Cat's Rants - Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Chime and Revolut

Hey kids, 

while we all know I love CashApp the best as a pay processor, that’s not always an option for everyone, so I have 2 other suggestions. 

Chime is offering us both money if I refer you to sign up. It’s a lot like CashApp and Venmo and super convenient, so why the hell not. Feel free not to take my referral link (then neither of us get a sign on bonus 😕) or try it out for free and see what you think. We could both make $100 if you like it as much as I do. 😊

I already use it and think it’s fabulous! 

And if you’re looking for a way better pay processor than PayPal, check out Revolut for international transactions. It has much better exchange rates, much better service, and is a 300% improvement on clunky old PayPal! Try Revolut and see for yourself! ❤️

~Cat

I Hope You Had an Awesome Day

Hey everyone,

I woke up today feeling like I was going to get stuff done and kick the world's ass. Unfortunately, I was misguided, because by about noon, I realized, no, this is definitely second-Monday (when Tuesday becomes a second Monday, and everyone and everything is being difficult, and trying to knock you out of your positive mindset.)

But you know what? Eff you, second Monday, I'm still gonna have a great day, and you know what else? I'm going to wish everyone reading this has something fantabulous happening for them right now! :)

So if you feel like you need someone to encourage you, let me know. I'm in your corner. Because I do believe we all need more of that - encouragement, and people who say "Hey, if you put pants on today, that's something, and I'm proud of you." I know there are a lot of people out there struggling, who's problems make my problems look trivial, and the fact that you got up today, and you tried to make it through another day (while I'm annoyed because things like someone interrupted me writing out a long email, and then my computer restarted before I sat down again, heh,) is effort. And you know what? I believe in you. :)

Best wishes,

~Cat

Personalized "Urns"

Hey Occulties,

I'm a big lover of weird kitschy things I find on the interwebs. I'm not actually dark, goth, emo, or anything like that - nope...I look pretty average - but I do like weird silly things. I'm told this is because I'm from Generation X. I toe that line with the "Millenial" line (I'm not a Millenial,) but I guess, sure, I'm Gen X...we like weird things. Like action figures. And comics. And ninjas.

So, digressing back, look what I found! Think this could be used ritually for those bad at making their own dollies?

And what about this? Oh, I'm working in your head, with a replica of your head.

No dead person required, just get some personal item from your target's person (hair, spit, - not a finger or anything, they might need that - semen, period blood, nail clippings...you get the gist,) and get to work on your own personalized version of them made by these people who...while some of their crematory remains holders are definitely lovely, also apparently sell some creepy mementos (like your Dad as superman? Grandma as a "bad girl?") to contain your recently deceased loved one. I do not suggest dressing your grandma's ashes in a hooker girl plastic figure, but I do think it might work for getting your (LIVING) ex back...check it out, see what I'm saying.

And while you're there, you can totally get a nice ceramic container for grandma/dad/best friend/best buddy/best pet that is far more appropriate than a plastic figure or a picture of their head. Also, if I die, and someone stores me in a head shaped like Barack Obama's, you're all gonna get haunted and shit. At least store me in a Ryan Gosling head...or a Christian Bale as Batman head...or something.

Seriously, guys...click those links. You'll see what I'm saying.

~Cat

LMAO!!

I just had to post this...because I found it on Facebook and have been laughing at it for 2 days now. ;) If this is your property and you want me to remove it, I happily will. But if you have this sense of humor and like sharing it, I'm sure all my readers will like this as much as I do.

Might I add, despite not cursing someone's firstborn (well as a baby, I'm sure a few people who got cursed by me were, while also being adults, SOMEONE'S first born, hehe,) this SO sounds like something I'd say.

Heh, hope you all found that funny.

~Cat

For your Amusement - 5 Ways You're Accidentally Making Everyone Hate You

I absolutely loved this article, - I'm especially guilty of #2. In the last year or two, I've forgotten 3 birthdays (I never forget birthdays,) and replied to 5 different friends I've had FOREVER days after being contacted. I've no doubt more than one of my friends was quite peeved that I forgot to say congratulations on getting married/giving birth/living to 30 because I was too busy telling people that I couldn't bring their ex they dated in 1992 back to them or because someone decided to give me a speech about how my love of spells was some insult to their love of Jesus. :P

The bad thing being I don't think I care all that much if people hate me for any of it. ;) I can think of times I've been peeved at someone because of the reasons mentioned in the article, but I don't recall it turning into full blown hate.

