Hey there kids,
Ah multiple retrograde time...when all the people we don't want out of their homes come out to play. :P Yeah, I know you're running into them too. So today I'd like to discuss something... I do A LOT of work for free, and yet because my profession is greatly misunderstood, it often comes down to....people have not one freaking clue what they are asking sometimes or how obtuse or ridiculous they are being.
Let's pretend I'm a lawyer and not a rootworker, and you come to me having been caught with a bloody knife in your hand standing over a person who's been stabbed several times, who points at you and says "He/She/They did it," directly before expiring with you still standing over them with a knife and 10 cops seeing this. You hire me because I have over 30 years lawyering experience and I'm the best attorney there is for criminal cases. "Cat," you say, "Can you get me acquitted?" Now, I know I can't get anyone to believe you didn't stab the victim to death...but is it self-defense? Are there other mitigating factors? It doesn't need to be first-degree murder, but perhaps a lesser count like second degree or manslaughter. As I discuss this with you, I form some ideas and say I surely could get you a better deal than you have now which is they are going to find you guilty and send you up for the death penalty as your victim is say, a well respected denizen of the area. You insist you must be acquitted. I ask did you kill the guy. You say you sure did. OK, says I, the fact that someone's dead and you did it and you admitted to it is going to be hard, but as I'm working this case for you I manage to get you out on bail (which under such circumstances would require an amazing lawyer)...so you go out, and you stab another person but they don't die. Now you have a living victim who says you just walked over and started stabbing them, and you're in jail again.
Now if you're certain people who try to get spell services, your "lawyer example counterpart" would say this to me "Ugh, you're like the worst lawyer, Cat. I only STABBED this second person in the FUCKING ARM. They are still QUITE ALIVE, thanks! Why am I back in jail? It's like your lawyer ability started out OK because I got bail but I bet you'll not even get me a not guilty on the first charge of murder, and you FAIL as a lawyer if I am not acquitted. Where did you get your degree? Did you write it on a piece of construction paper? You suck at your job!"
At this point, I sit you down and explain (for the probably 100th time) that you are paying me for my skill and expertise - NOT THE OUTCOME - and that you must work WITH ME to get you the best outcome possible, which, you're right, at this point may not be a full acquittal. I mean, the first victim you outright admitted to killing, and now a living witness says you just walked up to them and randomly stabbed them, which is at least assault with a deadly weapon, and the state wants attempted murder...but since it was only in the arm that they got stabbed, I MIGHT be able to do something...but not get you bail again. After being told how much I suck at my job because surely your stabbing this second person was entirely the product of being upset about the first murder charge and everyone including the state and all eyewitnesses would understand the stress you're under and can't think jail is reasonable when they are accusing you of murder on the first person when you merely just stabbed them to death which was completely understandable, blah blah blah...
Yes many people, were we to flip over to what they say to and about a spellcaster when they do not understand magic/spells instead of the law/attorneys really sound this bad.
So we move forward with you in jail with charges of first degree murder and attempted murder, and assault with a deadly weapon and who knows what else!? While you're in jail, you make a shank out of something and you stab a corrections officer, who doesn't die. When I come to talk to you to ask WHY YOU KEEP STABBING PEOPLE!? you say "Look, you scam fucking lawyer, you have no idea what a sonofabitch Officer Peabody here is! He totally refused to let me eat my honeybun because he said I'd stolen it from this other inmate and when I told him tough shit and he went to grab it, I just reacted and stabbed him. Other witnesses instead report that this is not what happened. They say you just walked over and stabbed the guy. I point this out and ask you to PLEASE STOP STABBING PEOPLE, and you say "Well, look, if you were any sort of a good lawyer, my stabbing who I want to stab isn't going to affect my first case. That stabbing is in no way connected to these stabbings. I stabbed that original guy for totally different reasons, like I told you. Anyhow, I paid you for a not guilty verdict, so hurry it up because I'm feeling super stabby and ever since I was put into solitary confinement for stabbing that guard, I can't stab people like I like to."
At this point, probably wishing I was your next victim as it sure sounds preferable to trying to help you since you WILL NOT STOP COMMITTING CRIMES OF GREAT MAGNITUDE, I calmly explain to you that unless you stop stabbing people, I will not be able to help you further, and that, at this point, you are almost sure to do jail time because you won't stop stabbing people. I reason with you just enough for you to realize that you are going to do some sort of jail time probably, but you relent just enough because I've found some loopholes and some arguments which may amount to time-served when we get to the end of your trial, and you agree you'll stop stabbing people, so we can get you out of jail soon. And you do. For a whole month you stab no one. Then you stab another inmate. The inmate dies. "Cat," you say "I was totally good for a month! Who cares if I stab someone after a whole month of good behavior? Plus it was only an inmate in jail. They aren't people right?" (Not realizing the irony that you're an inmate too, I take it.)
