally supportive and help people with my guidance, but if they need a spell, there are people who specialize in it."

This is also why many people refuse to do love work. You spend so much time consoling someone, counseling them on how to behave or react, and then also working the spells. 

BUT, for what it's worth, the money is better with readings. It's little overhead, good pay. The spells are HUGE OVERHEAD, and if you can avoid a high-maintenance client, reasonable but not stunning pay. People UNDERSTAND readings better and therefore it is much easier to provide the service with little customer service as well.

I can understand people avoiding it - readings can be tedious and draining, - if they love the spellcasting end...and it sure would be easier on the worker themselves to just view the situation as a spellworker does, but in the end, I think I've learned more by offering both, plus, I have clients who I consider friends and absolutely look forward to speaking with, and it's helped me understand people far more than I did when I first started. :)

Hope that clarifies,

~Cat

 

Q&A: Is Everything A Spell? (Yes, Seriously.)

Hello Occulties,

While I find it amusing to occasionally wander into chatrooms and groups and social media places where people who would rather I not say anything inhabit such corners of the interwebs (hehe,) lately I've been seeing a lot of this:

"When I say 'Righty-tightey, lefty-loosey' is that a spell?"*
"If I soak my feet in epsom salts because they hurt and then while I am soaking them say psalm 23 for no reason other than I want to pray, did I unintentionally cast a spell?"
"When I pointed at my friend and say 'I cast FUCK YOU!' and laughed, did I unintentionally curse them?"

Wow, I love magic, too, but it requires intent, so...no, the first is a mnemonic device, the second is a religious person with hurty feet, and the last there is you joking around. All three are not spells. While it's very fun when you first learn that there IS magic to start seeing how many things can be related to magic or arising from magical roots (there are a few folk magic practices that went mainstream and have been long stripped of the actual magic, for sure,) just putting a sparkly feather in your cap and calling it magic doesn't make it so. 

We all have to start somewhere and while I really love seeing people excited about learning about magic, quite frankly, the reality is...magic is often harder than you think. It requires focus, intent, and practice, and then study, and then reading, and then more practice, and then more study, and then more reading, and then more reading...then usually some disposing of earlier crap you found to be absolute crap, then reading, then study, then practice practice practice practice, then study, etc. It is not something you're a champ at over night. There's nothing wrong with that, either. 

I try to write for all levels, so I know I owe you all a spell, but Mama Cat is exhausted so that will come tomorrow. Just, as a reminder, no, as exhilarating as it is when you realize magic does exist, not everything is a spell. Without the proper focus, knowledge, and intent, you aren't just casting spells unintentionally (not least of all because unintentional spellcasting would lack INTENT.)

~Cat

 

*Please note: to respect the privacy of people posting, all of these are NOT things I have seen online, however the things said were at this level of questioning

Occult/Spell Questions People Think Have a Simple and/or One-Size-Fits-All Answer that Do Not

Hey there, Occulties,

Today on Cat's Rants, I'd like to discuss some of my least favorite questions that people ask and then get all pissy when I answer them honestly. ;) Why? Because they are not yes or no, or simple-answer responses, when someone wants things to be less complicated than that. 

Q: What is the best/strongest spell for (money/reconciliation/love/communication/revenge, etc etc.)?

A: Quite possibly the most annoying question I get is the one that implies that there is one BEST SPELL for a specific basic need. I've been over this a million times on my blog, but there is no one single best spell ever in an entire category of spells. Like let's say "best love spell." This is a very non descriptive thing because what KIND of love spell is it? Is it to attract love, to keep love, to reconcile a lover, to entice sexual interest? I mean, I'm not even touching on all the sub categories under love spell there are, and then there are even sub categories to the sub categories, and in many cases sub categories to those categories. This is why if you see, say, "Love herbs" and someone lists about 20 herbs, this person is not being helpful to you or teaching you jack or shit. What one "love herb" does is quite important. So if balm of gilead is used in reconciliation for it's healing properties, then it's not going to do much for you if you try to use it to attract a new lover. 

Spells is like saying "words." if you do not understand the meaning of a word just having seen a word won't mean you can use it properly. Similarly if you see "love spell" but you don't understand the specific trigger of how this spell works or what situation for which to apply it to, then it might not suit your situation. 

So, with that in mind there is no specific best spell for all money needs, or for all revenge needs, or love needs, or blessing needs, etc., as without knowledge of a situation, and without knowledge of how specific spells work, then you can't just use a broad-purpose spell and think it's going to be the "best" for your situation, but then if I recommend x spell to you for getting a job, and you just think it's a "money spell," you may be disappointed when using it to get a raise, so which is the "best" or the "best one [I} know," is going to change with every problem you bring me.