Either way, I found it amusing. Enjoy. :)

~C

Interview With The Askhole

Hi Occulties,

I've seen the meme following around the internet that an askhole is a person who asks your advice and does the opposite anyhow. I get something similar to that in my inbox frequently from a few people.... So I sort of came up with something. Think of it as a play in 1 act. ;)

I was thinking of entitling it Grouchy Rootworking Asshole VS Ignorant Askhole, because I never said I can't be an asshole, too, lol, but felt this title worked better....and I stress 95% of those contacting me DO NOT fit the "askhole" profile, and can expect much gentler treatment. ;) Furthermore, I'm being gentle in portrayal of said askhole...this usually goes on for a few hours, and consists mostly of the person asking for my opinion, then telling me when they get my actual opinion that I'm wrong, regardless of anything I say to back up my own opinion. :P

Interview With The Askhole

Askhole: (Emails link and writes) "Cat I know that's a demon. Why would you tell people to work with demons. That's not safe."

Cat: "No, it's not safe for noobs to work with demons, and I'd not tell them to, but the spell you're referencing doesn't use a demonic spirit."

A: "Well what is it then?"

C: "I think spoke on that a few years back, did you read my article?"

A: "Not exactly, but I read this or that on a site that might be considered dubious, and I wanted your perspective. How about you tell me what you think it is."

C: "OK...well, here's 4 pages on my belief on the matter" (gives long essay) "so that's what I think that is, why I have that conclusion, and why my theory is one I reached through my own experience, and not just from an article where...judging from the content and style of writing, that person is bordering on hysteria who wrote it."

A: "Huh....well you're wrong. It's a demonic spirit."

C: "Have you ever cast a spell before?"

A: "Once"

C: "This spell you're referencing? Done that one?"

A: "No, I never tried it."

C: "How many spells do you think I've cast in my life?"

A: "I don't know."

C: "Thousands, tens of thousands, maybe even over a hundred thousand? ...hard to say. But I'm glad you know better than me because you read poorly-researched information on the internet on some site. I've based my opinion on years of experience with using that very spell repeatedly, but I guess your whole 30 minutes of research on the matter before contacting me has made you far more of an expert on the matter. ;) Huh. Impressive. Anything else you can teach me? ;)"

A: "You don't need to be such a dick."

C: "Have you ever read anything I wrote?"

A: "Your emails."

C: *sighs* "Try reading things I've written online. I'm not well known for my patience with the willfully stupid or those who ask my opinion just to naysay me. You're welcome to your opinion on the matter, but I see no point in asking for mine just to say it's wrong."

A: "That's not very nice of you, and I'm not stupid, thanks. I merely wanted to know why you would tell people to work with a demon."

C: "If you've never read my writing, how do you presume I'm doing just that? I don't tell people to work with demonic spirits in anything I've published so far as I know."

A: "I came across a link to an article of yours about it, and so I did read that one article...well parts of it-"

C: "I see. So the very article where I describe in the comments what I just wrote you an essay about earlier. That one?"

A: "I didn't read the comments."

C: "Well, I've said all I have to say on the matter, then, and you just told me I was ignorant for having my opinion, so...that's a moot topic now. This is turning into a circular argument that's just getting contentious, and you want to think whatever you want to think. So fine by me. Done discussing it. Any more questions?"

A: "Will you call me stupid again?"

C: "Possibly, but if you have an open mind and are asking after my opinion to LEARN something, I probably won't."

A: "I see. OK, how long does (name of spell) take to manifest?"

C: "There is no blanket answer for that question. Can you give me more details on the problem? I don't even know the situation."

A: "Oh, so maybe if I used this other spell (link) it will work faster than the other one?"

C: "Same problem. I have no idea what the situation is or even if that spell would be one you should use."