By the time you go to trial, I miraculously get you five years in jail. When you get out of jail you post all over the internet and anywhere you can go to tell everyone I'm a "fake" lawyer (and mind you, I worked pro bono for months!) because despite your proclivity for stabbing everyone (which you somehow omit in your public rants against me,) I am responsible for not getting you 100% acquitted since if you pay a lawyer it means not guilty or they're fake.
THE ABOVE IS EXACTLY HOW PEOPLE SOUND WHEN THEY PERSISTANTLY ENGAGE IN SPELL-KILLING BEHAVIORS AND BLAME THE SPELLCASTER.
Example: You want me to bring your ex back. After I do a consultation, I agree, but I tell you "You need to let this go some and not fight with your ex, and not stalk them through social media or traditional means, and not ask about them through friends. Try to put it out of your mind, okay?" You agree. You say you understand completely. I do the spellwork and 2 days later I get "Well, I might have messed up...I called my ex and told them that they are the worst person imaginable and that I hope they die. That won't hurt the spell, right?" Um...yes it will. But we decide that hey, it's only 2 days since I did the work, let's wait and see. Now a few days after you say "I wrote my ex a long message via email telling him/her/them that they are an awful person for having left me and that they are selfish and a complete narcissist unless they come back, but I'm sure that's OK?" Yeah no. When you finally stop harassing this person you watch their social media daily (stalking!) and ask me frequently to discuss your many obsessive feelings on your ex (obsessing!) Finally I'm like "Look, (client,) I'm not going to lie, this is really bad and you're not working with me. This might not come together. You actively work against my work in the mundane or the etheric planes." Your reaction? I'm a fake who steals money then, otherwise I better bring your ex back because it doesn't matter what you do, paying me insures an outcome. I explain again that this is not the case, that without you working WITH ME and not AGAINST ME and AGAINST YOUR DESIRED OUTCOME, we won't have success. After some lengthy accusatory miserable conversation thrown at me, you insist I console you (you've just told me off) and reassure you (and said I suck and you hate me,) but sure, let's do it. Out of my own pocket I redo your work for you (because paying me again for everything you've ruined would never happen,) and this time you stalk less, you obsess less. I'm lulled into believing you might get it. Maybe this time we will succeed - you by not attacking your target or obsessing or stalking, me with my spellwork. One night I get an email and it says "(Ex) just contacted me!" in the title. Wow, I'm excited. I read the body of it and you're saying you are going to meet up! Yes! Then I get a text three hours later "Well, so you suck. I went out with the ex, and the moment I got in my ex's car I threw myself at them weeping and saying I need them and then brought up the past." Wait, so I've told you NOT to do that when it happens, and that you'll scare this person off, but you did it, and now I'm the fake? Right....
So the next time you "review" a spellcaster or say they are all fake, read the above and realize that, due to the ignorance of many people, we deal with the above on a daily basis, and some people actually BELIEVE that we are wrong and scamming them while they knowingly do all of the above.
BUT LET'S SAY YOU WERE A PERFECT CLIENT ONCE, AND DID NOT ACT THAT WAY OR HAVE MISGUIDED BELIEFS AND SOMEONE DID YOU DIRTY ALL THE SAME. You ran into a charlatan and you're reasonably sure that you did. So now you want to cast your own spellwork, just to be sure. Alright, fair enough.
You go to the internet....which while a great resource is also a big piece of crap at times where someone tells you if you chew a pepper and spit it at your enemy's picture, they will burn for it because someone said that once was a spell, so....okay... So you go to the internet and you start harassing people who have been well known occultists for some time with:
TELL ME HOW TO FIX MY COMPLICATED PROBLEMS (that you explain) BUT WITH ABSOLUTELY THE LEAST AMOUNT OF INGREDIENTS BECAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY TO BUY THEM, AND NO RITUAL TOOLS, AND THEN ALSO KNOW I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE SPELLCASTING AND CANNOT EVEN LOCATE SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS CAYENNE PEPPER! ALSO I HAVE ROOMMATES AND I NEED TO BE DISCREET.
And if that isn't bad enough, you say:
TELL ME HOW TO DO ALL OF THIS FOR FREE AND MAKE SURE BY SPENDING HOURS CHATTING WITH ME FOR FREE THAT I CAN ACCOMPLISH A SPELL WHICH WOULD BE SO SIMPLE EVEN SOMEONE WHO NEVER HEARD OF MAGIC CAN CAST IT AND I WILL CALL YOU A FAKE IF I CAN'T DO IT RIGHT.
Okay, so you're asking someone something which would be right up there with "Tell me for free how to do open heart surgery with a butter knife and a roll of papertowels, do it immediately in some live way (phone or text) and I can't sterilize anything, have no anatomical knowledge so I will require you to intricately point out verbally every thing, I don't understand the heart or the many veins surrounding it, and if my patient dies it's your fault."