This is why when you ask me what my best or strongest spell for x or y is, I just kind of sigh and ask what's going on. ;) 

Q: If psychics are so psychic, why don't they always know everything that's about to happen? Are they really psychic? 

A: While I can't answer as to whether or not a specific person claiming psychic ability is psychic without having some contact with that person, I can state that it is a hugely misunderstood thing. This seems to be a favorite of obsessives who probably believe they would spend every waking minute knowing what the next day would bring down to intricate detail when in my experience it's not that at all, and to try to do that would actually be incredibly exhausting and not worthy of the energy expended. 

For example, when I am asked what someone is thinking RIGHT THIS SECOND, it's so rarely about my client, and often nothing of note that there is a great deal of disappointment. It might be thinking of needing a specific kind of grocery item. It might be thinking of a dog they saw on the way to work. It might be them rhyming two words. Sometimes it's difficult to discern as the person is zoned out. I expend a fair amount of energy to get that snippet of what someone is thinking "right now," and for no good reason much of the time. The information is of little or no value. So why would I do that constantly? Furthermore I have have the right mindset to do that, so if I'm in a heated argument with my own partner, trying to get what's going on in his mind at that moment is going to be quite difficult for me, so clearly, I'm not using it then. Ergo, I can read what someone is thinking, but to get a quick glance at that might not be useful for you, and the moments when it may be the most useful for myself, my own emotions may render me incapable. 

BUT, other times it is quite useful to be psychic. I'll have a nagging feeling I need to do something or go somewhere or call someone, and it's right. I avoid danger, or I run into good fortune, or I help a friend when they need it most, etc. If it's incredibly clear - not just this sort of feeling or urge, then of course I follow through...but if it's mild and I ignore it, I tend to regret so doing. The misunderstanding is that I have some sort of clear image in my head all of the time of secret thoughts or like a video playing of what I'll see ten minutes from now, and that this somehow runs concurrently to my perception of things around me all of the time. Now, if that were the case, I'd be batshit insane. Because some of the problem is that time doesn't work that way. If I turn left instead of right when coming to an intersection, the outcome of the next five minutes will probably be different. I am not FORCED (see, free will) to choose one direction over the other, therefore the future is somewhat fluid. So, this means if I was constantly "feeling" what's about to happen as clearly as some of you think I do, I'd be feeling so many different outcomes happening at once, my brain would probably explode.

Also, it's very difficult feeling other people's feelings. When I was a younger woman, I had to learn to block a lot of it out, just because it's a very heavy load a lot of adolescents are carrying emotionally, and it could be overwhelming. I actually try to stay blocked off to some degree even today. 

So, do things come through all of the time....yes, I think that's fair. Sometimes you pick up something that you weren't looking to find out - it is just "loud" and hits your frequencies. But for the most part, most psychics aren't looking at the future constantly or trying to read minds. We are trying to operate just like you. We also grapple with our own fears and hopes and dreams, and these can sometimes color our perception of what our psychic senses pick up. So if a psychic "didn't see something big coming" in their own life, a lot of factors can explain why, and it does not make them "not psychic." 

Q: My spell still hasn't manifested. Did I do it incorrectly?

A: OK, well, that would come with a few questions to figure out if you did or didn't, so...

Assuming you did NOT do the spell correctly, I would need to know where you went wrong. Was it omitting a needed ingredient? Was it calling spirits you shouldn't be calling? Was it combining the calling of spirits from different traditions? Did you completely alter it in other ways? Were these alterations minor, were they major? The interesting thing is that even then, I know several stories of people making AWFUL mistakes (as in "what were you thinking?" type ones,) where they still got some result. 

However, the next question is when did you do the spell? A lot of the time I get an answer like "Oh, like two days ago." I can't even begin to tell you how much I want to hit people when they say that. Look, spells don't often manifest overnight. So, if on the other hand, you say "Oh, like a month ago," I might be more interested in looking into seeing what the hold up is, 48 hours ago is not a large enough window for me to wonder if spell failure may be afoot. 

