Cat's Rants - Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

NSFW - Wax On, F*ck off!

For those of you who remember the REAL Karate Kid, and who are even old enough to know who the heck Ralph Macchio is (this guy was huge when I was in my single digits,) this is absolutely hysterical. From Funny or Die:

Wax On, F*ck Off with Ralph Macchio from Ralph Macchio

I Told You I Was Putting On a Contest!!! WIN STUFF BY ENTERING!

Good Morning, Occulties!

So... I told you there was an super-cool contest on the way...and I said that a few weeks ago. I know, you all think I forgot. But no!

Here's the backstory - I know you don't care, but I'm going to tell it anyhow, and you have to be polite and pretend you care. ;) Right around when yours truly had come up with a new idea for a contest, I broke my camera. Its a $450 camera that I've treasured like it was my own child since I got it for Xmas in like...07? maybe? Either way, its a Canon and years and years of whining for this particular model had finally paid off, only to break with what the internet tells me is a common malfunction for this model a few short years later. :( I don't have $450 to buy a new one either. So....*whine* I have to use old images of my own....I know I have some free images from different places but they just aren't as cool as mine. I thought "Maybe I'll change this contest to a 'Best Spell Picture' contest," but I rejected that thought after a week since...well, that would really not be super creative of me. It wasn't my style.

Then I thought, "What if I do a 'define thinking something to death,' contest? But also rejected that idea. I realized I'd just have too many people saying the same things, and it would be hard to judge the "best" entry.

So...instead we're going to have a just very simple, very basic contest. It is in fact SO EASY that you will fall over from the shock of how easy it is!

All you need to do is to send me a suggestion for a type of spell you would like to see on here. That's it.

You may enter up to three times. Please send INDIVIDUAL EMAILS for each entry. You may email me by clicking here or emailing me directly using the "email me" link under the picture of the drunk cat, and filling in the needed information. The info I will need is:

*Your full name
*Your email address
*Your spell suggestion

If you are sending an email NOT using the contact form, please use the title SPRING 2010 CONTEST. Thank you.

No purchase is neccissary, this contest is open to all persons aged 18 and over.

The GRAND PRIZE IS: One free half-hour reading with me, $100 gift certificate to Amazon OR a $100 payment from PayPal, AND though you don't really receive this part the prize in the sense that you aren't the recipient of a new set of wheels, I am going to donate a FREE WHEELCHAIR to a needy person in your honor through FREE WHEELCHAIR MISSION. If that's not totally awesome, I don't know what is. :)

The 2 Runner-Up prizes are a $25 gift certificate to Amazon.com OR a $25 payment from me via PayPal.

Winners will be announced on the blog using your initials, and I will contact you via email privately. I will not publish your full name and/or location unless you expressly tell me that I can.

This contest runs from today (April 30th) until May 21 at 4pm Eastern time. Winners will be chosen on May 21 at 5pm Eastern. Winners will be determined by a random drawing.

So get those entries in to me people. Its time to win things and to give a needy person the gift of mobility. :)

What is not a viable entry? I need you to make realistic spell suggestions. If you put that you want a spell to change you into a werewolf or a spell to make you God, I will disqualify you, and send you a notice of disqualifying that entry. Also, people who have been told we are no longer working together due to their bad behaviors (harrassing, threatening, etc,) are also disqualified from entering.

If you have questions, please contact me to let me know.

~Cat

(Amazon.com, PayPal, and Free Wheelchair Mission are copyright their respective owners. The awards were decided by the author of this article, and not through any promotion by or request from the organizations above named.)

Please Help Save Walter

A friend of mine posted this to her Facebook. I'm passing his story along just in case anyone can make a donation to help Walter the puppy. You know I'm a "dog-person" (I love dogs so much,) but if you aren't, I ask that you please read the story of Walter and decide for yourself if you have any money to spare to help with his treatment.

http://www.helpsavewalter.blogspot.com/

Look at his cute face!

I Love New Hampshire for Damn Sure!

If you weren't born here and lived here forever, you just don't get it! NH state of mind!

Damn straight I love the Granite State!

Enjoy!

~Cat

Instant Classic Email - Spellcasting in Outer-space

Hey Occulties,

Occaisionally I get some pretty funny email (whether or not that is the intention behind it,) so without further ado, a reader had asked me this:

Q: Dear Cat, have you ever been in outerspace? I am pretty sure you haven't, but I wondered - would spells still work if you cast them while in outerspace? Thank you in advance.