Yeah, so how's your open-heart surgery with a butter knife and paper towels going to go? I mean IF you can get past that nasty ribcage with your implement as is? :P
But it's TOTALLY FINE to do the same thing to a spellcaster because we are just some jerks that have all the free time in the world for you, right? Right.
The reality is...
I LOVE TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO CAST SPELLS.
I LOVE CASTING SPELLS.
But
I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO ARE IRRESPONSIBLE ASSHOLES WHO, BY WILLFUL IGNORANCE, AS WELL AS BY REFUSAL TO TAKE ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN ACTIONS, TEAR EVERYONE DOWN AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND THAT RESULTS ARE NOT GUARANTEED AND THAT EVEN THE BEST WORK WILL FALL FLAT OF EXPECTATIONS IF THE PETITIONER DOES NOT WORK WITH THE SPELLWORK.
And you know what else?
I ALSO HATE PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THEY ARE OWED FREE SERVICES BECAUSE THEY FEEL EXPERT ADVICE TAILORED TO THEIR SITUATION IS NOT WORTH ANYTHING.
And the thing is...I do a lot of free work, and help a lot of people for free, but just look at what my job is (free/paid):
So FREE THINGS WHICH I OFFER FOR YOUR PRIVATE USE:
All the information on this blog which contains several spells for almost any need - follow simple instructions, cast your own spells! You can't claim the work as your own, but if you want to use it to cast your own spells, please do!
Clarification and explanations which require a brief (less than 10 minutes) amount of time for me to reply to.
Posts on other sites/forums (I might post in your group, I definitely post in subreddits and groups on my own, but I'll join many places if asked)
Advice/assistance (under 10 minutes to write) for tarot learners/people casting spells/personal issues
Things I offer for FREE for PUBLIC USE:
Interviews for articles
Services WHICH I SELL:
Spellcasting services (I cast customized spellwork for you)!
Readings
Help/Advice with you casting your own spells,
Customized instructions for casting a spell on your own situation
Tarot/Spell/Personal advice of any other kind that takes longer than 10 minutes to write out
Live Consultation (without readings)
Consultation for Films, Books, Research Projects, Television, and other media
Things which I DO NOT OFFER FOR FREE (and will block you just for trying to get for free!)
Endless personal advice
Cast free spells
Give free readings
Custom spellcasting instructions just for your situation
Now the reason I SELL services? Because I have been a spellcaster for 30 fucking years and my experience and knowledge would rival someone with a PhD in any other area of learning on the matter. A good lawyer here in Portland costs between $200-$325 and HOUR here, and I've studied and practiced longer than most of the ones charging that, but my hourly is lower.
Rude, entitled people do not seem to GET THAT.
And what's sad, - truly sad, - is that
I FUCKING LOVE CASTING SPELLS AND GETTING PEOPLE EVERYTHING THEY EVER WANTED! IT IS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD TO CAST SPELLS AND HAVE HAPPY CUSTOMERS. I have a wall where I've printed out thank you's and when I get sad, I sit next to it, and read all the nice things people have said to me.
That's right.
I LITERALLY SIT NEXT TO A WALL OF THANK YOU'S WHEN I HAVE A MOMENT WHERE I WONDER WHY LIFE SUCKS SO BAD BECAUSE THAT DRIVES ME BACK TO HAPPINESS NO MATTER WHAT. Everything - every nice thing, - someone said means so fucking much to me. But the one thing that will make me retire - and trust me, if it keeps up it's coming sooner than later is getting a lot of this:
WHY IS IT NOT WORKING EVEN THOUGH I STALKED MY EX AND TOLD THEM OFF SEVERAL TIMES
WILL YOU DO THIS FOR FREE?
ANYONE WHO CHARGES FOR SPELLS IS FAKE!
WHY CAN I NOT SPEAK TO YOU FOR THREE HOURS EVERY DAY FOR FREE!? I PAID YOU TO CAST A SPELL!
HOW DARE YOU NOT REPLY TO ME WHILE YOU WERE LITERALLY IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING A ROOT CANAL, YOU SELFISH BITCH! (this literally happened, and yep, finally something on my blog about you, person who said it.)
I TEXTED YOU AT 3am! YOU DID NOT IMMEDIATELY ANSWER, YOU CHARLATAN!
IF YOU WON'T WRITE OUT PERSONALIZED INSTRUCTIONS FOR ME TO DO THIS MYSELF, YOU ARE A FUCKING SELFISH CUNT!
And I could keep going.
So let's just all be civil during this retrograde. Let's be responsible for ourselves. I am not a perfect person, and neither are any of you. If you treat me with respect, if we work together and do it with mutual respect - me helping you to not ruin your spellwork, you not ruining it, me giving you time you deserve to help you understand the process, you not abusing that time, - we will succeed.
Because I fucking LOVE CASTING SPELLS, and I LOVE HELPING PEOPLE but it's some epic asshattery lately, and I'm not going to back down.
I don't even care if that makes me unpopular.
~Cat