A: "OK, so can you recommend a spell for me? My ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago. We're straight. That enough info?"

C: "The gay or straight part has little difference to efficacy of a reconciliation in most cases, but no that's not enough info for me to even start to recommend a spell-"

A: "Well maybe you need a reading then. What are the costs and what types of payment do you accept?"

C: "I probably don't need to do a reading, and you just asked me the first question in my FAQ, as well as the cost of something clearly advertised on my business site."

A: "Are you going to answer the question?"

C: "Sure...(gives current costs of readings and types of payment accepted)"

A: "That's too much money, and you're not even answering my questions, so I'm not interested."

C: "Cool. So please don't contact me again, okay?"

A: "Why, I did nothing wrong?"

C: "You just wasted a bunch of my time for no compensation so you can tell me you know more than I do, which is clearly not the case since you can't even locate a clearly listed price or question #1 in an FAQ. You obviously think you know everything anyhow, so it's not like you need my opinion or advice."

A: "I asked you some simple questions. You know, there is no need to be so rude."

C: "You're the asshat asking me for my advice or opinion just to contradict it, taking hours of my day up with no compensation for my time, and I'm rude?" (thinks) Hmm, I am actually a bit rude. Still, better than being an askhole. Have a nice day."

A: (sends 100 emails about what a bad person and big meany your old friend the NinjaCat is.)

C: (deletes all of these emails without looking at them.)

*****

Hope this was humorous and educational AND that it didn't scare too many of you. I stress that 95% of the people (or more) who contact me, are not "askholes" nor do they need to worry I think so. Practitioners for hire can probably relate. ;)

~Cat :)

iPhone pic w filter done by friend using Instagram, text added later by me. Please do not use or distribute w/o permission, even though I can't figure why you would want to. ;)

Article copyright originalninjacat.com, all rights reserved.

A Few Very Overdue Acknowledgements and Postings

Hi Occulties,

First, I'd like to apologize for my lack of publishing, a common complaint about me for a bit over a year. It has taken some discussion with friends to realize my real aversion in posting much about reconciliation is one can only discuss that sort of spellwork and that problem so many hours out of the day before it becomes stale. It's been really stale for me. So *for a bit* we're going to ignore reconciliation spellwork, even though I've been promising a post on it. If I can just blab on about more exciting (to me) aspects of spellcasting and the occult, I think we can expect more posts. Hopefully more posts on spells means those proverbial floodgates holding in discussions about reconciliation will finally open. ;)

Also, I'd like to apologize to people for having to TEMPORARILY stop accepting new (never before worked with) clients. Unfortunately, a well-intentioned fan created a huge stink-bomb by recommending me, as weird as I realize that must sound. ;) It made it so I had a ton of work I can't accept, and not accepting work makes no money. Many thanks owed to some good friends who are also in this business, I feel as though their advice and encouragement has really helped me see how I can change my own business just slightly and improve it for those I will work for (which we all know I'm super picky.) HOWEVER before any changes are implemented I need a break from the huge influx of work-requests that I was getting so, it may not be until late August that I'm accepting new clients.

But enough about me. ;)

I would like to offer a shout out to the amazing Mike Cecchetelli who made me a Venus Amulet this spring. I had recently had a reawakened interest in certain types of amulets and talismans, and as I've seen some rather interesting offerings online from practitioners I know to be legit, and had a client quite into amulets who would discuss the ones she had purchased at length, I began poking about to see what was available. The first place I found myself coming back to offered some amazing *looking* pieces - the descriptions were knockout too, as was the reputation of the seller - but for the mentioned prices, I was going have to do some more research. I quickly came up with people complimenting the seller's other work outside his amulets but feeling there was a person who made far more effective pieces and better priced as well.