A: I don't even like flying in airplanes, so I don't want to know what sort of anti-anxiety meds I'd require for a trip out past the safety of the Earth's atmosphere...and also, I don't have the science degrees or flight experience required to be an astronaut. It sounds as though you had gotten that it was pretty unlikely that NASA had tried to jettison a rootworker into space just yet. ;)

However, what the Almighty did provide me with is a good brain for hypothetical situations. I am just taking an educated guess here, but I would say, yes, it is possible to successfully spellcast while in outer space (assuming you are in a place where you can breathe oxygen, and also where other things requiring oxygen to work, such as flame, can be allowed the amount of needed air to work.) Now, on that note, I'm no astronaut, but I'm going to presume that lighting candles on a space station in zero gravity is a really bad, really dangerous idea. I am not really sure a flaming stick of wax is the sort of thing one wants floating around in an environment where even the oxygen must be supplied, so we might say that, for safety reasons, candle magic would not be well-advised while in the types of environments humans can survive in while outside of the Earth's atmosphere. I suspect making charms, would work... Um, taking ritual baths would probably be very very difficult. I mean, you would have to make the "tea" out of the herb, and then find a method of getting it into the shower hose. I have heard astronauts also do not exactly shower in water (?) so maybe its impossible? BUT all of that aside, other than environmental dangers and certain implausibilities of using specific types of spellcraft due to how things are set up on space shuttles and space stations, I do feel the magical energy itself could be used, and would not suffer simply because the person casting the spell was not within the Earth's boundaries. Hoodoo probably would not be superb for space stations...maybe in that case you'd be better advised to use Psionics, which is a paradigm that depends more on the will of the spellcaster than on his or her materials.

****

Special thanks to the reader who was a good sport, and was not offended by me asking to post this as an "Instant Classic." :D

~Cat

Picture credit is thank you Hubble Telescope! :)

This Is Definitely NOT Goofer's Dust

Hey everyone...

So, I was ROTFLMAO at this... Goofer's dust is, generally speaking, usually made considerably near to the following formula, regardless of who's making it (sort of like a meatloaf, there is a basic recipie to follow, though some people do add or take out certain things): Sulphur, graveyard dirt, red pepper, salt, snake skin/powdered insects. Again, 99% of formulas at least LOOSELY will fall under those guidelines (and I took out a few of my personal additions to that formula, hehe, for the purpose of keeping my kickass recipie mostly to myself.) There is at the very effing least graveyard dirt and some snake skin or powdered bug in the recipie, and I'v yet to hear a recipie lacking either of those ingredients. >:-/

I'll tell ya one thing I know for sure - Goofer dust is not pale blue talc. ;)

So, if you see a jar of talc, and it says "Goofers Dust," you probably are not buying anything of the sort.

~Cat

Curiousity Regarding Interest In....

Hey everyone,

I've had a few ambitious ideas in mind (several in fact - I wish I had this cool thing known as free time sometimes,) and had thought of putting together a few PDF's of the blog, namely a love & recon collection, other spells collection (everything but the luv,) and maybe the big spell book with both - and all of these in PDF form, and for sale. Why for sale? Jeez, its here for free, and all, but you actually have to make an effort, and making an effort to work in the least is a big hassle for many people. ;) I mean, goodness forbid we have to take on my archives, right? ;)

Would people be interested in purchasing these collections? Please let me know if this has a market, or if you have other suggestions, and I will see if I can't find some time between eating, sleeping, and working to fit in making up a PDF book of collected spells. :)

~C

Random, Random, Random

There are just so many jokes I could say, that I will leave this at I found this in the supermarket (its a real product) and I can't be the only one thinking these resemble something.

Happy Birthday, Lord Krishna!

Today marks the day celebrated as being the birth of Krishna, 8th avatar of Vishnu! For more information, click HERE and HERE.

Curious and Curiouser....

Hey all,

Here's a sort of thing that never made sense to me... I only do "office work" or "Desk work" on Monday through Friday, and not on the weekend. I also only offer psychic readings during these weekday times. I do spellcast on the weekend, but insofar as dealing with people goes, the weekend is my break-time from that. How is it, and why is it, that people seem SO INCLINED to email me voraciously on the weekend? Isn't it generally more useful to contact a business during its hours of operation? Seriously, I have received on SUNDAY more email today than I received on the whole of Friday.

So weird.

This leads me to believe I will be suffering from almost 1000 emails after my vacation again. ;) I think its like Murphy's Law or something if I am not going to be around, everyone sends me a heckuva lot of emails? Dunno.

~Cat