Next I'd need to know if ANYTHING has happened. So, let's say I wanted a new job, and so I did a spell to get a new job in my field, and I've gone to several interviews, but still haven't been hired, even though I've had 2-3 callbacks for another interview. My spell may be MANIFESTING (that is, in the process of coming to be,) so it's not done working. That's hard for some people to understand. Sometimes things can even feel "backwards" - for example some years ago, I reconciled a couple where when the guy came back, he did it by picking a fight with my client because he was insecure that she'd been with someone else in his absence. Once he was satisfied she hadn't, he immediately calmed down and became a loving teddy bear and wanted her back. While I did not and do not defend that sort of behavior he showed towards her, obviously for an hour or so, she was absolutely flummoxed - this guy was acting like a real turd to her! It did not feel like reconciliation...and then, yep, it was. :P 

Now if nothing really has happened, now I need to know how the petitioner has been acting, thinking, and feeling. Some people do the equivalent of breaking their leg (wanting to change a situation,) getting a cast (getting a spell cast,) and deciding the leg is now perfectly repaired the moment that cast is on, (the second the spell is cast that what they want is theirs and the situation is 100% changed as desired.) This isn't now this works. It's more like if you go mountain climbing and dancing with that newly-broken leg plus cast (act against the spell, engage in problem behaviors,) you're just going to make it worse. Sometimes bad actions are obvious - for example, trying to reconcile an ex, and then fighting with them. Sometimes they are less obvious...like lust for results. Realize this is a very important part of the process, and you'll need to be honest with yourself. I've totally fcked up my own work for myself just being an asshat before. :P It's OK. It happens to a lot of us. ;) 

I wish this was an easy answer - that I could tell you, say "Oh, sure, yeah, you just forgot to add x ingredient" or "Oh, yeah, see you need to do that when the moon is in a water sign," but rarely is it ever that simple. :P Basically, you're giving me the "symptom" of several possible problems, and hopefully the only problem is impatience, but often it is more than that. 

Q: Is Hoodoo the strongest magic ever or is it another kind?

A: It is the practitioner of the magic generally who is "stronger" than another practitioner in magic, and, plus, in my personal experience, practitioners tend to be really good at certain kinds of magic (like love work or curse work or court spells,) as well. So...while I'm not a huge fan of certain paradigms and find them dubious at best, I can't tell you that there is the "strongest" paradigm of spellcraft. 

Q: My target is very religious/devout, - will that protect them?

A: Not necessarily, no.... I would instead say it's a factor that will influence how they react to the spell itself. So, let's say a person is interested in a same sex partnership with a target who might be bisexual but who feels, for religious regions, it's wrong to engage in homosexual urges, and therefore does not, - they only engage in heterosexual relationships. This means, even if they feel a strong attraction to someone of the same sex from the spell's influence, they probably won't give in, and even if they do, it's going to be emotionally harmful if they truly believe that God/dess/Spirits/Universe etc, is going to turn away from them now. 

On the other hand, let's say you try to curse a person, and they call upon St Michael Archangel to defeat your curse, which is then rendered moot under his mighty heel. That could definitely happen....so it's not a "hard no," but rather that it's not necessarily the kind of defining factor in spell success in the way people think. It's often not an instant deflection (and if no harm is meant, there is a good chance it would not be deflected unless the target specifically calls upon a spirit or deity to do so), but rather an influencing factor on their reaction to spell influence. 

Q: I want (specific event or thing or person), but after so much work, things will start going my way, but then won't happen.... Does this mean spells don't work?

A: The fact that ANYTHING is starting to go your way means that the spells are working. You know for years, I was very in love with someone who just was so stuck on something I'd done (not even to him) back more than a decade before (basically when I was 21, I cheated on my then boyfriend, and he knew about it,) to us seeing each other romantically. It wasn't entirely that, - he'd also had some experiences over those years which made him relatively paranoid about being cheated on or hurt which were entirely valid to be hurt over, but that he was just processing poorly (because they had also happened many years before), and were giving him some commitmentphobia. I would do work and I would get a result, and then he'd get scared and run off again. :P It wasn't my spells "not working," it was that a combination of factors existed that were preventing him from settling down, and sadly, the only thing that eventually made him process his own issues was me getting sick of his commitimentphobia and all the back and forth, and seeing someone else seriously instead of going back to him when he was ready to try again. It hurt him quite a bit to lose me, but now he's a lot happier and in a serious relationship with someone he seems to love very much. I'm glad he did get over his commitmentphobia, and while it's a pity that he couldn't do so in time to have something with me forever and ever, I never felt like my spells didn't work because we didn't end up together. In fact, there are no hard feelings, and I love him and wish him the best, even if I am not in love anymore. He gave me all he could but when I wanted him, he wasn't ready to be a good partner. 

And maybe that's the problem you have, too. You want this specific outcome or person or thing, but the obstacles to that being as you want are preventing you from fully having it. The spells are doing their work, which is why you see SOME movement, but whatever obstacle is in your way, either you need to remove it, or if you can't or won't do so, you will find the spell falling short of your expectations. It's just that you have to realize SOME MOVEMENT means the spell is working. If it's then not fully bringing about the desired change, that's a sign to you to identify what obstacles are preventing that, not that your spells (or someone else's) don't work. 

Hopefully that was enlightening. :) 

~Cat