I'm a sucker for aesthetics sometimes, but better and more effective will often win over aesthetics unless we're talking about a pair of jeans. ;)

The person who had been recommended to me for his amulets and talismans by several people was Magus Michael Cecchetelli, who some of you might know from his work The Crossed Keys, or his blog which you can find here. As fate would have it, he was selling some unique Venus amulets when I visited of his blog of which he was making only a handful. I contacted him, and we set up a sale. I then promptly forgot I ever ordered anything, which made it's arrival even better - the joy of ADHD is sometimes the mail is like happy presents you forgot someone owed you. ;)

While I suspect it's not traditional, my first idea was to stick the amulet on a place on my person by the heart. I tried both in the heart area between the breasts, and under the left armpit. There was an actual sense of the energy of the piece immediately - it was, just holding the item or keeping it on my person, undoubtedly emitting energy. I noticed people seemed warmer and more receptive towards me when I wore it. However, my idea wasn't to have a lucky piece as much as a working one. I tried using the item on my person while casting spells which would relate to Venus (generally love spells,) and found it to give a noticeable amplification. I have tried it also on a love altar but prefer to have a physical connection when using the item. It is still definitely an effective piece and for that reason (and a few more) I'd recommend Michael Cecchetelli's work to anyone.

I would also like to offer a shout out to the wonderful Dara Anzlowar. I had known she was starting a line of products perhaps a year or so ago, but being the slugabed I can be sometimes, I waited all too long to try out a few of her products. They are wonderful, and I'm glad to be able to recommend another person putting out some fantastic recipes that you can use in your Hoodoo spellwork.

I have been trying a few of the formulas she sells. I found her Magnetic Attraction to be amazing with clients who wanted to attract more romantic attention in general or the attention of a particular person, and also was a fan of her "Talk to Me" formula - one I've used in my work for clients since Mercury went retrograde with great success. :) While I've not nearly had the chance to try out her whole catalog (which for some reason apparently anyone I recommend is perceived to be, by some of my readers, a person who's services and supplies *must* be something I know 100% of everything about, lol,) I do recommend her shop for ritual supply of oils, incenses, baths and other recipes in the Hoodoo tradition. Wow, that brings the number up to a whole 2 people's who's Hoodoo products I recommend at this writing. ;) So, if you need oils, incenses, baths, powders, etc, go see Karma or Dara.

Several of you have recently asked what the best book is on spiritual cleansing. I recommend Draja Mickaharic's Spirital Cleansing: A Handbook of Psychic Protection.

I think that's all the exciting news and acknowledgements I have long overdue.

~Cat

Something More People Need To Understand

Hi Occulties,

This post may initially be borne of frustration, but I hope it's helpful. It's stuff I wish more people think of or realize when dealing with myself and I assume this can be extended to other practitioners.

When I began writing this article I asked myself, what seems to be the biggest issues in my business is that people often forget...

YOUR PRACTITIONER IS A PROFESSIONAL, like a lawyer, a doctor, a plumber, an appliance repair person, an electrician, a hair dresser are all professional workers.

What does that mean? It means that your spellcaster/psychic's job is to provide psychic and/or spellcasting services for a price. They provide consultations for a price (or sometimes free with the implication there is a likelihood of a purchase to be made.) They do this because these are the duties of their job. It does not mean that they are a free cheerleader, that they work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, that they can drop everything they are doing to chat, or that they have an unlimited amount of time and energy to deal with every single thought that crosses your mind. They are not there to pick up your dog at the groomer, help you with a recipe for chicken soup, have a beer with you, or etc. As a professional spellcaster they are not going to fix your electricity or do your hair for you because you asked.

I am sure some of you still might not get it...

Well, it might surprise some of you to know I get along famously with professionals who perform certain services for me on a regular or semi regular basis. While I'd say I have an awesome relationship with my doctor for example (she and I crack each other up pretty much the whole time I'm in her office being treated,) I'd not say she's my friend. I quite like her, I'm sure in our outside of work job lives we could be friends, but she's my doctor, I'm her patient, and if I require her services I pay her well for them. I do not casually call her and go "Hey, Christine, I have a bit of a rash on my elbow, but I think it's because I was in contact with wool which you know the lanolin gets to me sometimes. If I come over with some beer and talk about what I don't like about my health for a few hours with you, will you check that out? Because I'd really like it. Hey, also I need you to look at a pill I found...think it's an amoxicillin I forgot to take, because..." You know, if I did that to my doctor, she'd hate my guts really fast. She certainly would not crack up when she saw me all the time.

Or lets take this to another professional who I see unfortunately too often due to the ineptitude of his predecessor, my present dentist. This fellow lived down the road from my family for some time so I have quasi-known him for years (though not well before he started fixing the egregious mistakes of his predecessor's bad dentistry,) from what I get we're of a similar disposition personality wise, we have a similar sense of humor. Again, I could see him and I being friends outside of a professional setting if such an opportunity arose. I cannot for the life of me imagine calling him up and going "Hey Darren, I know the office closed like 3 hours ago, but I just chipped a tooth, so can we set up fixing that immediately? I can't wait til your business opens. No, no it doesn't hurt whatsover, mostly cosmetic, but I'd rather not wait til Monday to call in even though it should be in the same condition then. If you're not willing to fix this right now, I'm sure you can analyze without seeing it how long it will take you to fix it, tell me when you have time, and also let me know the names of three dentists I could also see, and also tell me who distributes your dental supplies, and I also want to know which dental school you went to, who you learned under, and you have to do a filling free of charge while I'm there because I want you to prove you're for real." Once again, I don't think my dentist would like me much if I acted like that. Heck, he'd probably tell me to find a new dentist.

My point here is that at least 75% of the people contacting me are doing exactly what is being done in the 2 examples above...and the above is the result of someone forgetting that a friendly professional is still a professional. Or that it's both rude and absurd to make certain requests of someone.

"How do I know what's too much to ask of someone?" you inquire. If it falls outside of PAID services of casting a spell or reading, if you're demanding someone work outside of hours posted, if you're demanding an immediate repsonse, if you're demanding a service FOR FREE, if you're asking excessive levels of unpaid questions, etc, you're probably acting too much like the above examples.

To avoid this:
*Be courteous. Avoid being rude and demanding. Do not demand, but make requests. Most people are glad to take a bit of extra time with someone who is not demanding or who avoids becoming petulant when they are not immediately spoken with.

*Ask ALL questions prior to the spellcasting service. Read the Frequently Asked Questions Section before you ask a question.

*Remember you need to schedule an appointment with a professional, not just presume their schedule can be moved to fit your own.

*If your spellcaster or psychic is running their own business, show the courtesy of WAITING FOR A RESPONSE. I know I am not alone in this. It's SO RUDE to keep spamming someone for an email. If you called your ex 50 times a day til he or she changed his number, you should have learned how well the "annoy you into talking to me" method works. ;) Many of us don't have secretaries, or even anyone to help with email and other business concern, and it may take a few DAYS to get back to you.

*DO NOT assume it's "no big deal" to ask for free work. While you might get (using a dentist example above) that it's rude to think someone would repair a broken tooth off hours, it's just as rude to ask for free psychic reading questions when your reader is not on the clock. People repeatedly try to sneak these in. None of you are as slick as you think you are either. ;) It is asking for free services and incredibly rude. It is also rude to assume anyone wants to work for a few hours for you for absolutely no compensation. If you're asking enough questions that your worker will need hours to respond in writing, you should probably offer to pay this person for their time.

*Don't tell someone to prove themselves via free services. It's one thing to ask how long they have been practicing or offering services, wholly another to demand free work so they can "prove themselves" which applied to basically any other service would get you laughed out of that person's office for merely requesting such a thing.

GET THE HELL OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
I can't say this or explain this enough. I won't even bother everyone else here with repeating what this is.

On top of the above (see the linked text) you also need to keep in mind to STOP acting out unhelpful behaviors. For example if someone you acted towards your "beloved" as you do towards me, I'd leave you in a heartbeat. :/ Being overly worrisome for example is a HIGHLY UNATTRACTIVE trait just in a friend...and if you think your attitude only comes through to me, you're mistaken.

DOES HE/SHE LOVE ME IS AN INCREDIBLY ANNOYING AND OFTEN-MOSTLY-POINTLESS QUESTION, so could you stop asking it over and over? It might not even have anything to do with whether or not that person will come back. In fact, I love a few of my exs and have no intention of lowering myself to ever speaking to them again. ;) I suppose it's valid to ask once, but asking it over and over often has less to do with what you're really curious about like if that person is coming back, if there is something you did or said that you can fix, etc. I get everyone wants the reassurance of "I love you" even if given through a third party such as myself, but hearing it once should suffice.

IF YOU CAN'T EVEN MANAGE TO GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING YOU NEED A PSYCHIATRIST NOT A SPELLCASTER OR PSYCHIC. I realize when you're very emotionally distraught, your worst side can come out. We all have a bad day or a bad moment. However, if your every waking moment is full of worrying, self doubt, crippling fear or etc, YOU need to "man up" and see someone who is a professional who deals with emotional problems to get some help, especially if your condition isn't improving in a few weeks. A spellcaster or psychic is likely not also a certified therapist (although it isn't as rare as you think, as I know more than one person who does both,) so you need to see the proper professional to deal with your issues and not depend on the person who casts spells and does readings for a living.

EVERY TIME YOU JUST WANT YOUR SPELLCASTER OR PSYCHIC'S OPINION ON A TRIVAL POINT YOU ARE TAKING UP (usually unpaid) TIME. What's trivial? "Cat, so and so texted me today, and they said "Hi how are you?" but I didn't feel that was very lovey - what do you think? Also I saw so and so in the store and I think s/he was looking at me but I am not sure. What do you think that means? What is your opinion on if I wear a cleavage shirt or do you think I should be more modest at my business meeting? Why do you think the modest shirt? What is your opinion on this dream I have and why do you feel that way?" Honestly, if it's not a "Super huge deal" or if it's a lot of questions, I think you should pay for my (or your reader's) time to ask those questions. Just because you're bored and curious doesn't mean I (or your reader/worker) have unlimited time to answer everything that crosses your mind. Within reason, a few of these are not a huge deal, but often the people who ask them, ask several of them, and frequently. My opinion is asked over things like should you get a blue or red car when you're paying me to help you with your new bakery business...and the car is a personal not business vehicle. :/ I think I went over this in the above on my first point, but I can't drive it home enough.

Anyhoo, sorry for the lecture. I hope this reminder post give me time to do less "Hey Cat, I thought of my ex boyfriend wearing a birthday hat at my cousins 12 birthday party, is that a sign?" question answering and more writing for all of you. ;)

I apologize if I unintentionally offended anyone but the above needed saying.

~Cat

This work and all content on this blog is copyright 2012 OriginalNinjaCat.com. Plagiarists are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Sophomoric Rootworker Humor - possibly NSFW?

So today I was trying to give someone a visual representation of a certain technique, and before I could even finish the set up entirely, I realized I was staring at this:

Normally such a thing would not faze me, but for some reason it cracked me up. So...is it true love here between the couple with him throwing out a stiffy of such magnitude, or is that female wax figure wishing she could bolt and run after standing opposite to Mr. Tripod there? You let me know your thoughts.

~Cat

PS- Just as a note, no that's no one's active spell. ;) As another note, no, I'm not going to go into depth what I am setting up here. I'm sure you can figure out part of it. This is a fraction of a much larger set up so it's just that the particular angle was one I thought might give you a giggle, and is not meant to be educational outside of that amusement-value for my readers.

PPS- The caption is really easy to change. If you can keep it PG-13 level, and you're funny, I'll change the caption and give you credit. ;)

The image and text is copyright me. Please see my plagiarism notice.

The Internet Eye in my Blog Sees All!! (And this amazing power comes standard with my blog!)

As some of you know, I have been vehemently resisting the "New TypePad," for much of the summer, and some of my actual absence from writing was not just because I got busy, but also my reaction to being forced onto using their beta platform against my will (they more or less stopped offering the old user-interface, in other words.)

BUT, not to totally discourage, I found something today that I like about New TypePad's user interface. I can now see all the Facebooking action my articles get, even which articles are being Facebooked. :) I had already previously creeped people out with my power of "referrers" where I saw which pages people were on before hitting my blog (I still can see that - behold, you were on google searching for a rootworker,) and now I have the mystical ability to see my articles being passed around the high school cafeteria which is Facebook.

Interesting.

Anyhow, that was random, but I just figured I'd share.

Back to the article I was writing. :)

~Cat